Latin American Folktales (25 page)
75. The Price of Heaven and the Rain of Caramels
I.
This was a man who hated to work and spent all his time going to wakes. One day he traveled to a village some distance from the city and came to a house where a corpse was laid out. Not one to miss a wake, he went in and sat down.
The dead woman’s relatives were people of simple faith. He heard them asking, “How much is it?” It was the husband who wanted know. He was saying, “How much would it be for my wife? What does it cost for her to get to heaven?” And one of the relatives, who was also a man of honest faith, was saying, “I think a hundred pesos would be about right.” Then the husband put a hundred pesos in the coffin, and when morning came they carried it out for burial.
None of this was lost on the visitor. The next night he went to the burial ground, dug up the coffin and with it the hundred pesos. He took the coffin back to the house of the bereaved family and propped it against the door.
The next morning one of the sons opened the door. The body fell on top of him, and he called out, “Look at this! Mother’s come back. That hundred pesos we gave her wasn’t enough. We’d better give her another hundred.”
The next night the man from the city went to the burial ground again, took the extra hundred for himself, and brought the body back to the house. So they buried it again, with still another hundred. The day after that, there was the body at the door again. The husband looked out and saw the man from the city who had been at the wake, and he called him over. He said, “You know about these things. Tell me how much my wife needs to get to heaven.” The man said, “Five hundred pesos.”
“Bless my soul!” The husband turned to his sons and said, “We need another two hundred.”
Then he whispered to the man from the city, “I’m going to let you take care of this. Take the two hundred and bury my wife so she’ll be in paradise.” The man from the city buried the woman’s body for the last time and went away with five hundred pesos.
II.
Now, the man from the city went to another village, where he lived for many years. When he finally married he was getting old, and as luck would have it he took a wife who did nothing but scold him.
And one day he was out working in the woods when a team of mules passed by, loaded with packs of money. He ducked out of sight and heard the mule drivers say, “We’d better get rid of this stuff fast.” “Nobody’s looking. Let’s hide it here.” “We’ll come back later when the coast is clear.”
They buried the money, and the old man waited a little. Then he went home to his wife and said, “You know, some mule drivers left a load of money in the woods. We ought to go dig it up.”
“Oh, stop it!” said the wife. “You expect me to believe there’s buried treasure?” Then the minute she was by herself she went to the woods and dug it up. She came back and hid the money in the house, and the old man saw what she was doing but didn’t open his mouth.
Then she said to him, “Hah! The dog needs to go out. Here, take this and tie her up in the yard,” and she handed him a string of sausages. He tied up the dog with the string of sausages.
After that she said, “It’s time to go to school now.” And something I must tell you: this old man had gotten so slow-witted his wife was sending him to school every day. So off he went. He never disobeyed.
As soon as he’d gone, the wife went out and bought bagfuls of caramels, sour balls, and bonbons. That night she got up and sprinkled the patio with the caramels, the sour balls, and the bonbons.
In the morning she said, “Out of bed, you old duffer! Time to sweep the patio.” He picked up the broom, and when he opened the door he called out, “Wife, look what happened last night! It rained caramels, sour balls, and bonbons!”
“Sweep them up!” she ordered.
A few days passed, and the mule drivers returned to the woods for their money. It was gone. They went into the village to investigate, and the first person they came to was the little old man. “Any idea who dug up our money?” “Oh, yes, in fact I saw you bury it and came home and told my wife, and she went back and dug it up.”
The wife came out of the house. “So you dug up our money!” they said. “Your husband just told us.”
“You tell
me
when I could have dug up money!” she said. The old man answered, “I remember! It was just before you sent me off to school.” And the mule drivers looked at each other.
“Oh! And before that you had me tie up the dog with sausage links.”
“When did anybody tie up a dog with sausage links?” they wanted to know.
“I’ll tell you! It was the day it rained caramels, sour balls, and bonbons!”
The mule drivers shrugged their shoulders and went on their way, leaving the old man and his wife as rich as you please.
Mexico
76. Pine Cone the Astrologer
Here’s a story from the days when there were kings and queens.
It seems that the king of a certain city lost a precious ring. He issued a notice that a large sum of money would be paid to any astrologer who could read the stars and tell him where to look. There was a man who heard about this out in the countryside and came to town to offer his services.
The man from the country went by the name of Pine Cone. But he didn’t mention that. He just came up to the king and said, “You lost a ring? You’re looking for an astrologer? I’m the one who can help you.” The king wasn’t sure. In those days astrologers weren’t hired without passing a test.
Now, in the city where all this was happening people rarely saw pineapples. So the king sent an order to the kitchen to have a plate of fruit brought in with a pineapple on it. “Give this to the man over there,” said the king, “and ask him what it is.”
The man lost his nerve for a moment. He slapped his hand on his head and said under his breath, “Pine Cone, Pine Cone! What have you gotten yourself into?”
The king picked up only the first word. He thought he heard “pineapple” and said, “You’re hired. Go on up to the tower room and read the stars.” Pine Cone climbed the stairs to the observatory and started living in style. He had a comfortable bed, and at every meal they brought him savory meats and all he could drink.
Now, Pine Cone had become the king’s astrologer, but his head was not in the clouds. He noticed that the servants who brought him his food were always whispering back and forth. After he had been in the tower a few days his wife came for a visit. She was just what he had been waiting for. The moment he laid eyes on her he said, “Crawl under the bed, and when the servants bring me my lunch, cry, ‘Thief!’ as soon as the first one comes in.”
The first servant entered the room. “Thief!” came an eerie voice from who knows where. The servant looked around. The other servant came in. Again, “Thief!” The two left the room exchanging whispers. Pine Cone said to his wife, “They’re guilty.”
Outside the door the servants were saying, “He’s figured us out. Let’s give him the ring now, before he tells the king.” They came back in, and when they’d confessed, the astrologer said to them, “I’ll keep your secret, but only if you take the ring out to the garden and put it in the peacock’s food dish.” And that’s what they did.
Pine Cone went to the king and said, “Kill the peacock. You’ll find the ring.” And there it was. They brought it in to the king immediately, and the astrologer, naturally, collected the reward. My tale goes only to here; it ends, and the wind carries it off.
Panama
77. The Dragon Slayer
There was a father who had three daughters. And the youngest, you know, was the one who attracted all the men. The other two were tired of being passed over and thought of a way to get rid of her.
“We’ll take some of Father’s money,” said one of them, “and put it in her bed. Then we’ll tell him she’s been stealing.” The other said, “Good, the proof will be right there in the bed, won’t it?”
The next morning when the father went to count his money, it wasn’t all there. He began to cry out loud. His eldest daughter heard him wailing and came running. She said, “Father, your money was stolen by your own daughter. Go look. You’ll find it where she sleeps.”
The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he looked anyway. When he saw the money in his daughter’s bed, he ordered her to meet him at the door. He took hold of her with one hand, and with his machete in the other hand he dragged her toward the woods. She said, “Father, don’t kill me. I’ll go far away and never come back.” She said it over and over until he loosened his grip. At last he said, “Very well. But you must keep your promise.” Then he gave her a few tortillas and sent her on her way.
She wandered for miles, not knowing what she would do. Worn out and hungry, she sat down under a tree and began to eat the tortillas, you see, when an old woman dressed in rags came up to her and said, “Greetings, dear girl. Could you let me have just one of your tortillas? I haven’t eaten in two days.”
The girl said, “Dear mother, please help yourself. It hurts me that I don’t have more to give you. My father ran me out of the house and made me promise never to come back. Here I am, the poorest of the poor. I don’t know what I will do.”
Now, you must know that this old woman was the Blessed Virgin Mary. When she had listened to the girl’s story, she said, “My dear, don’t you need work?” The girl said, “I need to find work right away, or I’ll die of hunger.”
“Here’s what you must do. Farther on down the road you’ll come to the kingdom of Quiquiriquí. The king there is very powerful, and I’m sure you’ll find work in his palace. Take along this little wand, and whenever you need to know anything, just speak to it and say, ‘O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me such-and-such.’ Before you know it you’ll have the answer.”
The girl thanked the old woman and went on her way, and when she came to a place where the road branched into three roads she took out the wand and said, “O mighty little wand, by all the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, what lies down the road to the right?” It answered, “The road to the right is not for you. It leads to the dragon with seven heads, and each of the heads loves human flesh.”
She asked again, “O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, what lies down the road to the left?” And it answered, “The road to the left is not for you. It leads to the castle of the giant Bolumbí, who loves human flesh.”
She asked once more, “O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, what lies down the middle road?” The wand said, “The middle road is the road for you. It will take you to the kingdom of Quiquiriquí, where the king has the power to help you.”
She took the middle road and walked on until she came to the king’s palace. She went up to the door and asked the captain of the guard, “Is there any work here?” The captain said, “I don’t know,” but he led her into the palace, and when she got to the king, he said, “There’s work in the kitchen. Go there. You’ll find it.”
Now, this king had become gloomy. Day after day he grew quieter, you see, until he was almost saying nothing. Then the girl in the kitchen remembered her wand, and she picked it up and said, “O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, why is the king so gloomy?”
The wand answered, “As you know, not far from this kingdom is a dragon with seven heads. The dragon has told the king that he must send his son, the prince, to be eaten. Otherwise the dragon will come to the kingdom and start eating everybody. The prince must be sent off tomorrow at the latest.”
“How could the dragon be killed?” asked the girl. “Very easily,” answered the wand. “It takes a nap every day at twelve. Go there tomorrow and bring me with you. Use me to strike the dragon on its tail while it sleeps. It will never wake up.”
The king, you know, had issued a proclamation that whoever could kill the dragon would be granted any wish. So the girl went off to the dragon’s den and gave it a strong slap on the tail with the little wand. When it was dead, she cut out the tongues from its seven heads and went back to the palace.
As soon as she had left the dragon’s den, a vassal of the king came along, saw the dead dragon, and said, “My luck is with me. I’ll prove to the king that I killed the dragon and ask to marry his daughter, the princess.”
The vassal rode back to the palace and went straight to the king. He said, “Majesty, I have killed the dragon. As proof, here are its seven heads. My wish is to marry the princess.”
But at that moment the girl who had killed the dragon was arriving with the seven tongues. “This man is a liar,” she said, and when she produced the tongues, the king believed her and sent the vassal to be shot by a firing squad.
Then the girl said, “Majesty, my wish is to marry your son, the prince.” But now the king had second thoughts. He said, “I can’t marry my son to a kitchen maid.” She answered quickly, “Kings don’t go back on their word.”
He said, “You’re right. The wedding will be held tomorrow evening.” Nevertheless the girl was worried: she had nothing to wear. Then again she remembered the little wand, and when she took it out and spoke to it, it answered her, “Tonight before you sleep ask the Blessed Virgin to help you.”
The miracle happened, and in the morning when she woke up, there was a dress of gold next to her bed. She wore it that evening, the prince fell in love with her, and the king could hardly believe that this was his kitchen maid.
The prince and his new princess lived happily. But you must know that the king had fallen in love with his son’s bride. His only thought now was to get rid of the prince, so that he himself could enjoy the princess, and again he became gloomy. The princess consulted her wand: “O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, why is the king so gloomy?”
The wand answered, “The king desires you and wants you for himself. He will declare a war, and as soon as his son, the prince, has gone off to battle, the king and his henchmen will follow and secretly kill him.”
The princess asked, “How can this be prevented?” And the wand replied, “You must go to the giant Bolumbí and get the little ring that he wears on his tooth. When you have the ring, you can say, ‘Little ring, change this into that.’ Now, go to the giant exactly at twelve, when he takes his nap.”
The princess set off for the giant’s castle and arrived at twelve. She went in quietly. When she saw the snoring giant, with his mouth open, she slipped the ring off his tooth and ran back to her own palace.
The next morning the prince set off for war. Then the princess took out her wand and said, “O mighty little wand, by the might that Heaven gave you, tell me, where is the king now?” The wand replied, “The king is right behind the prince and about to kill him.”
Quickly the princess reached for the ring and said, “Little ring, change the king into a wild pig.” As it was ordered, so it was done. The prince saw the pig and shot it. And a fat one it was. When he and his companions had roasted it, they found it quite tasty. Then they went on and won the war and returned to the palace as safe as safe could be.
The prince and the princess lived happily for many years. They were always inviting me, and
Ruddy ruddy red,
My story is said.
Mexico