Just Breathe (Blue #1) (4 page)

Dar grabs her keys and heads out the door, putting an end to the conversation. I follow her lead and climb into her little blue car. The engine purrs to life, and we leave for the mall. I’m glad to know Lucas isn’t a murderer. Dar seems to genuinely think he’s a good guy. I may not know him as well as she does—hell, I don’t know him at all—but I could tell by how cocky he was last night he’s accustomed to getting what he wants. He probably expects all women to drop their panties for him every time he licks those damn lips or smiles that hundred-watt smile. The majority of them most likely have already, apart from Dar. Lacey’s face immediately flashes through my mind.

The song “You’re My Best Friend” rings out from Dar’s purse, announcing an incoming text. It takes several seconds for me to recognize it’s the song she has set for my personal alert.

Only I don’t have my phone. Lucas does.

He has some nerve using my phone as he pleases. He’s lucky I have unlimited texting; otherwise, he would be paying for every text he sends. I grab Dar’s purse and bring it to my lap, digging around until her cell is in my hand. She doesn’t protest; she just laughs and continues to drive. I unlock her phone to read the text Lucas has sent.

“Dar, this man infuriates me. He not only stole my phone. He’s using it. What a douche!” I blurt out. She remains completely silent, but glances at me, occasionally grinning.

Cass: Cricket, looking forward to seeing you again. Lucas =)

I gaze at Dar’s phone in disbelief. He is an asshole. Immediately, I open Dar’s keyboard and begin to type a reply.

Dar: First off, you’re an ASS-HAT! Secondly, I do not doubt that you stole my phone and you suffer from habitual kleptomania. I was not as drunk as you think. I guess thanks for keeping it for me and not pawning it off to the highest bidder. ;) < . > Cassandra

Dar’s phone starts singing in my hand.

Cass: Cassandra, it is then. I like the way your name sounds coming out of my mouth. See you tonight. (Thinking of you) ;) Lucas

Imagining Lucas saying my name, well, screaming my name, really starts to turn me on. My stomach clenches, and it’s hotter than the pits of hell in this car. I glance down at the dash to make sure Dar didn’t accidentally turn on the heat. Nope, the air conditioning is running at the coolest setting. Needing to think of something other than Lucas moaning, I turn to Dar and say the first thing that crosses my mind, “How does Lucas know where we’re going?”

She nonchalantly shrugs her shoulders, but she definitely knows more than she is willing to tell. “Who knows? Maybe he’s one of those characters out of one of your paranormal books. Look out, Cass. Before you know it, you’ll be fantasizing about him,” she growls and wiggles her fingers in front of my face. She cackles at my bulging eyes and open mouth. At least she can’t read my mind; otherwise, she would find out how close she is to my thoughts.

“Whatever, just drive before you kill us,” I groan, hoping she does. She sticks out her tongue at me and puts her hands back onto the steering wheel.

“You’re fucking hilarious,” she says, laughing at me again.

Chap
ter 3

I close my eyes and begin to count

Every day I do this, hoping my words will not come out

Clutching my neck and holding my tongue

I keep reciting the numbers until I am done

Panic stricken and cheated by fate

In my heart, I can feel only hate.

Cassandra

“Cass, it’s not that short. You look so H-O-T! Quit pulling on it. You’re going to stretch the fabric,” Dar complains as she smacks my hands away from the skintight, black dress she picked out for me to wear tonight. The dress has a scoop neckline that emphasizes my cleavage. It clings to the left shoulder and has a slender strap with alternating silver rhinestones and spikes on the right. It really is quite extravagant. It adheres to my curves and stops mid-thigh. The darkness of the fabric drastically contrasts the ivory color of my skin. The outfit is complete with red candy-apple peep toes that have a silver zipper along the side.

Over the years, I’ve told myself I was immune to her ability to make people do whatever she wants, but this dress proves otherwise. If the decision were left up to me, I would have bought the black shirt that had “Have you seen my zombie?” printed on it. I thought it was funny, but when Dar saw it, I was afraid her eyes were going to sear holes into me. She put her hands on her hips and simply said, “No!” and pointed me back to the dressing room.

When I look in the long mirror before me, I barely recognize my reflection. I look sophisticated, full of determination, and downright beautiful. Dar must have magic dust hidden in her powder foundation because I don’t consider myself any of those things. She chooses the smoky look for my eye makeup and a red color called “Hot Mama” for my lips. I bat my eyelashes and turn to admire myself, trying to find something familiar in the mirror but come up empty-handed. I can’t find one damn thing about my appearance that resembles a part of who I am, apart from my red hair.

“Cass, you look hot. Quit dissecting every little detail. You’re my canvas, and I’m Picasso! I take pride in my work.” She nudges my shoulder with her own, causing me to lose my balance.

“Are you trying to kill me?” I wail and catch myself on the doorknob.

“Cass, calm down. I’m wanting to get you to loosen up, ya know?” Dar makes eye contact with me in the mirror as she thinks. “If you would take that stick out of your ass, I’m sure that would help.” Her voice is playful, but I know she is being serious.

“Whatever do you mean?” I ask in a Southern accent and put my hand to my chest, pretending to be in shock.

“You know exactly what I mean, Cass. He’s not going to come back, okay? I just wonder why you’re so terrified to let go. I know life hasn’t been easy for either of us, and you’ve had it harder than I have. However, that being said, he’s never going to touch you again; I’ll make sure of it. I’ll kill him if I have to.” Dar’s voice becomes colder and more distant the longer she talks.

After a moment of silence, I take the only fleeting chance I see to change the subject. I don’t want to discuss this anymore. I’m sick of thinking about him. “Hey, when did you say Hunter would be coming home?” Hunter is currently in the Army and should be finishing his tour in Iraq soon. At the mention of his name, her eyes burn with excitement and longing.

“He’s coming home in one week! Isn’t that great? I. Can’t. Wait!” She jumps up and down with my hair in the straightener.

“Geez, Dar! Are you trying to pull me bald?” I swat her hands away from my hair.

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” she stammers, releasing the hair she held captive in the straighter. “On the bright side, you’re ready. Take a look,” Dar says proudly, moving her hand in front of me like she’s Vanna White. I turn from side to side, checking my hair as it gleams in the light.

“Are we taking a cab again tonight, or should we drive?” I ask, never knowing from day-to-day what she is going to do. She has a car that she rarely drives when we go out because she refuses for either of us to be a designated driver.

“I think I’ll drive, and speaking of that, we should’ve been there two minutes ago,” Dar says, looking at her watch as her eyes widen. She runs out of the bathroom, but peeks her head back inside, staring at me as if saying, “Hurry up.”

“I’m coming,” I groan as I check my reflection one more time.
Here goes nothing,
I think as I slip off the heels and lace up my black and white Chucks. Dar may have gotten me into a dress, but I’ll be damned if I wear heels tonight.

We both get into the car, but Dar doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t even yell at me for changing shoes. Her silence is a dead giveaway she is up to something, and I bet it’s related to Lucas. I shift around in my seat and mull over how I expect tonight to go. I’ll march up to Lucas and demand my phone. Then, Dar and I can head straight out. I nod my head yes. That’s definitely what I’m doing. It’s probably the best plan. Lucas seems to be more of the ‘bag and tag’ kind of guy; one-night stands aren’t my thing.

“Dar, I know you come here all the time, but I swear, if there are strippers here again, I’m disowning you.” I give her an all-knowing look. “You’re up to something. I just can’t figure out what,” I say as we pull into the parking lot of the bar.

“I see you’ve found that stick again,” she pokes out her tongue at me and then continues, “Relax, Cass. Just breathe. Oh, did I mention it’s open mic night?” Dar turns off the ignition and gets out of the car. I breathe in and out more deeply than necessary as I lock her doors. I swear, one of these nights, someone will be hiding out in her backseat to rape and kill us.

The idea of open mic night seems harmless enough, I guess. As we did the night before, we walk into The Hot Spot, get our ID’s checked, and head toward the same booth we sat in last night.

Lucas watches us come inside as he grabs a swig of his beer. His stare makes me think of a lion ready to pounce on his prey, and since his focus is on me, I have a pretty good idea he wants to devour me.

My palms sweat. I nervously clench my bare neck and come to an abrupt halt.
I must have forgotten my necklace. I never leave home without it, ever.
Dar turns, her eyes meet mine, and she sees my look of panic. I hear a loud thud before realizing what has just taken place. Slowly, I replay the events leading up to the noise, trying to piece things together. Time moves slower than normal and then accelerates into maximum speed as if trying to catch up from the earlier time lapse. Dar has smacked me...twice in one day. “Why’d you do that, again?” Somehow these words find my mouth.

“I didn’t know what else to do. You were about to pass out. It was a necessary evil.” Her voice is frantic, and her breathing is uneven. Before Dar can elaborate, Lucas is at our side, grabbing me.

He holds me in a tight embrace as a deep growl vibrates from his chest. He lifts my feet off the concrete floor and cradles my body against his. I tense in his arms, taking a deep breath to calm myself. His intoxicating scent swirls around me. He smells like a mixture of rain on an April evening, a fine scotch, and freshly tanned leather. After taking another deep breath, my body relaxes as his scent soothes me. I lay my head against his hard chest and close my eyes.

“Well, I’m glad to see you, too, Cricket,” he says, letting a broad smile spread across his face as he looks down at me.

I jerk at the sound of his voice and freeze in place. A slow traveling heat warms my face, I’m sure, to a lovely shade of red. “Put me down! Haven’t you ever heard of personal space, you asshat?”

Lucas’ mouth sets into a hard line as he sets me down in the booth and sits beside me. Dar eyes me with concerns as she slides past the table and takes a seat on the opposite side of us.

The emcee takes the stage and begins to talk into the mic. “Up next we have Lucas ‘Lady Killah’ Daniels gracing us with “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons. Is this right, man?” He looks to Lucas, and he nods before making his way to the stage. “Okay, man, whatever you want, and as always, tip your bartender. Give it up for Mr. Daniels.” He places the mic back on its stand and walks to the side of the stage.

The crowd is small in here tonight, about twenty-five people. I would’ve thought it was bigger by the noise that erupted from them after the emcee stopped talking. It reminded me of when I went to see Avenged Sevenfold last summer in Detroit.

Unfazed by the crowd’s reaction, Lucas confidently struts up on stage and sits on the lone bar stool. He picks up the acoustic guitar and adjusts the microphone in front of him, preparing for his debut. He flips his head to the side, letting a piece of his light-brown hair fall from its place. It stops just before hitting the corner of his eye, and he uses the back of his right hand to brush it out of his way. The small gesture reveals a black tribal barn owl on the underside of his defined forearm.

I’ll have to remember to ask him why he chose an owl. I think they are beautiful.

His plain white t-shirt accentuates every muscle on his stomach. His look is complete with a dark pair of jeans and a black pair of biker boots. His cheekbones sit high on his face and appear flushed or possibly just rosy. I’m not sure which.

When he moves his head to the side, his eyes find mine. There are so many emotions gazing back at me: heartache and sorrow, love and lust, deception and truth. I tell myself he’s nothing more than a womanizer, but the longer I stare into his soulful eyes, the less I believe that to be true. The walls of my throat close, barely letting any air pass. My body loses its ability to function. I can’t breathe.

Once again, I kick myself mentally for choosing tonight to be so forgetful. I could use my necklace to help me out of this situation. I’ve never seen more alluring eyes; the way the light is shimmering from them I can’t look away. My breath gasps...in…out...

Just as I begin to count to myself, Dar leans in front of me, breaking my gaze away from Lucas. “Cass?” Dar asks. She looks at me like a frightened howler monkey. “Hey, quit holding your breath, or I’ll have to cause physical harm to you… for the third time today.” The look on her face sends me into hysteria. I can’t help it. I laugh so hard my eyes start to fill with tears, spilling down my cheeks.

“Well.” Lucas pauses, giving his brow a high arch in my direction. I smile impishly at him, again trying not to fall victim to his stare. I’m afraid if I do, Dar may cause permanent nerve damage to my face. “As Jay said, I’m Lucas Daniels, and I’m going to be covering ‘I Will Wait’ by Mumford & Sons. I’m going to play it a little differently from how they do. I just needed to borrow the words for tonight.”

He strums his guitar and then starts to sing. His voice is rough and deep; he puts a rock twist on the song, strumming the chords harder than the original version. It’s really beautiful. If he hadn’t said the title, I wouldn’t have recognized the song. Each movement his fingertips take across the frets of the guitar seems to make the music become his own, his charisma, and his loveliness.

I bite my lower lip and wonder how his hands would feel on my skin. I’ve never felt so drawn to anyone like this, but I fight the urge. Feeling this way about a person can only lead to one thing...pain, and I’ve dealt with more than my fair share for one lifetime.

When Lucas finishes the song, the crowd, made up of mostly females, explodes into applause. Maybe I’m not the only one his voice affects.

“Wow,” I whisper, amazed.

Dar looks at me in awe. “I know, right?” I’m not sure if she even heard me, or if she is just saying anything to respond.

Lucas sets the guitar back onto its stand on the stage and then rubs the back of his neck with his hand. He stands and speaks softly into the microphone, “Thank you for listening. I’ve spent twenty-four hours trying to think of the perfect words.” He lets out a small gruff laugh and looks at me. “But, I realized in this world there are no perfect words when you’re lost, only perfect moments.”

Lucas finishes before bouncing off the stage with energy. He returns to our booth and takes a seat. He slings his arm over my shoulders. “Listen, I know you think I’m an asshole.” Goose bumps rise on my skin as he whispers the words against my neck. “That probably isn’t far from the truth. I’m not usually into kleptomania, but last night was an exception. I had to find a way to see you again. Although it worked, stealing your phone wasn’t the best idea. You set it on top of the cab when we were helping Dartanya get inside. I’m not sorry for taking it; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. So, you see, I was merely doing us a favor.” He brushes a strand of fallen hair behind my ear, leaving my skin burning after his touch. Dar whistles, looking up at the ceiling. I wouldn’t be surprised if she orchestrated all of this.

Lucas relaxes his arm over my shoulders and pulls me to his side, leaving no room between us. His persistence and self-assurance are impressive, but I’m not sure how it makes me feel. I secretly inhale Lucas’ scent again and accept he isn’t moving his arm.

Dar doesn’t give me time to speak. She makes such a high-pitched noise it could wake the dead. “Yikes! What was that about?” I look at her, expecting answers for the pounding in my ears.

“It’s that time again,” Dar says.

“Tool Time?” I say awkwardly. I think I’m the only one that doesn’t know the exact time out of the three of us. Dar and Lucas don’t laugh; no, they howl in unison, but I don’t know why. They both look at me with pity in their eyes.

“What time is it? I fail to see what you two think is so hilarious. Seriously, tell me,” I insist. Just as the words leave my mouth, I notice Lacey walking toward us. She looks pissed, and I do the only smart thing. I start desperately searching through my purse for anything.