Irritable (2 page)

"I did
not steal the power cord to your stereo, young lady. It is between the
screen door and the front door of your condo, and as for making threats against
your person... I promised to spank you if you went out of your way to irritate me
again last night, and since I appropriated your stereo cord until this morning,
I made that virtually impossible."

"You
put your hands on my person!" Kelsey accused in outrage and indignation.

"I
picked you up and sat you down out of my way. Were you harmed in any
way?" he asked, already knowing the answer... provided she told the truth.

"No,
but you can't touch someone without their consent!" Kelsey heard a few
snickers from the onlookers.

"Listen,
Pebbles, this argument is pointless. You are not injured. Your
power cord is on your own property, and the only reason you came down here was
to make trouble. Unless you want a citation for unruly conduct and
refusing to follow orders issued by a police officer doing her duty, you will
take your butt on home... and keep your stereo turned down so that I can't hear
it when I am trying to sleep. Officer Lucia, if this young woman is still
here in two minutes, you will arrest her. Is that clear?" he demanded,
turning on his heel and walking back to his office.

"Yes,
sir," Officer Lucia promptly answered and Kelsey could see the woman was trying
not to smile.

Kelsey
was out of the building in less than two minutes, plotting her revenge.
She was going to make Chief Blankenship very sorry for threatening to have HER
arrested when he was the one in the wrong!

*****

Cleve
looked up when Officer Lucia walked into his office a few minutes later.
"Did Pebbles leave?" he asked.

"Yes,
she did. Cleve, what happened with her last night?" the pretty young
woman asked with familiarity. "She sure was angry with you!"

"She's
my new neighbor, Nina, and according to the guy I bought the condo from, she's
one nasty lady." Nina giggled, and Cleve raised a dark eyebrow at
her. "Just what is so funny, little girl?"

"She's
met her match in you, and that is a fact. I can't wait to tell Mama about
this!"

"You
leave your Mom out of this, young lady!" Cleve growled.

"No
way. This is family news, not work stuff." Nina danced out of his
office and Cleve shook his head. It pleased him to keep Nina where he
could watch over her and do his best to keep her safe, but at times it made
keeping certain things that should be personal and private completely
impossible. He would bet his badge that his niece was already on the
telephone calling his eldest sister and filling her in. He glanced out
the door, and sure enough, Nina was on the telephone, giggling and talking as
fast as she could. Cleve reminded himself that he couldn't spank Nina any
more. She had a husband, was expecting her first child, and they were at
work. He'd just have to put up with his sister's call and interminable
questions, which was Pebble's fault.

Cleve's
musing was cut short when two of his detectives knocked on his door and wanted
to speak to him. Cleve could see at a glance that the rapist had left
another victim. The man and woman team filled him in on the latest crime and
he could see that both of them were visibly shaken. Once the newspapers
linked the rapes together, there was going to be panic... and the Mayor would not
be pleased. Cleve hated politics. Handling the Mayor and the media
took up entirely too much of his time. He made a few suggestions to his
detectives and hoped they'd get a break on the case soon.

The
rest of his day was predictable, including the telephone call from his sister,
who didn't believe him when he said there was nothing going on between him and
his neighbor. Cleve was happy to leave the office and make his way
home. It had been a very long day, and he wanted nothing more than to get
out of his suit and tie and slip into some sweats, flip on the television, and
heat up a can of soup for his dinner. Cleve wasn't a good cook, and most
of the time he either ordered take-out, or had a pizza delivered, or threw a
frozen dinner in the microwave. Tonight he wanted comfort food, and that
meant soup, just like Mom used to make... from the red and white can.
MMMmmm
good!

Cleve
turned on his street and cursed when he saw a dark pile of what appeared to be
dirt in front of his garage door. He ended up parking by the curb in
front of his condo and marched up the driveway and the stench coming from the pile
about knocked him over! It was manure! Pure and simple...! A
big pile of cow droppings! Exactly what he needed to make his day
complete! The neighbors would be complaining, and it was a poor way to
make a first impression on people he would be living beside!

Cleve
put his key in the front door and once he was inside he jerked off his
tie. The light on his answering machine was blinking and he hit
'play'. "This is Fred Treas. I delivered the manure your little
wife ordered. The load was a bit short of what I promised, so I'll bring
the rest tomorrow. First time I was ever told to dump it in front of the
garage door... but I reckon you got a reason. Thanks for the
business." Cleve promptly checked the Caller ID and got Fred
Treas
on the telephone. He assured the man that he
didn't have a wife, and asked if it was possible the farmer had the wrong
address. Fred read back the address on his order, and then described
Cleve's 'wife' in detail. Cleve assured the man that he didn't need to
deliver the rest of the manure since he was the victim of a practical
joke. Mr.
Treas
was distressed, but pleased
that Cleve was so understanding and absolved him of all guilt. Cleve hung
up the telephone, and then slapped his hand on the desk. "That redheaded
little witch!" Cleve growled. He was going to get out of his suit, and
then go and pay her a visit... Pebbles wouldn't be able to sit down by the
time they finished THIS discussion!

Chapter Two

Cleve
took his time changing out of his suit. He wanted to give his temper a
bit of time to cool before he paid his feisty neighbor a visit. He'd
known she was upset with him last night and again this morning, but she'd gone
too far with this little bit of revenge. Of course, she was going to deny
any involvement, and he was going to paddle her butt for lying, too. He
was walking through the house, prepared to go and visit Pebbles when his
doorbell rang.

"Chief
Blankenship!" the officer standing there looked at him in surprised
recognition, but his expression changed to one of horror at the situation in
which he found himself..

"Officer
Divens
, what can I do for you?" Cleve asked
cordially.

"Uh...
well... There's been a complaint, sir. Your neighbor doesn't like the
odor... I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know you lived here," the young man
swallowed hard, hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt."

"Who
made the complaint?" Cleve asked curiously.

"Miss
Kelsey Sherwood," he pointed to Pebbles' condo.

"Thank
you, Officer. I'll get it cleaned up right away. It was a practical
joke... by Miss Sherwood, and I am sure she is going to want to clean it up."

"Is
she that woman who came in to the station this morning?" the young man's
curiosity got the best of him. "
Awww
shoot! I'm sorry, sir. That's none of my business."

"Yes,
it's the same woman, and it appears I'm going to have to lay down the law
pretty firmly," Cleve confided. "Don't worry, Officer
Divens
,
I will see to it this mess is cleaned up right now. If anyone else calls
to complain, tell them the situation is under control."

"Yes,
sir, I can do that. Thanks for being so understanding."

"You
did your job, Neil, and I appreciate how difficult it was for you." Cleve
smiled at the young man to show there were no hard feelings. He watched
as the young officer followed procedure and radioed in that he was finished
with the call and available. Cleve then stuck his keys in his jeans
pocket, shut the door, and marched next door.

"I
certainly hope you intend to get that disgusting mess cleaned up immediately,
Chief Blankenship!" Kelsey stepped outside to confront him before he could ring
the doorbell. "I like to have my windows open, and with that stench, it
is impossible to do so!" She wanted to laugh at the look of anger on his
face. She'd seen the police car come to follow up on the complaint she
called in.

"I
came to see if you wanted to help clean it up... in the spirit of neighborliness,
of course," Cleve said.

"Sorry,
I'm working and much too busy. You shouldn't have ordered this stuff if
you didn't have time to deal with it."

"I
didn't order it."

"You
didn't?" Kelsey asked in surprise.

"Did
you happen to see who made the delivery? I'm sure there has been a
mistake of some sort." Cleve wanted to see how far Pebbles was willing to
go with her deceit.

"No, I
didn't see a thing," she lied. "She'd watched through the window as Mr.
Treas
unloaded the stuff right where she asked him to.

"You
don't know anything at all about this...?" Cleve asked with a disarming smile.

"Nope,
not a thing," Kelsey felt smug. "I feel sorry for you, having to clean up
that mess in this weather. It smells so bad!" she commented, and it was
all she could do to keep from laughing at him. Revenge smelled sweet.

"Mr.
Treas
called, Pebbles. Said he wasn't happy because
he felt the load was too small for what my wife paid. Naturally I called
the man back to see if he made a mistake on the delivery. Imagine my
surprise when he described my wife..."

"Really?
I didn't know you were married?" Kelsey prided herself on having a decent poker
face.

"I'm
not." He gave her one of his 'tell me the truth' smiles, and then said,
"Mr.
Treas
is a little put out that he was involved
in a prank."

"Well,
I imagine so. Poor man!"

"He
suggested a good spanking for the woman who pulled this prank."

"A
spanking!" Kelsey repeated in shock. "That is ridiculous!"

"I
think a spanking is exactly what she needs," Cleve said, nodding his head.
"Fortunately, I was able to get a good description."

Kelsey
started to feel a bit uneasy. In her plan, Mr.
Treas
didn't call and talk to Cleve, but the man was a cop and she should have known
he would get to the bottom of things. "Well, I hope you catch her," she
said with a disarming smile. "I need to get back to work."

"You
need to get to work, all right," Cleve nodded in agreement. "You need to
get busy cleaning up this mess."

"What?
Don't be ridiculous!"

"Mr.
Treas
said my wife is tiny and has red hair and wears it
pulled up on top of her head... just like Pebbles Flintstone," Cleve added that
last little touch just to watch her green eyes turn to fire.

"You
don't think I am responsible for this, do you?" Kelsey faked indignation.

"No, I
don't think you responsible, I KNOW you are responsible, Pebbles. You
wanted a bit of revenge and now you are going to clean up this mess. Just
tell me one thing, do you want your spanking before or after you move that mess
from my driveway?"

"Now just a
minute, Mister! You can't seriously expect me to clean up this
sh
**!" Kelsey was furious. "I won't do it!"

"Yes
you will, or you'll get a spanking before AND after," he promised.

"You
wouldn't dare do that! You can't come over here and start making
accusations. You don't have any proof."

"I'm
sure Mr.
Treas
would be willing to ID you, Pebbles,"
Cleve stated matter-of-factly. "The man feels you used him and he doesn't
like it. He is an honest, hard-working farmer, and he doesn't appreciate
being part of a practical joke."

Kelsey
was not one bit happy at being caught out. "I can't see why he is so
upset. I paid him well, and even extra to get that stuff delivered
today! He should be happy he made a sale, and he had no right to betray
me when he learned it was a practical joke!"

"He's
upset because you made a fool of him, Pebbles. You'd best get busy; it's
going to take all evening to move that stuff out of my driveway, and if I get
any complaints from the other neighbors, you're going to tell them that this
was your idea of a joke."

"No I
won't!" Kelsey refused. "I'm busy with work, and you are on your
own. Next time you're tempted to take someone's stereo power cord perhaps
you'll remember this lesson!" Kelsey turned to go back inside her house
but Cleve took her arm and stopped her.

"Pebbles,
I am dead serious. You ARE going to clean up this mess, and you ARE going
to do it right now. One more word of argument, or one more nasty comment,
and you ARE going to get a spanking before getting started, and when you are
finished, you ARE going to get a spanking for pulling such a ridiculous,
childish, petty stunt, and then trying to lie about your involvement.
Now, you come on out here and get a shovel and get busy, or we'll go inside my
garage and paddle your cute little fanny."

"You
just try it, you big bully, and I'll call the cops and have you arrested, and
if they refuse, I'll call the television station and report you to the media!"
Kelsey promised, trying to jerk her arm free of his grasp. It didn't
work. Cleve held her tightly and pulled her along with him to his place,
where the garage was already open. "No, you wouldn't!" she tried once
again to free herself from his grasp.

Cleve
was through talking. He pulled her along and hit the button to close the
garage door, and while the heavy door was coming down, he took a seat on the
steps leading into the house and jerked her down over his knee and started
spanking the seat of her jeans.