Galaxy's Edge Magazine: Issue 7: March 2014 (4 page)

The Swiss may have been reluctant to become involved in the war, but they had hosted the convention that afforded me the right to only state my name, rank and serial number. Oh, and they made damn fine chocolate as well.

He smiled. “What were you doing when we captured you, apart from being pissed on?” The others all laughed at this. I ignored him. Meanwhile, one of the other soldiers was heating up some kind of stew. It smelled wonderful.

“Would you like some?” he asked. “What were you doing when we captured you?”

I saw no point in lying. They had probably guessed I was simply lost.

“I was simply lost,” I said. “I was on patrol when I became separated from my comrades. I was trying to find my way back to them when you discovered me.”

He asked me further questions about troop movements, artillery installations and plans. I really had no idea, but I pointed at a couple of random spots on a map he produced to keep him happy. He seemed to like this and smiled again. Then he invited me to join the others at the fire. I dropped onto a log that had been dragged inside. It felt great just being out of the cold. It was heaven to also smell the warming food, at least the little I could catch through the wall of steaming ammonia from my drying uniform. For some reason the Germans all sat on the far side of the fire from me.

I was given some stew. Metal spoons scraped on metal
dixies
as we ate greedily in the flickering firelight. I didn’t receive nearly as much as they did, but at least they shared with me. They’re not all bad, those Jerry swine.

Later I sat alone on a pile of hay in the stall, gulping down a mug of hot tea and smoking a cigarette. My uniform was still damp, but at least it was now warm again. The Germans huddled around the fire and spoke in soft tones, laughing from time to time. Once I’d finished, they retied my hands behind my back and I fell
asleep with my face pressed against the hay.

It must have been an hour or so later that I was awoken by the strangest sound: a low-pitched hum. My stomach rumbled in response to the frequency. Or perhaps it was in response to the stew. The German who remained awake on guard apparently heard it too, as he stood and quietly woke the others. The fire was no more than a bed of glowing coals, fighting a losing battle against the cold night. The hum grew louder and louder until my ears hurt and my stomach trembled. A pale blue light strobed through the cracks in the rear wall of the barn. The Germans grabbed their rifles and made their way outside, leaving me alone. A few moments later I heard shouted commands and a few rifle shots. Then there was a new sound, a static crackling, and the blue glow around me changed to red. A few seconds later the pale blue light returned. The hum died away and there was only silence.

I have no idea what happened to those Germans. They never returned. My best guess is they were di
s
integrated by some kind of heat ray, much like that described by Mr. Wells in his ridiculous story.

I lay silently for the longest time, but eventually built up the courage to leave my stall and approach the barn door. There was an odd scent which reminded me of vanilla, and I paused to sniff the still air. Imagine my surprise when the door opened silently and before me stood a small creature – the likes of which I’d never even imagined before. It was grey, about three feet tall, with a large bulbous head and small, lithe body. Long arms reached almost to its knees. Its eyes were almond shaped and black – as black as coal – and it seemed to stare right through me into the very depths of my soul. It held a small silver tube, a ray gun I now presume. I shivered, and not just from the damp chill. Frankly, I was scared and started shaking. I almost fell over when I tried to cross myself against this demonic vision, as my hands were still securely tied behind my back. Instead I dropped to my knees and the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. Then I was hit by the most foul, pungent odour I’ve ever encountered on God’s green planet. I must have wrinkled my nose in response, because it spoke to me. In English, if you can believe that.

“Sorry about the smell,” it said. “You surprised me.” And it waved its hand rapidly behind its behind. Apparently, when startled, they let one go – so to speak.

“Cor! You smell awful,” I managed.

“You don’t smell so good yourself, pisshead,” it said. “No wonder the others left you behind. Are you crippled?”

“Crippled?” I asked.

“Yes.” It swayed its head gently from side to side. “You have no arms.”

I laughed nervously, stood up and turned around so it could see my arms tied behind my back. “I was their prisoner.” I turned to face it once more. “What are you?” I ventured.

“I’m not from around here.”

“Nooooo,” I said.
“Really?
I presumed you were a Dutch peasant.”

“A Dutch peasant?
I am from another planet.” The being obviously did not understand sarcasm.

“Mars!”
I guessed.” You’re a Martian!” Mr. Wells had apparently been correct. I quickly scanned the barn for any sign of red weed.

“No,” it said. “Mars has no life. I’m from a star system much further away.”

“Where?”

It shook its head. “I could not describe it in a manner you would understand.” It approached me, staring through me again with its dark, emotionless eyes. “I have told you too much as it is.” The alien pressed the
silver tube against my forehead. It burned cold against my skin. I frowned as I tried to make sense of it.

It may seem strange now, but it was only at this juncture that it occurred to me I was actually in danger. My original fear had dissipated when it let one rip and we commenced our light banter. Certainly it had eradicated the Jerries, but I suddenly realised this being had no real reason to be a friend to an Allied so
l
dier.
Or to any Earthling, for that matter.
Panic rose within me. My heart thudded unmercifully and choked off my throat. I dropped to my knees once more, and started whimpering. My lip quivered and I started shaking. I’m rather embarrassed to admit that I even soiled my trousers.

“You won’t feel anything,” it said. “Farewell.”

There was a scream and a khaki blur of motion as a woman, solid as a mountain, charged in through the barn door. She swung a rifle around her head and clubbed the alien to the ground. Then she stood over its inert body and aimed the weapon at me.

“Hande hoch, Kraut!” she roared.

“I’m British,” I said. I turned slowly, so she could see my tied hands.

It took her a few moments, but she seemed to decide I would offer her no harm. Of course she had recognised the uniform but was simply being cautious. She untied me, although she kept the rifle close by. It turned out she was an English nurse who’d managed to escape just as her hospice was overrun by Jerries. She had stripped a dead soldier of his uniform and weapon and had been making her way towards the British lines. As darkness fell, she had been looking for shelter when she’d noticed the barn bathed in the eerie blue light.

She was convinced the alien was some kind of Nazi experiment gone wrong and I chose not to correct her. I didn’t think she would have believed me anyway. She wanted to kill it, to put it out of its misery but I convinced her not to. So she decided to let it live and to question it once it awoke. Carefully, she tied its limbs then dragged it onto a pile of hay in another stall. For a while she examined the silver tube, the ‘ray gun’ the alien had dropped, but she was unable to operate it. She dropped it in her pocket.

I built up the fire again until its meagre warmth started to penetrate my frozen flesh. Using German supplies I’d found, I prepared a meal of sausage and sauerkraut. The English nurse found a well outside and drew enough water to try and wash my soiled uniform. She draped it over a barrel near the fire. Wearing nothing but my undershorts, I sat next to her. I moved closer as we shared our stories and our body heat. The sausage and cabbage tasted like manna from heaven and filled our bellies. And as we ate, our spirits rose. She only slapped me once, when I leaned in a little closer to sniff her. It was worth it. She smelled like a rose against the animal smells of that squalid barn. But she held me no grudge. Chivalry is not dead, and before long she gave me her greatcoat to help keep me warm. Once we were sated, we decided to get some shut-eye. I crawled back into my stall and lay down. I drew the greatcoat over me like a blanket with the stalks of hay prickling against my bare back.

From my makeshift cot I watched her as she went through her bedtime routine. She dropped and did thirty press-ups on the dirt floor, then did fifty rapid chin-ups on a wooden beam before stripping and cleaning the rifle; faster than any of my comrades could. Gosh, she was a fine figure of a man. Finally she crawled under the greatcoat beside me. I could feel her naked flesh pressed against mine. It was as smooth and warm as any side of roast beef and I wanted to devour her. Then, while we lay there side by side in the dark stall, a strange thing happened. I fell head over heels in love. Ah, the first flushes of romance, the halcyon days of young lust. At midnight, she proposed to me. We celebrated by making love in the straw,
her on top of course, before I fell asleep, wrapped safely in her large, muscled arms.

It seemed like only minutes later that I was once more awoken, this time by the alien shaking me. I sat upright, wet myself once more, and then drew back in fear. I bashed my head against the weathered timber wall. My head throbbed as my girl snored on. The alien raised his hands, palms out, and attempted a smile.

“How did you escape?” I asked.

“Rope will not suffice. It would take metal to restrain me.” It rubbed its head. “She is strong, that one.”

I followed the creature out to the fire. “You better hope she doesn’t wake up.”

“She won’t,” it said. It showed me the silver tube. “I used this. She will sleep for at least a few more of your Earth hours, and then she will have no memory of me. I will not harm her. I understand she was merely protecting you.” I paused, suddenly, unsure of my own future. My bravado left me once more and my fear returned. This being had already disintegrated a platoon of Jerries. I picked up a pointy stick from the stack of firewood and fiddled with it nonchalantly. At least I had a weapon of sorts. It must have read my mind, or at least interpreted my worried expression. “Do not fear,” it said. “I shall not kill you either. You showed mercy and did not execute me when she attacked me.” It motioned at my love.

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

“So what’s this all about,” I said. “Whose side are you on?”

“Side?
We have no interest in your petty fighting. Kill each other all you like.”

“Then why are you here?”

It paused, tilted its head, and remained unmoving for close to a minute. It seemed deep in thought, al
t
hough it may have simply fallen asleep. Just as I was about to prod it with the pointy stick, the alien started speaking again.

“I’m not sure how much I should share with you. But I suppose it ultimately doesn’t matter.” It paused. I half expected an orchestra to strike ominous chords. “I’m an advance scout. Your world has much to offer. I’ve been here for three of your Earth months and I am about to return to my home planet. I came to conduct a survey.”

“Much to offer?”

“Resources,” it said. “My people will return with me. This is a fabulously wealthy planet.”

“Tourists?”
I said. “You’re a travel agent and you’re going to bring tourists to a war? That’s not too wise.”

“Are you really so stupid?” It sneered. “I’m talking about an invasion. We will invade your planet and take all we require. I shall depart soon, and it will be many of your years before we return. I have travelled a great distance.”

“But why?”
I asked. “Why can’t you just leave us here in peace to finish our war?”

“Eh, it’s what we do.” It shrugged. “Now, come with me.” The alien turned to go. I followed it out to the fire, now mere glowing embers. I dropped the stick on the coals, where it flared and started burning.

“Now kneel,” it commanded.

This was not what I’d expected. I fell to my knees on the uneven dirt floor, naked and vulnerable, and started crying. “Please don’t,” I begged. “It will be our little secret. I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“I must,” said the alien, and pressed the silver tube against my forehead for the second time that night.

I wailed, I screamed, I soiled myself once more. There was a bright flash and I knew no more.

Literally, I knew no more. The alien had not planned to kill me. I had simply misunderstood its intentions
at that point. The device had clearly altered my memories so I would not recall any of these events.

The next morning I awoke in the arms of my love and we both recalled her overpowering a German unit and saving me, although we were unable to account for the missing soldiers. We took all the supplies we could manage and left the barn. A few hours later, we happened upon a patrol searching for me. I must say she fit in well with the other fellows, and later that week became the battalion’s boxing champion when she knocked out several of my comrades who were drunk enough to make advances towards her.

In the following weeks my girl slept well. I, on the other hand, suffered night after night. My sleep was filled with nightmares, cold sweats and screaming out my beloved’s name. She usually slapped me until I awoke.