Addicted to Witch (11 page)

Auden couldn’t stop staring at her. He’d been holding back, remaining within the last bounds of the spell. If he stayed enchanted, then he couldn’t be disappointed, he couldn’t be hurt. It was safer than to trust everything to her. Until he heard her words, every single last one. That’s when the binding of the spell snapped—melted away in the blinding heat of pure love until he was himself again. Then he’d watched Romely thrown out of his grounds by his innocent-looking Helena. It was difficult to comprehend that he’d exchanged one witch for another.

Helena stood shivering in her dress, the wet material clinging like skin. “We probably need to talk, don’t we?”

He bent and gathered the shredded remains of his clothing. “About you being able to throw people around with your mind, what you did to your aunt and that witch doctor, or me changing into a lion?”

Her teeth chattered. “All of the above, I think. I thought you couldn’t remember things when you weren’t yourself?”

“Spell’s broken,” he said simply. “Right. You’re a witch, I was a lion; we’re just missing a fucking wardrobe.”

She burst into laughter and offered her hand to him. “Can I go inside and warm up please?”

He took her hand and they walked in silence back to his house. What could he say? He mentally felt around for remnants of Romely’s spell and felt nothing but his love for Helena. She’d freed him completely. It was unreal. He’d wanted to be released so badly maybe he was in a catatonic state, imagining all this.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, as they padded to the nearest bathroom.

She felt for her cheek. “Nearly, but I’m okay. I promise.”

He gently removed the dress from her body and took a towel from the heated cupboard. Drying her carefully, he said, “Thank you.”

“I’d have thrown her further if I’d concentrated a bit more.”

He grinned. “I mean for loving me.” Her eyes rounded in part surprise and part shock. “Come on Hells, this wouldn’t happen unless you do. Love me.”

Her mouth opened and shut, before she found her voice. “Well, I just—” He lifted a brow as she danced verbally around her feelings. “You’re lovely so I was—” The other brow joined in the what-the-fuck contest. She gave a sigh of defeat. “Couldn’t really help it. I just didn’t want to say it out loud because we have spent a nanosecond together.”

“Doesn’t matter. You do.” He wrapped a dry towel around her hair and a huge bath sheet around her body. They sat in the living room, knowing there was a world of things to talk about and no idea where to start. “What did Romely mean about you belonging to her since you were ten?”

Christ, the worst thing to start with. “It’s not something I’m particularly proud of.”

“Tell me.”

“Don’t you already know?”

“Why would I?” She folded the towel beneath her thighs. He sat next to her and curled an arm around her waist.

“People like us don’t necessarily have to say things to communicate a history.”

“That’s not talking,” Helena frowned with disapproval. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth between her brows, feeling the fold of skin melt beneath his lips.

“It was the worst event of my life and Romely took advantage of that. In some ways, I probably encouraged her feeling that I was beholden to her, because of what happened. That I owed her. If I had gone straight home or told my mother what was going on…” He breathed out. “I tell Charlie all the time, I made one decision and everything went wrong from there.”

“You can talk to me,” Helena insisted. “Please trust me.”

He pressed his stubbled jaw into her shoulder, following with his mouth. “I can do this better if I’m touching you.”

“Do it.”

“I was a little chunky monkey at school,” he started slowly.

“So you grew into your looks. I think you’re okay with that now.” Her sarcasm made him grin.

“Not for years. Maybe I can show you.” He took her hand. “Close your eyes. Breathe with me.”

Her lashes fluttered closed and suddenly every single sound came into focus. “Is there a dog nearby?” she asked.

“Not for a few miles.”

She would be hearing everything in a ten mile radius as her senses sharpened, he knew from his own experiences. Behind her lids, colours would be flashing green. With Helena following his memory path, he directed her into the mind of himself at ten. Barely ten by a single day. When Helena opened her eyes, he could see she was standing in front of a mirror. Her face was a pallid white. Round eyes, startling violet, silvery blonde hair falling into her eyes.
Oh my Lord, I’m you!

It’s just an echo of a memory
, Auden told her gently
. Follow along.

Young Auden tucked his bag onto his shoulder before he called goodbye to his mother. A paper airplane that looked like a Boeing Jet landed in his palm.
Have a magical day, love. Mum.

Smiling, he carried the airplane into the car that dropped him at school. As he passed through the gates, Helena shared his tension, and the fear that shook his rounded little belly when three taller boys passed. Living through the memory of another was intense, almost like being that person at the time, sharing their exact emotion as it happened.

“All right, Michelin Man. Got some tyres for us?”

Young Auden battled whether to call out to them or not. And he did. “Get stuffed!”

The three boys all looked at each other and then at Auden before falling into gales of laughter. “Pathetic,” the boy in the middle sneered. “Wait ‘til after school. You’ll see.”

He knew Helena felt the weight of his youthful terror of what that promise would hold.
I had to walk home after school
, Auden told her, his tone empty of emotion. He knew from past experience that it was easier to talk about it that way, without feeling it again.
It was my mum’s effort to make me exercise more.

He felt her heart sink in pity
. Didn’t you call anyone?

Wouldn’t have made a difference. Watch.

He sensed her reluctance to see more, but she soon would understand why Romely had been so obsessed.
I feel sick, Auden.

Just watch, Hells, it’ll be over soon.

When the school bell rang for the end of the day, little Auden disappeared into the throng of parents collecting their children, and took a route through the forest instead. He didn’t run for very far, his lungs fit to bursting with the strain. There was a small, pretty bridge over a trickling stream. Feeling relieved and a little smug that he had avoided the confrontation, he started to cross. He glanced up and his heart froze in fear. The same three boys were standing on the other side.

“You’re fat, you little prick, not fast.”

Auden started to take steps backward, his mouth open with silent words of pleading.

“Not so brave now, are you?”

“Leave me alone!” he cried at them, before bursting into tears. The boys laughed.

“Look at him!”

“Is it worth it?” one of the boys asked the leader.

One on the right is Tommy Jones. The one on the left is Andrew Jeffries. The one in the middle, top dog, is Philip Lancaster. Funny, he’s an estate agent now. Has two kids. Tries to add me on all sorts of social networking sites. Even now.

“Yeah, why not?” Phillip shrugged, before they grabbed him. Tommy and Andrew held him still while Phillip rammed his foot into Auden’s soft stomach over and over again. “Why are you so fat, you little shit? Can you even feel this?”

Auden couldn’t scream, his solar plexus burning with pain. Helena started to cry.
I don’t want to see any more.

You need to understand, love, I’m sorry.

Phillip removed his school tie and ordered the others to remove theirs. “Let’s make him a dunking biscuit.”

Helena gave the scream that little Auden couldn’t as Phillip tied the material together then looped it around Auden’s throat.

“Pick him up and get him over the side.”

“No!” Helena yelled. Her command was futile.

This has already happened.
He reminded her.
It’s my past.

No it’s not just your past. It’s everything else that happens from now on, isn’t it?

You’ll understand in a minute.

The three boys pitched Auden over the side of the bridge, holding onto the looped ties, laughing as Auden’s legs thrashed. Her vision clouded over just as his throat clamoured for a gasp of air.

“Still feeling brave?” Phillip yelled over the edge.

“He’s so heavy.” Tommy let go of the ties.

Young Auden dropped closer to the water but he was nowhere near the stream to allow him a foothold. He was going to die.

“You’re killing him!” Helena screamed.

He wrapped his arm more tightly around her waist, his mouth pressed to the pulse in her neck.
I’m okay. I’m here.

A light passed over Young Auden’s eyes, the same light that caused Helena to blink rapidly. His palms warmed and a calm overcame him. It was not from an acceptance of death. It was a harbinger of doom for the three boys on the bridge. The world turned upside down—the three boys floating in mid-air, as if they were submerged in water. Auden took the tie from around his neck and climbed onto the bridge, walking an invisible staircase to solid ground. He stood, looking up at them, struggling to escape the feeling of drowning, burial beneath water until they started to lose their battle with death. Young Auden allowed them to drop to the bridge.

Helena gasped.
You did what I did.

Pretty much
. The reluctant admission pasted over years of guilt.

Phillip looked up at Young Auden, his throat raw from silent screaming. “What are you?”

“Will you leave me alone now?”

Before they could speak, a little dark haired girl with huge blue eyes ran toward them. “Don’t!”

Heaving, she looked at Young Auden. “I can help.”

“I should have let them die,” Auden replied, his voice dark and empty.

“No, let me help. I can make them forget.”

He frowned at her. “How?”

“I’m like you. Special. Just keep an eye out,” she insisted, then hovered her hands over the boys. A minute later, the three sat up.

“What happened?” Tommy asked, rubbing his eyes.

“You fell over,” the girl said simply. “You should hurry up, your mum’s probably waiting for you.”

Phillip got to his feet and helped Andrew and Tommy as well. He glanced at Young Auden and gave him a smile. “See you tomorrow, mate.”

“Bye, Auden.” They all smiled and waved at him.

As if they hadn’t spent the last three months trying to crucify me
, Auden added for Helena’s benefit. When they disappeared, Young Auden started to cry. The girl put her arms around him.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“You watched them!” he yelled suddenly, pushing her away. “You let them do that to me.”

She blinked at him with innocence. “I just wanted to see—”

“If I’d die?” he snapped.

“If you’d use your gifts,” she whispered. “You are special like me.”

“I’m not special, I’m a freak. Just leave me alone.” He picked up his bag. The girl followed him.

“No, that’s not true at all,” she insisted, running to catch up. “You’ve got magic in you. You can’t hide it, and you are amazing. You were dying and you still—oh my gosh, it was brilliant. I’m Romely.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to know. I just want to be left on my own.” He touched a trembling hand to his neck. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

Romely’s blue eyes widened with honesty. “I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me, Auden, I won’t let anyone else touch you. You’re special. Really, very, very special.”

Young Auden’s frown deepened before he turned and carried on toward his home.

Helena gave a gasp as they were released from the memory, Auden’s arm still very tight around her waist, his hold on his present, his future. Her eyes went instantly to his neck, the burn from the ties a blurred red scar. She wrapped her arms around him and gave into her tears.

“I can’t bear it,” she sobbed.

“I didn’t kill them, at least,” he sighed, rubbing Helena’s towel-clad back. He leaned away from her and dabbed her eyes with a corner of the towel. “Don’t cry any more, Hells. I’m all right.”

“No, you’re not. How could you be? Did you tell your mum?”

“She knew the minute I came home, but she also knew that the boys’ parents had no idea. She went back and forth for ages and decided against pulling me out of the school. Once I started secondary school, I got taller and understandably angrier. Other kids tended to keep out of my way. The ones who didn’t were riding on my parents’ coat tails, more so when I won the
Ivor Novello
award.”

“And that little girl grew up to be Dr. Romely Deans?”

“The very same little girl who took their memories of my almost killing them? Yes. When she said she wouldn’t let anyone else touch me, she wasn’t joking. First, she started by sending flowers to my mum’s house, then managed to hound Terry, my manager, into getting a contact detail for me and from there. She refused to take no for an answer.”

“Knowing exactly what happened to you, why cast that curse?”

“No one knows you like I do,” he intoned. “We’re the same. We belong together.”

Helena paused, her frown reappearing. “Auden, how long have you been like this?”

“Seven years.”

Helena’s jaw dropped. “What?”

He touched a finger to her chin, closing her mouth. “Yeah, I was about twenty-seven when I went on that post Brit Awards bender with Duran Duran. Don’t ask why, there were a lot of drugs involved. So Romely helpfully had me diagnosed with a condition she could monitor for life.”

“But it’s not true!”

“I have mental health issues, according to my friendly neighbourhood doctor. She can keep me on a leash forever. The whole ‘you’re under a spell, therefore you can’t talk about it’ business put a dampener on anyone helping me earlier.”

“But you’re talking to me.”

He looked at her. “You know why I can. Because of you.”