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Authors: Jill Shalvis

Flashback (12 page)

BOOK: Flashback
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She started to turn away but that was cowardice, and if she was going to learn anything while being back here in Santa Rey, it was not going to be that, so she faced him again. “I really am sorry for dragging you into this. For getting arrested and you having to bail me out. For driving you crazy. Pick any of the above.”

“You didn't drag me into anything.”

“Maybe not, but I'm about to.” She let out a breath. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.” When she didn't go on, he raised an eyebrow. “Is it something that's going to get you arrested again?”

“No. I'm kind of hoping to avoid repeating that experience.”

“Good.”

“But there are things you should know. Things you're not going to like.”

“Try me.”

“Okay. I've been getting calls from someone I think is trying to help me.”

He stared at her. “Your local cell caller?”

“Yes. He told me the key, whatever that means, is in Blake's computer files.”

“He?”

“I think so. But I can't place the voice, he's disguised it.”

“How the hell does he know the key's in Blake's computer files?” Aidan asked her.

“I don't know.”

“Blake's laptop was never found. I'm betting it went up in
Blake's Girl
.”

“As did mine. But with a computer, I could access my backup files, which would include Blake's backup files.”

“I have a computer.” He was close enough that she could see the green swirling in his light brown eyes. The scar bisecting his left eyebrow, the lines on his face, only added character, and a sexiness she couldn't have explained to save her life.

His mouth was slightly curved and she knew if she leaned in and touched hers to it, his lips would be warm and skilled, and most of all, giving.

“I didn't think I'd be happy to see you,” she murmured, stepping closer. “But I've been proven wrong on two accounts now. When you saved me from the fire, and when I came out of jail and saw you standing there.”

“Just the two?”

“Well,
maybe
one other time…”

Leaning close, he let his mouth brush her ear. “Try a couple.”

At the reminder of how he'd made her come
several
times, easily she might add, as if he knew her body better than she did, a little shiver of awareness went down her spine, chased by another one, this one pure anticipation.

He could do it again. He could take her there again, to heaven, to oblivion…Only this time it wouldn't be adrenaline. This time she'd go in with her eyes wide open. His needed to be as well.

“I was worried about you,” he murmured. “You've got to stay out of this one, Kenzie. Stay out of Tommy's way.”

Somehow her face was nuzzling his throat, and she was trying to breathe him in. “I'm going to prove Blake's innocence in all this,” she told him, liking the feel of her lips against his skin. “No matter the cost.”

“Even if the price is my friendship?”

Her throat actually tightened at the thought and she pulled back to look into his eyes. “Is it going to cost me that?”

“Depends.” He took her hand, put it on his chest and offered her a smile. “You still intending on stomping all over my tender heart?”

At that, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the ones telling her he was teasing her, she out and out laughed, feeling much of tension drain away. “Yes.”

His hands went to her hips, pulling her closer, and she stared into his face, feeling so at home in his house that she found herself hesitating, not for the first time that day, and wishing she had a script for what came next.

“You're thinking again,” he murmured.

“Yeah.”

He leaned back against the front door, unexpectedly giving her space. Space she thought she'd wanted, but found she didn't want at all. “I really did intend to stomp all over your heart, you know. When I first saw you again, I wanted to hurt you the way you'd hurt me. But then we kissed.”

“We did a lot more than kiss.”

She flashed back to that night, when she'd climbed into bed with him, pressing her icy feet to his, then her body. She remembered realizing he was naked and warm and strong and hard…
God
. He'd been so utterly irresistible, she'd lost her head. And, yeah, they'd done a lot more than kiss. “Fine. We kissed, and then I decided I should sleep with you and then walk away. Perfect, neat revenge.”

“Neat, maybe. But not perfect.” His eyes were glittering with knowledge, hard won. “Because it wasn't as easy as you thought, was it?”

No, it hadn't been. Because it'd been amazing between them. So damned amazing. “Maybe I've been looking at this wrong.”

He didn't move from the door, just kept looking at her, his eyes warm, his mouth curved, his body big and bad and so gorgeous she could hardly stand it.

She wanted him.

Again.

Still.

“Maybe it's not about sleeping with you once and walking away,” she heard herself say. “Maybe it's about letting this thing take its own lead for as long as I'm here.”

“‘This thing'? You mean the way we apparently can't stay out of each other's pants?”

At the huskiness in his voice, her nipples hardened. “Yes.”

12

A
IDAN PUSHED AWAY
from the door and came toward Kenzie, all easy, loose-limbed confidence, yet radiating an intensity that made her breath catch. He didn't stop until they were toe-to-toe, and she slowly tipped up her head to look into his inscrutable eyes.

“You want to have sex,” he said silkily. “Here. Tonight. Now.”

Her breath caught at his bluntness. “And then maybe again later.”

“Later,” he repeated, as if trying to process this.

“Maybe even until I leave Santa Rey. At which time we both walk away, eyes wide open.”

He just stared at her for the longest moment. “What happened to trouncing on my heart?”

“It seems you were right. I don't really want to hurt you.”

When he shot her a not-buying-it look, she caved. “Okay, so I want to hurt you less than I want to sleep with you again.”

“You know, you'd think I'd be tough enough to walk away from such an overwhelmingly romantic offer,” he said drily, sounding both intrigued and baffled. “But apparently…” He put his hands on her hips. “I'm not.”

She offered a smile that was sheer nerve. “So…yes?”

His eyes never wavered, holding hers, leveling her as he pulled her in. “I don't know, Kenzie. I'm a little afraid…”

“Be serious.”

His smile was crooked and impossibly endearing. “I am. This time you could really do it, whether you're trying to or not. This time, you just might take out my heart.”

“Come on,” she quipped, even as a part of her was afraid he was right, for both of them. “If we're just having a physical relationship and nothing else, how can we get hurt?”

With a soft laugh, he slid his hands up her spine, and then back again, low enough now to cup her butt and squeeze.

He was hard.

Bending his head, he put his mouth to her ear and let out a breath that made her shiver in longing. “Just a physical relationship, Kenzie? Is that all this is? Really?” He sank his teeth into her lobe and she shivered again.

“It—it's all it
should
be,” she managed.

Another soft, deprecating laugh rumbled through his chest, this one aimed at the both of them. “Okay, well as long as we're being honest, you should know…” His hands glided up her spine again, this time beneath her shirt to touch bare skin. “Even though you
are
going to hurt me, it's not enough to make me say no. Truth is, nothing could…”

She opened her mouth to say something, but then he kissed the spot he'd just nipped at, soothing the ache as his fingers stroked over her skin. Her eyes drifted shut, and she slid her arms around his neck, pressing close. “No pain, no gain,” she whispered, and he let out another low laugh as he lifted her up and carried her to his bedroom.

To his bed.

He settled over her, looking down into her face for a beat before lowering his head and taking her mouth with his demanding one.

If simply walking into his house had felt like a homecoming, then this, here, now, felt even more so. He felt like home, he smelled like home, and he tasted even better; she hesitated, thinking,
uh-oh
.

His hands came up to hold her face. “What?”

She stared up into his eyes and saw herself reflected there, as if they were one, and although it was deeply unsettling to realize that this time she could fall even harder for him—if she let herself—she also couldn't imagine walking away, without being in his arms again.

“Kenz?”

“Nothing, it's nothing.” And she pulled him down for another kiss as the heat of him seeped into her bones, warming her with a sensual promise of what was to come. Those big, warm hands slid along her arms, lifting them up over her head, entwining their fingers as his mouth continued to plunder hers, delivering on that promise.

It was familiar, and it was comforting, and yet it was so, so much more as well. Not since being with Aidan six years ago had she given any thought to what it would be like to be with a guy long enough that he felt…like home. She was a woman who liked change, who liked the new and exciting, who lived off the lines someone else wrote for her each day.

But with Aidan, she knew what he felt like, what he tasted like, exactly how crazy he could drive her with a touch of a single finger, and yet being with him felt almost unbearably
right,
and far more arousing than she could have ever imagined.

Still kissing her, he pulled off her top, then her skirt. Her new bra was a front hook, which didn't slow him down at all, and when he had her naked except her panties, he hooked his fingers in the thin strip of cotton on her hips and let his gaze meet hers. Then he tugged, slipping the underwear down her legs and off, sailing them over one shoulder. Towering over her, fully dressed while she was as naked as she could get, he let out a low breath. “You're so beautiful.”

“And you're overdressed.” Still in his fire gear, in fact…

“In a minute.” He was kneeling between her legs. He spread his, which in turn spread hers, and his gaze took her in, in one fell swoop, heating her skin everywhere he looked. He traced his fingers over her breasts, her belly, her thighs.

Between.

When he bent his head with fierce intent, she sucked in a breath, a breath that clogged her throat when he replaced his fingers with his mouth.

“Aidan,” she managed, hardly recognizing her own voice. “I—”

His tongue encircled her tender, sensitized flesh, making her quiver from the inside out, and she promptly forgot what she'd meant to say. While his tongue and fingers circled and teased and stroked, she gripped the sheets and stared down at him. His hair stood up, from her fingers, she realized. His eyes were closed, his expression dreamy as he brought her such bliss she could hardly even see, much less think.

But she didn't close her eyes. She watched him concentrate on her pleasure as if it were his own, took in his moves, the moves that were driving her right out of her ever-loving mind.

It was as if he knew what made her tick, inside and out. That was a terrifying thought, really. Because the girl he'd once known no longer existed, and since then…well, she hadn't really let anyone know her.

An ever-changing script.

That was her life.

A life she was no longer sure about. But having him take her apart the way he was,
that
she was sure about.

He opened his eyes, so molten hot that they were nearly black, and looked up at her. He was sure, too, which should have stopped her cold, and she stirred. “Aidan—”

“Shh.”

Then he swirled his tongue in a precise rhythm over ground zero, and she lost it.

Completely.

Lost.

It.

Panting for breath, arching up off the mattress and into his mouth, she dug her fingers into the sheets, throwing her head back at the peak, sobbing out his name.

Slowly he brought her back to planet earth. She closed her eyes, savoring the pleasure, still quivering and pulsing as he kissed his way back up her body, his tongue stroking a rib, a nipple, her throat…and then he cupped her face and smiled at her.

“You shushed me,” she said, her voice sounding weak and raspy.

“It was for a good cause.” He rocked his hips into hers.

“I'm going to get you back for that.”

He smiled wickedly. “Should I be scared?”

“Terrified.” Rolling him over, she sat on him and tugged his uniform shirt off. She could have spent a year lapping him up with nothing but her tongue. He had a tight body, toned from years of physical labor. His chest was broad, hard, his belly rippled with sinew and rising and falling in a way that assured her she was in no way alone in this almost chemical-like attraction they shared, which transcended both time and logic.

His hands went to the button on his pants to help speed up the process, and she ran her fingers up the taut, corded muscles of his abs. He unzipped, she tugged, and then nearly drooled at the sight of the part of him so happy to see her.

She licked her lips.

He groaned.

She kissed him, on the very tip.

“Kenz—” he choked out, tunneling his fingers through her hair.

Since her mouth was now full, she couldn't answer, and he said something completely unintelligible anyway, which, she had to admit, only egged her on. God, she loved rendering this big, bad, tough man completely incapable of speech. Loved the power that surged through her at the way he was breathing, saying her name.

Loved so much about it that it scared her. Scared her into being even more bold and brazen so that she didn't have to think about how much being with him meant to her.

How much he meant to her.

Using her hands and mouth, she drew him to the edge. “Two-minute warning,” he groaned out, his hands fisted in the sheets at his sides as she ran her tongue up his length. “Okay, thirty seconds.
Maybe.

She kept going until he swore and grabbed a condom, nudging her to her back, his hands running up the undersides of her arms until they were over her head. His knee spread her legs, his thigh rubbing against the core of her.

“In,” she gasped, arching into him. “In me now.”

Lowering his body to hers, he nipped at her lower lip, then kissed her, hard and deep, his tongue slipping into her mouth at the very moment he slipped into her body. “Like that?”

She couldn't answer. Hell, she could hardly breathe.

“Kenzie?”

“Yes,” she managed, then shuddered as he withdrew, only to thrust into her again. And again.
“Like that.”

The feel of him, thick and hot and filling her to the brink, had her gasping his name, wrapping her legs around his hips, leaving her unable to remember exactly what she was supposedly paying him back for. Her toes were curling, her skin feeling too tight for her body, which seemed to swell from the inside out. “Aidan—”

“Come,” he demanded, grinding his teeth in what looked like agony. “I want to feel you come before I—”

She burst in mindless, blind sensation, and barely heard his strangled answering groan as he exploded.

For long moments afterward, they lay there entwined, panting and damp, and powerless to move, their breathing echoing loudly through the bedroom.

“Is it just me,” she finally managed, “or does that get better and better?”

“Oh, yeah.”

She fell quiet a moment, but then couldn't resist. “You think it'll keep happening? You know, until I leave?”

“If it does, it's likely to kill me.”

“Yes.” She sighed dreamily. “But what a way to go.”

His soft huff of laughter was the last thing she remembered before she drifted off to sleep.

 

A
IDAN WOKE UP SOMETIME LATER
with a smile, his body ready for another round. In the pitch-dark, he rolled over for Kenzie.

And got nothing.

With a very bad feeling in his gut, he sat up. “You're gone, aren't you?” he said into the night.

When he got no answer, he tossed back the covers and got out of bed, but it was too late. She had left. He told himself he wasn't her keeper, and she could go wherever she wanted, but he'd been lulled into the impression that she hadn't been done with him yet.

She
wasn't
done with him, not yet. Which meant she was probably out there looking to poke her nose into the arsons. Aidan hurriedly got dressed. He had no idea where she was but he needed to find out, because with whatever information she'd get, she'd go snooping into things that were guaranteed to piss off Tommy.

Hell.
They'd just spent hours in his bed. And in his shower. And then his bed again. Hadn't he tired her out?

His stomach was grumbling and his head starting to pound when he picked up his cell phone and called hers; he was shocked when she answered.

“Hi,” she said in that soft, breathless voice that had only a few hours before made him come.

Just hearing it stirred him halfway to life. He was little better than Pavlov's dogs. “Where are you?”

“Oh, out and about.” She still sounded breathless.

“Kenzie, what are you doing?”

“Um…exercising?”

“That's a bad word to you.”

“Not anymore. Do you have any idea how much work it takes to stay in TV shape?”

And then he heard it, the unmistakable sound of a sliding door either opening or closing. “Where are you?”

“Whoops, bad connection,” she said.

He gnashed his teeth together. “We have a great connection. What are you up to?”

BOOK: Flashback
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