If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) (3 page)

She
lowered her eyes. “Thank you, Barrington. I'm glad you like it.”

“Like
it is an understatement, Perri,” he said, his expression puzzled. “So, why'd
you brush it off when I asked you about it earlier?”

“I
didn't want you to know.”

“Is
that right?”

She
grinned. “That and the fact you ask too many questions.”

Barrington
laughed. “Speaking of questions, I got just one more.”

“Oh,
brother,” Perri rolled her eyes, “what now?”

He
grew serious, gesturing to the sketch still in his hands. “Can I have this?”

Perri
blinked several times trying to decide if she'd heard him right. “You seriously
want it?”

“Yeah,
I want it, Perri, if you're willing to part with it.” He reached into his
pocket. “Tell you what, baby. I'll even buy it from you, be your first
customer.”

“You
don't have to do that, Barrington. It's not that great.”

Barrington
laid the sketch pad down on her bed. Lifting her chin, he said, “Don't you ever
put yourself or your work down again, because you're too good to ever doubt
your talent, girl.” He glanced at the sketch and added, “Way too good.”

She
smiled up at him, feeling all gooey and whatnot. “You really think that.”

“No.”
He chuckled as her sweet smile faded. “I
know
you're that good, Perri.”
He laughed again when her face lit up with that beautiful smile once more. “So,
which do you like better, backup dancing for the locals or designing?”

Perri
didn't have to think about that, “Designing.”

“Really?
Why?”

She
shrugged. “Just do.”

“Come
on, Perri, it's more to it than 'just do’ so do share.”

She
thought about it. “Don't get me wrong. I love to dance but designing is my
passion.” Her hands got to going, gesturing and projecting meaning into every
word. “The one thing I'd do even if I couldn't do anything else,” she went on
to say, and could feel the creative juices flowing. She chuckled lightly. “Sound
crazy?”

Amused
and caught up in her excitement, Barrington said, “Only to someone who doesn't
have a dream.” He smiled. “I'm proud of you, baby. You know what you wanna do.
Now you just have to make a plan, stick to it and just do it.”

She
laughed. “Forever the optimist, aren’t you.”

“There's
nothing wrong with ambition, baby; gotta have it if you plan to succeed in
life.”

“And
you think I have it?”

“I
know you have it, baby.” He pulled her into his arms. “Now how about giving me
some of it?” Barrington kissed her deeply then stared down into his favorite
pair of eyes.

Perri
snaked her arms around his narrow waist and sighed. “How long you home for?”

“Don't
know. Right now it's up in the air. I do have to be ready to go at a moment's
notice, though.”

“Oh,”
she swallowed back disappointment.

Feeling
her vibe change, Barrington asked, “You okay, baby?”

Perri
forced a smile. “I'm glad you're here, baby boy,” she said, burying her face in
his chest, inhaling his cologne and manly scent, the combination causing her
head to feel woozy and dazed with unbridled lust; she squeezed his waist
affectionately, her body making her feel as if she wanted to do so much more
with and to Barrington.

“Are
you really now?” he asked playfully squeezing her ass. Barrington knew he
needed to quit teasing Perri because his hard-on for her was becoming painful.

“Very
much so, G-man,” Perri confirmed, burying her face deeper in his chest, wishing
she could step inside of his gorgeous athletic body. She had the strange urge
to climb his physique like a lizard scaling a wall. Her body involuntarily
shivered in his arms and she held him tighter. 

He
kissed to the top of her head. “So what do I get in turn for filling you with
gladness?”

Perri
knew he was playing with her when she pulled back to ask, “What do you want?”

He
framed her face, sighed, and kissed her forehead. “I know I better get my horny
ass back out in the living room.” His eyes scanned her bedroom, coming back to
rest upon her big, spacious, empty four post bed. “Fast,” he said and turned to
leave. His breath caught when he felt her hand quickly grab his, stopping him.

Was
that desperation he felt
?

Slowly,
Barrington turned back around and regretted it the moment he did. Perri was so
damn beautiful he wanted to take her in her bed hard and fast without
protection, emptying his seed inside her so damn bad it was a crying shame. And
truth be told, he felt like crying, knowing he couldn't have her, at least not in
the way his body was yearning to have her now.

“You
don't have to go, G-Man.” Perri smiled up at him seductively, longing to feel
her man’s hands all over and inside her body at once.

Barrington
watched her lips curve into that beautiful smile, rendering him weak in the
knees. He swallowed hard, “Yeah, Perri,” he gently detached his hand from hers,
“I do.” He took a step back, blowing out a puff of air, releasing his pent up
sexual frustrations with it.

Perri
boldly advanced forward. “I don't want you to go, Barrington.”

To
that, he closed his eyes and counted to ten. He knew he had to be going.
“Perri, this is no time for true confessions,” he snapped, surprised by the
annoyance he felt. But he also knew it was only due to the fact that he wanted
her so bad he couldn't stand to be in her presence another minute without taking
the necessary steps to delve deep inside of her sex. However, he knew she was
still an innocent and fresh petal—in bloom—but not yet deflowered. He could
tell that the first time he'd talked to her. Perri was a backup dancer true to
the game, but she didn't carry herself like someone who knew the ins and outs
of bedroom foreplay. Although she
was
the biggest tease he'd ever
met—virgin or not.

“Why
isn’t it?” She glanced around her spacious bedroom, particularly her empty bed.
“Seems to me now is the perfect time for lots of things if we want it to be,
Barrington.”

“Girl,
quit playing with me. I promise now is not the time.” All she had to do was
look south to know he wasn’t playing games right now.

“Why
don’t you tell me why now is not the time for me to be honest with you, baby?”

Barrington's
right hand reached out stroking the side of her face, then cupped her nape.
“Let me ask you this, Perri. Do you think you could handle me being honest with
you?”

Perri
recalled the brief thought crossing her mind that, while she had nodded her
head, the fog in her brain knew she was in over her head, and her mind just
didn’t seem to want to even faction that she totally did not give a care at
this moment; something she was oddly sure she’d grow to regret in the days to
follow. For now though, she wanted Barrington like she’d never wanted another
man in the history of her short lifespan. She nodded, knowing she was poking
the bear, but didn't care.

Perri
wanted to know what it felt like to have Barrington moving inside of her body
in a way no man ever had before. She wasn't quite sure how to respond or act
since she'd never been with a man sexually before. But for the most part, she
knew she wanted to experience her first sexual pleasure trip with Barrington,
the love of her life, and she believed with all of her heart that she was every
bit the love of his life as well. To her way of thinking, it just made since
for Barrington to lose himself inside her eager and waiting body that was
already so hot and on fire for him as it was.

Barrington
sat on Perri’s bed, pulling her down in his lap, and took a deep breath before
explaining his situation to her. He absently ran his hands up and down her
arms. “Perri, I'm a man.” He swallowed hard. “A very
experienced
man,”
he clarified. Tenderly rubbing his thumb back and forth against her chin, he
gently lifted it so she was looking directly into his eyes. “Do you understand
what I'm trying to tell you, baby?” God he wanted to feel his cock buried to
the hilt inside of her beautiful body. He could already feel the heat radiating
from what he knew had to be her wet and ready pussy.
Just damn him.
He
was a horny bastard who had no business darkening the doorway to his innocent
woman’s bedroom.

“I
believe I know what you’re saying,” Perri said. “That you've been with a lot of
girls.” She shrugged, dropping her eyes to his Adam’s apple as he swallowed
hard a few times. “A lot of experienced women, too, I suppose.”

Nodding
slowly, Barrington confirmed, “Yeah, Perri . . . I have.”

A
strange feeling shot through Perri; a strange
possessive
feeling. She
ignored it. “You're a musician, Barrington, so it only stands to reason that
you've had your share of affairs. I'm not stupid. I know how the game is
played.”

“No,
Perri, you're not stupid.” Barrington studied her delicate flawless face then
looked in her chocolate brown eyes, admiring the soft structure of certain
Indian facial features, but also appreciating the fact that she was fully black;
not that he could not have been interested in her if she weren’t black; still his
preference had always been for black women. It was a personal choice, and Perri
was
his
beautiful black woman. That fact made him feel proud inside,
knowing he'd definitely found himself a good woman. Perri wasn't like other
women—young and old—who were constantly throwing themselves at him. She also
called it right when she said it was a game.

What
Perri didn't know was that he was way too tired of playing, and seriously
thinking about settling down. She also didn’t know how lonely he was on the
road without being able to see her on a daily basis. And since they'd been
seeing each other exclusively for the past year and a half, the longest he'd
been with any woman and had wanted to be with, naturally Perri was the one he
wanted to make a home for, settle down with, and have some babies.

The
problem was, at age twenty-six, Barrington didn't just want to settle for
casual dating. He wanted forever with his sweet Perri, but her being only
twenty-one, he wasn't sure how deep her feelings for him ran. Sure, he knew she
cared for him, he could feel it when she touched him—even innocently, and he
could see it in her expressive eyes every time she looked at him. But since she
had never dated anyone but him, he wasn't sure if she was ready to consider
settling down for the long haul with him.

Barrington’s
mind went to the velvet blue box in his bedroom. Over the last three months,
whenever he had spare time, he’d searched for the perfect ring to upstart a
pre-engagement with Perri. Every vibe she was giving off since he walked inside
her house said her body was ready, and he was more than ready to join his body
with hers in his bed forever. But still, he couldn’t just take for granted he
knew what his baby felt for him just because he knew he was head over heels in
love with his sweet Perri.

Pondering
all that, Barrington said, “You’re nowhere close to stupid, baby.” Perri was
smart, intelligent, funny, and the most beautiful person, inside where it
counts and outside where it doesn't hurt, he'd ever laid eyes on.

“Barrington,
even if you weren’t a musician, baby, you’re a gorgeous man so I can pretty
well imagine that it's fair to say you've been with plenty of women.” With a
one shoulder shrug, she briefly lowered her eyes as she said, “I know I can't
compete with all the other women—”

“No,
Perri.” He touched her lips to quiet her and lifted her chin. “You're not like
all the others. I would never want you to be.” He smiled affectionately. “I
love that about you.”

Did
he just say love
?

As
if reading her mind, Barrington said, “Yes, Perri, I did say
love
.”

“Oh,”
was all she could think to say, suddenly wishing she was Happy Feet so she
could do a victory dance.
God, my man loves me
! Perri knew he did, could
even pinpoint when his actions started to show his love for her. But still, to
hear him say it was a feeling like no other that left her suspended out of her
familiar element and dangling between heaven and earth, it just made her feel
that good that Barrington had chosen to give his love to exclusively to her.

Unsure
of how to take Perri’s silence, Barrington chuckled, but only for a moment.
“Does it bother you that I love you, baby?”

Perri
framed his face, kissed his smooth cheek and smiled. “Does it surprise you to
know I love you right back, G-Man?”

Barrington
couldn’t have stopped the grin that took up the space on his face if he’d
wanted to. “Don't shit me, Perri. You don't have to say it just because I did.”

“I
know I kid around a lot. But I would never joke about that, Barrington.”

“You’re
serious, girl?” She’d better not be playing with him; not about this.

Perri
stood, changed positions, climbing on top of him, straddling his lap. Her hands
slightly trembled but it wasn't from fear, only sweet anticipation as she
gingerly cupped his face with both hands. Looking into his beautiful yellow-green
eyes, she said, “Does this answer your question?”