In the Stars (18 page)

The heart that truly loves never forgets.
        —English Proverb

Chapter Thirty-One

M
y heart is beating rapidly and I can’t stop looking at Josh. He is different somehow, at least different in my eyes. “Thanks for agreeing to dinner.”

“Of course,” Josh says casually.

I have so much to say but I am afraid it won’t come out the way I’ve planned in my head. Through the sparkling windows that line the outside of this contemporary, rotating restaurant, I see lights, cars, everything in motion. Calgary’s sprawling urban neighborhoods reach out in every direction, lit up in the peaceful night. Discreet waiters move among the tables, making sure that every diner’s experience at the Sky360 in the iconic Calgary Tower is completely ideal.

“I owe you,” I finally say. I can see my reflection in the mirror along a side wall. I am dressed to kill, hair flipped out at the bottom, understated pearl necklace that my dad gave me when I graduated from law school and a new dress, borrowed from Heather for the occasion. “Not just for the hearing, which is huge on its own, but for everything. My new job is amazing. Natasha is incredible to work with, the kids are so sweet and helpless, I have never been more excited in my life. I think about my cases all the time, I obsess about whether something will help them or hurt them, I wake up early just to get to work and get started without moaning about how much I hate my life. I owe it all to you, Josh. Thank you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Josh replies. “This is what friends do.”

“But I haven’t treated you like a friend lately, not even since we started talking again,” I argue. “Back in Victoria I was rude and stupid and—”

“And stubborn and irrational,” Josh adds.

I attempt to frown at him. “You’re not supposed to agree with me,” I protest.

He raises his hands into the cowboy, reach for the sky position and a slow smile stretches across his face. “But since I’m your friend, I have to tell you the truth. It’s in the handbook.”

“So you’re all about truth, are you?” I lean forward on the pristine white tablecloth. “I’ll tell you the truth, but you have to tell me one more truth of your own first.”
Courage, my heart.

“Sure,” Josh says and raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, are you serious about Julie? Heather told me about her. Are you two, like, dating and exclusive and in love and everything?” I can’t meet his eyes.

Josh grins and rests his chin on his hands. “Truthfully? No. We went out three times in total over the past few months, but I haven’t been able to get our relationship to go anywhere.”

“Why not?” I breathe, relief flooding over me.

“Because I love someone else,” Josh says simply. “And Julie knows that.”

My eyes fill and I pinch my leg under the table to refocus. Josh smiles once more and then adds, “Now, Miss Non-Disbarred Lawyer, tell me the truth
you
were going to say. You’ve heard mine.”

I take a sip of the Sprite Zero that has materialized in front of me. I hadn’t noticed the waiter at all. This is my opening and I am going to take it. Whether or not he accepts will be up to him, although his last statement has given me hope.

“You want truth? The truth is you need a haircut. I love it in the summer when your hair is all buzzed and military. It makes your face look more rugged and right now you look shaggy.” My eyes are locked on his again, just like yesterday in the empty hearing room. There is an expression of anticipation mixed with wonder on his face and it makes my heart feel like the Grinch when it grows three sizes in one day.

“The truth is you snore a little. I learned that the hard way in Victoria. I would suggest those special nose strips thingies that you can buy on infomercials at three in the morning. The truth is that I know it was you who ate my last Snickers bar in the cupboard a few months ago. I heard you come in when I was in the shower and Heather doesn’t eat chocolate when she’s in pageant mode. You owe me a chocolate bar.”

The waiter interrupts right then and we give him our orders. Chicken penne in a white wine alfredo sauce for me and a steak, medium rare, with twice-mashed potato and a Caesar salad for him. When the waiter disappears, I pick up where I left off.

“The truth is you have a ridiculously attractive body. I don’t know how I never noticed it before, but when you were shirtless at our hotel in Victoria, I couldn’t stop staring. You are going to have to go shirtless a lot in the future.”

Josh grins. “That can be arranged.”

“And you have to teach me of your ways, Master. How do you get abs like that? Sit ups?”

Josh laughs and puts a finger to his lips. “Shh, do you really think I am going to tell you my secrets here? We’re in public. I’ll bring you to my gym sometime. Show, not tell. Do you have any more nuggets of truth hidden up your sleeve that I should know about?”

“The truth is that your baseball cap with the frayed rim and faded letters irritates me beyond belief. I have bought you about five caps over the last few years, all with the secret hope that you would ditch your ugly one, and you haven’t. One day I am going to toss it in a dumpster without your knowledge.”

“Is this a pre-confession of guilt?” Josh chuckles and shakes his head in mock consternation. He brushes an invisible fleck of dust off the shoulder of his black suit jacket and winks at me. “I’m not the Catholic Church, you can’t gain forgiveness for a crime you haven’t yet committed.”

My right foot bumps his leg under the table and I feel a charge of electricity. Enough with the inconsequential truths. It’s time to tell him the real reasons for this dinner. I rest back in my chair and stare at him steadily.

“The truth is I am in love with you and not just in a friends way. When you came to my hearing at the Law Society and stood beside me, I felt like no matter the outcome, everything would be fine. You took my hand when they read their final decision and you sent butterflies into my stomach in a way that a mere friend could never do. When you’ve been going on those dates with Julie, I’ve been sick to my stomach wishing I could turn back time and be the one going out with you. The truth is the insane jealousy that sprang up in my chest every time I thought of the two of you together made me finally understand that you are so much more to me than a best friend.”

My hands tremble on the tablecloth. Josh reaches across and silently takes them in his. His touch steadies me and I am positive this is right. How it took me so long, I’ll never know.

“The truth is you make me happy. You make me laugh. You help me out when I am down and have nowhere else to turn. You stand by me when I stupidly run across the country after an ex-boyfriend who is a complete idiot. You forgive me when I hurt you irrationally. You love me when I don’t deserve it. You put me ahead of your own thoughts and feelings. You are the person I want to impress most in the world. I crave your approval; I want to make you proud.”

The room is silent. Time stops. It’s just Josh and me.

“The truth is that over the past few months when you were first of all not in my life twenty-four/seven, I missed you so bad it hurt. Then when we started emailing and talking again, I realized that you absolutely mean more to me than anyone else in the world. You are the one who almost got away and I can’t allow that to happen. I cannot fathom an entire life without you. I need you. I want you. I love you.”

I finally stop my monologue. I have run out of things to say. Everything else I want to tell him cannot be put into words. Because sometimes words are not enough. I inch my chair around the circular table, one centimeter at a time. It scrapes slightly on the floor until I have maneuvered myself beside Josh.

“I love you,” I say once more and then lean forward.

I don’t know what to expect—fireworks and confetti maybe, but when our lips touch for the first time, it is a simple feeling that just feels right. We kiss gently. I know Josh, I know everything about him. But suddenly he is brand new. I am exploring him for the first time and my heart races. There is excitement and fear and joy as his arms come around me.

“What about your whole ‘friends can’t be lovers’ idea?” Josh asks. I can hear his heartbeat, steady and rhythmic, and I want to get lost in this moment forever.

“I’m an idiot. The best thing in the universe, I’ve finally discovered, is being madly in love with your best friend.” Telling the truth is easy when I’m telling it to him.

Josh makes a low noise in the back of his throat and his lips curl up. His eyes say that he likes what I just said. “You know how I don’t believe in destiny?” he murmurs, pulling away for a second. He brushes that annoying, flyaway strand of hair from my eyes and runs a finger down my cheek. My entire body is on pins and needles.

“Yeah?”

“I was wrong. This can’t be an accident, me and you. We were meant to be. It was in the stars.” His lips brush mine again and under the table his hands grab my own. “So, does this mean you are finally willing to go on a date with me? An actual date that isn’t platonic or interrupted with thoughts of other men?”

I sense that I am grinning idiotically. “I wouldn’t go that far.” He pokes me in the side and I wiggle a bit in my chair. “Okay, fine, maybe I’ll agree to that. Who am I to argue with destiny?”

He reaches for me and his soft lips close on my own. I close my eyes and get lost in the moment. I don’t know what the future holds, but at least I know this much. I’ll be okay as long as Josh is in my life. He is the only thing I need to be happy. He’s it. The one who
almost
got away.

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
        —Latin Proverb

About the Author

W
hitney Boyd was born and raised in Canada where she graduated in 2010 from the University of Calgary. She is currently working on her post-graduate degree and enjoys spending her free time with her husband and children. She loves warm weather, running and eating chocolate, sometimes all at once. Her other novels are
Tanned, Toned and Totally Faking It
and
Iced Romance.