If You Could See What I See (47 page)

32

I
’ve thought a lot about what I owe others versus what I owe myself.

I believe that I owe it to my grandma to keep her legacy alive. Lace, Satin, and Baubles is her legacy.

I like working here, especially since we’re back into profitability. I do different things every day. There are many moving parts—design, production, manufacturing, sales, advertising, accounting, people, on and on. It’s a challenge, no question. We’re able to donate to the community college scholarship fund, which supports one of Grandma’s rules for living: Keep a hand out to help someone up, but don’t give them two hands or you’ll enable them to be a weak and spineless jellyfish.

I particularly like being near to my mother—even though I am still mad at her—Lacey and Tory, Matt and Scotty, the kids, and the other people that I have known and loved for years who work here.

I loved making films. That was my passion. My experience with Aaron dimmed that passion. It took the soul out of it for me. I don’t know if my love of filming, of cameras, of storytelling, will ever come back like it used to be.

And I’m okay with that.

My life changed. It is what it is. As Grandma would say, “Blah, blah, blah, don’t whine.”

I will work one day to put together a film on my year of wandering. I’ll show the ranch in Montana, the church building we did in Mexico, the orphanage in Russia, the prostitute safe house in the Ukraine. I hope to hold the cameras in my hands again and think,
If you could see what I see.
I think I’ll find it healing.

But, for now, I’m going to work at my grandma’s legacy, be with Blake, and enjoy my life.

Yes, that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going to enjoy my life and be grateful for it.

I bought a blue sports car. It goes fast.

Based on the Bust Up and Shake It Adventure Club, I think Grandma would like that.

 

There is something magical about Maui. I had never been. In fact, I had not been on a vacation in years. I do not call my Year of Wandering a vacation, as I worked and volunteered the whole time and tried to muffle the screaming in my head.

I hardly knew what to do on a vacation, and it took several days for me to calm down and not work. Same with Blake. But the sun shone down, the waves splashed, the fantasy-like fish and enormous turtles swam only feet away from our snorkels, and the sunset view from Blake’s parents’ home took our breath away.

The most magical gifts, however, were Blake’s parents. Shep and Yvette were kind and welcoming. Their home was single story, filled with light and air and a garden overflowing with pink lokelani; kukui blossoms; red ohia; bougainvilleas; birds of paradise; and banana, koa, and palm trees.

They had a guest house in which we stayed. Our bedroom had a view of Lanai across the ocean. There was a bathtub built for two. We took baths at night together, and I filled the tub with bubbles named Tropical Flowers, Hawaiian Heaven, and Waves of Paradise.

We went to a luau with Shep and Yvette and ate Huli Huli chicken, kalua pua’a, taro rolls, watermelon, pineapple, and mangoes. We took a boat trip to Molokini to snorkel, but mostly we hung out at the beaches together or at their home.

Yvette told me as we walked along the beach one morning, “I am so happy, Meggie, that Blake has met you. It is a gift to my heart to see you hugging him, holding his hand, and the way he looks at you. . . . I’ve wanted to see him with someone like you. Exactly like you, Meggie. And I can’t wait to meet your mother. Can she come over with you next time? I have a few questions to ask her, her
specifically,
if you know what I mean. Also, I’m looking for lingerie that hides the not-so-young spots but enhances my bust. What would you recommend? Shep likes to see lace in bed. Blake, I’m sure, is the same way. Voracious, aren’t they, dear? It never ends. I’m so glad you’ll be officially joining our family soon.” She put both hands up in the air. “Hallelujah!”

“Uh . . . officially?”

Her hand flew to her mouth. “Please. Why can I not control my words? I’m old. I should be able to do this by now. . . .”

My heart felt like it was going to fly straight out of my body. I couldn’t help but remember Blake’s story, and how he had given away the secret that Shep was going to ask Yvette to marry him, too. I laughed. She put an arm around my shoulders. “I do so hope you’ll say yes.”

Later that afternoon, on the patio, palm trees swaying, the sun golden butterscotch, the clouds tumbling across an azure blue, Blake handed me two boxes. Inside one box were two gold bracelets, entwined, and encrusted with tiny sapphires, emeralds, and rubies.

“Friendship bracelets, honey,” he told me, slipping them on my wrists.

“I love them,” I whispered, and kissed him. “I love you, too. You’re my best friend, Blake.”

“And you’re mine, honey. Love you, too.” He handed me the other box. A ring box.

It was a beautiful diamond solitaire, with two bands filled with diamonds on either side. He picked me up and put me on his lap.

“How about it, Meggie O’Rourke? Would you like to be my Mrs.?”

I kissed him, held him close, laughed.
“Is that a yes or a no?” he asked.
“It’s a yes,” I said through my tears. “It’s a definite yes.”

 

 

 

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

 

 

The suggested questions are included to enhance your group’s reading of Cathy Lamb’s
If You Could See What I See.

KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

 

Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018

 

Copyright © 2013 by Cathy Lamb

 

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

 

Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

ISBN: 978-0-7582-5940-0

 

eISBN-13: 978-0-7582-8925-4

eISBN-10: 0-7582-8925-1

First Kensington Electronic Edition: August 2013