Brush of Shade (29 page)

Yup, she was
mad. I took my time putting an earring in while trying to think of a way to make
things right. “That’s not the only reason I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse
you of not caring. Lately I can’t stay afloat if you know what I mean?”

“I suppose I do.
But it hurts all the same.” She sniffed. “Now don’t you cry,
too.
You’ll have to fix your makeup and there’s no time for that. I just want you to
open yourself to the possibility that it’s okay to be happy here. Don’t let
events that happened before you were born influence your
perceptions.
I realize the wounds from your parents’ murder are still fresh, and I’ve
probably bungled the whole adjustment to the valley. But you have to apply some
effort here, too. Folks are naturally sympathetic, but they’ve families to
worry about. They need to see their futures are secure. Tradition will carry the
valley only so far.”

She contemplated
the contents of the cookie tin and then turned it over, dumping the last half
dozen spritz cookies onto the stack. “Encourage Trent to eat his fill.”

“Two plates
worth? Even for him that might be too much. When did you find time to make so
many varieties?” I asked, counting at least eleven different types of cookies.

She smiled
sheepishly. “Actually, I haven’t made any. These have been left at our door the
last few days. They look yummy don’t they?
Fattening, too.
We’ve got another seven tins up in the cabinet. I’m going to have to schedule
time at the gym after the holidays.”

“Me, too,” I
mumbled then swallowed the bite of the chewy, chocolate thumbprint cookie with
its sweet strawberry jam center. “Don’t people think we can bake?”

“Tradition.
In times past the warden and his family
entertained constantly throughout the season. We’d have theme parties for the
children, sponsor sleigh rides, and even host formal dinners in appreciation
for the efforts of the elders and council members. This year, the cookies just
started arriving again. I think
it’s
folks way of
letting us know that we’re in their hearts. No, don’t cry.
Oh
dear.”

My aunt cast
around the room. Her gaze alighted on a box sitting on the coffee table. The lines
around her eyes crinkled when she said cheerily, “Shade left you something. He
said you were to open it when you woke up.”

“Do you know
what’s in it?” I asked as I tore off the wrapping paper.

“No idea. He
said it was something you could take with you when you go away to college next
year. But he wanted you to have it now. He said something else about you having
missed out for too long and this should start you out until you were ready for
more.”

Curious, I
flipped open the flaps on the side marked ‘This side up’ in a bold red marker.
Beneath a layer of tissue paper I unearthed a two-foot,
prelit
Christmas tree complete with a box of miniature ornaments. After everything
that happened yesterday, I’d forgotten that today was Christmas Eve. I clutched
the ornament box to my stomach and sucked on my lower lip.

“Is there
something I’m missing?” Aunt Claire asked, watching my expression.

 “We
stopped doing a lot of things after Danny died,” I answered, my voice the
barest whisper.

“When I read
between the lines in your dad’s letters, I could tell he was struggling. I
should’ve visited more. Now I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“Dad loved his
work, so burying himself in it wasn’t exactly a hardship. Mom filled her days
with charity work when I went off to boarding school. Holidays became
educational destinations. It wasn’t until we transferred back to D.C. that we
stopped running. A smattering of decorations went up for show, but no tree.”

“Where should we
put it?” she asked, trying hard to cover the hint of tears in her voice.

“Next to the fireplace.”

The ornaments
took only a couple of minutes to hang. We were done by the time Trent was
pulling in the drive.

“It looks a bit
lost,” Aunt Claire said as we stood back to examine our handiwork. “Maybe we
should put it on the dining room table.

“But I like the
idea of a tree in the living room.”

“So do
I
,” she said, hugging me. “I had to convince Dr. Long to let
you come home last night. So take it easy today. Now go answer the door while I
make myself scarce.”

I waited until she
was up the stairs before doing as she suggested. “Hi,” I said with little
enthusiasm.

There was a
slight pause while Trent glanced into the dining room and up the stairs,
rocking on the balls of his feet. “I guess you’re still angry. Sometimes my dad
can be overbearing. Usually just with me not company. I don’t know what got
into him. You know parents.” He backed into the door jam with his lips still
parted. “I shouldn’t have said that. What a jerk.”

“Don’t beat
yourself up about,
that
,” I replied, my tone still unfriendly.

“Uh.”
His brows dipped. “I had this all worked out in my
head. Maybe I should try coming in again.”

“It depends on
what else you’ve got to say.” I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. The blank
look on his face didn’t help his case. “Next time you and your girlfriend
should get a room.”

“Who Maggie?
That’s what you’re mad about? I told you it
didn’t mean anything. She just wanted to hang out.”

“I saw her
definition of
hanging out
. You didn’t seem to mind.”

“Come on, don’t be
like that. She invited herself along. What was I supposed to do, be rude? I’d
rather have been with you, but my mom told me to give you a couple days to get
used to everything. I’m sorry if you thought I was ignoring you.” He stepped
all the way through the door and put his hands around my waist. “You’re the
only girl I want to date. Forgive me.” He kissed the tip of my nose and gave me
a hopeful smile. “Please?”

He looked so
upset that I decided to let it slide, this time. Life, as I’d discovered, was too
short to hold a grudge. “Alright, I forgive you. But there better not be a next
time.” I ignored the part about me being the only girl he wanted to date. After
my last break up, I had trust issues. I needed. . . Shade’s face came to mind.
Forget it. Talk about complicated. I took Trent’s hand and said, “Come on in;
have some cookies.”

“You’re not
going to make me squirm all day or give me the silent treatment? Wow, Bradley
forgot to pick up his girlfriend from work, and she broke up with him.” He
kissed me on the lips this time. “I got you an awesome Christmas present.
You’re going to love it.”

 I forced a
smile onto my face. My cheery mood had deflated. Geez, I needed some happy
moments to squish those bad ones off to the side. The tiny blinking tree in the
corner of the room brought a real smile to my face the kind that shines deep in
your eyes. “Actually, there is one thing you could do for me.”

“Name it,” he
mumbled, biting the foot off a snowman cookie that smelled of molasses and
ginger.

“Drive me over
to the tree lot in town. I want to get some garland for the railings as a
surprise for my aunt.”

“Okay,” he said,
sounding relieved. “My folks said I can have a New Year’s Eve party. Do you
think your aunt will let you come? I’ve got a DJ lined up. The entire junior
and senior classes are invited. Please say you’ll come. It won’t be the same
without you.”

Kicking off the
new year
at the Cassidy ranch sounded like an omen to me. I
just wasn’t sure which kind. I stalled. “I have to clear it with my aunt. All
that craziness on the slope shoved her into full parental mode. I’m supposed to
report in constantly,” I said, sighing dramatically.

He grabbed my
hand, and in a husky voice said, “But you’ve got to come. I don’t want to start
off the year with anyone else.”

 I couldn’t
say no to that. Besides, I needed some good old fashioned fun. “Alright, I’ll
convince her.”

He leaned down
and with one finger tipped my chin up. The kiss was tender and very sweet. The
pad of his thumb stroked my cheek. “You’re one big bruise. I’m afraid to hold
you. I wasn’t too rough was I?”

“It was perfect.
But I’ll tell my aunt that you’re afraid to hold me, that’ll be a great selling
point for the party.”
Great will power.
One kiss,
alright one excellent kiss and I’m ready to step into the lion’s den.

In keeping with
the season, an explosion of candy canes, shaped out of holiday colored wires,
was sticking out of Hattie’s bun. Dressed in a forest green tunic she looked
like an elf who’d sipped too much eggnog. “Got my receipt? Remember ask for
Amber. She placed my special order.”

I tugged on my
fur trimmed gloves, and then patted a pocket on my navy blue
peacoat
. “Yes, ma’am,” I answered, suppressing a sigh.

“Quit nagging.
That’s the third time you’ve told her in the last twenty minutes,” Shade called
from the door. “I don’t know why you’re insisting that Olivia goes to the
hardware store. It’s freezing out. She doesn’t need to be out in that. I’m
perfectly capable of getting everything on your list. I’ve been picking up your
orders for months now. I’ve heard no complaints.”

 “I’m not
nagging. And this is my store. I’ll send whoever I darn well
please
,”
Hattie answered.

“But I have to
go regardless. I’m the driver,” Shade replied, allowing a touch of irritation
to show in his voice.

 “Come on,
Shade,” I said, squeezing past him. “Get while the going is good before she
launches into another one of her, ‘I can see clear over the other side of the
mountain’ tirades.”

“You too, Olivia?
Shade
Grisland
,
you’re a bad influence,” Hattie scolded, shaking her pliers at Shade while he
grinned through the glass window of the closed back door.

“Thanks to you,
she’s going to have a nasty chore waiting for me,” he grumbled.

I smiled
innocently up into his face. “Think of it as character building,”

We drove with
the radio on, neither of us inclined to speak now that we were alone. In my
case, I couldn’t forget the ember that had burned for that brief sweet moment
in time deep in the pit of my stomach.
Soul Oath.
Bound.
If the oath accounted for what I’d felt, what would
happen to that ember if given a chance to ignite? Would it burn through me
until I had no choice other than to be bound unequivocally to Shade’s soul,
like I was some mindless drone? Is that what he was afraid of, and why he was
so careful to keep us solidly in the friend or worse brother/sister category? I
squirmed in my seat, wishing there was a reason for him to hug me so I could
see if it would happen again while on the other hand, wishing Hattie hadn’t
been so insistent that I come.

We turned off
the residential street and onto the highway bordering the west side of town.
Clusters of brightly painted stores with their flashing, tourist catching signs
made up the core business district that one normally associated with civilization.
Compared to the charm of Main Street—for which I was beginning to feel a
surprising fondness—the sleeker lined structures appeared garish and out of
place in front of nature’s snow covered canvas that kept the broader world from
encroaching too closely.

In Spring
Valley’s defense, the business district didn’t amount to more than two gas
stations one at either end of the street, a grocery store, an ice cream shop
attached to a miniature golf course, the local bowling alley, a generic looking
fast-food hamburger shop, a family diner, and a tiny roadside park complete
with a cluster of picnic tables set beneath a pair of cottonwood trees
alongside shiny new playground equipment. The last marker of civilization was
our destination, the hardware store. It was part feed and grain, and part auto
parts supplier while doubling as a nursery during the warmer months. Like
usual, when we drove the four whole blocks I was looking for more.

Shade turned the
radio off. “You’re frowning. Is something the matter?”

“Not really. I
keep expecting to see multiplexes and jumbo supermarkets. Would it be so bad if
we had a clothing store of some kind?”

He smiled
indulgently as he would for a little kid. “We have a clothes shop on Main
Street.”

“Filled with tourist T-shirts and hats.
That’s not what I
had in mind.”

“We don’t have a
need for your fancy, east coast boutiques with designer labels.”

“Don’t put words
in my mouth. I was just thinking it would be nice to have someplace to bum
around, you know someplace with racks of clothes that you try on for the fun of
it,” I replied just as a passing truck splattered street slush across the
windshield. I hunched down in my seat, fingers gripping my thighs while wipers
slapped back and forth smearing the glass.

“Hey,” Shade
said, touching my cheek. “It’s just a little snow. So you want a mall.”

 Slowly my
shoulders rolled back. Staring straight ahead, I yanked out my high pony tail
and took my time fixing it until my fingers stopped trembling. “You say mall
like it’s a plague on society.”

“Now that you
mention it, that’s exactly what it is with all those folks buzzing around from
shop to shop, harangued mom’s dragging along whining, tired kids that can’t
behave, and teenagers with nothing better to do with their time than to cause
trouble. Yup, I see your point we need a mall.”

“You’re a snob.”

“Me?”

“Seems like the
shoe fits. What’s wrong with convenience?
Salida
isn’t exactly a quick outing and Grand Junction takes hours to get to when
you’re in the mood for a serious shopping expedition.”

“It’s an
adventure. Oh, don’t roll your eyes. Now who’s the snob, miss I’ve traveled all
over the world. Compared to Europe’s grand, historic cities Spring Valley is
small and dull. I bet you shudder at the thought of growing old here.”

“You’re offended
because I don’t look at this town and think it’s perfect. Ever heard of
progress? So I look at things differently, is that so bad? Hattie says my dad
organized the local farms and ranches into co-ops to give them more buying
power and put together the funding to improve the clinic. Didn’t he head the
committee that supervised the new fitness center?”

“Among other things.”

“Exactly.
He had vision. Not all change is bad.”

“Not a mall,”
Shade grimaced. “I’ll make you a deal. If you need to shop, I’ll take you
anytime you want to Grand Junction. Just keep the malls out of Spring Valley. I
like our slower pace. I like knowing everyone’s name and the history that goes
with a small, close-knit community. I guess I like feeling connected.”

“No malls then,”
I agreed, grinning out the window.

“I should make
you walk for that.”

The truck turned
into the parking lot. “Too late we’re here.” I laughed.

I waited for
Shade to come around the truck to open my door. Yes, I was banged up and still
favoring my leg, but we both knew his real reason. Fifty years from now I
expected to still be uncomfortable with his show of respect for his warden.
Even at a human pace his long legs quickly covered the distance. When I sucked
in my lips the moment I settled my weight on my left leg, the sparkle went out
in his eyes, reminding me of the other reason for his attention.

With his stride
matching mine, Shade angled us across the parking lot and past the ATM machine,
Spring Valley’s concession to tourist and the outside world. Once we reached
the store entrance, he took a firm grip of my arm until he’d scanned those
patrons and employees within sight while on a mental level he was probably
conversing with the owner. It was his job. Intellectually I knew this, but
despite reassurances, I imagined lurking behind curious glances someone
secretly plotting my demise. Unconsciously I pressed closer to Shade,
rethinking this adventure.

He whispered in
my ear so only I would hear, “I believe Owen keeps a supply of work shirts,
heavy jeans, and boots along the back wall in case you feel the urge to try on
clothes.”

I could’ve
hugged him for helping me see honest, friendly folks and not monsters. To let
him know I was alright, I said in a playful voice, “Thanks, maybe I’ll try on a
stack or two. The later we are the longer Hattie’s special chore list gets.”

“Sorry to
disappoint, but you’re going to have to hold off on sprucing up your city gal
wardrobe. I’ve got somewhere to be after work. I can’t be late. That’s Amber
behind the customer service counter. Go fetch, and be nice about it,” he said,
giving me a gentle nudge. “If you need me, I’ll be in the back loading Hattie’s
pipe order into the truck.”

The air leaked
out of my happy balloon. Where was he running off to? With considerably less
energy, I wound my way past collapsible shovels, a shelf filled with
anti-freeze, and a display of car fresheners that smelled like a crate of
oranges had exploded.

“Hi, Hattie sent
me over,” I said, spreading Hattie’s crumpled receipt onto the counter. At the
sound of my voice, Amber swiveled around in her chair. “Hey,” I said in
surprise. “Aren’t we in the same American Government class? You sit over by the
windows, right?”

“You noticed
me?” Amber gushed, her pale ivory cheeks turning a vivid shade of Christmas red
matching her holiday sweatshirt of Rudolf and Santa decorating a tree. “Sorry,
that was sort of lame. Normally I don’t sound like I’m trying to get a
celebrity’s
autograph
.”

“That’s okay. I’m
sorry for not making it back to the yearbook meetings.”

 “I don’t
blame you; the other girls were awful. I’ve tried to get up the nerve to tell
you it’s not too late to submit photos or help out if you still want to, but .
. . Trent’s always—”

“Monopolizing my
attention?”

“Something
like
that,” she replied, ducking her head, so her white
blonde hair fell in front of her baby blue eyes. “Some of the kids thought
you’d think we were hicks, what with all your world traveling.”

That line was
getting old and apparently in my way. “Do I really strike everyone as a rich,
self-important snob?”

“No!” she
exclaimed, looking up, her gaze not quite meeting my eyes. She bit her lower
lip, grabbed a pile of flyers off the counter, and stuffed them into a bin on
the counter behind her back. When she turned back around, she held a box
labeled with Hattie’s name. “Some of us weren’t sure how to approach you. It’s
not like we didn’t want to. It’s just that we didn’t want it to look like we
only wanted to be your friend because of who you are.”

“So nobody
talked to me,” I said, missing
JoAnna
and our
cultural explorations of D.C. that was actually code for hot guy watching. I
really should call her. If I left out all the parts I couldn’t talk about, what
else was there to say? Crafty, old Hattie sees quite well, I realized, struck
by how lonely I’d been. “Trent’s sweet and all, but I’ve missed girl talk.”

“Really?
He is so hot and so into you.”

“Are you with
anyone?”

“
Dereck
,
he’s on the track team.” She lowered her voice. “He’s a plodder.”

“A what?”

“A normal, you
know human.” Her mouth snapped shut and she concentrated on flattening the
receipt with the side of her hand.

“Up until I
moved here my favorite people were human, or so I thought.” The wall over her
shoulder was lined with green tubs filled with assorted sizes of screws and
washers. I was at a loss how to use them in a sentence to keep the conversation
going. I had visions of a repeat of the bonfire fiasco.

“Whisperer
hearing is better than human,” she said so low that I had to strain to hear.

Like her, I
checked out who was nearby and whispered, “And you’re afraid of being
overheard?”

“I’m not
supposed to say plodder. It’s quite the insult.
Dereck
doesn’t mind. He’s one of the few kids from pure human families in the valley
that know about us. He thinks it’s funny. You know a plodder on a track team
from a high school with kids that could run circles around any track record.”

“I got it. I’m
fine with it if he is.”

“Whew, I thought
I’d insulted you.” She smiled and went back to ringing up Hattie’s order.

An idea occurred
to me. I fidgeted with the leather strap of my purse, twisting it into loops
while weighing the prospect of rejection. I had to clear my throat before I
could speak. “If I were to get us a ride into
Salida
or Grand Junction to hit the after holiday sales, would you like to come? You
could ask a couple of your friends if you like,” I offered, envisioning Shade’s
reaction to a mall outing with a group of giggling, boy-crazy, high school
girls.

“Really?
I was going to ask
Dereck
,
but he complains about how long it takes me to try something on. He has the
patience of a two-year-old. Becky might come; she sits in front of me in class.
And Amanda, she sits next to me, she’ll come for sure. Let me know when. Who’s
your driver, Trent? Would he take us in one of his sports cars?” she asked,
tapping the keys on the register with more energy.

“Shade
Grisland
offered,” I said absently, already making plans.

“Shade!
Oh my, God!”

“Is that a
problem?”

“Not unless you’ve
got something against a guy who is stop my heart gorgeous. And he’s a diamond
level
viber
. They don’t come any finer than him. Over
Thanksgiving break, I was teaching the newbies class, the pearls and jades, how
to vibe ski. Even the bunny slope can be pretty scary when you’re still
mastering conscious control on flat, dry land. I was considering pulling a
couple of the younger pearls from the class when out of the blue, Shade
vibed
over. He gave up an entire afternoon of perfect vibe
conditions to work alongside the kids.” She sighed clearly taken with all
things Shade. Her voice dropped to a whisper and she crooked her finger
signaling me to lean in closer. “Don’t tell anyone when Shade comes here every
month to pick up Hattie’s
order,
I make Owen, my boss,
promise to let me wait on him.”