Beautiful Redemption (26 page)

The plane left the runway just after sunrise. Flight was an amazing thing. In the morning, we could see our breath, and just being outside had hurt our skin. In the afternoon, we were peeling off layers and putting on sunscreen to shield our faces from the bright Caribbean sun.

Thomas opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the balcony of our second-floor room at The Ritz-Carlton where Travis and Abby were getting married—again.

I followed Thomas, resting my hands on the railing and scanning the scenery below. The grounds had been meticulously kept, and there were so many colors and sounds. The birds were calling to each other, but I couldn’t see them. The muggy air made taking a breath feel like effort, but I loved it.

“It’s beautiful,” I said. “Look through the trees. You can see the ocean. I would live here in a heartbeat if the Bureau had an office here.”

“We could always retire here,” Thomas said.

I looked up at him.

He cringed. “Too honest?”

“Is that what that was?”

He shrugged. “Just thinking out loud.” He bent down to peck my cheek and then returned to the room. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Wedding is in ninety minutes.”

I turned to take in the scenery again, breathing in the salty thick air. I had just agreed to try a relationship with him, and he was talking about the rest of our lives.

I followed Thomas into the room, but he was already in the shower. I knocked on the door and then opened it.

“Don’t say it,” Thomas said, scrubbing his hair.

“Say what?”

“What you’re about to say. You’re overanalyzing.”

I frowned. “That’s part of who I am. That’s why I’m good at my job.”

“And I accept that. What I won’t accept is you using it to push me away. I know what you’re doing.”

Anger, humiliation, and devastation hit me at once. “And I accept that you’re gifted at seeing people for who they really are but not when you point it in my direction and avoid using that talent on yourself.”

He didn’t respond.

“Thomas?”

“We’ve already been over this.”

“What Taylor said this morning, about how to get over someone—”

“No, Liis.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

“Yes, I do. You want to know if I am using you to get over Camille. The answer is no.”

“Then, how did you get over her? You weren’t over her before.”

He was quiet for a moment, letting the water run forward over his scalp and down his face. “You can’t just stop loving someone. I don’t know how to explain it to you if you’ve never been in love.”

“Who said I’ve never been in love?”

“You did—when you said you’ve never had your heart broken.”

“A lot of people on this earth have been in love and haven’t had their hearts broken.”

“But you’re not one of them.”

I winced. “Are you over her?”

He hesitated. “It’s hard to explain.”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

He wiped his face and opened the door. “Baby, for the tenth time…I don’t want to be with her. I want you.”

“Would you still be with her if Trent hadn’t come along?”

He puffed out a frustrated sigh. “Probably. I don’t know. It depends on if she would have moved out to California like we’d talked about.”

“You talked about moving in together?”

He sighed. “Yes. Evidently, we need to talk more about this until you’re clear and you feel better about certain things, but right now, we have to get ready for the ceremony. Okay?”

“Okay. But…Thomas?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m never going to be okay with unresolved feelings.”

He looked at me with sad eyes. “Don’t do that. I’m sorry I talked about retiring here. It’s too soon. I freaked you out. I get it.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. This has been an ongoing conversation.”

“I’m aware.”

I glared at him.

“Liis…” He pressed his lips together, stopping himself from whatever he was about to say. After a few moments, he spoke again, “We’ll figure it out. Just hang in there with me.”

I nodded, and then he offered a small smile before pulling the shower door closed.

“Thomas?” I said.

He opened the door again, aggravation darkening his face.

“I just…I don’t want to hurt you.”

His eyes turned soft. He looked wounded. “You don’t want to get hurt.”

“Does anyone?”

“You have to weigh the joy against the risk.”

I nodded and then left him to finish his shower. The foliage and ocean were visible even from the middle of the room, and I tried to forget about my present worries and our future and everything in between.

I fell onto the bed, bouncing twice. It was unsettling being with someone with such a strong bullshit shield. Thomas had called me out on making excuses to run before I’d even realized what I was doing.

There was a knock on the door. I looked around, not sure if we had even told anyone which room we were in. I crept over to the door and used the peephole. My blood ran cold and boiled at the same time.

Oh. My. God.

I
DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO
, so I slid the chain and then yanked the door open with a smile. “Hi.”

Camille hesitated. Her navy strapless cocktail dress had the tiniest bit of sparkle in the threading. When she made the slightest shift, the fabric would catch the light, emphasizing her every movement. I imagined she had to stick to simple clothing to avoid clashing with the busy color-by-numbers on her arms.

“The, uh…the guys are all getting ready in Shepley and America’s room. They’re taking pictures, too.”

“Okay,” I said, slowly pushing the door shut. “I’ll let him know.”

Camille put her hand on the door, stopping it from closing. I shot her a look, and she immediately snapped her hand back, protectively holding it. With her arms and even her knuckles tattooed, the fact that she worked in a bar at least gave the impression that a dirty look wouldn’t have an effect on her. Camille stood a whole head taller than me, so her acting intimidated didn’t make sense.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” she said. “I just…”

She knows something.
“You came here to see him?” I asked.

“No! I mean, yes, but it’s not like that.” She shook her head, and the ends of her razor-cut strands trembled as if they were nervous, too. “Is he here?”

“He’s in the shower.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip and looked everywhere but at me.

“Would you like to come back?”

“I’m…in the other building on the opposite side of the property.”

I watched her for a moment in disbelief. Begrudgingly, I extended the last invite I wanted to give. “Would you like to come in?”

She smiled, looking sheepish. “If it’s all right. I don’t want to impose.”

I opened the door wide, and she stepped through. She sat on the exact spot of the bed where I had just been, and the fires of hell burned in my chest. I hated that she could get under my skin without even trying.

The shower shut off, and almost immediately, the bathroom door opened. A puff of steam preceded Thomas, who was covered only by the white towel he held loosely at his waist. “Baby, have you seen my…” He saw Camille first, and then his eyes searched for me. “Razor?”

I nodded. The shock and discomfort on his face when he had seen Camille gave me a tiny bit of satisfaction, as did her hearing that term of endearment. In the same moment, I felt foolish for being so juvenile.

“You put it in the inside pocket of your luggage this morning.” I walked the few steps to his suitcase and rummaged through it.

“Could you hand me a T-shirt and shorts, too?” he asked.

He closed the door, and once I located the items, I joined Thomas in the bathroom.

Thomas took the shirt, shorts, and razor from me, and then he leaned down. “What is she doing here?” he quietly hissed.

I shrugged.

He looked at the wall in the direction of where Camille was sitting. “She didn’t say anything?”

“She said the guys were getting ready in Shepley’s room, and then you all have pictures.”

“Okay…but why is she still here?” The disgusted look on his face made me feel even more validation.

“She didn’t say. She just wanted to come in.”

Thomas nodded once and then bent down to kiss my cheek. “Tell her I’ll be out in a minute.”

I turned and grabbed the knob, but then Thomas spun me around, grabbed my cheeks, and attacked my lips with his.

When he let me go, I was breathless and disoriented. “What was that?” I asked.

He huffed, “I don’t know what she’s going to say. I just don’t want you to be upset.”

“Why don’t you take it outside?” I offered.

He shook his head. “She knew we were sharing a room. If she wants to talk to me, she can say it in front of you.”

“Just…stop fidgeting. You look terrified.”

He dropped his towel and then pulled his T-shirt over his head.

I returned to the room. “He’ll be out in a minute.”

Camille nodded.

I sat in the chair in the corner and reached for the closest reading material.

“This is a nice room,” Camille said.

I glanced around. “Yes, it is.”

“Did they tell you they had the tuxes delivered? His should be in the closet.”

“I’ll let him know.”

When Thomas came out of the bathroom, Camille immediately stood.

“Hi,” he said.

She smiled. “Hey. The, uh…the guys are in Shep’s room.”

“I heard,” Thomas said simply.

“And your tux is in the closet.”

“Thank you.”

“I was, um…hoping we could chat for a minute,” she said.

“About what?” he asked.

“Last night…and other things.” She looked as terrified as he had.

“We talked about it last night. You have more to say?” Thomas asked.

“Can we…” She gestured to the hall.

“I think it’s more respectful to Liis if we don’t.”

Camille glanced at me, sighed, and then nodded, picking at her metallic black nail polish.

“You look really happy,” she said, looking down. “Your brothers want you home, T.J.” When Thomas didn’t respond, she looked up at him. “I don’t want things to be awkward. I don’t want you to stay away. So, I was hoping…since you seem so happy now…that you would consider visiting more often. Abby, Liis, Falyn, and I need to be a united front.” She chuckled nervously. “You Maddox boys are a lot to handle, and I just…want to get along.”

“Okay,” Thomas said.

Camille’s face turned bright red, and I silently cursed myself for the empathy I felt.

“You’re different, T.J. Everyone can see it.”

Thomas began to speak, but she cut him off, “No, I’m glad. We’re all glad. You’re the man you were meant to be, and I don’t think you could have done that if you were with me.”

“What are you getting at, Camille?” Thomas asked.

Camille winced. “I know Liis doesn’t work at the university.” She held up her hand to me when my mouth fell open. “It’s okay. It won’t be the first secret I’ve kept.” She walked toward the door and turned the knob. “I’m just so damn glad for you both. You’re exactly who he needed. I just…I heard your discussion at the party last night, and I thought it would be best if we at least had a conversation. We need to put this behind us, T.J., as a family, and Liis is a big part of that.”

Thomas stood next to me and smiled. “Thank you for stopping by. We’ll make more of an effort to visit—as our jobs allow.”

I shot Thomas a look.

“Okay. See you at the ceremony,” she said before closing the door behind her.

“Is she going to talk?” I asked, panicked.

“No. I trust her.”

I sat down and covered my face, feeling tears burning my eyes.

“What?” Thomas said, kneeling in front of me and touching my knees. “Talk to me. Liis?” He paused when he saw my shoulders trembling. “Are you…crying? But you don’t cry. Why are you crying?” he spoke the words in staccato, flustered at the sight of me.

I looked up at him with wet eyes. “I’m a terrible undercover agent. If I can’t play the part of your girlfriend when I
am
your girlfriend, I am officially a failure.”

He chuckled and touched my cheek. “Jesus Christ, Liis. I thought you were going to say something completely different. I have never been so scared in my life.”

I sniffed. “What did you think I was going to say?”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. The only reason Camille knows you’re an agent is because she knows I’m an agent.”

“Anthony knew.”

“Anthony serves agents every night of the week. The locals call that neighborhood the Eagle’s Nest because of the concentration of federal agents.” He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks, and then he touched his lips to mine. “You’re not a failure. I would never fall this hard for a failure.”

I blinked. “You’re falling for me?”

“Already at the bottom. Splat.”

I quietly giggled, and the green in his hazel eyes sparked.

He touched my bottom lip with his thumb. “I wish I didn’t have to go. I would love to lie in a hammock on the beach with you.”

Camille was right. He was different, even from the man I’d met at the bar. The darkness in his eyes was completely gone.