A Boy Worth Choosing (The Worthy Series Book 2) (5 page)

“Thursday sounds great.” I concede. I stand up and wrap my arms around her. “Would kissing you right now be taking things too fast?”

Her breathing goes staccato and I’m quite fond of this new effect I have on her.

“No,” she barely whispers. I tilt my head down just as she tilts hers up and we meet perfectly in the middle. Her soft lips part for me and a moment later, I have to step back and away from this woman who does all sorts of things to me.

She touches her fingertips to her lips as I take a step backwards, my eyes never leaving hers.

“Just so you know, I’m not making plans for tomorrow night. Let me know if you change your mind.”

Chapter Five

~Jessie~

Two weeks have passed since I called Stephen in for his assistance with our cancellation issue, and every time I bring up the issue he tells me it’s being taken care of, but he won’t tell me how. We have definitely seen a decrease in the number of cancellations, and this morning Daphne told me that the reviews are no longer posted on the website, which of course made me even more curious as to what exactly went down.

It would have been nice if someone had reminded me curiosity killed the cat
before
dinner with Stephen though.

“Soooo…” I start to say as I watch Stephen push his vegetables around his plate, “The reviews have been removed from PicturePerfect.com as of this morning.”

“That’s great,” he said without looking up.

“Are you going to tell me how you were able to manage that?”

He sighs, obviously exasperated with my persistence.

“I honestly can’t tell you.” He says with a tired, defeated look.

“Stephen, I-“

“I can’t tell you because I don’t know.” He sighs. “I had to call Grady in. With the vote up soon for my senior partnership, I had to relinquish the case over to someone who wasn’t so personally involved.”

“Okay,” I say, trying to leave an encouraging tone in my voice. “I don’t really care who addressed Caleb, just so long as there weren’t any more reviews posted. I really wasn’t expecting the reviews to be removed altogether, but I’m thrilled with the results. So thank you.”

I reach over and lay my hand over his. Something is obviously bothering him. I’m hoping it’s not me, but I want him to know how much I appreciate his help, however I can get it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask timidly.

“Jess, I don’t really want to talk about it.” He finally looks into my eyes and my heart takes a nose dive. Even before we started dating, I wanted nothing but for him to be happy, and well, right now, he definitely isn’t happy.

“Okay, but you know I’m here if you need to talk about it.” I don’t really know what else to say.

We finish dinner; well, I finish dinner, he just rearranges the food on his plate for the next twenty minutes before letting the waitress take his plate away. I want right then to take away his worries, but I know that until he’s ready, he won’t let me in on whatever is bothering him. As we walk out into the cool spring evening, I take up his arm and squeeze it tight to me.

He finally looks down at me and I take the quick opportunity to give him a kiss. He lingers, so I slip my arms around him and just hold him tight. After a few moments, he wraps his arms around me too and we just stand there on the sidewalk until I feel him relax.

“I could get used to this,” he tells me, planting a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“Get used to what?” I chuckle.

“You really are the best cure for a bad day.” He smiles, pulling back.

We start to make our way back to his car, hand in hand. He walks me to the passenger side and opens the door for me. I stop before sliding in.

“I’m sorry you had such a bad day. Anything I can do to make it better?” I ask.

He takes my face in his hands and lays a slow, sweet kiss over my lips. He pulls back so that our noses barely touch.

“You already are,” he says softly. He lets me go and I slip in to the car, still concerned.

We ride in silence back to my apartment, and this quickly becomes one of those times where his silence bothers me. I really want to know what happened today that could pull such a strong man down. When we pull up to my building, he turns the engine off and jumps out, still without saying a word. He manages a sweet smile by the time he opens my door for me, but I know he’s struggling to be positive. Ever the gentleman, he offers his hand as I climb out. Lacing his fingers through mine, he wraps his hands around my waist, pinning my arms behind me and pulling me close.

“I’m sorry for being such a horrible date tonight,” he says in a low voice. “Any chance you’d be up for company? I’m not really ready to let you go for the night.” He nuzzles his nose just below my ear, and he could have told me he wanted us to rob a bank and I would have agreed. 

I murmur something intelligent like, “uh huh.”

He chuckles as he lets go of my hands, keeping one of his around my waist to direct me toward the front of the building. The night air has a hint of warmth to it and my skin aches to soak it in before calling it a night.

“A new coffee shop just opened up a few blocks down, want to check it out? It’s too nice out to be stuck inside.” I ask.

“Sure.” He shrugs.

We stroll down to the quaint little shop and order, enjoying the unseasonably warm evening by taking the long way home. Stephen still doesn’t really say anything, but he seems to be physically relaxing so I take some comfort that my mere presence is helping. By the time we make it back to my apartment though, the sun is no longer out to keep the air warm, causing the temperature to drop quickly. I’m starting to shiver by the time we reach my front door, and as I put the key in, I feel his hands rub up and down my arms to warm me up.

I turn around and he engulfs me into a snug hug. He exudes warmth, and I kind of melt into his chest as he walks me backwards into my apartment. By the time we have crossed the threshold, his lips have found mine and his strong arms have constricted, reducing the amount of space in between us. He swings me around without breaking contact, somehow manages to close the door and pushes me up against it, all in one movement. My lips open in surprise and he takes advantage, deepening our already hot kiss.

I can feel his need to let go of all the burdens of his day as he presses even further against me. His kisses start to trail down my jaw and my breath starts to stick in my throat. His hands move up my back while mine find his wayward blonde locks. This new feeling of need and desire passes between us in such a short period of time, that my mind barely has time to keep up. My subconscious tugs at me, reminding me that I’ve made a promise to him, myself and God. Not to mention something is clearly bothering him, possibly driving him to lose control, so I force myself to sober up from the drunken state his kisses have put me in.

“Stephen,” I say, my voice way too breathy. I plant my palms on his ultra-firm chest and nearly lose my resolve to stop. “Hey.  You know we need to stop.”

He lifts his head and touches his forehead to mine, gasping for air. His eyes are squeezed shut and I know he’s reminding himself of all the reasons this isn’t right.

“Talk to me.” I lower my arms to his waist and he looks up to the heavens, taking a small step back to put a bit of space between us. My heart tears just a little seeing him in so much pain. “Please, let me help take some of this burden off of you.”

He shakes his head before stepping out of my reach.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” He takes a few more steps back and refuses to look me in the eye. 

“I wish you’d talk to me. We’re still friends. I’m still here for you. Even if I shouldn’t be worrying about it, I can-“

“I may not make partner,” he blurts out. My world stops spinning. I know how badly he wants this, and even though he hasn’t said it, something in the depths of my being tells me that it’s my fault.

“Because I asked you to help me with my defamation case.” When he doesn’t respond my stomach bottoms out.  “But I thought you said Grady handled it, not you.”

“He did. Aside from immediately alerting my boss of the issue, I followed every rule to the ‘T’, staying completely away from it. I didn’t even know the issue had been resolved until you mentioned it at dinner.”

“Okay, so if you did everything like you’re supposed to, why would this keep you from making partner?” I ask. He raises an eyebrow daring me to even explore the answer to that question.

“Caleb.” I breathe. Of course, Caleb had told me he had worked with the name partners before. “But he was in the wrong here. How should he have any impact with whether you are made a partner or not?”

“I’m not entirely sure. He was in the office this afternoon. I caught him in the lobby on my way back from a meeting with a client.” He starts pacing behind the couch. “Shortly after he left though, Dallas Michaelson pulls me into his office and tells me they have to push back the vote.  Then he asked me about the issue with Caleb and I explained to him that after getting all the information from you, I immediately handed it all over to Grady, since you and I are in a personal relationship. Dallas thanked me for being frank and apologized. He really sounded contrite, like his arm is being twisted in the matter.” He runs his hands through his hair and finally plops down on the couch. 

“Grady was called in next, but came by my office afterward. He was hot. Furious. Said a few choice words and told me not to sweat it.” He finally looks up to me and shrugs.

“I’m. So. Sorry.” I stutter out, hugging myself as I push off the door, starting to pace myself. “I should have reached out to someone else. I should have-“

“No.” He jumps up and pulls me in his arms again, pulling my head to his chest. “I don’t want you going to anyone else. I will always take care of you, regardless of the consequences. Don’t ever think I won’t.”

“This isn’t a matter of you not taking care of me, Stephen.” I pull back. “This is about putting you in a position that compromises your future.”

“Jess, you
are my future. I’d gladly give up partnership to make sure that your well-being is secure.”

His words are like a punch to the gut, catching my breath. Here we are a little over two weeks into our relationship and he’s declaring me to be his future. My heart is doing somersaults at the possibility of a future with him. But my head is whistling and flashing a bright neon “Slow Down!” sign.

“Stephen, I-“

“Don’t have to say anything.” He steps back, grabs my hand and guides me toward the couch. I sit down, thankful to have the floor stop spinning on me. He doesn’t let go of my hands as he continues, “I have waited a very, very long time for you. I wouldn’t have asked you to try us out if I didn’t believe with all of my heart that I could be the one you choose to spend the rest of your life with. I’m not asking for that now, but I do want you to think about it, consider it.”

I don’t know what to say. I stare at our hands, completely dumbfounded. Not six months ago, I was distraught with precisely this issue, wondering how I was supposed to move on with my life. I had a plan and that plan was obviously not the plan God had for me. Now I have my best friend-slash-boyfriend sitting beside me telling me his plan is to give me my happily ever after and I’m second guessing it?

He slips his hand out of mine and reaches up to tilt my head up, so that his eyes can find mine. He leans in for another kiss and I feel a tug that is starting to become consistent with his touch. His lips are gentle and soft, not pressing or urging for anything more, but still manage to suck the breath out of me. When my eyes open, I see his emerald green beauties reassuring me that this is the way it’s supposed to be.

“Think about it? Please.” He stands up and gently kisses the top of my head before making his way to the door.

Still unable to absorb all that he’s told me in a matter of a couple of minutes, I sit and stare at my hands as the door opens, then quietly clicks shut behind him.

Chapter Six

~Stephen~

To say that the ride home to our parents’ homes the next morning is awkward, is a bit of an understatement. Jessie has her iPad out “reading”, but every few minutes she sighs and adjusts in her seat. I have a feeling her uneasiness is most likely due to my proclamation, but I really believe she needs to know my intentions. Seeing how much it’s impacting her though, I let the subject go for the time being. It’s not like I’m expecting to propose to her anytime soon or anything.

“You look gorgeous this morning,” I say quietly, hoping to pull her out of her funk. She gives me a brief smile before returning back to her iPad. I can’t tell what she’s reading, but I know she can’t be too engrossed in it.

“Listen.” I try again. “I know you’re feeling a little uncomfortable with what I said, and I’m not expecting you to say anything right now, so you can relax. Nothing has changed. We’re still doing this dating thing, taking things slowly, but now you know my intentions. Stop fretting it, please.” I reach over and grab her hand.

“Okay,” she sighs, “I will try.” She gives me a more genuine smile, and I’m glad to see a piece of her back to normal. I have no delusions that she will be back to normal anytime soon. 

The rest of the drive seems to drag excruciatingly longer than normal, but as soon as I pull into the church parking lot, she seems to liven up a bit. Mr. St. James is checking the mailbox when I open the door for her and she jumps out as if nothing is wrong. A piece of my heart twinges, wishing she would get back to being this way with me.

“Hi, Daddy.” She beams and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Hey, kiddo. Stephen, how are you this morning?” Jack reaches out to shake my hand.

“I’m well, sir, thank you.”

“You kids have a good drive?” he asks as he walks his daughter toward the building.

“We did.” I cover for her.

“That’s great. Well I think your mother has a few things for you two to do this morning, so I’ll let you get to it.” Jack smiles as he opens the door for us. He gives me a questioning look as I walk through the door, and I try my best to give him a reassuring look, but I don’t think he’s very assured that everything is alright.

***

Jessie opts to ride back to her house with her father, saying she would like some time with him before they head over to my parents’ house before lunch. I don’t know if she wanted time with him so much as to have some time away from me, and I honestly try not to let it get to me. Apparently I’m not doing a very good job.

“Okay,” my mom says, throwing her potholder on the counter as she closes the oven door. “Spill. What is up with the two of you today?”

“Why, mother, I have no idea what you mean.” Okay, so it’s probably pretty obvious I’m a little irritated.

“Do not take that tone with me young man. You and Jessie have been colder than cold today. For the last two weeks, you two have been floating around here like it’s all sunshine and roses. And you two can’t even look each other in the eye today. What is going on?” She gives me the same terrifying look I got when I shot the pole lights out with my BB gun when I was ten. I was scared of her then, but I know she’s a softy now.

“Nothing we won’t overcome.” I press my lips, not really sure I’m ready to confess to my mother that I have every intention of marrying Jessie someday.

She raises her eyebrow at me as if that answer is highly unacceptable. I sigh and momentarily hope I’ve gained reprieve from my father as he walks in. But the look on his face says he isn’t missing this for the world. I’m pretty sure the air is being sucked out of the room.

“I may have told Jessie my intentions for our relationship last night,” I confess slowly.

“And just what are those?” My father’s eyebrows nearly hit his receding hairline. I’m starting to squirm just a bit. I haven’t felt this guilty since I had to tell them about Zoe Hadley. I’m not sure why, I haven’t knocked up Jessie yet, not that I intend to until well after we’re married, but still…

“I-“ I swallow the lump that is growing exponentially in my throat. “I have every intention of marrying her,” I say slowly. Once it was out, I felt only a little bit lighter for about two seconds. The shock on my mother’s face was comparable to the look I got when I told her about Zoe’s abortion. Oh boy… “Not necessarily anytime soon.” I add in an attempt to defuse the situation a bit.

“Well…” Mom stares at me as if I’ve grown two heads. But the look on my dad’s face, well that looks a little like pride.

“Son, that is great news. So….did you propose then?” my father asks. I’m pretty sure my mother’s heart has stopped; if not, she’s at least stopped breathing because her face is turning a weird purple color.

“Relax, Mom. No, I didn’t propose. I told her she was my future and that-“ I almost tell them about the delay in the partnership vote, but decide last minute not to. They don’t know anything about Caleb’s reviews and Jessie asked me to keep it that way. “And that she just needs to wrap her head around it. That’s all.”

“And what did she say?” My mother asks, finally finding her tongue again.

“She hasn’t really said much actually. I told her not to. I don’t expect her to be ready for a proposal just yet, so she doesn’t have to say anything right now.”

“Do you love her?” Mom just isn’t skipping a beat now. I hesitate, even though I know the answer and finally get my break when I hear a knock on the door.

“We are not done with this conversation, young man.” She gives me a look like she’s beyond angry. My father, who has remained stoically quiet up until this point, walks up and gives me a firm hug.

“You’re mother’s just scared for you. She’ll come around. Jessie’s a great girl, and I couldn’t be more proud,” he tells me just as Jack and Jessie are entering the kitchen.

Although it’s only been an hour since we parted, my insides still start a spin cycle. Jessie gives me an honest smile and I know that it’s okay to approach her. She slips an arm around my waist and just her simple touch eases the tension that built during my mother’s inquisition. I kiss the top of her head, feeling better that she’s not putting up the cold shoulder.

“Are you feeling better?” I ask her quietly, avoiding the stares of my parents.

“A little,” she admits. She turns to my mom about to ask how she can help, like she normally does. Knowing that she should probably steer clear of my mom right now, I pull her into the living room with our fathers before she gets the chance to ask.

“Jessie, how are the interviews for the interns going?” my father asks, successfully distracting her from her inherent need to help set the table.

“Well, a little slowly actually. We had a small customer retention issue that we had to deal with, but it’s resolved now, so we hope to be able to start them in the next week or two,” she says, choosing her words carefully.

I see her father’s eyebrows peak a bit, evidently unaware that she was having any problems. She must have kept the Caleb debacle from him too, but she recovers quickly.

“Daphne and I have started talks of opening a second studio though.”

“Really?” Jack says, clearly distracted. I give her knee a gentle squeeze before getting up to help Mom out with setting the table.

I walk into the kitchen to find her closing drawers a little harder than normal and purposefully throwing things on the counter. I walk over to the cabinet to grab plates, carefully stepping into her peripheral vision so that she knows she’s been caught throwing a tantrum.

“Mom,” I say gently.

“I’m not mad,” she says quietly.

“Really? Because although you’ve never thrown anything at or stabbed me, I’m kind of fearing for my appendages right now.”

She tries to suppress her chuckles. She stops though and turns to me with a very serious look in her eyes.

“Are you one hundred percent sure this is what you want? I know you’ve had your eye on her for a while now…too long really. But you’re sure?”

I take a step closer to her, abandoning the plates for now, and reach for her hands.

“Without a single seed of doubt.”

She sighs heavily. I’m not really sure why she’s so fearful. She has seemingly been Team Jessie since we announced our relationship. I don’t see why my decision should change anything now.

“Then you need to be absolutely sure that she is ready before you even think about taking the next step,” she says firmly. I start to say that I will be, but she cuts me off. “She has been through so much in the last year, and as much as I love her like she’s my own, she’s not. I will not have her breaking your heart.”

Slightly taken aback by her sudden mother bear persona, I try my best to give her a very encouraging look.

“I will, Mom.” She pulls me into a tight, but brief hug. She releases me and waves me back toward the plates. I think I hear her sniffle as I make my way to the table, but when I look, she’s busy with a spoon in one hand and a lid in the other.

***

Jessie seems better as I open the car door for her when we go to leave. Sometime between leaving the church and finishing lunch she has found some sort of peace with whatever has been warring within her, and while I want so badly to know what is going on inside that beautiful brain of hers, I don’t want to undo any of the progress she’s made. So I keep my questions to myself.

After about an hour on the road, she reaches over and grabs my hand, kissing my knuckles before laying our hands in her lap. I see her lay her head back against the seat in my peripheral, a smile slowly spreading across her face.

“What’s so funny over there?” I ask, hoping she’ll give away some train of thought that has helped her to relax.

She shakes her head without opening her eyes.

“That smile could rival the sun.” Her cheeks flame under my compliment and my heart nearly stalls. “Seriously, give me something over here.”

One eye pops open, sending a perfectly shaped eyebrow up. Something deep inside me growls and all pure thoughts run out the window. I clinch my jaw trying to reel myself in and I hear her giggle from what seems like centimeters away. Again, nothing chaste over here.

“I was thinking about us.” She finally shares. “About what you mean by your future.”

I don’t want her to stop talking so I keep my response light. “Okay…”

“How many kids do you want?” she asks, nearly causing me to swerve the car off the freeway.

“Um, well.” I choke. All of a sudden those impure thoughts are shattered by the imaginary sound of baby cries and the searing pain they’ve become accustomed to bringing. “Three, eventually.”

“Eventually?” she sounds concerned.

“Yeah. You?”

“Would I scare you off if I said five?” she giggles. I’m not sure if she’s being serious or not.

“Um, not necessarily. We would need to see if we could come to some sort of compromise though.” She stops giggling and I glance over, worried I’ve upset her. But she’s still head back, eyes closed with the biggest smile plastered across her face.

“Would you want to stay in the city? After we start having kids, I mean,” she asks a few moments later.

Suddenly realizing what she’s doing, seriously considering our life together, has caused my lungs to stop functioning properly. I squeeze the hand she still holds in her lap, and we start planning for our future. We spend the rest of the drive meshing our five and ten year plans, talking careers and homes and more about children.

All too soon we reach her place and like I’ve always found myself with her, I’m not ready to let her go. I follow her to her door, you know, to make sure she makes it in safely. When she opens her door and turns toward me I see a peace in her eyes that sends my head into the clouds.

“So lunch tomorrow then?” she asks, peering up at me through her deliciously long lashes. I step closer and hook a hand around her waist, pulling her close to me.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Maybe for court, or Kate Beckinsale, but other than that-“ She slaps me in the chest, making me laugh. She starts to pull away, so I wrap my other hand around her. The glare in her eyes is adorable but my laugh dies when I find her lips. Seconds later, a subtle hunger wriggles its way through me, pressing her into the door jamb, and taking our breaths away. I finally manage the ability to fight it and pull far enough away so that our foreheads are touching.

“So maybe not even Kate Beckinsale,” I say in between heavy breaths. She giggles and I swear, Jesus himself comes back to Earth to drags me away from her.