Experiment in Terror 05.6 The Dex-Files (12 page)

“Don’t leave me!” she pleaded, her voice strained with fear and agony.

I relented, letting her hands pull me away from the flap. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. I didn’t think I could leave her in this state.

“I need you,” she whispered.

That was a new one. It stirred up something strange and foreign in my chest. No one ever needed Dex Foray.

“You need me?” I asked, my throat feeling thick.

She pulled me closer, her grip growing tighter. Something was happening. Something that made me forget all about that nut in the forest. I barely heard the cries anymore. I was too caught up in Perry’s eyes, the way they shone in the darkness. Whatever this something was, it was crackling with heat, drawing us to each other like a tightened rope, burning around each other.

“I need you,” she said with such determination that it was like declaring war.

I watched her lips as she said it.

If she wanted war, she was going to get war.

I smiled.

Then I threw caution to the wind and did the thing I’d been dreaming about doing.

I lunged for her, grabbing her face in my hands, bringing her mouth to mine. It felt better than I thought it would, feeling her, tasting her, my tongue going after hers like I was trying to tame it. If I kept this up I would fucking eat her alive.

I pushed her back onto the sleeping bag and tried to devour her as much as I could. None of this could wait, there was urgency involved, the explosion of too many feelings and missed opportunities. This was what I always wanted, what I fucking jacked off to every damn night. And now she was beneath me, her soft hands touching me around the waist, trying to bring me into her, as if she couldn’t get enough too. She pulled my shirt off, scratched her nails on my chest like a cat in heat. I retaliated by sucking on her neck, tasting the sweat and whatever else she was made of. I pushed the envelope, not caring if we were going too far, and began to take off her pants. Fuck these fucking clothes, I wanted skin on skin.

I put my hand under her shirt, feeling the goosebumps of her skin at my contact. Her nipples were sword-sharp and begging to be squeezed along with the rest of her breast. She felt like a dream, a cloud. But it wasn’t enough.

She wanted more too. She reached down and pulled her top over her head and I saw Perry’s succulent chest in all its glory. I wished it wasn’t so dark, so I could see more than just the hint of creamy skin on a hot, rounded silhouette. Her eyes were heavy with lust, begging for me to continue. Oh god, I was trying so fucking hard not to come and I didn’t even have my pants off.

I went for her neck and chest again, licking every inch of her, consuming every good thing she was. She moaned and I almost couldn’t handle it.

Then her hands were at my pants. I was more than happy to get them off but when her firm grip found my cock, felt how stone hard I was, I knew I was in big trouble. I groaned with pleasure. Loudly. I wanted more but an extra second of groping and it would all be over very fast. And I still had plans. Very wet plans.

I moved back and out of her reach.

I was in control now.

I parted her soft, full legs with my hands and brought my head south. I had a few moves to give her before the main course.

I took my finger and flicked the yielding skin underneath her knee. Then I twisted my head around and did the same act with my tongue, flicking it gently in teasing motions. Her leg tensed up and she made a whimpering sound. She was relishing it like I hoped she would. Her legs even parted more, an obvious invitation.

I accepted.

I took my hand and spread her lips open, running a finger up and down her clit. She was swollen as fuck and wet as a Slip N’ Slide and it was only going to get more slippery.

I put my lips to her thick wet ones and pushed in my tongue. She was perfect. She tasted perfect, her own type of musky perfume that made my cock even harder until it was flat up against my stomach. It cried out for her touch, begged to come but I couldn’t indulge it. This was about her.

She needed me and I was going to give her what she needed.

Her hips were rising, trying to meet my face. My tongue was pushing her over the edge. I didn’t want her to go over yet. I wanted to see her, all of her, when she did.

I pulled back and brought my chest onto hers, our sweat mingling. I put two fingers inside of her where they disappeared into the wetness, like she was hungry. With my other hand I grabbed hold of her soft hair and made a fist in it. I pulled it back slightly and her eyes flew open at the delicious pain. I tugged and stroked, hands and fingers, hair and slickness. I did it over and over again until I was almost coming myself. It was painful for me, to hold it back, but I had to.

When she finally came, it was the most beautiful, amazing, fucktastic, heart-grabbing moment of my life. She cried out, an act of instinct. I could hear the pleasure rolling out of her mouth in waves before it slowed to a whimper. It almost sounded hurt but I knew better.

I brought my fingers out of her and rested them on her stomach. I was tempted to lick them off but that probably would have skeeved her out and I didn’t want to do anything to ruin the moment.

When she came back down from her high, she rolled her head over and stared at me. I stared right back. We had just crossed a major barricade. I was as turned on as fucking hell and we needed to leave things as they were. I gave her what she needed and that’s all I needed.

She reached for my face with her hand and tenderly stroked the side of my cheek. Her look said everything and it was too much. Reality began to sink in, competing with my dick for bragging rights.

What the fuck just happened? What the hell had I done to
us
?

Perry might have picked up on the change, I don’t know, but she started reaching for my cock and I wasn’t having any of that. Believe me I wanted nothing more than to ram it in her, to really feel how wet she was, to know her from the inside and embrace me like no one else could. I was hard as iron and it was going to go to waste without being inside her.

“I’m sorry,” I said feebly. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” she asked. She didn’t know. She didn’t know how things would go if I continued. How further down the hole she and I would fall. We didn’t even have a fucking condom, did she really want to end up pregnant. Perhaps with another abortion? Did I want to end up with another version of Jenn?

No. That wasn’t fair. If Perry got pregnant that would be something entirely different. But that wasn’t our reality. I wasn’t with her. I was just her partner. I was with Jenn and that’s who I deserved to spend the rest of my life with.

I just got Perry off, gave into the tension that seemed to wrap around us every time we were together. It was a mistake, even if it was the most unregrettable mistake I ever made.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I told her. “And I will.”

And I knew from the look in her big eyes, I already did.

If you look up “Biggest Douchebag on the Planet” in the dictionary, you’ll see my picture.

SHE LOVES ME NOT

Sometimes you can foresee certain moments in your life. For me, it’s usually a moment based on a lie. Cause and effect. You lie, you hide something from the world and you know one day someone will uncover the truth. And you know when that happens, it won’t be pretty.

It will be ugly.

It will be the screaming face of your partner and she howls at you. The tears in her eyes that she’s trying so hard to hold back. It’s that look in her face that you just stabbed her in the gut and kicked over the side of a cliff. It’s all the trust she ever had in you coming leaking out like an invisible stream of lost promises.

This was Perry the moment she found out that it had been Jenn all this time leaving the anonymous comments. I didn’t imagine it going down any other way. I knew I’d be driving that sword into her. I knew she’d break inside. Suffer.

Or maybe it’s that I’d be the one breaking. I’d suffer, from knowing what a dipshit I was. Perry and me, it was always one step forward, two steps back. I’d felt like we were finally making ground and then I had to tell her the truth.

The truth always sets my ass back.

She had turned away from me, whimpering her words through anger. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

What a place for it all to come out too. Locked in the dark basement of a haunted mental asylum. Actually, it was quite fitting. We had been driving each other insane for too long.

I reached out for her in the darkness, my hand resting on her shoulder.

She whipped around like a caged animal. A glimpse of feral hate in her eyes.

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” she screamed, her voice echoing in the damp room.

No. I couldn’t listen to that. I couldn’t bear to have this between us. I needed to touch her, to know there was some part of her still mine.

Instinctively I grabbed her wrists and held on tight.

“I’m sorry,” I said, searching her eyes for something. Anything.

“Let go of me!” she roared. I had found something. She was about to punch me in the face. I knew that look all too well.

Fuck, I was a jackass.

“Fine, punch me!” I yelled back at her, frustration rising. “But you have to listen to me first.”

She wouldn’t have any of it. “You’re a fucking liar!”

And I was. I gripped her wrists tighter and pulled her up to me, needing her to listen, to see me, to hear me out. She relented, her dark hair whipped around her face in a frenzy. But she let me hold her up to me. She let me speak.

“Put yourself in my shoes Perry, please,” I begged. “She’s my girlfriend, you’re my partner. What was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to protect?”

She closed her eyes, shutting me out. It felt like she was giving up. I didn’t want the fire to die in her, I just wanted her to give me a chance to explain.

I sighed and let go of her hands. I didn’t even know if explaining would help.

She slowly walked away without giving me a glance. Perry was defeated, and after all the strength I’d seen in her lately, it pained me to know it was me who did it to her.

“Baby,” I called out to her, my voice trailing in the cold air.

“Don’t you fucking call me that!” she exploded. “You don’t get to. Especially after what you just said.”

She was hurt. More hurt and angry than I had thought.

Why? What else was there?

I took a few cautious steps toward her. “Why is this bothering you?”

She let out an evil laugh. I couldn’t see her face but I knew there was no humor in it. “Heaven forbid this should bother me.”

“Did you want me to tell you?” I asked carefully.

“What the hell do you think?”

“Did you think I owed it to you?” And there I was again, digging, poking, looking for something to satisfy me. God, I knew what I wanted to hear.

Did she?

“I guess,” she admitted. “I would have told
you
.”

“Why?” I coaxed. I took another step toward her.

She slowly turned her head to look at me, maybe to warn me not to come any closer.

“Because...” her voice trailed off. I saw the outline of her throat as she swallowed hard. “You’re...”

What? I’m what?

“Perry,” I said, my voice shaking a bit.

She was now looking at the ground. In the shadows I could see her brow contracting. She was having an inner argument with herself. I didn’t know if the side I wanted to win, would win.

“What?” Fear rippled from her in waves.

She knew what I was going to ask. And I had to ask it anyway.

After all these months together, sleeping in the same bed, the night in the tent, the way my thoughts revolved around her very essence twenty-four hours a day. After almost dying, always saving each other, always pushing and pulling and hurting each other. I had to know how she really felt.

If she answered yes, I’d give in. And I’d tell her everything I was hiding. Everything I fought against every day. I would tell her the truth.

No more lies.

“Are you in love with me?”

And there. It was out there. I was admitting nothing myself but it had to be obvious that I was asking for a reason. That I wanted her to say yes. I needed her to say she loved me.

Then I would be a bit safer when I fell.

Her eyes went wide at the question. I guess it caught her off guard. Or she was a good actress. She’d certainly improved on camera.

“Excuse me?” she squeaked.

I took a few more steps toward her, filling her with my shadow.

“Do you love me?”

Please say yes.

Oh fuck, say yes Perry.

There was nothing but silence. That was bullshit. I had to know.

“Perry,” I said again, more urgent. “Do you love me?”

She breathed in deep, a short sharp sound. She steadied herself and looked me in the eye. I looked back. There was no softness there. It was only hard edged and glinting, like a sword. That stabbing blade.

“No,” she said simply. “I don’t.”

I was wrong. I had it all turned around.

I didn’t put the sword into her. I only gave her the sword.

She’s the one who just put it in me.

MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER

Sometimes things end out of the blue; one minute it’s going, next minute…it’s gone. Sometimes they crumble slowly, like your favorite pair of boxer briefs . You wear them every day cuz they cup your balls just so and don’t ride up the legs and sooner or later they become a second skin. You even avoid washing them too often, as rank as that is, because you fear the washing machine will agitate things, shake them up, pull apart those fibers. But eventually, it’s going to end. Your underwear will disintegrate. One tug in a fit of mindless passion or just pulling them down to use the can, and SNAP. There’s nothing left to hold it together. You’re naked. And your ass is cold.

I knew things were over, really over, when I was about to pull my own underwear off. And couldn’t.

Jenn had gotten out of the shower and was done slathering her naked body with that Victoria’s Secret arsenic-scented lotion. She was flashing me the come hither eyes, the ones that usually created a 0-60 boner in five seconds. But though the lil dude got a bit hard – it does that when I see naked women, I can’t help it – it never got past the chubby stage.