HeartBeat (Saranghaeyo Book 2) (22 page)

They only had a week or so left before they headed over to Europe for the three week long second leg of the tour, and then after that G.K. and his group would be returning to Korea.

Leila forced herself to dismiss the thought, not wanting to imagine not seeing him on a regular basis. In the short time they had been together G.K. had ingrained himself into her life so well, she couldn’t fathom the idea of him being gone. Their relationship had been one that seemed to be in hyper-drive and yet perfectly natural.

I mean I’ve even already met his parents,
she thought with a smile.

               She and Noel had met G.K.'s mother, at length two days ago. And contrary to Leila’s concerns, she had turned out to be a sweet woman who was extremely protective of her ‘sons’.

She spoke limited English, but she had asked them both questions, about their families, careers, and education. She had listened to their answers carefully, and speculatively, and anything she hadn’t understood Kai and G.K. had translated.

In the beginning, Leila had been extremely nervous. But somehow every time her panic would begin to set in, G.K. would grab her hand, caress her arm, or even send her an encouraging wink.

In the end, Leila felt as though his mother approved of her and Noel. For when the day had come to a close, she had given each of the women a hug and a light kiss on the cheek.

               G.K. grabbed her arm, drawing her attention back to the present. "What are you thinking about?" He asked her, breathing heavily from the rigorous dance.

"Nothing." She said, causing G.K. gave her a skeptical look in response.

               G.K. knew what she was thinking about; it was either one of two things. It was either about the day with his mother, or she was thinking about the same thing that had been driving him crazy. What would happen when he went back to Korea.

G.K. wanted to go home, he missed Seoul more than he expected, however; he couldn't stand the thought of being without Leila. The idea of not being able to see her smile, to kiss or make love to her when he felt like it, seemed unbearable.

Kai had talked to G.K. about trying long distance, as he and Noel had. But that wasn't something G.K. could see himself doing. While it may work for some...he wanted and needed Leila with him.

This was why he had asked Jinyung whether he would be willing to take Leila on as a permanent dancer for the group.

Their manager had asked him for every pro and con of letting Leila come onto their crew and G.K. had given them. The deal breaker had been when G.K. had told Jinyung that without Leila there, he would feel off. He already knew that without her by his side he’d feel as if something was missing, which he knew could affect his performance.

Jinyung had looked at him speculatively before asking for time to think about it. G.K. had finally heard from him this morning, agreeing to his request.

               Now G.K. needed to figure out the right time to tell her. He watched Leila, dance next to him, considering when and how to bring up his suggestion.

Becoming one of their permanent backup dancers would require her to move to Korea which was where most of their activities were. Would she be willing to leave her home? Her family...for you?

They were just dating, not married. Would the fact that he loved her be enough? All of these thoughts swirled in G.K.'s head, as he pondered how to broach the subject.

Michael clapped his hands, drawing G.K.’s eyes and attention.

“Everyone is on point as usual. I think we should be all good for the show. As a reward, I will let you eat. Be back in an hour." He finished with a chuckle and a wave.

               Leila took in a deep breath and turned G.K. "Where do you want to go to eat?"

"Somewhere quiet." He told her, taking her hand.

This would be the perfect time to ask her how she felt about moving to Korea once they returned from Europe. It was a big step, he knew, but he hoped she would at least think about it in the upcoming weeks.

               "Quiet's good." She said, inching closer to him.

G.K. smiled, resisting the urge to brush a kiss against her lips. "I know the perfect place..."

               "Perfect place for what?" Boom called out from behind him.

He turned toward Kibum and young’s expectant faces.

He was shaking his head before they could say a word. “You can't come.”

Young rolled his eyes, “You say that every time."

"I know, but this time I'm serious. Leila and I need to talk." G.K. could feel Leila's eyes come to rest on him as he was turned to talk to Kibum and Young.
 

His group mate’s eyes widened in understanding before they nodded and turned to go back over toward the other side of the studio, where Kwan and Kai stood with the rest of T4L’s staff.

               "What do we need to talk about?" Leila asked curiously.

He met her eyes, "Is it okay if we talk when we're alone?"

Leila nodded silently, trying to squash the feeling of foreboding that attempted to bubble up inside of her.
 

***
 

Curiosity was eating Leila alive, as the couple found a seat in a small bistro that was a few blocks away from the dance studio.

What did they need to talk about?
Leila figured that it must have been pretty serious if G.K. hadn’t wanted the others to tag along.

Once they had given their waiter their drink orders, Leila turned expectant eyes toward G.K.

G.K. prayed that there was no nervous sweat glistening on his brow. He hadn’t felt this edgy since their first date and it was wreaking havoc on his psyche.
What if she says no?
He worried, feeling himself grow impossibly more tense.

               When it seemed that he wasn’t going to say anything, Leila broke the silence.

"G.K. what did you want to tell me?"

He cleared his throat, "I uh, I wanted to know what you will do once we go back to Korea?"

Leila felt immediate waves of sadness crush through her at the thought of him leaving, "Well...I suppose I'll try and get my old job back. The manager really liked me, so I shouldn't have a problem. And I'll continue to look for more dancing jobs."

G.K. shifted in his seat, "So you'll still be dancing?"

He immediately cringed at the obvious question.

Leila gave a small laugh, "Of course, that's why I came here remember? To dance, full time. "

               Their waiter returned at that moment with their beverages and quickly took their lunch orders.

G.K. took a cooling sip of his water. "What if I had already found you a permanent dancing position?"

Leila felt joy spread through her at the thought, "I would say you're the best man a girl could have." She teased.

G.K. felt his shoulders relax at her praise, his hope skyrocketing."Well I do know a way and that’s why I wanted to talk to you."

She couldn’t hold back her excitement as she asked, "Really? For who? Is it more backup dancing, or in a play of some kind?"

"It would be for us, for T4L."

               Leila felt confused, "Are you all extending the tour?" She asked.

G.K. shook his head, "No we're still going back to Korea as planned." He took a deep breath, "I want to know if you would like to become one of our permanent dancers...and come with me...back to Seoul."

               Leila's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Go to Korea?! Was he serious?

She stared at him blankly for a moment, taking in his anxious expression.

               Alarms went off in G.K.'s head like a fire house as Leila continued to look at him with no response.

G.K. rushed on to fill the silence, "You would be mostly working in Korea, but we travel all over Asia. We do concerts pretty often in China, Japan, and the Philippians as well. It would be what you wanted right? To dance full-time. And I mean you would still be...with me." G.K. finished his sentence, almost in a whisper as if it was an afterthought.

Internally Leila's mind was at war. Her romantic side was cheering and doing back flips at the offer. She'd get to travel, see the world and dance like she'd always wanted to. And there was the added bonus of getting to be with G.K.

Her practical side, however; was rejecting the idea. She'd be half way around the world, away from her family and friends. And while the job was a guarantee, what would happen if things didn't work out with G.K. would she suddenly find herself, without work stuck on the other side of the globe? What would she be able to come back to?

Her heart refused to believe that G.K. would ever ask her to do something that could wind up leaving her in a boat without a paddle. But then again things happen...relationships end.

               Leila had never been so confused and at odds with herself, and she didn't know how to respond.

               G.K. could see her struggling to come up with an answer and hated himself for making her feel that way.

Was it selfish to spring this on her? To offer her her dream, with these strings attached?

He loved her and wanted her with him and in his eyes it seemed like an amazing idea. They both would be getting what they wanted. She would get to keep dancing full time and he would get to have her by his side.

But in the back of his mind he knew it wasn’t so simple. He wasn't the one who would have to give up everything he knew for this. She would.

               He would be going home, and she would be leaving hers. He'd still have his best friends, his group mates. And Leila would be leaving her family and Marcia behind.

               G.K. suddenly felt like a self-centered jerk to even make her decide something like this. Realizing his offer may have had a ring of an ultimatum, G.K. backpedaled.

              "Honey I'm sorry. It’s alright, I take it back. Just pretend like I never said anything okay?"

               Leila finally focused on G.K. getting her wayward mind re-focused on the present. G.K.'s brow was now furrowed in that tense way that it always was, making her smile.

He really does stress too much.
She thought.

              
Why is she smiling?
He asked himself, looking at the slight grin warily.

Leila inhaled a few times before finally speaking up, “No, it’s okay, it’s just a lot to take in. I just need some time...to think about it. Is that okay?"

G.K. was shocked, he’d been certain she was going to outright refuse him or yell at him for making her have to decide between her friends and family and her dream.

"It’s fine. Take all the time you need." He told her, grabbing her hand that rested on the table.

Chapter 20

The next several days proved difficult for Leila, as she went back and forth in her mind about leaving the states and going with G.K. In theory the offer was amazing but actually taking that final step was the hardest part.

               G.K. had given her space to think about it, not once bringing it up again, since he had asked her in the bistro.

Leila sat in the living room area of the loft thinking, when her sister came through the door.

Leila looked up at her arrival, "Hey, where have you been?" She asked her sister.

Sam gave her a smile, coming to sit on one of the plush chairs nearby.

"I went out to eat..."

"With who? Marcia?"

Sam flushed, shaking her head.

Her lack of an answer mad Leila pin her sister with a stare. "Then with who? Who else do you know here in New York?"

Sam huffed in annoyance as she crossed her arms over her chest. “If you must know it was with Young.”

Leila grinned, and Sam rushed on. "But before you get any ideas, it was just lunch. I actually met with him to tell him that I think we should just be friends."

Leila's eyes widened, "Really? Why would you do something like that?"

Sam sighed, sitting back in her seat, "Because, I'm not in the market for a relationship right now, with Young or anyone for that matter."

Leila shook her head, "I think your making a mistake..."

Sam rolled her eyes, "Says the woman who is thinking of turning down the opportunity of a life time, because she's scared."

               Leila's expression morphed into one of shock. She had told her sister about G.K.'s offer the same day he’d asked her.

Sam hadn’t given her much of an opinion at the time; she’d only listened to her sister’s concerns before telling her that it was a decision she would have to make on her own. And that no matter what Leila decided she would have her full support.