An Unexpected Widow (The Colorado Brides Series) (14 page)

“I’ll think about it. I don’t usually come to town midweek.”

“It starts at seven. Please come, Hannah. You’ll have a good time, and you might even find someone who interests you.”

“Maybe.” I held a drawstring purse. “I must be off now. You take care of yourself.”

“I will. You too.”

As I strolled towards Nathan, he pushed himself from the hitching post, his expression neutral, but I felt a thrill as I neared. “I’m ready to go.”

“I see that.” He held my wrist, helping me onto the wagon. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, everything’s just fine.”

There must have been something in my tone, because his gaze sharpened. Maria stepped up, sitting next to me on the wooden bench. As we ambled out of town, I thought about what Sally had said. Perhaps I
should
attend the social and mingle with eligible bachelors. I had been far too quick to dismiss the possibility that I might find one of them interesting. If my mother knew I was even considering doing such a thing, she would be scandalized.

Nathan and Jerry went to work first thing Monday morning, harvesting the corn with a horse-drawn sled cutter, spending long hours in the field. The men came in for lunch and dinner and then went straight out again. Maria and I brought them water and sandwiches, watching as they picked, husked, and shelled by hand. They also had to bind the stalks into shocks for drying. It was tedious, exhausting work.

Come Wednesday, I prepared to go to town, although I hadn’t yet told Nathan about my plans. He had thrown himself into the pond, having wet his clothing through with perspiration. He’d disappeared into the bunkhouse to change, and, when he emerged, I approached him.

“I have to ask a favor.”

He looked at my bleary-eyed. “What’s that?”

“I need to go to town.”

“Now?”

“Yes. I’d go myself, but I need a revolver for safety reasons. Do you have one I could borrow?”

He shook his head. “You never go to the town this late in the day. What are you doing?”

“It’s a social.”

“What?” His hands went to his hips.

“I’ve been invited to a social. I need to meet eligible bachelors. I’ve been told I should marry…soon. Going into that parlour house ruined my reputation.”

His mouth fell open, but, first, two distinct lines appeared between his eyes. “I’ve been working since five this mornin’, getting the rest of the corn cut. I’ve been on my feet for three days, killing myself with this harvest. Now you want me to take you to town, so you can find a husband?”

“Yes.”

“What about being in mourning?”

“I am in mourning.”

“I thought you planned to do that for a full year?” His mouth twisted in displeasure.

“I would normally, but these are extenuating circumstances.”

“Really?”

“Look, you can bring a blanket and a pillow. You can have a nap while I’m at the social.”

His expression hardened. “Have a nap while you parade around flirting with strange men?”

“It sounds horrible, when you put it like that.”

He looked like he was going to say something else, but thought better of it. “Let me get my jacket. I’ll be back in a minute.” He stormed towards the bunkhouse, his boots stomping the ground.

Satisfied that my evening was going as planned, I got into the wagon, holding a thick shawl around my shoulders. The weather had begun to turn chilly at night. When Nathan came back, his face was pinched in a scowl, his posture rigid. He sat next to me, taking the reins, and, without another word, the wagon began to jerk forward. There wasn’t any conversation on this journey, as my traveling companion was in a fine mood, his look having frozen in place. I had never been to town at night; not knowing how rowdy Denver City was once the sun went down. There were miners in the streets shouting and laughing, while the saloon was ablaze with lights, as was the parlour house.

“Looks busy.”

“The “Fifty-Niners” are celebrating. I guess they found free gold. If I were feelin’ motivated, I’d join them for a spell and bring back some troy ounces.”

“Isn’t that why you came out here in the first place?”

“It was.”

“Did you ever mine?”

“I was on Pike’s Peak earlier in the year.”

“How’d you do?”

“Not so good. I have better luck gambling.”

“That’s hardly a profession for a gentleman.” He helped me down, and I met his gaze, regretting my words.

“I may not be learned like your husband was, but that don’t make me any less of a man.” He pointed a finger in my face. “If you were more of a woman, you’d know the difference.”

Chapter Fourteen

We stood on the boardwalk in front of the venue. I fumed with anger. “How dare you!”

“I’ve put up with more than enough from you now, Mrs. Clark. I’ve done nothin’ but help you in nearly every way possible, and what do I get? I get disrespected, is what I get. I’m sure tired of it.”

“I was taught that a gambler was a wastrel. I’m sorry my upbringing wasn’t the same as yours.”

“Jeesh! Just be quiet about that now. The more you say, the worse it gets.”

People walked by, their stares interested. I murmured, “We should talk about this when we get home.” It dawned on me how intimate that sounded, how inclusive.
Well, he lives at the property. Technically speaking, it’s both of our homes.

“I’ve been nothing but good to you. I’ve worked my butt off for you. I busted myself these three days getting that corn in. I get no word of thanks from you. Not one. I don’t even get paid.”

“I’ll pay you as soon as I sell the product.” I met his gaze. “I am thankful I met you. You’ve been very helpful to me. I do respect your work ethic and how kind you’ve been and things. When I was at my wits’ end, you were there for me.”

“Why are you going in there then?” He pointed into the open door, which revealed a room full of people, as lively music played and voices were raised in conversation. “What are you looking for in there?”

“A…a husband.”

He closed his eyes, as if grappling with patience. “A husband. How nice.”

“Sally said there were some well-off bachelors, and I ought to meet them.”

“Ah, yes, cause marrying someone who’s poor is on the list of what ladies shouldn’t do, right?”

“It’s not advisable.”

“Says who?”

“My mother. She’d be beside herself, if I married beneath me.”

“And if you were to marry someone like me?” His eyes gleamed with expectancy.

“She’d be unhappy.”

“She doesn’t even know me.”

“I’d have to tell her that you’re a…”

“A what?”

“A drunkard and a gambler and…you visit parlour houses.” He cursed under his breath, which was shocking. Then he grabbed my arm, hauling me towards the door. “Sir!”

“Let’s have a look at what your choices are, shall we?” He peered into the room. “See that bald man there, the one with the big gut?”

“I…yes.”

“There’s your future husband.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know that yet. I haven’t spoken to him.”

“Then that man.” His finger indicated a rotund fellow, whose face looked glossy with sweat. “There’s a catch. I’d sure rush in there and snatch ‘em up before some other lady does.” He glared at me. “You’re in for a fun night with this crowd of thoroughbreds.”

He was horribly jealous and angry. His demeanor was defensive, yet there was something vulnerable about him tonight, a weakness that I had caused. He seemed almost desperate for me not to go inside, his eyes begging me to reconsider. I found him utterly appealing in that moment, my insides turning to jelly, while I softened towards him, realizing that I was hopelessly in love with him.

“What about Pastor Bailey? He’s without a wife.”

“If you wanna marry yourself another gospel sharp, then be my guest. I’m not gonna stand out here arguing with you, Hannah. I’ll be in the saloon, having a couple of stiff drinks.” He turned to go. “Have a swell time.”

I watched him saunter down the boardwalk, his boots clopping on the wood. It felt strange to admit that I was in love with Nathan, although I hadn’t said the words out loud. He was rough and crude and obnoxious, but then I had plenty of my own faults. I’d always felt a connection to him, even before Frank had passed on, which led to a fair amount of guilt.

When he disappeared into the saloon, I entered the establishment, not really caring to meet anyone else. I’d already settled on my second husband, and I couldn't have been happier with the choice.

When the social was over, Nathan waited for me by the wagon. I had enjoyed myself, speaking with people and dancing. I’d met a lovely man by the name of Charles Washington, who had kept me company, asking if he could see me again. I had politely declined. Sally had been there as well, but she wasn’t able to speak for long, as her husband needed to go home early. He wasn’t feeling well.

“So, how’d it go?” slurred Nathan. “You find the man of your dreams in there?”

“You’re drunk.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m full as a tick.” He patted his belly.

“Oh, goodness. I’ll have to drive home.” I got into the wagon, taking the reins. “Come on. Get in.”

He stood against a wood post. “Maybe I’ll stay and visit…some ladies.”

My stomach dropped. “No, you will not. Now get in the wagon, right this minute!”

“Don’t think I’ve ever heard that tone in your voice before.” He climbed in, sitting next to me. “I kinda like it. It’s schoolmarmish, but good.”

“Hold on, Mr. Weaver.”

The horse sprang to a trot, the conveyance jerking forward. “Whoa…here we go!”

The thought of him with one of those soiled doves irritated me. My mind spun with images of him naked in bed with a woman who dyed her hair bright red. It left a sour taste in my mouth. I had little trouble driving us home, realizing that I could do this on my own, if I had to. I’d feel safer with an escort, but that was not necessary. Nathan whistled and hummed, clearly in a good mood. He shifted with the wagon, his body drifting from side to side, while his hat sat askew.

“Nice night.”

I glanced at him. “It is.” The house was up ahead; the lights were on downstairs, as Maria had left the lantern lit for my return. “I have a request of you tonight, Mr. Weaver.”

“You have to be so formal?”

“I think you should stay with me…in my room.”

His head snapped to attention. “That’s the worst idea yet.”

Knowing that he was inebriated, I had hoped he would be easily swayed. I dearly wanted to be in his arms again, as he was the best sleep medication I had ever encountered. He unhitched the horse, leading the animal to a nearby pasture. When he came back, he stared at me, his eyes slightly bloodshot.

“Good night, Hannah.”

“But, wait!” I approached him. “Can’t you…won’t you stay with me…just for tonight.”

“You’re outta your mind. I’ve had far too much to drink. My control is gone, honey. You expect me to get into bed with you and not touch you? You think I’m gonna just hold you now?”

“C-could you?”

“Hell to the no.”

“Why not?”

“I just explained myself. I’m in no condition to be coddling you, not when you press yourself against me like you do. Not tonight. Not any night, unless you marry me.”

I took his hand, pulling on him. “Please, Nathan. I won’t let you do something you’ll regret. I’m tired, and I know you’ll help me get a good night’s sleep.”

“If I touched you, I wouldn’t regret it. You got that wrong.”

“You could touch me…a little.”

Something flared in his eyes, and then I found myself in his arms, the aroma of whiskey and tobacco clinging to him. His mouth descended to mine, the kiss nearly knocking me off my feet. This wasn’t a chaste peck on the mouth, a soft, easy seduction from a patient man. The kiss was hungry, his tongue invading me, demanding my complete surrender, which I was happy to give. I leaned into him, wanting every bit of what he offered, never having been this consumed before, or this ravished. My hands rested on his shirt, moving upwards to wind around his neck, as I pressed myself to him.

“Oh, Nathan,” I breathed. “Come up with me.”

“No,” he growled, pushing me away. “Are you gonna marry me?”

“You know why I can’t marry you.”

“Then we’re done talking. Good night.”

He turned, trudging towards the bunkhouse, leaving me staring after him, while moonlight lit a bank of clouds above me. Feeling wretched, I entered the house, climbing the steps, with the weight of a ton of bricks on my shoulders. While changing, I replayed our earlier conversations and then the kiss…that extraordinary kiss. I would never be able to forget that kiss.

As I lay in bed, pulling the sheet to my chin, I stared into the darkness. It was impossible living this close to Nathan and not being in his arms. Did it matter so much that he was a miner or a farmer? Were those not noble professions? I searched my heart, seeking an answer, and it came an hour later, after I had debated back and forth all the pros and cons. None of it mattered anyhow, because I was desperately in love with him.

I nearly jumped out of bed to tell him, wanting him to know that he meant the world to me, even though he was crude and obnoxious most of the time. I relished every opportunity to argue with him. I’d never felt more alive than when I was near him. I didn’t have Frank by my side, which was something I would spend the rest of my life regretting, wishing that he had lived longer, but Ruby was correct and so was Sally. It was time to move forward…and the future looked promising.

A little after dawn, I slid from bed. I’d hardly slept at all, tossing and turning, my mind filled with a series of images: Nathan and I in a church getting married, the reception afterwards, and then…the wedding night. I never wanted to be alone in this room without him again. I longed to write to my family and tell them the news, but I had to talk to Nathan first. After, I’d arranged my hair in a simple bun, the part down the middle. A pale blue bonnet sat upon my head, and I tied the sash beneath my chin. My dress was a basic calico, nothing too special, as I would more than likely be working outside most of the day. With a deep, fortifying breath, I prepared to face Nathan.