Justify My Thug (5 page)

“Angel, I'm not in the mood for your bullshit. You could have just as easily picked up the phone and called me. Just like you, I had no control over the girl calling. And you know I've been back and forth to New York dealing with my own drama. The number Aisha called from, we called back but no one is answering. Trae has been trying to get through on his phone. He has numbers of folks that Marvin was running with. I'm telling y'all, it's some shiesty shit going on, we just don't know what. Marvin was back getting high, so it ain't no telling. I just know that Aisha told me that she thinks her mom is dead and for me to come and get her. Then somebody took the phone from her.”

I put little Faheem to bed, went to my den and poured me a shot of Henny. I was both restless and tired. Hearing Jaz's voice over the phone was like déjà vu. I hated how she always reminded me of how I wished that I was in her shoes. I hated that she was the one that he always went home to. And this time would be no different. Well, there would be a difference. If he wants to be a part of his son's life then he would
have
to be a part of mine.

Seeing Faheem released so many suppressed emotions. Emotions that I had buried away very deep and never planned on digging up. I know I was wrong for not telling him about his son. But I knew that one day he would find him and it would hurt him. And I wanted him to hurt, too. I looked forward to the day when he would feel the same hurt that he left me with over and over. I poured another shot.

My doorbell rang and I decided to ignore it. It most likely was one of my brothers, but I was not in the mood for any company. I simply reclined back onto my favorite easy chair and closed my eyes. The bell rang again but I didn't care. I allowed the Hennessey to make me feel warm and fuzzy. The bell rang again and again and then my phone rang. I glanced over at the caller ID. It was
them
. When Jaz called me earlier I didn't know if it was from her cell phone,
their
house phone or
his
phone. I didn't want to know. What do they want this time? I answered it and she didn't even give me a chance to say hello.

“Faheem is at your front door. He said you won't open it.”

I almost shit on myself. “He's at my door?”

“That's what I just said.”

Oh Shit.
I ended the call and looked around the room as if Faheem could see me. I literally couldn't move. The bell rang again and this time I jumped up. I ran to my purse, put on some lip gloss and dabbed on some Heat by Beyoncé. The Henny hit me hard. Somehow I made it to the mirror and fingered my hair. The bell rang again. My heart was pounding a mile a minute. I tightened up the belt to my robe and headed for the front door. He was now pounding on the window.

“Okay. Okay,” I yelled before snatching the door open. “I told you tomorrow Faheem.”

He looked at me as if to say,
bitch please
and brushed right past me.

“Come in, please.” I was being sarcastic and I didn't mean to say that, but that's what came out.

“Who else is here with you?”

“Just me and your son.” I stood there playing with the sash on my robe as he stared me down. I think he was waiting on me to say something. But I couldn't. All of those old feelings came back and the next thing you know, I stepped up to him and my lips found his.

We were finally able to separate Trae and Kyron. It took a whole lot of begging from me and Tasha to get Trae to realize killing my brother was not something I could swallow. I left Tasha tending to Trae as I slipped out the door with my brother and cousin in tow. These two muthafuckas were partners in crime and the shit was eating me up. I was hoping to get to the bottom of the situation and put a stop to it before somebody got killed.

As soon as we got into the parking lot, Kyron got on some bullshit. “Yo, that nigga swung on me first, Kay. So don't start talking that bullshit to me, you saw that I was tryna bounce. You should have let us fight.”

“Let you fight? Nigga, where you think you at? In a cell? In the day room up North? Nigga's ain't fighting no more, Ky, they killing.”

“That nigga ain't the only one that kill—”

“That nigga? That nigga? Nigga, is you stupid? Because you actin' like a real bitch right now. You act like Trae ain't family,
nigga. I don't believe this shit. That nigga, as you say, was the same nigga that touched two of your witnesses after you blew trial. That nigga, made sure that I was straight so that I could keep your books straight. All that fly shit you like to wear, all them fuck books and flicks, that nigga was in on that shit. Them bad dime bitches that hiked up North in the snow, nigga, he sent some of them too, remember? That nigga always loved you, and this is how you repay the man? C'mon Kyron, you fuckin' kidding me right? You fuckin' the man's wife, now he catches you with her and all you can say is, ‘Yo, he swung on me first'?” I couldn't believe the stupid shit he was saying.

I walked up on my brother, put my finger in his face and said, “Him swinging on you was the least he could do. Be thankful that you still breathing.”

“Thankful?”

“Yeah, nigga. Thankful. You know Trae, just like I know him. If it wasn't for ma, and Kyra's daughter calling Tasha's cell phone, you'd be dead, fool.”

Kyron laughed. “Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. Yeah, the nigga did some shit for me, but he ain't the only one. Shit, what I'm supposed to do? Suck his dick? Fuck that nigga! I don't owe him shit. I put y'all niggas on. He owes me and I'll take his bitch as a down payment. What the fuck is wrong with you? Got me out here explaining myself in the middle of the night.”

“You fuckin' up, Kyron.”

“Don't worry about me, Kay. Let me do me. And because I love you I'm gonna tell you one more time to mind your fuckin' business.”

“Nigga, this family
is
my business.” I looked him dead in the eye. “And watch your mouth.”

Kyron hawked and spit out a wad of blood. He came up on
me as we stood nose to nose. Clenching his teeth he said, “This family may be your business, but I'm home now. So don't forget I'm in
charge
of this fuckin' family!” He pounded on his chest. “How the hell you gonna stand here and go against me? Trae is like family, no doubt. But that's Santos blood running in your veins. You never cross your blood. Don't you ever cross me, muthafucka. You know how I get when a muthafucka crosses me.”

“Oh, you threatening me now?”

“C'mon y'all,” Kendrick pleaded.

Here we were, eye to eye, neither one backing down. All I could think was
did this nigga, my brother, my own flesh and blood just threaten me?
Then he turned and walked away.

I yelled out, “You know what? You on your own nigga. When you get so deep that you can't get out, don't say that I didn't try to intervene. You playin' with fire nigga. And another man's wife
is
that fire.”

I left my brother standing there. Why? Because there wasn't shit left to say. I fucked Tasha, yes. But did I regret it? Hell no. I already knew I was playing with fire but I didn't give a shit. I do what the fuck I want. I stopped walking and turned around to look at my brother. I warned him again, “This ain't got nothin' to do with you.”

He was just standing there looking at me and shaking his head. “Walk away now. If you don't, shit is going to get real ugly.”

Kendrick hit the horn and I turned away from Kay. Kendrick was already in our rental and had it revved up. I knew that my cousin was heated and was going to be talking shit. He was deep
in pussy all night, and was dog tired and all of this bullshit got him up out of his sleep. He was planning on laying up with Trina for another day. But now, thanks to me, his trip was cut short.

I jumped in the ride and took out my cell. I called Tasha and she picked up on the first ring. “Nigga, are you crazy?” She gritted on me.

“You were crying when I left. I need to know that you are alright. Go somewhere where you can talk. Or do you want me to come back?”

She was quiet. I guess she was weighing her options. She then had the nerve to hang up on me. I called her ass right back. “Tasha, talk to me. That test said positive.”

“You don't have to remind me of that, Kyron. But now is not the time. I'm hanging up.”

“Shoot back to the city as soon as you can,” I told her. She hung up on me again. “Turn the car around Kendrick.”

“What?” He looked over at me.

“Turn the car back around. I got something I need to do.”

“Nigga, come on. I think you need to chalk up your loss and keep it movin' for right now. Your brother back there trippin', Trae back there itchin' to blow you the fuck away and you talkin' about turn the car back around.”

“Nigga turn the car back around or let me out here.” Yeah. I said it. All the while thinking,
Damn. Good pussy will get you hemmed up every time.

I had to control my shaking. When my cell rang and I saw that it was Kyron I'm sure the color drained from my skin. How was
this nigga going to call me at a time when I got grenades blowing up all around me? Lucky for me Trae was so caught up with getting a hold to Marvin that he was not focused on me. So I eased down the hallway and picked up the pregnancy test off the floor. I was holding it when Kyron called. When he mentioned coming back, I panicked and hung up on him. The second time he called, Trae was coming down the hallway. I hung up and went to give my phone to Trina. She was in her bedroom. I then went back to deal with Trae. I turned around to face him. “What did you find out? Did you talk to him or Aisha?”

“Sit down Tasha.”

“What? Sit down? No Trae. Just tell me.” This had to be bad. My head was spinning. “Just tell me, don't sugarcoat it. Where is Kyra?”

He led me to the extra bedroom and sat me down on the bed. His phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and answered it. He stepped out the room and closed the door. I jumped up and followed behind him. “Trae, no. I need to know what's going on.” He went into the bathroom, shut the door and locked it. I stood by the bathroom door and tried to listen but he was talking low. He finally came out and brushed past me. I followed him into the living room. Kaylin was back, Trina had let him in and he was sitting on the couch. “Talk to me Trae.”

He sat next to Kaylin. “Yo.” Trae ran both hands across his face. “I don't know how all this went down without me knowing about it.”

“What?” Me and Kaylin asked at the same time. I sat in the chair across from Trae.

“Apparently, Marv jacked some nigga for his dope and cash some years ago. That same nigga recruits Marv's own cousin to
jack Marv back and them niggas start bustin' right there on the block. Word is, Kyra was with them and so was Rick.” He looked at his watch. “I'm supposed to meet with one of Marvin's cousins in about an hour. I hope to get more answers along with some addresses.”

I was still stuck on the Rick part. “Rick?” I said.

“Yeah. Marv is the one who supposedly took him out. He was mad that him and Kyra was creepin' around.” He let his words hang in the air as he glared at me as if his shit didn't stink. Then he got up to leave.

“So where is Kyra and Aisha? Where is Marvin? You talked to him?” I knew Trae and I knew where he was going. I called myself steering away from the ‘creepin' around' subject. He wasn't going for it because he got up and came over to where I was.

He stood over me as I looked up at him and sneered, “What? Y'all bitches signed a pact? Y'all runnin' around here fuckin' all our friends and shit. Who is Angel fuckin'?” He turned to Kaylin. “And what about Jaz she got some side dick too?”

I couldn't believe he said that shit. “What the fuck ever, Trae. Mr. Dirty Dick ass nigga. All I want to know is about Aisha and Kyra. You mighty quick to point the finger. What about that rice eating bitch Charli Li? Isn't she pregnant because you fucked her? Instead of worrying about my fuckin' womb you need to make sure that baby she carrying don't come out twisted up. Only God knows what that rotten pussy bitch has. Didn't I tell you what I would do if I caught you cheating? But you thought that I was bluffing! I thought you knew me better than that, Trae. I told you what I would do!” I yelled. I couldn't help but let the tears flow. He made me so sick, and the sad part was, in spite of everything, I still loved him.

I wiped my tears away, “Look, I ain't tryna go through this shit with you right now. I'm trying to find out what's up with Kyra and my niece. Then I will set you free to fuck all the egg roll hos you want. I will even send you your fuckin' divorce papers. Just sign them muthafuckas as soon as they come and let's go our separate ways.”

I was talking mad shit and spoke more bravely than I felt. With Kaylin sitting over there, somehow I felt safe. I saw Trae's nostrils flare up and I knew that he was beyond furious.

“Are you finished? You need to go ahead with all that drama bullshit. Sign the papers huh? Why? So that you can be with that nigga, have his baby and think that y'all just gonna live happily ever after with my sons as the step-brothers? Where you think you and that nigga gonna rest at but in a grave? Nah, I ain't going out like that. I don't give a fuck how you try to justify that bullshit you pulled fucking close to home. Tasha, I suggest that you stop while you're ahead. Kay, talk some sense into her, if you can.”

He turned around, gave Kaylin some dap, and left. All I could do was cry.

Shit had definitely turned ugly. I actually felt defeated. Usually I would be the voice of reason. Everybody would listen and then everything would go back to normal. There was no chance in hell that was going to be the case … not this time. In order to reason you have to talk. I couldn't even visualize Trae and Kyron talking. And him and Tasha were verbally fighting.