Betrayal (15 page)

I
tried everything. Every night I tried a different charm from the Book.
To Cure Sicknesse, To bring Rain in time of Droughte, To improve Memorie…
But I knew I was fooling myself. These things might have filled me with wonder a year ago, but now they were like empty toys. Without the fire token my powers were meaningless and the Book offered me nothing but ways of killing time.
Time…time…time…
Every day that went by was another failure. I couldn’t find the fire token, and I couldn’t find a way of stopping the hours racing past.

Monday…Tuesday…Wednesday…Thursday…the last week before the new moon rose was almost over.

On Friday morning there was a rush of girls around the long table in the entrance hall. They were looking
excitedly at the piles of mail, chattering and giggling like eager magpies. A huge bunch of red roses was displayed in a crystal vase in the middle of the table, and red ribbons had been fixed up all around the hall.

“What’s all this about?” I asked Sarah as we pushed our way past the crowd of girls.

She grimaced in reply. “St. Valentine’s Day, of course. They always make a big fuss about it.”

“I wouldn’t have thought Wyldcliffe would have encouraged such frivolities.”

“Mrs. Hartle would have stamped it out if she could, but you know how the school clings to its traditions. In the old days, the girls would make little posies and poems for their favorite teachers, and the handing out of the flowers was an elaborate ritual. We don’t do that anymore, thank goodness, but it’s still a big deal for students to get valentine cards from well-connected boys from London or Eton College. Celeste will be in her element.”

Celeste was indeed at the center of the crowd, gleefully waving a bunch of colored envelopes and exclaiming over their contents. She had a gang of girls hanging around her shrieking and giggling, but I couldn’t help noticing that Sophie wasn’t there and that India looked rather sour. Perhaps the preppy boys she knew had let her down. As
I watched the crowd of laughing girls, a desperate, crazy, ridiculous hope that Sebastian had sent me a valentine message shot through me like an arrow. I marched up to the table, scanning the letters.

“I don’t know why you’re bothering to look, Johnson,” Celeste crowed, pushing past me with her triumphant haul. She was right, of course; it was hopeless….

“Hey—aren’t these for you?” A girl called Fiona Hamilton excitedly waved a small package and a plain white envelope under my nose. “Lucky you.”

Lucky me. I grabbed them from her; then my heart sank. That wasn’t Sebastian’s writing—how could it be? How stupid of me even to imagine for a second that they would be from him. Sarah was at my shoulder, looking with curiosity at the package and letter.

“Why don’t you open them?”

“Not here. Let’s go outside.”

I had a feeling that whatever they were, I didn’t want Celeste or anyone else to see them. Sarah and I made our way to the terrace. It was cold but bright, and our breath hung like little clouds in the clear air. I opened the envelope and a strip of paper fell out.

“Looks like the mystery letter writer has decided to contact me again. Just the thing for Valentine’s Day,” I said lightly, crumpling it up and throwing it away.

“Evie, you’ve got to take care,” Sarah said in a low voice.

I tried to laugh it off and show a confidence I didn’t quite feel. “Well, the thief has to be caught first before she can be punished, and they haven’t managed that yet.”

“But still—”

“So what’s in this other one?” I said jokingly. “Rat poison? A letter bomb?” I ripped the packaging open and a small, heavy object made of polished wood fell into my hand. It was a carving of a horse, wild and free and exquisite.

“But that’s beautiful!” exclaimed Sarah. “And there’s a card.”

The card had a simple flower on the front. Inside, someone had written,
For Evie. Happy Valentine’s Day. J.P.

“J.P.—so it’s from Josh,” Sarah said quietly.

Sarah and I stared at each other for a fraction of a second. “Sarah—listen, I’m so sorry. I never wanted—”

“It doesn’t matter; I’m not stupid. I can see how much he likes you.” She sighed. “I guess I’ve always known that Josh thinks of me as a kid. I’ve had plenty of time to accept
that nothing will ever happen between us. Just because we both liked horses, and he was the only boy around for miles, and we were friends and chatted sometimes…Well, it wasn’t enough. Like I said, I’m just not the kind of girl guys notice.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Cal seemed to notice you all right.”

Sarah looked down with a secret, self-conscious expression. “Perhaps he did. Don’t worry, Evie; my heart isn’t broken, only bruised.”

“Oh, Sarah—”

She gave me a warm hug and forced herself to smile. “Don’t they say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? It’s all right, honestly.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Then she looked serious again. “But what about Josh? Won’t he be upset?”

I didn’t want to bruise anyone’s heart, let alone break it. “It probably doesn’t mean that much,” I said. “I guess he likes me, and I do like him; he’s a really nice guy. But this valentine thing…he’s probably just being—”

“Being what? Being polite? Don’t kid yourself, Evie. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

I glanced down at the carved horse in my hand. It must
have taken him hours to make, I thought. It wasn’t a gift to be given lightly. I remembered the way he had found Martha’s locket and put it on a chain for me, they way he found any excuse to chat whenever I went to the stables, the way he looked at me…. I couldn’t pretend to myself any longer that Josh was just being friendly. But I couldn’t accept his gift.

“Why is everything so complicated?” I groaned. “I’ll have to go and talk to him and explain. If anyone asks for me, will you say I’ve gone to see the nurse with a headache?”

“Sure.”

I walked slowly across to the stable yard, hoping that Josh wouldn’t be there and yet cursing myself for my cowardice. I would tell him the truth, thank him for the gift, and explain calmly that I had a boyfriend, that was all. But it would be only a fraction of the truth, and I hated lying to him.

“You’re deep in thought.”

I looked up. Josh was there, right in front of me. He was leading a beautiful white mare across the yard and smiling his golden, welcoming smile.

“Oh…Josh…hi…I mean, that’s a lovely horse,” I said lamely.

“She’s really special. I’m taking very good care of her.”

“Who does she belong to?” I asked, glad to talk about anything that wasn’t Valentine’s Day.

“One of the staff. Miss Scratton.”

“Oh.” So Miss Scratton did ride after all. She probably got this horse sent to the school so she could follow and spy on us if we went out riding. I hoped she would break her neck.

Josh tethered the horse, giving it a drink from a bucket, then came over to me.

“Are you okay, Evie?”

“Yeah…of course.”

“It’s just that I have the feeling that you’ve been avoiding me lately, making excuses to cut your classes with me. Do you really dislike riding so much?” He stepped closer and added, “Or is it me that’s the problem?”

“No! I don’t want you to think that. I…I got your card, and the carving. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s beautiful,
but
—isn’t that what you’re gong to say? So what’s the ‘but’ in all this, Evie?”

“I’ve already got a boyfriend,” I muttered.

Josh took a quick breath, then smiled. “It doesn’t surprise me. Who’s the lucky guy? Someone back at home?”

“No.”

“So he’s from around here?” Josh said with a look of astonishment. “Then I must know him.”

“Um…no…you won’t know him; he’s…um…It’s difficult to explain….” I trailed off unconvincingly.

“Are you sure he really exists, Evie? You don’t have to make up some imaginary boyfriend to put me off, you know. If you’re not interested I can take a hint.”

“It’s not that! I do really like you, Josh, but—”

“But you love someone else,” he said softly. “Is that it?”

I nodded miserably. “I’m sorry. And the carving was such a sweet gift. I really appreciate it.”

“Well, keep it anyway. Maybe it will bring you luck. More luck than I’ve had.”

“Josh, I—”

“I think we’ve both said enough. Look, it’s no big deal. I won’t embarrass you again, I promise. In any case, my mom will be back soon, so you won’t have to put up with me as your teacher for much longer.”

“I’ll be sorry,” I said. “You’ve been great.”

“So have you.” He made as if to go, then turned back. “I just feel worried about you, Evie. Whoever this guy is, it doesn’t seem to me that he’s making you particularly happy.”

Tears sprang unexpectedly to my eyes. Sebastian had
given me a few precious moments of the greatest happiness I had ever known, but loving him had also taught me about pain and fear. How had this happened to me? How had one chance meeting with a boy with laughing blue eyes led me to this? Oh, it was feeble and selfish of me, but for one weak moment I longed to be sensible Evie Johnson again, who laughed at stories about ghosts and vampires and evil spirits, who knew that such things could never exist. I wished I could tell Josh everything. He was good and wise and calm, and I was so tempted to lean on his strength. But I couldn’t betray Sebastian’s secrets, or my own. I had to be strong without help from anyone else.

“I’m okay, honestly.”

“Well, if you ever feel differently, you know where to find me. I want to be your friend, Evie, simple as that. No strings, no pressure. Just friends.”

“Oh, Josh, you’re so kind. I don’t deserve it.”

“Hey, don’t cry, please, Evie.” He put his hands on my shoulders and tried to calm me down. “Come on; it can’t be as bad as that.” He smudged my tears away and smiled at me. “Even when you’re crying you look fantastic.”

I tried to laugh everything off and pull myself together, but Josh kept hold of me, his face suddenly different, intense and eager. “Has anyone ever told you that your
eyes are the color of the sea?” he whispered. “And your hair is like fire? You’re beautiful, Evie.”

“And late for class.” I wiped my face and blew my nose. “I’m sorry for being stupid.”

Josh dropped his arms and stepped away.

“I’m sorry too. I guess ‘just friends’ don’t say that kind of stuff. Forget it. I won’t go on like that again.”

We both hesitated, awkward and unsure.

“Well, I’d better go,” I said, trying to speak normally.

“Yeah. Sure. So…will you be there for your lesson next time?”

“Of course,” I said. “You’re a good teacher. And a good friend.”

Josh smiled again, with only a hint of sadness in his eyes. “That’s settled then. See you soon.”

“See you.” He walked off and I waited for a moment, watching him go, then jumped out of my skin. Someone had been watching us from the corner of the stable yard. It was Harriet, her strange old-lady eyes staring at me blankly. She had been there the whole time. Guilt swept over me. I still hadn’t spent any time with her, as I had promised. I stepped toward her with a false, bright smile. “Hi, Harriet, what are you doing out here?” But she pretended not to see me and hurried away.

I felt so annoyed with myself. I had let Harriet down, as well as hurting Josh.

Josh. It suddenly hit me. What had he said? Eyes the color of the sea and hair the color of fire…red hair…the red hair that had been passed to Agnes’s descendants…I felt under my blouse for the hidden locket that contained the lock of Effie’s hair, as bright as a burning flame.

The fire token. That was it. Josh had helped me to solve the mystery, just in time. Hope came crashing over me like the roll of the sea on the shore.

This time I would do it. I would summon the sacred fire. The circle was prepared; the incantations were spoken. I held hands with Sarah and Helen as the candles in the attic room flickered like marsh lights. The powers were coming to me. I felt a crackle of electricity down my spine. I was freeing my mind, willing myself to go beyond the everyday dimensions into secret and unknown realms….
Agnes, help me now….
I was falling, falling into the center of all things.

Helen and Sarah seemed to vanish from sight. I crouched down on the floor, then looked up. I was in the sanctuary again, the cave of white crystal where the pillar of living fire burned without ever diminishing. I
approached the flames and felt the heat reach out, ready to engulf me.

“Let me approach the fire!” I called, and the mysterious voice echoed again in the corners of my thoughts.
Go back…go back…you do not belong….
I opened the locket and took out the burnished lock of hair.

“Here is my claim,” I said steadily. “I stand here in the name of Lady Agnes, sister of the fire. This is her sign, her fire token—a lock of her daughter’s hair. I am a daughter of that blood, and I reach out now to the sacred flame.”

Shielding my eyes, I threw the bright curl into the pillar of fire. It blazed up, brilliant red and bronze and orange, like all the autumns the world has ever known, and then I saw an image of Agnes in the heart of the fire, her hair streaming out, her arms wide in welcome. At last she had shown herself to me; at last she was at my side once more. I had proved worthy of her gift. As I stepped forward joyfully, the flames no longer scorched me but filled me with dazzling light and power. I wanted to stay there forever, burning like a star in the sky, but I heard Agnes say, “Go, my sister; fulfill your task.”

I fell to the ground and for a moment lay in a dazed dream. Then I heard voices: “Evie, are you all right?…” “Don’t disturb her…. Let her be….” I raised my head and
looked around groggily. The attic under the eaves seemed so dark and small after the vast light and energy I had just witnessed. Helen was kneeling at my side, feeling my pulse. I gently pushed her away and got to my feet.

“I am reborn.” I held out my hands in wonder. Tiny white flames danced on my outstretched palms. I threw my hands aloft and the flames shot away and became stars and birds and flowers, shining like jewels in the night.