Courage to Love (Flynn Family Saga) (4 page)

Flynn sighed.  “All right.  But be careful.”

“I will.”  She touched her belly reverently.  “I will, little one,” she whispered.

*  *  *

They followed the course of the Platte.  The river was low.  Flynn began to scout every day.  He hated being away from Maggie, but he knew that this was the best way to keep her safe.

Her and their baby.

Then, the rain began.  It pounded on his hat and sluiced off his canvas trail coat.  By the time he reached Fort Kearny, he was drenched.  He stayed just long enough to feed Wakta and pick up the mail.  Then, he rode back to the wagon train.  The line was stopped.  Panic bit him, as sharp as a wolf’s teeth.  He galloped down the line.  He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was just the Worthington wagon, stuck in the mud.

Jed Barrett was already there, organizing a group of men to help push the wagon free.  Maggie rode up to the crowd and dismounted.

Flynn grabbed her arm and shook his head.  “No, Maggie!  Not this time!”

Maggie looked down at her belly and nodded.

Flynn limped over to the crew.  He put his back to the wagon and helped push.  Rain poured from his hat and down his neck.  The wagon lurched—and rolled back.  He heard a scream of pain, and for a moment, he was back on Mount Dolorosa as Scout, his chestnut stallion, slid over the edge.  He heard Scout scream as his cannon bone snapped, and he felt his own pain as Scout’s body crushed his leg.

“Flynn?”  Maggie touched his arm.

Shivering, Flynn pushed himself away from the wagon.

Jed Barrett lay face down in the mud, with the axle across his back.

Maggie ran to him.  She organized the men to lever up the wagon, and then she dragged Jed out from under it.  Ben and Frank lifted Jed and carried him into the Barrett wagon.

Abby knelt beside him.  “Oh, Jed.”

He tried to speak and couldn’t.  He closed his eyes.  His breathing was labored.

Maggie climbed into the wagon.  She examined him.  Then, she touched Abby’s shoulder.  “Stay with him, Abby.  We’ll stay here for as long—as long as you need.”

Abby nodded.  She turned and took her husband’s hand.  “You old fool!”

Jed smiled weakly.

Flynn helped Maggie out of the wagon.  Then, he went back to the Worthington wagon.  He put his back to the wheel again.  “All right, on my count: one, two, three!”

They heaved, and the wagon wheel broke free with a horrible sucking sound.  Samantha slapped the reins on the horses’ backs, and the wagon lurched forward.  As soon as the wagon was safe, Samantha climbed down.  “How is he, Mr. Flynn?”  She looked genuinely concerned.

Flynn shook his head.  “It’s bad, Mrs. Worthington.”

Samantha nodded.  “I’m sorry.”  She looked back at the Barrett wagon.  “Is there anything I can do?”

Flynn shrugged.  “You can pray, Mrs. Worthington.”

Samantha nodded.

Flynn turned and limped back to the Barrett wagon.

Maggie came to him.  She chewed her lower lip.

“Maggie, we need to keep moving,” he said gently.

Maggie hesitated.  “No.  Sam wouldn’t abandon them.”

“Maggie, he
has
left people behind,” Flynn said gently.  “When there was no other choice.  He wouldn’t let me chase after the Vaughns, remember?”

Maggie sighed.  “You’re right.”  Tears shone in her eyes.  “Flynn, do you think you could run the train for a day or two?  It won’t be any longer than that.”

Flynn squeezed her shoulder.  “I think Ben could handle it for a day or two.  I’m not leaving you alone.”

Maggie shut her eyes.  “Thank you.”  She opened them and climbed into the Barrett wagon.

CHAPTER
THREE

That night, Maggie and Flynn slept outside the Barrett wagon.  Maggie lay for a long time staring at the stars.  Flynn simply held her.  Eventually, they fell asleep.  A cry woke Maggie.  She got up instantly and climbed into the wagon.

Abby sat with her head bowed, holding Jed’s hand.

His eyes stared at the canvas wagon top without seeing it.

Maggie touched Abby’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry.”

Abby smiled wanly at her.  “It’s not your fault, Maggie.”

Maggie nodded.  “Do you want some time alone with him?”

Abby nodded.

Maggie sighed.  “Come and get me when you’re ready to prepare his body.”

Abby’s breath caught.  “Do we have to bury him here?  In this godforsaken spot?”

Maggie nodded again.  “I’m sorry, Abby.  But we can’t take him with us to San Francisco.”

Abby took a deep breath and composed herself.  “Of course we can’t.  I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Maggie smiled sadly.  “You just lost your husband.  You’re not supposed to think.  You’re supposed to mourn.”

Abby looked at Maggie for a long time.  “Now how did a girl like you get so wise so young?”

Maggie looked away.  “A combination of joy and sorrow, Abby, like everyone else.”

Abby touched her hand gently.  “Yes, but it makes some folks bitter.”

Maggie turned back to her and smiled.  “Sam adopted me when my parents died.  He is—everything they say about him is true.  He’s strong and wise and kind and tough and loving all rolled into one.  And his wife, Kate, is just the same only gentler.  I was very lucky, Abby.”

Abby squeezed her hand.  “Yes, you were.  Just give me a few minutes with him.”

Maggie nodded and squeezed back.  “Take as long as you like, Abby.”

“Thank you.”  Abby turned to her husband.

Outside, the sky was clear and free of clouds.  Maggie looked up at the Milky Way and started to cry.

Flynn came over to her and put his arms around her.

But for the first time, his touch didn’t comfort her.

It couldn’t bring back Jed Barrett.

*  *  *

Maggie and Flynn rode back to the train in silence.  The Barrett wagon rattled forlornly after them.  When they were a few yards away from the Worthington wagon, Henry ran toward them.  “Mrs. Flynn!”  He drew a deep breath.  “Mrs. Flynn, it’s Samantha!  She’s—something’s wrong.  She’s bleeding, and it won’t stop!”

Maggie rubbed her eyes wearily.  She ran to the Worthington wagon and climbed into the back.  Samantha lay on the bed.  The sheets were soaked in blood.  Henry stuck his head in the wagon.  He looked as bad as his wife.  Maggie drew a deep breath.  “Get Frank.  Tell him to boil water.  Lots of it.”  With an effort, she kept her voice calm.

Henry nodded.

Samantha stared at Maggie in terror.  “What’s wrong with me?”

Maggie took her hand.  “Did you know that you were with child?”

Samantha’s face turned beet red.  “A lady doesn’t talk about such things.”

Maggie sighed.  “Do you want to die?”

“No!”

Maggie nodded.  “All right.  Did you know you were with child?”

Samantha nodded and looked away.

“How long?  How long has it been?”

“Four months.  Maybe five.”

Maggie took her hand.  “It’s going to be all right, Samantha.  But you’re going to have to trust me.  I’m going to do things that, well, a real lady wouldn’t do.  Do you trust me, Samantha?”

Samantha looked back at her and nodded.

Gently, Maggie pushed Samantha’s feet onto the bed so her knees were up.  She put a pillow under Samantha’s hips.  Then, she spread Samantha’s legs and applied pressure to stop the bleeding.

Abby climbed into the wagon.  “Do you need help?”

Maggie bit her lip.  “Are you sure you’re up to it?”

Abby nodded.  “There’s nothing I can do for Jed now.”

“All right.  Start a fire.  When Frank brings the water, keep it hot.  We may need packing.  Do you have any old sheets?”

Abby shook her head.

“I do.  In the supply wagon.  Frank will show you where they are.  Get them, and tear them into squares for packing.  Then boil them."

Abby nodded again.  “Maggie?”

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?”

Maggie nodded.  “Now go.”

Abby left them alone.

Samantha’s eyes were glazed with pain.  “That hurts.”

“I know, honey, but I have to keep pressure on it until the bleeding stops.”

“My—my baby?”

Maggie drew a deep breath.  “One thing at a time.  Let’s get the bleeding stopped first, all right?”

Samantha nodded.

An hour later, the bleeding stopped.  Maggie packed the uterus with sterile linen.  She sat back on her haunches.

Samantha was pale, but she was still alive.  “Mrs. Flynn?”

Maggie smiled faintly.  “I think you can start calling me Maggie, don’t you?”

Samantha nodded.  “Maggie?  Is my baby...?”

Maggie drew a deep breath.  “Samantha, I’m sorry.  The baby was gone by the time I got here.”

Samantha turned away.  “Get out of here!  This is your fault!”

Maggie stroked Samantha’s hair.  “I need to stay.  The bleeding could start up again.”

“I don’t care!  I want to die!”

Maggie slapped her.

Samantha put a shaking hand to her face.  “You—you hit me!”

Maggie nodded.  “I know you’ve been through a lot.  I know how you feel, but—”

“No, you don’t!  You never had a child!”

Maggie bit her lip.  “You’re right.  I don’t know how you feel.  I’m sorry.”  She stroked Samantha’s damp hair back from her face.  “You’re in shock from lack of blood, and you’re grieving your child.  So is your husband.  So please, don’t make it any harder on him by threatening to take your own life.”

Samantha nodded.  She turned back to Maggie.  “I’m so scared, Maggie.  Everything is so different from what I thought it would be.  It’s cold and wet and hot and dry and the wind never stops.  And now I lost my baby, and my mother is a thousand miles away.”

Maggie put her arms around the girl and held her and let her cry.

Samantha clung to her.

Finally, Samantha’s sobs subsided.  “I’m so ashamed.”

Maggie shook her head.  “Tears are nothing to be ashamed of.  And as for the other, let’s let that be our secret, just between you and me.  All right?”

Samantha nodded.  “Maggie?”

“Yes?”

“Could I—could I hold my baby?  Just for a moment?”

Maggie hesitated a moment.  Then, she nodded.  She cleaned off the tiny form and wrapped it in a blanket.  Then, she handed it to Samantha.

“A boy,” Samantha whispered.  “A little boy.”  She shut her eyes.  “We were going to call him Benjamin.”

Maggie’s throat tightened.  “You still can.  I—I could baptize him for you, if you like.”

Samantha nodded.

Maggie went to the back of the wagon.  “Henry?”

Henry Worthington came to the wagon with his hat in his hand.  “Samantha?”

Maggie drew a deep breath.  “She’s all right.  But your son...”

Henry bowed his head.

Maggie touched his shoulder.  “I—Samantha wants me to baptize him.”

Henry’s head jerked up.

Maggie swallowed hard.  “If that’s all right with you.”

Henry cleared his throat.  “It would be a comfort to me, Mrs. Flynn.  Thank you.”

Maggie nodded and went back into the wagon.

Henry took his wife’s hand.  He touched the pale, still face of his son.  Tears shone in his blue eyes.  He looked at Maggie.

Maggie picked up her old battered canteen.  She poured a few drops onto the child’s head.  “I baptize thee Benjamin Worthington in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

“Amen,” Henry whispered.

“Amen.”  Samantha’s voice sounded clear and strong in the confines of the wagon.

Maggie’s throat ached.  She climbed out of the wagon and went to the Barrett wagon.  She helped Abby prepare Jed’s body for burial.  Then, she dragged herself into the lead wagon and changed into her black dress.  She opened her trunk and took out the Bible Sam had given her.  Her tears fell on the page as she wrote Jed’s name in the book.  She hesitated, and then she wrote, “Benjamin Worthington.”  Maggie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and left the wagon.

Most of the travelers had already assembled at the gravesite.  Ben and Frank were already there.  Maggie drew a deep breath.  “Jed Barrett was a good man.  I’m sorry he was taken from us so soon.  He had a ready smile and a quick wit, and he was always willing to help his neighbor.  I do not have the power to bring him back, but I will try to honor his memory by living up to his example the best I can.  Benjamin Worthington was born too soon.  Our hearts go out to his parents, Henry and Samantha.  May God give them comfort.  Let us pray.”  Maggie waited for her flock to bow their heads.  “Father, we commend unto your care Jed Barrett and Benjamin Worthington.  Hold them in your loving hands, and please be with Abigail, Samantha and Henry.  Thank you.”

Ben and Frank laid Jed’s body reverently in the waiting grave.  Abby tossed the first clod into the grave.  She didn’t make a sound, but tears swam in her gray eyes.

They buried Samantha’s baby next to Jed.  Samantha was very pale, but she stood tall and straight as she threw the first clod into the grave.  Abby squeezed her arm gently.  “My Jed will look after your little boy.  Don’t you fret now.”

Samantha started to sob, and Abby held her gently.

Maggie winced as Ben and Frank began to shovel dirt into the graves.

Maggie brought Abby to Frank’s cook fire.  She poured Abby a cup of Frank’s coffee, hesitated and then thought better of it.  She brewed a pot of tea and poured it into a mug.  She put two lumps of sugar in the mug and stirred it.

“I don’t take sugar, Maggie.”

Maggie shook her head.  “You will this morning.”

Abby smiled wanly and sipped the sweet tea.  A little color came back into her face.  “You need rest, Maggie.”

Maggie nodded.  “I’m going to let Ben lead the train this morning, and I’ll sleep in the wagon for a few hours.”

“You need more than a few hours in your condition.”

Maggie stared at her.  “How did you know?”

Abby smiled faintly.  “I’m an old hand at birthing babies, Maggie.  I know the signs.  When are you due?”

“December.  I think.”

Abby squeezed her hand.  “You’ll be fine.”

Maggie nodded, but the memory of Benjamin’s pale, still body haunted her.  She sighed.  “Are you up to riding with Samantha?  I’ll have Billy drive your wagon.”