Just a Little Surprise (6 page)

“
And he supposedly loved me,” I said. “And then
you
stepped into his life, and all of a sudden
I’m
the one who’s toxic!”

“Luke’s my brother,” she said
, turning around to make sure no one else had heard her revelation. She took another step closer and kept her voice low. “And Molly, my daughter, is his niece.”

“Bull
—”

“It’s true,” she said
. “I came here to find my family, Julie—”

“No one knows you, Rebecca,” I said. “Lonnie and Grace—Luke’s own
father and step-mother—had no idea who you were until the day you stepped into that shop looking for a job. And now you’re telling me that those people are your family? I don’t buy it.”

“Lonnie,” she said, looking back at the shop. She lowered her voice to lessen the risk of being overheard. “Lonnie’s my
biological father. He was married to my mother for six months shortly before I was born. One day he met someone else—Luke’s mother—and he left my mom. He left without as much as a goodbye. So when Mom found out that she was pregnant, she didn’t contact him. She didn’t want him to know, to come crawling back. She knew he’d want to help, step up and do the right thing. But he’d hurt her, and she was stubborn; she wanted nothing else from him.” She took a deep breath. “Lonnie didn’t know me… because he never knew I existed.”

I watched her eyes fill with tears as she dropped her head to the ground. Her chest rose with heavy breaths; she fought not to let a single tear slip down her cheek.

“You came to Oakland to find the man who abandoned your mother?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” she said
, looking back at me. “Because, yes.  Lonnie left my mom. And who’s to say that he wouldn’t have done it even if he
had
known about me? But my daughter is six now, and my mother is dead. Luke… Lonnie… they’re the only family I have left. And if there’s any chance that I can make this work with them, I have to. Molly deserves a family.”

A tear finally cut loose as she
stood there, scarred and hurt.

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” I said
, dropping my shoulders. “You
should
want to know your father.”

She nodded as if she was glad she had my approval, although my opinion shouldn’t have mattered one way or another. I couldn’t help but wonder if Rebecca had spent her whole life seeking approval from the people around her—family, friends, and strangers alike. Abandonment al
ways landed hand-in-hand with a lot of emotional scarring; that was a fact I’d learned firsthand.

“
I lost both of my parents,” I told her, but I imagined she already knew. “If I had a chance to see them again—if only for a day—there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make it happen. I know what it means to have that hole in your heart, that hole that only your parents can fill. I can’t relate to your situation as it is, but I
can
relate in my own twisted way. And I think you’re brave, Rebecca. It takes a special kind of person to chase ghosts.”

“I never meant to come between you and Luke,” she said
, reaching forward. Her gentle hand landed softly on my shoulder. “That was never my intention, Julie. When Grace gave me a job at the shop, and Lonnie introduced Luke as his son… it was the first I’d ever heard of having a brother. And I went to Luke first thing. I thought he might be my ticket to getting closer to Lonnie.”

“Guess you learned otherwise?”

“I didn’t know just how damaged his relationship was with our father… and we’ve bonded over that. And when I introduced him to Molly, I knew I’d made the right decision. Luke welcomed her with open arms; she took to him so fast. He showed her the love and compassion that she deserves.”

“Yeah,” I said, not doubting
her for a second. Luke had it in him to be the most kind, caring, compassionate person in the world… he just had a very selective group of people he showed that side to. And lately—and for reasons unknown to me—I was no longer in that group.

“
I’m sorry, Julie. I know he’s been spending too much time with me and Molly… and he’s pushed you away. I’ve begged him to tell you the truth, but he’s so stubborn—”

“Don’t apologize,” I said. “I shouldn’t…
.” I took a deep breath and nodded, hoping she’d understand that I didn’t expect her to do her brother’s dirty work. “I shouldn’t have heard all of this from you, Rebecca. I’m glad you told me; I’m happy I finally know the truth, I really am. But the truth should’ve come from him. And he didn’t trust me enough to tell me. So, I think that says more about our relationship than anything else. Luke and I were right in so many ways, but we were wrong in so many more.”

“He loves you
.”

“I know,” I said. “But his lies, his dishonesty…
it’s more stress than I have the patience to deal with. Truthfully, I’ve been a little short-circuited lately. So much has changed in such a small amount of time. This last year has undoubtedly opened my eyes to the brevity of life… and love. I just can’t deal with the games anymore; I’m not the kind of girl to sit around, and Luke’s not the kind of guy to chase. He thinks I’m toxic.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean
—”

“It’s
okay, really—”

“He’s sorry
—”

“You don’t have to apologize for him,” I said. “
He doesn’t even have to apologize for himself. I’m not looking to make up with him, Rebecca. I’ve closed that door. I don’t want someone in my life who thinks I’m poisonous. I don’t want to hold on to someone I can’t trust, or someone who can’t trust me. I don’t want to spend every day fighting for someone’s attention. As great as the good times are, I don’t want to fight like hell to get through the bad times. And fighting… God, that’s all we ever do.  I know love isn’t easy, but it
has
to be easier than this. I just want someone who loves me… someone who’s honest with me… someone who misses me when we’re apart. I want to laugh; I want to be happy again. I want….”

She stared at me for a few long seconds as tears spilled
onto my cheeks. She nodded as if she knew exactly what I was about to say.

“Oh my God,” I said, reaching up and taking the necklace in my hands. “I want Derek.”

“And that, Julie,” she said, pulling me into a hug. “Is exactly what Luke’s been waiting on you to realize.”

Chapter Five

Friday, March 08

Kara and I ended up at Frank’s Bar & Grill for our pre-planned Friday dinner. According to my guesstimation, this was the first stage in the Friday-night-surprise-party-celebration. Kara was ordered to take me out, feed me, show me a good time, and keep me away long enough for Charlie to set up and allow guests enough time to arrive.

And I was quite thankful to have some time
alone with her. There were so many things I needed to talk about, things that only a girlfriend could shed some light on.

Over appetizers
—I settled for the blooming onion, because it didn’t much matter how bad my breath smelled. I wasn’t gonna be kissing anyone anytime soon—I told Kara all about the phone call and text message from Derek. I refrained from spilling the details about Luke and Rebecca; that wasn’t my news to share. And I certainly tried my best to convince her that the little spat I had with Matt was nothing to be concerned about. The last thing I needed was to worry her about choosing sides. But I was glad when she ignored my mention of Matt. She zoomed right in on the subject I wanted to focus on the most.

“
Did you text him back?”

“Nope,” I said. “I didn’t know what t
o say. Part of me wanted to say
if you miss me, then come home
. But that would’ve been selfish.
I’m
one of the reasons he left. I reminded him too much of the life he needed to let go of. I couldn’t ask him to do something like that. I don’t wanna be one of those girls who expect everyone to give up their hopes and dreams just to make her happy.”

“Oh, man,” Kara said, taking a drink of
lemonade. She slouched a little further in the booth and fumbled with her straw. “You think he left because of you?”

“Well, yeah
—”

“
I thought you said
Luke
was the reason he left.”

“Yea
h, but I don’t know the details,” I said. “For all I know, I never will. I never gave Luke the chance to explain himself, and Derek never mentioned it when we talked. I think… maybe Derek still thinks I’m chasing Luke. And maybe he doesn’t want to get involved.”

“You didn’t tell Derek that you and Luke aren’t together?”

“No,” I said, pushing the appetizer aside. “When Derek left… Luke and I
weren’t
together. As far as he knows, we never
got
together. I never told him any different. It just didn’t come up.”

“Are you
going
to tell him?”

“When?”
I asked. “I’ve spent months calling and texting him. I’ve left hundreds of voicemails. He’s never once responded.  Wednesday was the first I’d heard from him since he left. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me, and I have to respect that.”

“But when he calls
again,” she said. “And he’s ready to talk… he should know the truth.”

“Obviously,” I said. “I’d never lie to him.
But I don’t think he’ll call. I think… I think he’s really gone this time. And then that brings me back to Matt,” I said, dropping my head. “I needed his support, so I told him everything. Well, everything except the part about Luke sneaking through my bedroom window on Wednesday morning.”

“
Yeah, he would’ve flipped—”

“But he totally
jumped down my throat
without
that information! I don’t understand what happened, Kara. He was the one who said he suspected something.
He
was the one pushing for me to find the truth. And
he
was helping me. And now… I just don’t know. It’s like Luke’s convinced him that I’m a monster.”

“
I know it’s easier said than done, but you need let everything Matt says go in one ear and out the other,” she said. “He hasn’t been himself lately, you know that. Give him some space. He’s stressed, and he’s taking it out on everyone.”

“Yeah,” I said, knowing very well that Kara was probably still worried about Matt’s
erratic behavior. After all,
I’d
finally learned why he’d been sneaking around. He’d been working two jobs to save money, money he needed to afford an engagement ring. And it’s not like I could come right out and tell her what I knew, but I’d done my best to ease her mind. Shortly after I’d learned what Matt was really up to, I’d told Kara that he was working two jobs to save up for college. It was the best excuse I could come up with without drifting too far from the truth. And she understood, talked to him, and things seemed to be okay between them. But she still had her weak moments whether she wanted to admit it or not. I couldn’t blame her for that.

“
So,” I said, desperately wanting to move the conversation as far away from my problems as possible. “Do you think you and Matt will make it long-term?”

“I hope so,” she said, trying to hide a goofy smile behind her glass. “He’s so… amazing.
When he’s not under a ton of stress, that is.”

“Yeah,” I said, wholeheartedly agreeing.
“You got lucky with that one.”

“I know,” she said.
“And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Luke? Derek? Where do you see yourself five years from now?”

I dropped my head. “Luke’s history… and Derek’s not an option.”

“So?”

“So… long-term… I see myself living with Charlie, Elvis, and about five hundred cats.
I think I’m swearing off men for the rest of my life. They’re nothin’ but trouble.”

She smiled. “
Is
Luke history? Really?”

“I respect
Luke,” I said. “And I understand now why he’s done what he’s done. I can’t explain it; it’s not my place to say anything. But I understand. I just hate the way he went about hiding things. His tactics were wrong. He didn’t have to hurt me in the process of protecting someone else.”

She nodded, but I knew she couldn’t understand. But I had no right to sit there and tell Kara about Rebecca, Molly, and Luke’s relationship. Luke didn’t trust me with the information, but that’s where he was wrong. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect him—to keep his secrets—no matter how little he thought of me. Though Luke had shut the door on our relationship—and I had allowed him to do so—I still wanted nothing but happiness for him. If keeping the secret made him happy, I wasn’t going to tell a soul.

“You wanna hit the road?” I asked, checking my watch. “Surely they’ve got the party ready to go by now.”

“You wanna leave?” she asked, seemingly surprised. “I thought you’d want to blow as much time as possible—”