A Magnetic Couple Dilemma (Unfinished Liaisons Series) (3 page)

Javier had met Esteban, piece by piece, like the puzzle the
man actually was. First his voice, next his cologne and his beautiful
handwriting. It had been hard to resist reading those letters, but something
told him he'd better respect the privacy of Esteban and Mauricio. Javier had to
work on Saturday nights, during the only time that Esteban could visit
Mauricio, so by the time Javier got home, all that was left behind was that
delicious smell, and his happy husband. Because nothing made Mauricio happier
than spending time with his old friend; although, there were occasions when he
had been sad, and melancholy after one of Esteban's visits too.

The more Javier thought about Esteban, the more intrigued
Javier felt. Even so, he'd hesitated to call him again. Every time they spoke,
Esteban had said to call him if Javier needed anything, but being the educated
person he was, it was probably a formality.

It had taken only ten minutes to be ready, during which
Javier got together essential clothes, his meds, his favorite musical instruments,
which were the ones Mauricio bought for him, and the briefcase with Esteban's
letters. His father wasn't home, so he told his mother he was going to Jersey
to visit his brother-in-law. She seemed concerned, but relieved at the same
time.

Javier was so anxious to leave that he waited outside.

An expensive car arrived, parked a few meters from where he
stood, and two men got out. Both walked toward Javier, side by side—tall, dark
and good-looking. A familiar resemblance announced to the world they must be
related, but at the same time, a closer look showed how different they were.
Javier felt grateful for the seconds that would take him to reach the pair,
because it would give him enough time to disguise his surprise at one of them
being a priest.

A part of him felt disappointed, hoping, almost praying that
the one using the Roman collar was not Esteban, but the other man's body
language didn't match that educated voice he'd fallen for over the phone.
Whoever he was, this one walked like a predator, slow, sensual, and with a
movement of hips that announced to the world the amazing lover he could be.
Indeed, he strode forward subtly pushing his groin as if it were a badge of
sorts. Never his type, this kind of blatant sexuality had always scared Javier.

Not that he wanted to find a new lover, even though Mauricio
had begged him to go out and start a new life. As if that were easy with his
current condition. On the other hand, the fact that he analyzed these men as
possible partners could mean his dormant libido was awakening.

Once they stood in front of him, he confirmed a resemblance
so strong that Javier wondered if they were twins.

That voice that could get him warm and fuzzy in a naughty way,
addressed him while a firm handshake took possession of his right hand.

"Javier, right? It's so nice to meet you."

So, that settled it, Esteban was the priest. Welcome to
purgatory, Javier.

There was no use denying it, he had developed a crush on Esteban
during these weeks while they spoke over the phone, and now, said crush had
been crushed, pun intended. The man was a Catholic priest for God's sake.

For the first time in months, Javier noticed another man's
body, along with that smile and those amazing eyes.

Too bad, Esteban not only was HIV negative, but a Catholic
priest. Javier summed up to himself hoping the news sank once and for all,
while he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"You don't look Hispanic at all."

Esteban smiled. "But I'm Latin, one hundred per cent,
my family came from Italy and Spain."

Javier returned the smile. "My grandparents came from
Andalusia, Spain."

"Interesting, mine are from Asturias."

This time Javier briefly looked Esteban up and down again.

Asturias, that explained it all, the height, the light eyes,
and the temperament. In that moment, the other man at his side told Esteban,
"You forgot the twice Italian part."

Esteban turned to him. "This is my brother Raul
Hidalgo. Raul, this is Javier Lozano, a friend of Mauricio who kindly took care
of something Mauricio left for me. And who is coming with us to New
Jersey."

A friend? Javier wondered if he should correct him and
explain that he was actually Mauricio's widower, but the way Esteban placed his
arm over his shoulder made him hesitate. "Yes, we're having a mini
Mauricio's friends' reunion."

What? Before Javier could grasp the situation, he
automatically extended his hand to shake Raul's, but saw that Raul was frowning
at him.

"Great. A friend of Mauricio is a friend of mine too.
Aren't you kind of young to be his friend?"

What kind of question was that? Javier felt like saying, no,
I was old enough to be his husband. Why had Mauricio never mentioned Raul? Why
was Esteban trying to hide his real relation with Mauricio?

Esteban teased his brother. "Raul, what manners are
those? Age is no limit for friendship. But if you need an explanation, Mauricio
was Javier's instructor."

Well, Mauricio taught him a lot, although not exactly music.
Javier thought to himself.

Raul looked surprised. "Oh, you're a musician
too?"

Javier nodded. "Yes, a violinist."

"I see."

Whatever that was it seemed to be between the lines and
blurred to Javier, who didn't understand a thing. Suddenly, Raul appeared to
make up his mind because he smiled wide and said, "Cool. I hope you stay
around long enough to meet the most interesting parts of Hoboken, and of
course, our big family. Let's go."

As he sat in the back seat of Raul's car, Javier tried to
relax, but it was impossible. He still wondered why Esteban didn't tell Raul
about his real relationship with Mauricio; although Javier had a good idea,
because in the last year of his life, Mauricio had reunited with every person
who had ever been important to him, including his family of course. To Javier's
annoyance, after apologizing in advance, Mauricio insisted on Javier being
introduced only as his roommate to everybody in his family and his friends.

The only exceptions were his brother Diego, and of course,
Esteban, who Javier had never met until today.

Javier agreed because at that point, he didn't argue with
Mauricio anymore, although it still hurt. They were among the first same sex
couples to be married in New York, but his husband wanted to hide him from
everyone he cared about, by saying he was only his roommate, at most his
friend.

It didn't make any sense to Javier that only their Manhattan
acquaintances who shared a similar lifestyle knew about their union. He'd married
a stranger, because until that moment, Javier ignored the fact that Mauricio
was so closeted; living a life for his Manhattan friends and another for his
family in Jersey.

Many years ago, Javier had come out to his family. Being
formed by mostly artists, everybody understood, but he knew that his parents
were disappointed. They had plans for him, big ones, and somehow his sexual
preference seemed to stand in the way. Javier could not understand why who he
preferred to sleep with could affect his possible future as a concertmaster.
Until then, he thought all he needed were the right instructions and countless
hours of practice. They obviously had foreseen the future in a way that only
parents sometimes might fear.

So, Raul should be someone that belonged to the close, but
not trusted, Mauricio's friends and family club.

His eyes met Raul's a couple of times via the rearview
mirror, and it was obvious the other man felt curious about him. This didn't
bother Javier, because he could perceive that curiosity as nonsexual. In the
past, getting that sort of attention from men that looked like Raul worried
him, because it had forecasted unwanted sexual attention that Javier had dodged
eventually, at the cost of any possible friendship.

From the passenger seat Esteban half turned in Javier's
direction. "How is your music going? Are you practicing again?"

His voice sounded even better in person. It was gentle,
caring, and softly spoken, but also masculine. It flowed over the senses like a
caress.

"Yes. The only good thing about moving back with my
family has been the chance to practice music again."

He had told Esteban how he could not play like he had in the
past. Something was missing from Javier's performances. His heart was the
missing element, according to his father's assessment. Javier needed to
practice more hours. Therefore, Javier had done so, but no amount of practice
could return his will to live, and the passion that had slowly died along with
Mauricio.

"Do you have any plans for the near future?"

Getting that question from anybody else would have bothered
him, but somehow Javier answered honestly and easily.

"No. I keep practicing, but I'm not ready to work as an
orchestral musician again."

"When you feel ready, I'm sure Diego can help you, he
has contacts from his time as a concertmaster."

"He isn't playing anymore?"

"Not often, only for special events like fundraising
for charities. You might also find work with him too."

"Work? With Diego?"

Before Esteban could say more, Raul intervened. "Are you
sure, Esteban? I don't think Diego is good company for someone like
Javier."

Raul's voice was similar to his brother's, but there was no
tenderness in it, and his Jersey accent was deeper. Still, in spite of finding
him somewhat aggressive, Javier liked the guy.

Esteban surprised Javier when he said almost between teeth.
"Save it, Raul. Let Javier decide for himself."

"By the time he meets the real Diego it could be too
late," Raul warned.

"Too late for what?" Esteban asked.

"He could end up perverted by Diego," Raul fumed.

"Raul!"

For a second Javier thought he didn't hear right, but
Esteban's expression proved the contrary. He breathed deeply and turned to face
Javier. "Don't pay attention Javier, because Raul and Diego hate each
other. You will hear a similar version from Diego about Raul's
immorality."

Before Javier could say anything, a cell phone rang. It was
Raul's mobile, which was docked in the dashboard mount. He answered it in what
sounded to Javier like Italian, but he spoke so fast it could have been
Spanish. Both languages sounded similar to him. His parents always spoke
English, so his Spanish was very limited and his Italian consisted mostly of
musical terms. He distinguished the word speakerphone and Esteban saying.

"Hi, Mom. I'm okay. Listen, we're in Raul's car, and
like he said, you're on the speaker, and we have a friend with us, so be polite
and speak English."

A female voice asked, "A friend? What kind of friend? A
girl?"

"No, Mom. A man. Actually, he used to be Mauricio's
roommate. He's coming with us to visit Diego."

"Oh, I know who he is. I met him once. Hey! This is
Doña Vibi!"

Of course, Javier remembered her. She had come with Diego
one day to visit Mauricio, but Javier didn't remember anybody saying she was
Esteban's mother. Mauricio had introduced her as his godmother, and explained
to Javier that don or doña meant different things in Spanish than Italian. The
term in front of an elder's name meant respect.

"Hello, Doña Vibi, this is Javier Lozano."

"Yeah, Javier, how are you doing, handsome?"

Jesus! Yes, that was Doña Vibi. The woman had been impressed
by the way he looked, and said it very clearly, not in a lustful way though.
She seemed to be the kind of person who simply expressed her mind, and was
affable to everyone. Esteban came to his rescue.

"Mom, you're embarrassing Javier."

"Oh, I'm sorry, but he's cute, you know."

After that, Esteban whispered to Javier. "I didn't know
you met my mom."

He answered in the same tone. "Yeah, she visited
Mauricio once."

She heard that in spite of the whispering.

"Oh, my poor Mauricio, I miss him so much."

"We all miss him, Mom."

Esteban had said that patiently, but Javier felt his own
pain coming back at once. She added, "Javier, Mauricio was my godson, you
know?"

"Yes, I know, he told me when you were coming
over."

Esteban interrupted her, "Mom, we can talk about this
when we get there."

"Oh, Esteban, you can't come over."

"Why not?"

"Your cousin Antolin said the town is full of
journalists asking about you."

"Fuck!"

Raul blurted as soon as she talked, so she asked more
quietly, in a tone that reminded Javier of Esteban's.

"That was Raul, right?"

The culprit sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Mom. What else
can I say in a situation like this, eh?"

She ignored him and asked, "Esteban, what happened? Why
are these people so interested in you?"

"Mom, I'm leaving the church, that's what happened, and
I'm no longer working with the case I was."

"I'm glad you're not involved in that awful matter. Oh,
Esteban. You're quitting the church?"

"Yes. Don't tell Dad until I can talk to him."

"Too late, I am listening too." A deep male voice
said on the other side.

"Damn!"

"That was Esteban!" Raul announced and Javier held
a grin.

Esteban was leaving the priesthood. That was all Javier
cared about in that moment, he refused to question why he liked the news so
much.

"Dad, this time nothing is going to stop me."

"We'll see about that. Like your mother said, you can't
come home right now."

Esteban replied to his father, "Maybe if we get in via
Jersey City, I can make it to Diego's house without being seen."

Doña Vibi informed them, "Esteban, Diego is in South
Jersey with Camila. Do you have your set of keys from Diego's house?"

"No, Mom, I left them inside Diego's house, because I
only need them if I'm in Jersey. Let me think what's I'm going to do, I'll call
you back."

She quickly added, "Esteban, I'm so glad you're leaving
the church. I don't care if they blame me."

Their father voice was heard over hers, "Valeria! How
could you say such a thing?"

"Sergio, they're going to blame his Italian blood as
usual, so what? He's twice Italian, and we better deal with it."

"Mujer!"

Javier knew that meant woman, and it had been a clear
warning of some sort. Esteban seemed alarmed. "Please don't fight over
this because it is a personal decision, so there is nothing any of you can do.
Dad, Mom has nothing to do with it. And forget all that stupid argument about
Italian blood. We all descend from Romans."

"I know, but your grandma won't listen. Esteban, call
us later, and don't worry, I'll keep them from killing each other."

"Thanks, Dad. Mom, don't fight with grandma,
please."

The silence that followed promised that nothing would stop
that fight, still, Doña Vibi ended the call saying, "Va bene."

"I hope so, Mom, that everything will be all
right," Esteban agreed.

Raul let a deep breath escape and said, "I found it
strange there was no press outside of the archdiocese when we left, but I never
imagined they would dare to hunt you down at home."

Esteban combed his short hair with a hand. "Me neither.
My hope is that once the trial starts, they forget about me."

"Yes, they probably will. For now you can stay with
me." He looked at Javier in the back seat through the rearview mirror and
added, "You're welcome to stay as well, Javier, my place is big
enough."

For some reason Javier would never know, he answered,
"Thanks, but before I accept, you should know I'm HIV positive."

Raul frowned, glanced at Esteban and back to the mirror
before he shrugged and affirmed.

"So what? I'm not having sex with you."

"Well, there are some people who don't feel comfortable
sharing their space with people who have the virus."

"Ignorant people! Everybody knows how the thing is
passed from one person to another, right?"

In that moment, Javier noticed that Esteban had turned to
look at him as much as the seatbelt allowed.

"Javier, you don't need to disclose your status to
anybody unless you're planning to be intimate with that person."

"Really? I thought I should tell people."

"Well, it's up to you, but I think it's better if you
wait until you know the person better, and this goes for any possible employer
as well. I don't think you're a risk if the contact is casual."

Javier nodded, feeling like a kid. He wished that explaining
his experience with his family was possible, but out of loyalty for them, he
didn't want to tell about the way he'd been treated. He felt grateful when Raul
changed the subject.

"Listen, guys, I want to cross the river before the
rush hour hits us, so I'm taking the Holland Tunnel right now, but instead of
going to Hoboken, I'm heading for Jersey City. We can stop at the Exchange
Place mall and get something to eat, while deciding what's next."

Esteban nodded. "It sounds like a plan. I'm going to
see if I can get Diego on the phone."

Raul took his eyes from the road for a second, turning to
look at his brother, and Esteban questioned him, "What?"

Raul shook his head putting his attention back on the
highway.

Again, Javier wondered about Esteban's relation with Diego.
His brother-in-law never mentioned having anything but friendship with Esteban,
of course, with him being a priest and all even if there was something more
Diego wouldn't confide to him. Mauricio never said anything either, but Esteban
mentioned Diego's home and Doña Vibi asked if Esteban had his keys, obviously
to Diego's home.

Javier wanted to ask so many questions, but he didn't dare.

Then Raul said, "Esteban, this might be for the best,
because the last place you want to be is where the whole family is going to
gather to discuss your tragedy."

"What tragedy?"

Raul drawled with mockery.

"You're quitting the church, that is a tragedy for the
Hidalgo family in case you haven't realized it yet."

Esteban sighed, his shoulders sinking in the car seat.
"I hope they don't blame Mom."

"It's inevitable. They blamed her when I divorced, when
Tina divorced, and now, you're quitting the church. It must be the Italian
blood."

"Sure, the twice Italian thing!"

To Javier's surprise they both laughed.

This time he had to ask, "Excuse me, but what is all
that about Italian blood?"

Raul, still laughing, told Javier, "Esteban explains it
better."

He said, "Well, it's a family joke, I don't know if you
will get it, but I'll summarize it for you since you asked."

"Please. I really want to know, especially if I'm going
to be around here."

He wasn't sure if it was his imagination, but Esteban stared
at him for a few seconds before explaining.

"Okay. My family is very traditional, we can trace our
ancestors to the time Spain was still the Iberia Peninsula and ruled by the
Ottoman Empire. By the way, Asturias was the only part of the Peninsula the
moors never conquered."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Yes, that can give you an idea of how stubborn
Asturians are. Anyway, the Hidalgos emigrated all over the world, some moved to
the States, but continued to marry brides imported from Spain. Except one
Italian bride that joined the family around 1840, and everything bad any Hidalgo
has done afterward has been blamed on this Italian blood addition to the
family. More recently, my father met my mother, who is also Italian, and my
family opposed their marriage, but they got married anyway. And there you have
it, the twice Italian thing."