BORDEN 2 (4 page)

He clenched his jaw at Hector’s words and replied, “It’s not a fucked up teenager looking for his next thrill.”

“But how do you
know
this?” Hector asked.

Borden paused. There was something he wasn’t telling me. I fidgeted in my chair, waiting for him to continue while he debated internally about something. The longer he waited, the more unsettled I became. Then he finally responded, “I know this because I received a similar text hours after Kate was murdered.”

I froze, gaping at him. He wasn’t returning the look. He was all business, his eyes firmly planted on Hector. Meanwhile, Hawke was casual as can be, like this wasn’t news to him in the slightest. I was sure it wasn’t. He’d been in the loop while the I – the woman Borden had been screwing and sharing a bed with for the last two weeks – hadn’t.

I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“I thought you…took
care
of that,” Hector responded quietly, narrowing his eyes at him.

My heart was now thudding in my chest, and I could hardly breathe. This had gotten a lot darker than I’d ever anticipated. Even my body was shaking as reality began to dawn on me. The same people that had actually murdered someone close to him were now threatening to kill me. I wasn’t prepared for this. Not at all.

“I thought I did,” Borden murmured, his face darkening. “They were brothers. Middle-level gangbangers around the parts I’d just started buying into. They sent their muscle to me at first and wanted me to front them half the percentage of my earnings per month. I refused, like any sane fucking human being would. They kidnapped Kate as a result. It was their fucked up way of punishing me for supposedly ripping them off. I tracked them shortly after the murder, and I made them
sing
about it. I destroyed every part of that gang, until nobody was left standing in the end. But that text was sent by someone in the loop, someone I didn’t even know existed. I never told a single soul about that message, not until this one came through. Now does that sound like something a teenage little shit on a thrill would do?”

Hector frowned. “No.”

“Right. So, you want that port?
This
is what it’s going to take.”

The biker slowly nodded in return, reflecting on his words. “Alright, Borden. This is something we can negotiate.”

“No negotiating,” he retorted firmly. “You do this, and that fucking port is there for you to use whenever your savage little heart desires.”

Silence.

Hector took a moment to reflect. His eyes were on me throughout the long minute he was silently debating Borden’s conditions. There was a reluctance in him, like looking after me if shit went south was a bad thing. I couldn’t see why it would be. The sudden resentment in his eyes had me looking away. Appearing at ease, he’d seemed friendly. Looking resentful, he was pretty fucking scary.

“Fine,” I heard him say, his voice tight. “But we’re going to talk this through, and I don’t want
her
in the room while we do it. Women don’t belong in here, Borden. I wasn’t raised by a pop who condoned club bitches into our meetings, and regardless of what she means to you, I’m not willing to bend the rules about this.”

Club bitch? What dumbass female would want to call herself a
club bitch
with this fucking jerk around?

This time I didn’t glare at him, though. I actually agreed! I would have done anything to get out of there and rid my mind of the words that had just been exchanged. Of Borden pretty much admitting to killing the men that murdered Kate.

I made them sing.
He’d said.

God, the chills that shot through me were unending. Every bone in my body stiffened. I was sitting in a room filled with murderers, and the man I was sharing a bed with was probably the worst of them all.

Breathe, breathe.

“I’m going to fucking let that ‘club bitch’ reference slide just this once. I’m not letting her out there with all your guys,” Borden said gravely. “She stays.”

“I can take care of myself,” I whispered to him, my eagerness bleeding out of me. “Graeme will be with me. I’ll be fine.”

Borden didn’t look at me – didn’t even acknowledge what I said – as he repeated, “She stays.”

Hector exhaled, shaking his head in defeat. “I’m only letting
this
slide because of what I get at the end of this, Borden. But if she stays, she’s on the list of people that knows what the rest of the world only speculates about the Warlords. You really wanna have her name there on that list?”

Borden suddenly leaned over the table, his face filled with that familiar rage I’d seen in him before.

Shit. Shit.

“Go on and threaten her life again, Hector,” he growled heatedly. “You’re in my house now, motherfucker. Open that mouth and tell me about the list you’re putting her on so I can jump over this desk and stick my knife in your throat and watch you bleed out like a fucking animal. Do it.
I fucking dare you
.”

My heart climbed up my throat and my stomach dropped. Shaking, I stared at Hawke and Graeme, but they were standing steady behind Hector. Graeme was gripping the gun tighter, watching the biker’s moves carefully. Hawke remained indecipherable, the only part of him moving were his eyes; back and forth from Borden to Hector and back again. I wondered if it came down to the wire where his loyalty truly rested. Would he back Borden, or his brother?

I desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Hector leaned over, matching Borden’s stance. His face changed. Turned darker, harder. They both looked lethal.

Hector’s eyes flickered to mine very briefly, but I caught it just the same. Something lurked in those dark irises, something that suddenly made my chest constrict.

With a tight voice, he finally replied, “She stays.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, and Graeme visibly relaxed. Borden nodded once and sat up straight again.

“Good,” he said, his voice clearing up, the rage slipping away. “Now let’s talk business.”

Whatever tension there was vanished in a blink of an eye… except the tension within me – that only worsened.

There, in front of me, they talked business, and it was there, I realized, I’d just been pulled into a separate world, one Borden had worked hard never to let me into.

I didn’t know what to think, and frankly, I was too frightened to.

*

They’d spoken for over an hour. About money, dates, the goings-on at the port, the cartel the MC kicked their drugs to, and every fucking illegal thing under the sun you can think of. I was in a state of shock, wanting to block out their words and drift away in thought. But I couldn’t do it. I listened to every single thing they spoke about, enough to know that that Borden did a number of shocking deals on the side. From loaning money to orchestrating connections for hits, the list went on.

He was also a launderer. I pieced it together myself only because Hector tried to bring him into the deals. Borden refused and said he had no interest in money. It hit me all of a sudden. He was laundering his own money, bleeding it into his businesses so it went unnoticed. It explained why he would come here and start buying everything up so quickly. The one thing that wasn’t brought up was how Borden made his initial money when he returned five years ago, and Hector either already knew or didn’t care to.

Secrets seemed to be well respected in the criminal world. There was no itch on either side to uncover them. Borden didn’t need to know why Hector needed the port. Didn’t care to ask what was going to be coming in. It was like the less he knew, the better.

Then it was about me and my protection. All Borden had to do was snap his fingers and the bikers would deliver me to their clubhouse under their strict protection. Borden made it clear that if I was touched in any way, or hurt by any of the “savages” that he would cut ties straight away. Hector agreed, though I could tell it was difficult for him to. Yeah, because it was so fucking hard to babysit me in their little fucking nasty ass clubhouse and leave me untouched, right? Never mind that I had no say in the matter, or that I’d get absolutely no enjoyment being there whatsoever.

I kind of did feel like a piece of property. I was an item in the biker’s eyes that would be moved around places when the time came, and Borden didn’t make it any better by going along with it. By the time all was said and done, Hector’s annoyances disappeared. He was visibly relaxed. He stood up from the chair and said, “Now that’s all sorted out, how about we fucking move on from this shit and have some fun?”

“Go on,” Borden told him, dismissively. “You can’t fuck up my club more than it already is. I’ll be here –”

“Fuck no,” Hector interrupted, shaking his head adamantly. “We just made a deal to end all deals. This is a time for celebration, and the men will want to see you for this. It’s history for our club. You have no idea the kind of pressure we’ve been under. You may be a mean fucker, but you know better than anyone else you have to nurture a good business relationship in order for it to work.”

Borden exhaled slowly, the exhaustion in his eyes showing. “Alright, then.”

Hector was satisfied, and it wasn’t until we were out the door, Borden’s hand gripping mine, that I realized why he’d been eager to keep me inside that office.

*

The club had been turned upside down. It was pandemonium at its finest. There were bikers everywhere. Drinking. Arguing. Laughing. Feeling up the dozens of half-naked women, some with their breasts hanging out, while talking casually to one another. Some of the women really enjoyed it, smiling at the attention, encouraging the intimacy. Others weren’t even mentally there, their eyes glazed, staring off into space while hands invaded every inch of their bodies.

I was nowhere near a prude. I’d seen this sort of thing from time to time growing up, and I treated it with a shrug on the shoulder. I was full blown desensitized. I’d never reacted, never really cared, because kids during my teenage years did all kinds of rambunctious over-the-top shit – myself included. So I really shouldn’t have been so surprised by this, but my body cringed involuntarily anyway. All of it felt sleazy and icky. I caught Hector’s eyes on me, noticing my reaction with this smug look in his eye. I glared back, cursing him with my eyes, but that only seemed to feast on his ego, until I could do nothing but turn away entirely. It was becoming habitual at this point, the whole act of looking away from his sexist ass.

I could feel Borden’s anger rolling off of him, and his hand around mine tightened. He growled orders at Graeme, and suddenly the man was standing on the other side of me, keeping me boxed in between both of them. I found it slightly ironic that Borden would be protecting me from bikers he was now depending on to keep me safe if the situation arose. I almost wanted to say something about it.

“When they’re drunk, they’re not very manageable,” Graeme suddenly told me. “But they are very friendly when you’re on their side.”

He was right. The second Hector announced to them their deal had gone through, the men were infinitely more approachable. None of them paid me any attention as they greeted Borden, and they did so very mindful of their behaviour. I felt my body loosen in relief. But Borden’s grip around my hand didn’t slacken. He seemed more charged, his jaw locked tight, his eyes hard. I think it really dawned on him what he’d just done.

He looked like a man who’d just sold his soul to the devil.

And it felt like it was all my fault.

Emma

Cold.

That’s what I was.

Just…cold.

I was thankful to escape the club after a brief walk around with Borden. It was a silent ride back. I didn’t look at him as Graeme drove us to his place, but I could feel his eyes on me, burning me. I knew if I met them, I’d feel that pulsing desire I had for him, and right now it felt wrong to feel that way.

I feared him, and at the same time, my heart was heavy with need for him. I was so conflicted, mostly because I knew how wrong it was for me to care for him. Tonight was the first time I’d seen beyond the curtain of his…
activities
. He’d let me in, just like that, and it was so purposeful that I had to wonder what his motives were.

We rode the elevator in silence. He had his hands in his pockets, still studying me from the corner of his eye. He sensed my mood and was keeping a distance. I was grateful for it.

Then we finally made it to his place. It was luxurious. The modern penthouse he owned was fifty-two hundred square feet, with floor to ceiling windows, half a dozen bedrooms and a kitchen that at first left me breathless in its degree of elegance; it was very ying-yang with its light marble countertops and tall dark cabinets. We usually sat around the island on our barstools in the morning, chatting while I made my “feral” coffee. Then we’d move to the lounge, another area with warm colours, but still fairly clinical. I tried to feel at home here, and it worked for a while when I was with him, but walking into the place now, I just felt out of it.

It was nothing like my crappy little unit that took fifteen steps to walk from one corner to the other. The bathroom didn’t have my cracked shower head that spurted out water from half of the holes, leaving me huddled in one corner for a century just to have my hair soaked. I didn’t hear police sirens at night, or men brawling on the streets during the weekend, or the air brakes of a bus stopping at five in the morning, disrupting my sleep.

My life had drastically changed, and it was only tonight that I truly realized the magnitude of that.

He said something about making a phone call before disappearing into one of the rooms. I didn’t take off my jacket or even my shoes as I walked to the large windows. I looked out into the night sky, at all the stars almost entirely obscured by the clouds, and then at the river shimmering under the moonlight.

A shiver wracked my body just then as I tried to visualize a naked body in the waters. For the hundredth time since I got here, the same thought swirled in my mind.

Why is his home overlooking the river Kate died in?

It had been a shock to me initially, and now I was just curious. Did he think of her every time he looked out? And how many times had I watched him look out in the first place?

Dozens.
I answered myself.
Dozens
of times.

I frowned and shook my head. I was tired. Everything would feel normal again in the morning. I was jumping from one thought to the other, paranoia eating me on the inside sparked by that conversation in the office.

Marcus Borden was a bad man, but I knew that already. I accepted it. I just didn’t expect to
hear
it.

“What’s getting at you, doll?”

His voice startled me. I turned around and found him standing feet away from me, looking briefly over my shoulder and then back at me. We stared at each other for a few overdrawn moments. Then he raised his brows, waiting for my response.

“You already know,” I finally muttered.

He didn’t flinch, or react. “You have something on your mind?” he asked me calmly. “Let it out.”

I sighed, defeated. “Why did you make me hear all that?”

“Would you have preferred I kept you in the dark?”

I went to say yes, and then hesitated. I wasn’t even sure what my answer was because of course I would have wanted to know and yet…I didn’t like what I felt after knowing.

Again, clusterfuck.

“You’re close to me now, Emma,” he then said, his eyes searching mine. “You have to know who you’re with.”

“And what if I don’t like who I’m with?” I blurted out without thinking.

He went still, a flash of pain marring his face before he masked his emotions. That look alone made me want to quickly take those words back and kiss his pain away.

“Borden –”

“You told me you knew what you were doing when you wanted this,” he cut in.

“That was before you admitted to murdering those men!”

He scoffed at me. “Don’t be naïve, and don’t you fucking lie to yourself either. You always fucking knew, Emma, and deep inside it never bothered you. That was justice –”

“Sounds more like revenge.”

“Sometimes they’re the same.” He took a step closer to me, his eyes hard on mine. “You know you’d have walked the same path. If someone you loved was taken away viciously before their time and without reason, you’d have rained havoc on the fuckers responsible.
Don’t lie to yourself.
Revenge and justice work hand in hand when you want it to. Those fuckers didn’t deserve to breathe, and the streets are better for it now they’re gone. That’s justice, restoring balance in the world. Better justice than having them sit in a prison cell, getting their three square meals a day and a bed to sleep on at night.

“Now being the personal one to put a bullet through their skulls after I knocked them around with my fists? That was
my
taste of revenge, and I don’t take a single second of it back. I’d do it again, and I will, when I find the people responsible for threatening the life of someone that is
mine
… regardless if that someone doesn’t
like
me.”

Guilt filled my chest.

“Borden,” I started contritely, “I didn’t mean that.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I know you didn’t. I get it. You’re frightened of me. You’re frightened of what I’m capable of, but you shouldn’t be. I’m not capable of hurting you. I feel too much when I’m around you. The mere thought of putting a finger on you in a way that you don’t deserve makes me sick to my stomach. You shouldn’t fear
me
. I’m the last human being on this earth
you
should fear. You gut me. You fucking turn me inside out, Emma. No harm will ever come to you by my hands. I’m simply incapable.”

I swallowed hard at his words. I believed him. I knew in my heart he would never harm me. “In my heart I know that, but…hearing all of that tonight was overwhelming for me, Marcus.”

He shut his eyes briefly as I spoke his name. He liked when I did it, and I didn’t do it often enough.

“You could have told me everything without me being there,” I added.

“No,” he disagreed. “I wanted you to witness it.”

“Why?”

“To give you an idea of what I do. You’re part of my world now, doll, and I’m not letting you out. Remember, I latch, and I’ve latched pretty fucking deep. I needed you to know the threat, to understand just how dangerous being with me can be. But also that I’ll go to the ends of the fucking earth to make sure nothing will happen to you. And mark my words, Emma,
nothing
will ever happen to you.”

My heart squeezed in my chest. I couldn’t deny he’d done it for me. But… “You did something you didn’t want to do,” I whispered to him, blinking back tears. “You didn’t want those bikers in. You didn’t
have
to do it, Borden. You really didn’t.”

He frowned and moved even closer to me. I hadn’t even realized how close to me he was until he was completely in front of me, his body nearly touching mine.

Looking down at me, he explained, “The more people I have on my side, the better I can protect you. When you’ve got something to lose, everything changes. You’re right, I didn’t want to give them the port, but my want for
you
outweighs that. Can’t you see that?”

I nodded. “Yes, I can see that now, but…”

“But what?”

“I guess I needed to hear it. That you care about me.”

That you love me.

Pressing his front against mine, he cupped my cheek, tracing his thumb along the outline of my face and to my long hair. He combed through it with his eyes pinned to the long strands running through his fingers. His warmth enveloped me, quieting my fears. I sank into him, pressing my face against his chest before he wrapped his arms around me.

“This isn’t easy for me,” he whispered in my ear, running his fingers down my spine, leaving tingles behind. “I’ve never been in a real relationship before. I’m trying, and despite all that you heard, I’m the same dick that chased after you, that forced you to work for me, that scared off that lady-boy that thought he could pack cock gloves in his wallet like he had a chance with you. I did all that while trying to get my head wrapped around the strange addiction you are to me.”

An addiction. I was an addiction to him, just as he was to me. It felt damn good hearing it. “Don’t forget what you did to Joel,” I murmured.

“He was dining with a woman I wanted, and he had seedy intentions that would make you hurl on the spot. The little dick deserved what he got.”

I didn’t want to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. I shook in his grip, stifling the sound as best I could. Pulling away, I looked up at him and saw the amusement in his eyes, but also a softness I was slowly getting used to. Like the flip of a switch, I felt better. It should have unsettled me how fast he could reverse my emotions, but I was grateful for his ability. It meant he didn’t frighten me anymore. Not in this moment, anyway. My heart didn’t care what he did. It was too busy enjoying the high of him. And maybe that was wrong, but my feelings didn’t operate on right and wrong these days.

He dropped his head to mine and kissed me. It was another soft, heart melting kiss, one that made my body drunk on lust. His tongue darted out, lapping at mine languidly. He stole my breath away, sucking it out of me and into his lungs, kissing me deeper as the seconds passed. Then he pulled back, his chest rising and falling faster as he stared into my eyes with
that
look again. “Come on,” he whispered, taking my hand. “Let’s go to bed.”

My body unwound from tonight’s events as he led me all the way there with my hand in his. Once we were inside the dark room, he let go of my hand and turned to me. He was a large silhouette in front of me, already dominating the room with his sinister presence as he trailed his eyes over me.

“Put your arms up,” Borden softly demanded.

I did as I was told and he moved closer to me. With a kiss on top of my nose, he carefully peeled my top off and let it drop beside our feet. I felt his finger trail the curve of my breasts, and when he reached the middle, he dug two fingers in my bra and pulled out my concealed switchblade. I saw his devilish smirk in the dark, and he muttered, “That’s my girl,” before tossing it on the dresser nearby.

He unclasped my bra, giving me another swift kiss, this time on the corner of my mouth before he let that too drop. He didn’t cup my breasts or touch me sexually. He simply bent down and proceeded to pull my jeans off of me. I watched him with a small, inquisitive smile.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Stripping my woman naked,” he answered, proceeding with my underwear. “What else does it look like?”

His hands roamed delicately down my legs, bringing the underwear to my ankles. I felt his hot breaths on my inner thigh, and for a moment he stared at my sex. I waited for him to do something, like bury his face between my legs with his hot wet mouth, grab me by the hips, or…
something
! Instead, he pulled away and stood back up, leaving me completely nude and…a little disappointed.