A Texas Holiday Miracle (6 page)

“I’m sorry about your father,” he found himself saying. “I didn’t know him all that well, but he was a good neighbor.”

She sat in the chair. “Yes, my father was an exceptional man. I miss him every day, and I’m so afraid of doing all the wrong things with Emma.”

“She seems well-adjusted and happy.”

“I’m sorry she bothers you so much, but she loves Pepper. I’ve been thinking about getting her a dog.”

He was supposed to say something here, but he wasn’t sure what it was. The kid did bother him and he really did want to be alone. But he didn’t voice his real feelings, because for the first time in two years he felt someone else’s pain, and it blindsided him. Maybe into reality. Maybe into accepting that he had to go on. That was his only choice, and it came from a woman who knew about grief.

All of a sudden he didn’t want to get rid of her. He wanted to keep talking. But what would that accomplish? He had to make her see that he didn’t need her. Or anyone.

Chapter Six

Gabe got to his feet. “Pepper doesn’t need a babysitter. She’ll lay out here and enjoy the fresh air. I have to finish the box, but I’ll check on her every now and then.” He looked directly at Lacey. “And I’m sure you have things to do at your own house.”

“Actually, I have laundry waiting for me.” Lacey stood and faced him, even though it was like facing a towering inferno of attitude that was leveled right at her. “I’ll go on one condition.”

“I don’t do conditions.”

She ignored the warning in his voice. “I’ll go if you come and eat a sandwich with me at lunch.”

“I don’t eat at a set time. I eat when I get hungry and I never watch the clock.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “Today at twelve.”

His eyes darkened. “Listen...hell. I don’t even remember your name.”

“It’s Lacey,” she replied with as much patience as she could find.

“Lacey,” he said with a husky growl that seemed to come from somewhere deep within him. “I am not coming to your house for lunch at twelve or ever.”

She sat back down.

“What are you doing?”

“If you’re not coming, then I’ll just stay here. I have the whole day free. Isn’t that nice?”

By the narrowing of his eyes it was clear he considered it anything but nice. He threw up his hands. “Okay, okay. I’ll come over at noon. Now will you please leave?”

Once again she stood, her eyes catching his. “Since you asked so politely, I’ll go. See you at noon.” She turned and walked toward the gate, forcing herself not to look back at the scowl on his face. But there was a moment of victory in her heart. She’d won this round.

She went inside and sat at the kitchen table. All those creepy-crawly doubts niggled her. What was she doing? She was trying to help someone else when some days she was barely holding it together herself. But there was no one else to help Gabe. She remembered those days after her dad had passed, the horrible sadness, the debilitating pain and trying to hold it all together for Emma. They’d come a long way in five months, but occasionally they needed a helping hand, and the people of Horseshoe had been very kind to them. And she had to be kind to Gabe. It was that simple for her.

She stripped the beds and put the sheets in the washing machine. All the while she was thinking she should fix something appetizing for lunch. Since her culinary skills were limited, she called Angie.

She came straight to the point. “I need help with a cooking problem.”

“Okay. I need details.”

“I have ham and cheese. How do I make that into something special in a sandwich?”

“Grill it in a frying pan like a grilled cheese. Use butter.” Angie went through the process step by step, and Lacey wrote it down. “Serve with a pickle, chips and beverage of your choice, and you have an appetizing lunch.”

“Thank you. This sounds simple—so simple I think I can accomplish it.”

Angie laughed. “Call if you run into a problem.”

Lacey hung up and went to work. By noon she had the sandwiches on a plate without a burn mark on them. She added cherry tomatoes, a pickle and chips, then waited for Gabe. At five minutes after twelve she had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t coming. With her back to the stove, she tapped her foot, counting off the minutes on the coffee mug–shaped wall clock. When the big hand hit the quarter hour, she marched to the door.

She yanked it open and jumped back. Gabe stood with his hand in the air, getting ready to knock.

His perpetual scowl was firmly in place. “I told you I don’t watch a clock. I was washing my hands in the kitchen when I noticed the time, so I came without changing clothes because I knew you would be storming over if I didn’t.”

Sawdust coated his jeans and a brown stain marred his T-shirt. She wanted to laugh. She’d made an impression. Even though he might not admit it, he didn’t want to upset her. He was thinking about other people, and that was good.

She stepped aside and opened the door wider, letting his remarks fade away. “Are you still working on the box?” she asked just to make conversation.

Before coming in, he brushed the sawdust from his jeans. “I finished sanding it and stained it. It’s ready.”

She motioned toward a chair. “Have a seat and I’ll bring our lunch. Would you rather have coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, black, but I’m really not hungry.”

He was eating if she had to force it down him. She had to suppress another laugh at the thought. Carrying the plates to the table, she noticed he’d taken a seat. At least they wouldn’t have to argue about that. She hurried back with the coffee and tea and sat down.

“It’s grilled ham and cheese,” she said as she picked up her sandwich.

“It looks tasty, but...”

“It is, and for the record, my cooking skills are limited, so it’s best to take what you’re given here.”

He took a sip of his coffee, his big hand engulfing the white cup. “How many fire alarms have you gone through?”

She held up one finger. “I just put them back up and they keep working.”

He shook his head and the scowl on his face lessened. “I hear it regularly.”

“I’m working on changing that.” She nibbled on a pickle. “I had a busy life in Austin and rarely had time to develop any culinary skills.” She resisted the urge to wink.

“What did you do in Austin?”

He was asking questions. That was good. She didn’t know if he was doing so out of curiosity or boredom, but she’d take either. “I worked for a big party-planning company. The holidays are the busiest time of the year.”

He picked up his sandwich and took a bite. “You planned parties?”

“Yes, big extravagant parties. For banks, large companies, law firms, weddings and people who wanted to make an impression. We did a lot of private parties in lavish homes.”

“Isn’t there food involved?”

“We hired caterers for different parties. Janine is the woman who runs the company, and I was her personal assistant. It was a fun job and I met a lot of people—nice people. I miss that part of my life.”

While she’d been talking, he’d eaten the whole sandwich, probably without even realizing it. His cup was empty, so she got up to refill it.

“People just call you and tell you what they want and you do the rest?”

“That’s about it.”

“I worked...” His voice trailed off.

She resumed her seat. “Where did you work?”

“Doesn’t matter.” He clammed up, apparently realizing he was getting into personal territory.

“Dad said you were a lawyer.”

Gabe studied the coffee in the cup. “A lifetime ago.” He glanced toward the living room. From his chair he could see the undecorated Christmas tree. “You haven’t done anything with the tree?”

“No. That’s another problem. Emma doesn’t want to decorate the tree.”

“Why not? Kids love that kind of stuff.”

Lacey pushed the chips around on her plate. “One of the Wilson kids down the street told her there isn’t a Santa Claus, and now she doesn’t believe and doesn’t want to have Christmas.”

“A kid her age should believe, and no one should take that from her.”

“I agree. Kids grow up much faster these days, but I’m not giving up. I’m working on changing her mind. Did Zack like Christmas?”

Gabe stood up suddenly. “I’ve got to go.”

She’d crossed a line, but she couldn’t take the words back. She followed him.

At the door, he said, “You don’t have to fuss over me. I’m fine.”

“Well, you’ll excuse me if I believe otherwise.”

“You don’t know me and I don’t know you. I wish we had kept it that way.”

“But we’re neighbors and see each other every day. We can at least be civil.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I just want my peace. That’s all.”

“For today and tomorrow you’ll have to put up with Emma and me. I promised her she could see Pepper this afternoon, and you’re not going back on your word.”

His eyes narrowed on her face, and her bravado faltered for a second. “You’re very pushy, do you know that?”

“No. I’m usually a very agreeable person and easy to get along with.”

He rubbed his hands together and looked at them, as if he was gauging his next words. But then he turned toward the door. “I have to go.”

“Gabe, it really would help to talk about your son. I know you don’t believe that, but it would. Earlier, when you spoke about my dad, it gave me a warm feeling, and if you talked about Zack it would help you.”

His eyes caught hers. Once again she saw all that anguish etched across the strong lines of his face. Her breath stalled.

“I can’t. Please understand that.”

She wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him, comfort him in some way, but she knew that was the last thing he wanted from her.

“Gabe...”

He walked out the door.

Lacey let out a long breath and then closed the door. Gabe had taken a step forward, but now he’d taken several backward, and he still had tomorrow to get through. He wouldn’t be alone, though.

* * *

P
EPPER
WAS
ASLEEP
and seemed peaceful, so Gabe went to the garage to see if the varnish on the box had dried. It hadn’t. He sat on a stool and tried to collect his thoughts, tried to find reason and sanity in all the misery that clouded his mind.

It really would help to talk about your son.

How could she say that? She didn’t know. He jammed both hands through his hair. Talking about Zack would tear out his heart. But then, his heart had already been destroyed. Maybe she was right. Maybe. But he still held on to every memory of his son and he held them close to his heart where no one else could ever touch them. Tomorrow, though, he would let go because it was the right thing to do. And, God help him, he couldn’t do it alone.

He wasn’t quite sure why it was hard to admit that, but Lacey knew. She saw right through him and she still kept pushing him even when he resisted her efforts. She was a very strong lady, and he really should be grateful she was willing to help him.

He got up. What did he care? After tomorrow, he would sink into that oblivion of complete pain, and there was no way to stop it. Not unless he reached out a hand for someone to save him. In that moment he saw her green eyes, and he shoved the image away. He didn’t want to be saved. But a part of him was fighting back. A part of him was remembering what life was about. A part of him was waiting for the light to completely engulf him. If that were possible... For the first time he realized he was still living, and it was up to him to keep fighting for that light. That right.

* * *

L
ACEY
PICKED
UP
Emma and they headed home. “Do you want to stop for hot chocolate and a kolach?” Emma loved the pastry brimming with different fruit mixtures in the center.

“No, Lacey. We have to go home.”

Lacey knew better than to ask. Emma had her mind set on one thing—Pepper. As soon as Lacey parked in the driveway, Emma jumped out of the car and ran for the front door.

Before she opened it, Lacey said, “Remember, we talked. We’re going over to Gabe’s and you can stay for a little while, but then you have to come home because Gabe wants his privacy. Understand?”

Emma bobbed her head. She shot through the house like a bullet, throwing her backpack at the sofa. Lacey followed slowly.

When she reached Gabe’s deck, Emma was sitting by Pepper, lovingly cuddling her. Gabe sat in his chair, watching. He’d changed clothes—that was the first thing Lacey noticed. The box must have been finished. She could only imagine how much pain it had caused him to make it. But then again, it might have been cathartic. She never knew with Gabe.

“Pepper’s real sick, Mr. Gabe,” Emma said.

“Yes, she is,” he replied, surprising Lacey. She had expected him to remain silent.

Emma kissed the dog and then walked to Gabe. “The doctor’s gonna make Pepper’s pain go away?”

Gabe visibly swallowed. “Yes.”

Emma crawled into the other chair and no one spoke, just like the other day. Lacey went back to her house and let Emma have this time with Pepper and Gabe. Emma was attuned to Gabe’s pain, as was Lacey. She just wished he would let them in.

Later, Emma came back.

“Did you have a good visit?”

“Yes, but it’s getting colder, and Mr. Gabe said I should probably go home.”

“And you have homework to do.”

“Yeah.” Emma sat at the kitchen table.

Lacey was making dinner, but she caught her sister’s somber tone and wondered if Gabe had said something to her. Lacey wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked to the table.

“Did you and Gabe talk?”

Emma shook her head. “I just helped him be sad.”

“What?” Lacey was thrown by the answer.

“Gabe is sad and doesn’t want to talk, so I don’t talk, either. I just help him be sad.”

Lacey reached over and hugged Emma. “You’re getting so grown up. I’m proud of you.”

Emma wiggled away as if the compliment had embarrassed her. “What’s for supper? Are we going to the diner?”

“I’m making hot dogs. It’s all we have. I have to go to the grocery store soon.”

“It’s okay. I’m not too hungry.”

A sense of sadness lingered in the room. They ate supper in silence. Then Lacey had an idea. “I’m going to make Gabe a hot dog and take it to him. Get your books and start on your homework.”

She left Emma at the table working on math. It was dusk, and a yellow glow had settled over the neighborhood. The air was brisk. By morning the temperature probably would be freezing. Traffic sounds softly echoed, and a dog barked in the distance.

Gabe sat on the deck as usual, and Pepper was in her bed. Going up the steps, Lacey said, “I brought you supper.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said. “And it’s not your job to feed me.”

She let his sharp words flow over her and took a seat in the other chair with the food in her lap. “We had hot dogs, so I brought you two with a thermos of coffee. And Oreos. Everybody loves Oreos.”

“I’m not everybody.”

“Okay, we’ve established that.” She handed him a hot dog wrapped in aluminum foil. He stared at it for a full thirty seconds before he took it. Unwrapping it, he took a big bite and then another.