Razing Ryker (Dissonance Book 1) (5 page)

He hadn’t done it. He’d done everything he could, most of which he regretted and hated himself for, and he still hadn’t been able to save his show.

John wanted to be angry with Eve for fucking them over and leaving them in a lurch, but if he was the talented director he was supposed to be it shouldn’t have mattered. He should have found a better leading lady to replace her and made the show work without her. He should have replaced Cameron and his sour, mournful face that refused to find a connection to Anna, no matter how hard she tried.

But he’d been drinking too much, sleeping too long and at the wrong hours, and there was nothing he could do to pull the show from the nosedive it was taking.

And now Jace fucking Ryker was poaching his people.

“John?”

Anna stood in the doorway of the dark studio, hesitating at the threshold.

He sighed, not bothering to turn around. Instead he looked out at the dark street below him and wondered why he was there? Why did he continue to come here day after day as though they’d show up and the show would miraculously go on? But now here was Anna and he worried for a second that he was imagining her.

“What?” he barked.

“Are you alright?”

“Perfect. Rehearsal has been cancelled. Didn’t you get the memo?”

“I did.” He heard her take a step inside. Two. Three. “Did you?”

He laughed darkly. “Every last one of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we were shut down before we were shut down.”

Four steps. Five. Six. She was close. “How many times?”

“Three,” he croaked, gagging on the word. On the memories of every time.

“How did we keep going?”

“Because I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t let it go.”

“I don’t underst—“

He turned to her abruptly, his face pinched and angry, hiding all the ways he’d sold out to save them. All of the ways he hadn’t been enough. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you,” she answered gently. “I came to see if you were okay.”

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

“Because I know you can’t give up.” Seven. “I know you can’t let it go.”

He stared at her young, hopeful face and he hurt inside. She was killing him and he wished she’d go, but some sick part of him wanted her to stay. He wanted to look at her beautiful fresh face and drink it in, let it fill him and push out the ugly and the old that he’d been living with. He wanted her hope to be his, to take it from her and call it his own, but he didn’t like the idea of what that would do to her. He didn’t like the idea of what that would make him, so he stepped past her and headed for the door.

“I’ll get you a cab,” he told her. He held the door open for her, his eyes cast to the ground.

She walked through the studio toward him; seven, six, five, four, three, two…

“Is it over?” she whispered, her small body only a step away from him. “Are we giving up? After everything we’ve done, we’re just quitting?”

He looked up at her and shook his head. “It’s over.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

He scowled at her. “It’s not a debate, sweetheart. It’s a fact.”

“Let’s start over,” she insisted. “Let’s find a new theater off Broadway and start again. We’ll work out the kinks and we’ll come back. The show is good, you know that. It just needs a little help.”

“It’s not that easy. Meredith is done with it. She’s buried us, she’ll never resurrect it.”

“Fuck Meredith,” Anna shot back angrily.

John was taken aback. Anna was such a sweet, soft spoken girl. He’d never even heard her swear. But now she stared him down with anger in her eyes and venom on her tongue, and he couldn’t believe the transformation he was seeing. Where was this passion when she was on the stage?

“We’ll do it small,” she continued. “We’ll do it cheap. It’ll be ugly at first but it won’t matter. The content is what matters. Once it’s strong again we’ll give it another shot. Meredith can be done with it all she wants for now but if it’s a money maker she won’t be able to walk away. That woman loves money.”

“That she does,” John agreed slowly.

“Then we’ll do it,” Anna insisted. She wasn’t asking. “We’ll revive it.”

John grinned faintly, the idea forming in his mind and breathing life into his blood. It could be possible. It would be ugly, yes, but only at first. Only to start, but once it was back on its feet it could be beautiful. It could be perfect.

“People do love revivals,” he mused.

The next morning Cameron was at Greer’s door before she’d even eaten her breakfast.

“You were right,” he informed her, stepping past her into the apartment. “Dude is intense. He didn’t say a single word while I was there.”

“Seriously?” She shut the door and followed him into the kitchen where he was grabbing a water from the fridge. “He said nothing? The entire time?”

“Nothing. His assistant talked to me, the piano player was a nice guy, the agent was a bitch, but J—“ he paused, looking around the room. “Is anyone else here?”

“No, we’re good. The girls are at a class.”

“Yeah, so Jace said nothing. Didn’t even introduce himself. His phone kept vibrating and he silenced it every time, but it was distracting as hell.”

“How did your audition go, though? What’d they ask you to do?”

“Not much. They said they’d seen my performance last night and pretty much already knew they wanted me. There are only going to be two men in the show and I’m one of them if I want it.”

“Oh my God, that’s amazing!” She jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Yeah, it’s good. It’s work.”

Greer pulled back, frowning. “So why aren’t you shitting yourself right now?”

“Because it’s only one night.”

“What?”

“It’s a one time performance. Some super-secret concert he’s putting on soon. I had to verify that I’m free for the next three weeks. They’ll pay during rehearsals and for the show, but then I’m jobless again. I might be better off searching for something more permanent than wasting my time on a gig I know won’t last.”

“But this is huge! This is Jace Ryker. He’s a rock star. The performance could be televised and who knows who might see it.”

“I know, but he’s in trouble. This might be some kind of Hail Mary he’s throwing and I don’t know how smart it is to be part of it. It could backfire on him and on me. Everyone involved might end up being a joke. I can’t put a failure on my audition tape and then I burned almost a month on nothing.”

“So you’re not going to do it?” she asked, her heart deflating. She’d had such high hopes for this. She hadn’t been able to sleep all night thinking about it. Thinking about Jace and his eyes and his smirk, but most of all she thought about his almost smile. The close call that had almost made his face look happy for just a split second. But then he was gone.

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. I’m gonna wait and see how your audition goes. If you decide to do it, I’ll go with you.”

“You can’t make this decision based on me.”

Cameron snorted. “Watch me.”

“Cam,” she protested.

He shook his head, swallowing a gulp of water. “It’s us or nothing, Greer. I’ll go if you go. Done deal.”

“If they offer it to me, I’m taking it,” she warned.

“Looks like we’re performing with Jace Ryker, then.”

***

Two hours later, after Cameron had left the apartment because her nervous energy was ‘giving him ulcers’, Greer headed to her audition. The small studio it was taking place in was dark and deserted, a sure sign that Jace’s people had rented the entire thing out for the day to keep their little secret.

“Greer Weston?” a tall, well-dressed man asked her as she entered. He had warm, dark eyes to match his dark skin, but when he smiled she saw two rows of perfect gleaming white teeth. His haircut was precision with tight lines and an even buzz. Everything about him spoke to Greer and what it was saying was
money
. She was surrounded by it, she knew that, and even though she couldn’t see it, she could see its affects everywhere. In the emptied out building, in the manicured man in front of her, in the heavy smell of different colognes in the hallway.

“Yes, I’m Greer,” she answered, quickly shaking his offered hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, hon. I’m Grant, Jace’s assistant. Come on inside.”

She followed him to the end of the hall and found a small room with a piano in the corner and a table set up in front of the window. Pretty standard for an audition and a part of her started to relax into the familiarity. Then she scanned the table and realized Jace wasn’t there. He’d been at Cameron’s audition. Did that mean something? Had they already made their decisions and they were having her audition anyway to be kind?

“We’ve got David on the piano over there,” Grant told her, pointing to a freckle faced guy waving at with a grin. “And Sarah, Ryker’s agent.” A raven haired woman in a silk scarf over a stark white shirt and pencil skirt waved to her with disinterest. Grant took his seat beside her, leaving one conspicuously empty at the end. He noticed her glance at the seat and smiled apologetically. “Jace is on an important phone call. He assured me he had seen enough of your performance last night to make his decision. This is for myself and Sarah.”

“Oh, alright.”

“Have you prepared a song for us?”

“Yes.”

“Can you give the music to David, please?”

“Of course.”

Greer brought the sheet music to David and grinned nervously at him. He took the sheets without looking at her, immediately placing his fingers on the keys and waiting for his signal to begin. She swallowed her nerves and took the center of the room, reminding herself to breathe. She could do this. She’d already done it. She’d auditioned for
Rendezvous
and gotten the part. Jace had already heard her sing and she assumed that because she was here at all that he liked what he heard. Did his agent and assistant have that much say over what he wanted? She had no idea.

She nodded to David and he began to play her selection. It was
Chandelier
by Sia. It showcased her ability to sing deeply while also reaching high heights. She closed her eyes and put her heart and soul into the song, letting the lyrics settle into her the way she always did. Letting them resonate in her body and express the feelings she never said out loud. That feeling of falling away from herself. Of shame. Of desperation and a rudderless wandering that came of never having a true home.

When she was finished, when David had played the final note, she opened her eyes and breathed heavily from the exertion. She scanned the faces in the room and found nothing at all from Sarah, but David and Grant were smiling broadly.

“Powerful,” David told Grant.

“No shit,” he agreed, not taking his eyes off Greer. “Did you audition for the lead with
Rendezvous
?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, shrugging. “I didn’t fit the part.”

Grant laughed. “Who does? It’s compiled of about six women, isn’t it? Different women throughout history?”

“Seven.”

“Voice like yours, you should have been a lock.”

“I was up against Eve Sanders. I didn’t have a prayer.”

“And when she left the show? You didn’t take her place? I saw the girl who was Eve’s understudy – Anna – and she doesn’t have your presence. How did she get that slot and not you?”

Greer shifted, glancing at the empty chair again. “The lead and I… he and I are friends. It was awkward when we did the love scenes. It never clicked.”

“We saw him earlier today, didn’t we?” Grant asked, lifting the papers off his clipboard to find Cameron’s information. “He was good. Wasn’t he Sarah?”

“He was hot,” she replied, sounding bored.

“Any opinions on Greer?”

Sarah looked her up and down before picking up her phone. “She’s pretty. She’ll look good on camera.”

“She can dance too,” he told her, sounding a little annoyed. “And sing, in case you missed it.”

“Cool.”

Grant shook his head before turning back to Greer with a grin. “Thanks for coming, hon. We’ve got a couple more auditions today and we’ll be calling people tonight.” He rose from his chair, coming around to shake her hand. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I can find my way.” She smiled and waved to David and Sarah. “Bye. Thank you so much for the opportunity.”

They waved back and Grant showed her to the door. When he closed it behind her she walked quickly to the end of the hall and stopped to take several deep breaths and calm her racing heart, resting her head against the cold window. She was looking down into the street below. Into an ally, probably somebody’s home.

She’d lived in worse.

“How’d it go?”

Greer’s head snapped up, her eyes falling on Jace Ryker standing just three feet away. Her heart resumed its race in her chest from surprise, then from something else entirely. Her gears shifted instantly and her body responded to the sight of him. To the elicit memory she had no right possessing. The intimate moment they’d shared that he could never know about. One she felt shame over when looking into his eyes in real life, as though she’d taken something from him. Something he’d never meant to give her.

“Hi,” she mumbled, her lips feeling oddly numb and foolish.

That smirk. It changed his face entirely. He wasn’t as brooding and dark as he’d been last night. In the light of the sun pouring in from the window he looked light. Almost happy. “Hi,” he replied, his voice deep and raspy, hinting at the way he sang and making her stomach fly with butterflies. “How’d your audition go?” he repeated.

She shrugged, sighing to hide the cleansing breath she needed to take. The one that drug his scent into her mouth and made it water. “I don’t know really. Good, I think.”

“Let me guess – Sarah was a bitch?”

“I wouldn’t call her a bitch.”

“Because you don’t want to offend me?”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t sweat it. She is and she knows it. Was Grant nice to you?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then you’re good. If you sucked he would have been dismissive. He doesn’t waste his time or mine. If he said more than four words to you, you’re golden.”

“Those four words being ‘Thanks for coming in’?”

“Those are the ones.” He leaned against the wall, settling in and looking comfortable. It was a sharp contrast to how she felt. Her heart was still hammering in her chest and every time the thought crossed her mind that she was looking at Jace Ryker, it sent her pulse wild. She was legitimately afraid she’d faint like an idiot. “You’ve done a lot of auditions?”

“A few. Not a lot. But I know what a brush off sounds like.”

“Well you won’t be getting one today. This was completely for their sake. I already know I want you in the show.”

“Really?”

“I liked what I saw last night.” That ghost of a grin crossed his lips. “And heard.”

“Well, I think my song selection was more impactful today than last night.”

“What’d you choose?”

“
Chandelier
.”

“Ballsy. I like it. Can I ask you a question, though?”

“Of course.”

“Why didn’t you choose one of my songs to sing? Everyone else so far has.”

She grinned. “You’re not in my wheelhouse.”

The ghost gained strength. “Is that the only reason?”

“I don’t know. I thought about it, but it seemed tacky. I guess I assumed everyone else would do exactly the same thing and I wanted to stand out.”

His eyes grazed her body from her hair to her shoes. She was dressed to dance, assuming they’d want to see her moves at some point during the audition but it’d been surprisingly short. Her tight yoga capris and high heeled dance shoes had been a waste up until now. Up until Jace Ryker gave her a once over that left her feeling stripped and bare. “You certainly do that. I’m sorry I missed your performance.”

“Maybe I’ll get the chance to give you an encore,” she replied, the words feeling far more suggestive than she intended.

“Believe me,” he said, lifting himself off the wall and stepping closer to her. “I would like nothing more.” He offered her his hand and she took it, reveling in the fact that it was the second time in twenty four hours that she’d touched him. “Grant has your number?”

“It’s on my headshot.”

Jace watched her for a weird moment. His eyes were slightly unfocused and his gaze shifted over her shoulder instead of on her face. Suddenly he snapped back to focus, the intensity of his stare almost making her startle. He pulled a flat black phone from his pocket and swiped his finger across the screen. “Why don’t you give it to me? Just in case. I can text you with any questions we might run into.”

Greer began to sweat with embarrassment. “Uh, I don’t have a cell phone. I can give you my home phone number, though. I’ll be sure to be at home and available today.”

“You don’t have a cell phone?” he repeated, looking at her in confusion as though she’d told him she didn’t have a toilet in her house.

“No. I never have.”

“Religious reasons?”

She chuckled nervously. “More like financial,” she admitted, figuring why lie?

“Okay,” he replied evenly, looking back to his phone. “Give me the house number.”

She rattled it off and watched his long fingers deftly type it into his phone. He named her contact as simply ‘Greer’, her name falling in line directly beneath Grant. And just like that, she was in Jace Ryker’s contact list. It blew her fucking mind.