Ascension (27 page)

Logan was in on it.  He
knew
of who she was.  Laura was sure of it.  Otherwise, why would he be here?  That simple fact threatened to drastically change everything she knew – or thought she knew – about him.  Had he planned this the whole time, from the moment he first met her? Did he lead her all this way, secretly knowing what her fate really was? 

The
Vassiz
are a corrupt and manipulative race.
  The words she had learned from Alexander kept swirling in her head.  Was she being used by him the whole time?  She couldn’t believe it – he was so different! – and yet, all these things were adding up…

Who could she trust?  There were too many secrets in all of this.  She felt like a pawn in a grand chess match.  And Selaine just calmly stood there, watching her.  The damn woman hadn’t reacted in the slightest after telling Laura the news!  Why was Logan acting like a tame kitten next to her?  Laura had never seen him so meek! 

“The prophecy,” Laura finally managed.  “Did you orchestrate everything about it?  Just to get me here?”

“Not at all,” Selaine said.  “You had to do that yourself.  But I can’t say you didn’t have any guidance.”  She glanced at Logan, then back at Laura, and winked.

Laura stared at Logan.  He
was
in on it!  It felt like her entire world was ready to collapse around her.  Everything she thought true was a lie.

“Logan,” Laura said slowly.  Deliberately.  “Tell me the truth.  What did you know?”

“He knew everything he had to and not one bit more,” Selaine put in smoothly.  “And that’s the way I—”

“No,” Laura interrupted vehemently.  “I want
him
to tell me.  No more games.  Logan: what did you know when you met me?”

“I knew you were special,” he answered stiffly.  He kept glancing at Selaine out of the corner of one eye, who stared at him disapprovingly.  “I knew – of the prophecy.  I knew I had to show you the dream realm.”

Laura’s eyes widened.  So it was all a lie!  Everything he had done for her, with her, had been an
act
to get her here!  She felt betrayed and angry at the same time.  But most of all, she felt lost.  Logan was the guiding force in her life.  Without him, none of what she was doing had any meaning.  To find out it had just been an act, to find out that what he
really
cared about was getting her here… it was a crushing blow.  A devastating loss.  Laura felt faint.  She couldn’t help but sag against the rear wall. 

Maybe it was the emotion on her face, or maybe it was the way she fell back, but in an instant, the expression on Logan’s face changed.  The act broke.  She could see him struggling to contain himself.  And then something got the better of him.  Shooting a defiant look at Selaine, he rushed to Laura.

She tried to shy away from him, but he was too fast.  He caught her hands in an iron grip and bent to one knee to look up at her.  “Laura,” he said desperately, “you have to understand that nothing changes between us. 
Nothing
changes!  Not once did I lie to you except when I had to.  Everything I said I wanted I still want.  Everything I said I feel, I still feel!  You mean the world to me, Laura.  That’s the truth.  But you have to understand that I couldn’t tell you of things earlier.  I couldn’t!  Every night I spent with you I fought my conscience.  Every night, I came closer and closer to the breaking point.  But I was afraid.  I was afraid that if you knew, you could turn your back on me.”  He took a deep breath, and continued in a rush.  “Yes, our meeting did not happen by chance.  And yes, I had some part to play in guiding you here.  But everything else that happened, everything in the interim, that was
real,
Laura!  That was real to me.  You must… you must believe me.”

He trailed off, but did not release her hands.  He looked up at her through large, glistening eyes.  Laura did not know what to think.  It was true, everything that happened between him and her… everything that made him mean so much to her… had felt real.  But was it?  Could she bring herself to trust a person who had just admitted to lying to her, since the very moment they met? 

She looked down at him.  His eyes were pleading.  For the first time since Laura met him, he looked to be at a breaking point.  He could not possibly be lying to her.  Not now.  Not like this.

“You hurt me just now,” Laura said finally.  “You broke my trust.  That is not something I can take lightly.”

“I know,” Logan begged, “but I had no choice.  Nothing else is different.  Nothing else changes!  Everything I feel about you… everything you may have felt for me… all that is still there!  Laura, I still love you.  None of that was a lie!”

“But you deceived me.  How do I know you won’t do it again?”

“Bah!  Enough of this pitter-patter!” Selaine exclaimed.  Laura hadn’t noticed her walking over.  Selaine reached down to grab Logan by the shoulder, and jerked him upright.  “He did what he had to do girl, and nothing more.  I can tell you right now he’s being sincere.  My word should be enough to quell your doubt.”

Laura looked at Selaine, and then back to Logan.  She had never seen him so upset.  Did she really mean so much to him?  She knew he still meant the world to her, despite what she just found out.  She could not just turn her back on him.  Laura fixed her gaze on Logan.

“You betrayed me,” she began.

“I didn’t—”

“Just listen!” Laura insisted.  “You betrayed me, betrayed my trust, but I can’t lie.  I do have feelings for you.  I love you, Logan.  No matter how stupid or how foolish that may be, I can’t erase the feeling.  I know, that based on what you said, I
should
, but…” Laura trailed off, and a hint of a smile began to form on her lips.  “But… it doesn’t.  I accept your apology.”

Logan’s face lit up like a lantern.  In a single step, he came to her, and embraced her in his arms.  Laura breathed deeply to inhale his musky scent.  She felt safe again.  Sheltered.  Protected.  For a long moment, nothing else existed…

An obnoxious tap-tap-tap broke her out of the spell.  Laura looked up, past Logan’s shoulder, and saw Selaine glaring at them, hands crossed, tapping one foot impatiently on the ground.  “If you’re quite done,” she growled, “there’s more we still have to do.”

“Yes?” Laura asked.  Logan curled off to stand beside her.  He took her hand in his.

“Despite what I’ve told you, what you have to do does not change.  You still have to kill the elders, Laura.  They have spiraled out of control.  It is the way to announce your coming to the entire race.  It is in the best interest of all
Vassiz
.”

“Why have me do it?” Laura asked.  “Why can’t you do it yourself?  Why set me up as a puppet for your own gain?”

“It was never my place to act,” Selaine said.  “Only to watch, and observe.  But my responsibilities are nearing their end.  It’s time for somebody else to take over.  It’s time for you, Laura.”

“To become the next succubus?”

“Yes.”

“I… I don’t
want
any of that!  All I want is reprieve.  Peace.  That’s all I ever strove for.”

“Destiny is hard to run from, dear,” Selaine said.  “Soon, you will ascend the simple desires of everyday life to take on a new role.  A role that you have inherited by your birth.”

“A role I never asked for!”

“That may be true – but did you ask for any of this?  You did not ask to meet Logan, nor to be taken away from your family.  You did not ask to be uprooted from your home.  This is just the final step in a long list of things you did not ask for.  Even more importantly: Do you regret anything that has happened to you?  Some things may not have been ideal, but you would not go back and change anything if you could.  Would you?”

Laura thought hard.  Changing things would mean never meeting Logan.  It meant never finding Gray, and never making friends with Alexander and Madison.  Her life would have been completely different if none of it had happened.  It would have been… ordinary.

“No,” Laura said finally. 

“Then it’s up to you to finish it.  You must wipe out the old regime.  You have to kill the elders.  And you have to do it by destroying their stars.  Only you have the ability to do so, Laura.  I am too old – too weak – to even contemplate such a thing.  But that does not mean I will not help you.  Logan and I will both be there.”

Suddenly Laura remembered something very important.  Something that she did not understand at all. 

“When I was in the
torrial
,” she began, “I saw the elders’ cluster of stars.  They were all together, but then there was one more.  Logan’s star…?” she trailed off, unable to finish the question.

“Ah,” Selaine said.  “Yes.  Of course.  That is not my place to explain.  Logan?”

Laura turned her head to look at Logan.  He seemed to be having another internal battle with himself.  Finally, he met her eyes, and spoke.

“I am… one of them,” he admitted. 

Laura pushed away from him.  “
What
?”

He looked ashamed and devastated all at once.  “Not by choice,” he insisted.  “Not anymore!  Once, it was so, but that was a very long time ago.  The elders betray each other as easily as they betray anyone else!  I was one of them, but I have long since renounced their council.  Laura, I am not like any of them.  Not at all.  You remember the story about Maria, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Laura said cautiously.  Maria was Logan’s first love.  She was the one he said the elders killed.

“Well, she wanted the
Vassiz
to reveal themselves, and to live side-by-side with humans.  In the open.  I agreed with her.  I championed her suggestion to the other elders.  I tried to persuade them that it was time to lead the
Vassiz
in a new direction.  To a life outside of fear, and without uncertainty.  Some supported me, and some did not.  I thought we would do it, though.  In the end…” he trailed off, shutting his eyes.  He shuddered in memory.  “In the end, Maria took a knife in the back.  A poison blade.  One of the elders commissioned her death.  But I did not know who – and none would speak of it after.  They are cowards!”

“That was when he came to me,” Selaine said.  “Or, rather, I came to him.  I watched what happened, and knew it was not right.  We both knew of the prophecy—”

“And that was when you decided to use me!” Laura exploded.  She shot a baleful look at Logan.  “I can’t believe any of this!  Logan, you are an
elder
?”  She did not know whether to feel repulsed or disgusted.  Or maybe both.  He was everything that she despised.  She had thought she had forgiven him for lying to her just minutes ago, but now there was
this
?  “And you just pulled me along, as a way of getting revenge for Maria?”  She knew he had lied to her, but never could have expected it to be this bad.  She was furious.  She was seething.  But… despite all that, when she looked at him – no matter how hard it was to admit – nothing changed.  He was still… the Logan she knew.  He was still the man she loved.  How could he, of all people, have such a poisonous past?

“Laura, that’s not true!” Logan said.  “Sure, at first, before I knew you, it may have been.  I’m not perfect!  But once I met you… once I fell for you… that was when everything changed.  I would give my life for you, Laura.  Whether you want it or not.  I said it before, and I’ll say it again:
nothing
changes.  I have my past, and you have yours.  But that does not alter what we’ve gone through together.  It doesn’t change how I feel for you.”

Laura exhaled.  Could she come to terms with who Logan was?  Who he had been?  He said himself he renounced that past.  And Laura knew he was different.  She
knew
it!  A title he had had once should not stop her from seeing him as he was now.  She knew him, even if he didn’t share everything about his past.  Besides, she was already here.  There was no going back to her.  There was nothing to do but move forward.

“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you, either,” Laura said finally as she exhaled.  She shot him an unsteady smile.  “Although since we’re putting everything out in the open, is there anything else you want to tell me?  Some other thing you’ve kept hidden all this time?”

“No.”  Logan shook his head.  “You know everything now.”

Laura looked to Selaine.  She had an unreadable look on her face.  “So, now what happens?” Laura asked.

“We have to help your friends,” Selaine answered.  “Success for them comes less easy than it did for you.”

“How?” Laura asked.

“You need to go back into the
torrial
.”  Selaine motioned to the one on the table.  “You have to destroy the elders’ cluster of stars from the outside.”

“But the stars are linked together,” Laura said.  “Logan’s is in there.  Can we free it from the cluster?”

“No,” Selaine answered.  “But there is something else we can do.”