Reckless Abandon (5 page)

Past

Nicole

“Please, just come out.  I’m sure Mason would go.” Roxy shook my arm like a rag doll as she begged me with puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t know, Rox.” I stood to pace the room.

“What don’t you know about?” Roxy pushed off my bed, and walked over to me with worried eyes.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to face the real world. Mine has been so fucked lately, that I don’t know which end is up.” I pulled away from her and combed my fingers through my hair.

“Babe, this is your head, a.k.a. up…” she gently placed her palm on my forehead, “and this would be your rockin’ ass, a.k.a down.” She reached around me and slapped my backside, resulting in a laugh. A simple laugh, who knew how good that would feel?

“Thank you for setting me straight. I thought I lost my way.” I swatted her away from me.

“What was that?” Roxy cocked her head to the side.

“What was what?” My eyebrows furrowed.

“Did you just make a joke? Oh thank you, baby Jesus, she’s coming back to me!” Roxy threw herself at me.

“Rox!” I giggled as we tumbled back onto my bed. After our laughter subsided, Roxy and I looked at each other while catching our breath.

“Okay, I’ll go. I’ll text Mason and let him know.”

“Good, I’m glad. I’ll see you in an hour.” Roxy kissed my cheek and left me to get ready for my first night out since the series of events that have wrecked my life. And by series I mean- my father killing my mother for finding out I wasn’t his biological daughter, me becoming an addict, putting myself through hell and OD’ing. Just a few things, that’s all. I grabbed my phone and texted Mason.

Me: Hey

Mason: Hey, what’s up?

Me: Bonfire tonight at 9?

Mason: Sure babe, the lake?

Me: Yeah, Rox and I will meet you there

Mason: K, see you then

I tossed my cell on the bed as I grabbed my bath towel. Mason was alright. He played sports, football, I think. Maybe I should have paid better attention when we went on our first date the other night. Oops.

I dressed in a simple loose gray tee, black leggings and my favorite flats. I didn’t do anything special with my hair other than blow-dry it. My makeup was just bronzer and liquid eyeliner to do my infamous cat-eye look, and a muted pink lip-gloss. Believe me, this was the most I have done with myself in a long ass time. It felt good to feel like a girl again. I spritzed on my favorite perfume, gave myself the once-over and headed over to Roxy’s place.

I stood on the porch of the Moretti’s home. I
shot a
texted Roxy to let her know I was out front. The rule was: if you were going out for fun, don’t ring the doorbell. You didn’t have to deal with getting hounded by all the males. Just as I hit send on the message, the front door swung open.

“That was fast-” my sentence was cut off as I looked up and saw who it was. Jeremy, not Roxy. There he stood in his riding boots, black semi-baggy jeans and a fitted white tee under a black zip-up hoodie.  Jeremy held onto the doorknob with a scowl on his face. My hair gusted over my shoulders with the breeze from the front door.

“Where are you two headed?” Jeremy fished out his lighter from his front right pocket of his jeans. He plucked the cigarette that was tucked behind his ear, and put it to his lips as he stepped outside. I went to step backwards as he invaded my personal space, but Jeremy’s free hand enclosed around my wrist.

“Out.” I was irritated; he knew this was my first time out since everything happened. Why the hell did he have to treat me like a fucking child?

“Out, where?” The red ember glowed as he inhaled his first drag. The smoke clouded around us.

“And you care?”

“Fuck yes, anything that concerns my sister, then yes- it’s my business to know.”

“Okay, papa bear.” I over exaggerated my eye roll.

“Roll them eyes again, and they’re going to get stuck in the back of your head, little girl.” Jeremy’s deep voice vibrated off my chest.

“Last time I checked, Roxy already has a father to look after her.” I crossed my arms.

“What about you?” Jeremy tipped his chin towards me.

“What do you mean, ‘what about me’?”

“Who’s watching out for you?”

“Myself.” I was getting defensive, and he knew it.

“Wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“You have your MC. Moretti, Rox, Chase…me.”

“You, huh?” My eyebrow cocked up in surprise.

“Yeah, feels like I’m a little responsible for you now that I’ve brought you back to life.” His thick eyebrows wiggled.

“Ugh, spare me, Jer. Don’t think you can hold that over my head my entire life.”

“Spare you? You’re so damn ungrateful sometimes, Nic.”Jeremy threw his cigarette butt down between us, causing me to jump back so it didn’t land on the top of my foot.

“Watch it!” I yelled at him as my phone chirped with a text message. His eyes shot down to my phone.

“Who’s that?”

“Mason.” I swear Jeremy’s eyes went dark right in front of me.

“That pussy,” he growled. Yes, literally growled at me.

“Do you have to refer to any guy I date as a pussy? I don’t date pussies, makes me sounds like a lesbian, and to be quite honest, I’m strictly dickly. You need to broaden your vocabulary, biker boy.” I played with the hem of my t-shirt. Jeremy’s eyes quickly glanced at my hands and back up to my face with a knowing smirk. Playing with the edges of soft fabrics was a self-soothing thing I did and he knew it.

Jeremy let out a deep belly chuckle; it was rare that I heard that laugh, but when I did, it did things to my insides- good things.

“What?” I dropped my hands as he took a step closer to me, our chests touching. The heat of his body permeated me as the thin fabric between us almost seemed nonexistent.

“I just find it funny, you referring to dick, when you haven’t even had any.”

“Fuck you!”

“Well, let’s go then.” Jeremy’s arms gripped my hips, slamming mine into his. My hands shot out to his arms as I nearly stumbled forward into him. I acted like I didn’t feel the bulge in his jeans that was currently pressing into my hip.

“You’re impossible.”

“You love it.”

“Jer-” My voice faded as he leaned his face down to mine. He knew exactly what he was doing, and the effect that he had on me. I closed my eyes as I felt his warm breath on my face. His nose nuzzled my neck, my ear, then my cheek. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath, until Jeremy told me to breath.

The deep breath I inhaled through my nostrils filled with the scent of his cigarette, leather, and cologne.

“You smell good enough to eat,” Jeremy muttered. His eyebrows cocked up and inward.

“Well, if Mason plays his cards right, he’ll get to find out.” I was lying through my teeth. Jeremy’s grip on my hips and ass grounded deeper. Was that a nerve I hit?

“He fuckin’ touches you, he’s dead.” He roughly cupped my face.

“I am dating him, Jer. That kind of gives him the right to, wouldn’t it?” My eyes searched his. ‘Then you fucking claim me, you bastard!’ was what I wanted to shout in his face.

We could hear Roxy inside the house, running down the staircase, shouting back to their father that she was heading out. Jeremy quickly darted his tongue over my bottom lip, his lips covered mine. Just as I was about to further the kiss, the front door flung open.

“Uhh…” Roxy stood there like a deer in headlights.

“I was just telling Nic to call if you girls need anything.”

“I’m sure you were. Were you also trying to give her CPR, standing up? You creeper, step away from my friend.” Roxy grabbed my hand and hurriedly took us to my car.

Once we arrived at the bonfire, I was sure to avoid the subject with Roxy about Jeremy and what happened on the porch. Hell, I wasn’t even sure what the fuck happened. Mason was already sitting by the bonfire that sat along the edge of the lake. Lake Pend Oreille was a big hangout spot for high school students. Spotting Roxy and I, Mason stood up to greet us, giving me a quick hug. I could already smell the beer on his breath. This was going to be a fun night.

After an hour and a couple beers down, everyone was relaxed and having a good time. The buddies that Mason was hanging with for the night seemed to not know their limit. Silly boys, they don’t even know what “getting messed up” really is. Roxy and I talked about graduation and what would happen next. I know she’s excited to go to college but I also know it’s a sore point for her to be leaving Chase, Jeremy’s best friend.

“Hey babe,” Mason cut into our conversation.

“Yeah?” I sounded faintly annoyed by his drunken slur.

“Let’s take a walk down by the water.”

“Sure.” I looked over at Roxy, and nodded. She took my empty beer bottle and nudged me up off my seat.

We headed down to where the water was lapping at the pebbly beach. Mason was an attractive guy. He stood about 6’0” with shaggy brown hair and hazel eyes. He has a leaner built compared to Jeremy and Chase. I’m always comparing guys to Jeremy, that fucker. Mason had strong features and sweet personality.

“You having fun?” he asked me as he laced our hands together while walking side by side.

“Sure.”

“Sure? That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.” Jeremy.

“Oh yeah? Am I on there?” Mason came to a halt and turned me to face him.

“Maybe.” I didn’t want to let him down, but he definitely caught wind.

“Maybe, huh? Maybe I can change that to, ‘you’re all I’m thinking about, Mason’.” He bit his lower lip, something that probably should have stirred up some butterflies but my crotch felt zero zing.

“Mason?” I was about to ask him if he wanted to head back, but he cut me off when he dipped his head down to kiss me. Half on and half off my mouth- I wasn’t really feeling it. I slowly pulled back, licking my bottom lip. Mason misread my action as me wanting more. He cupped my face and re-connected our mouths. Before I could protest, he licked my lips. I put my palms on his shoulders and pushed.

“Mason, I’m sorry, I can’t-“

“Yes, you can. You taste so fucking good, Nicole.” One of his hands slipped up under my shirt and over my bra cup.

“I said no!” I was getting pissed.

“That’s not what your body is saying.” His thumb flicked my nipple, and his hips pushed into mine. His arousal was obvious and unwanted.

“Yeah, ‘cause it’s fucking cold out here, you fucking asshole.” I ripped his arm out from under my shirt, and started walking away from him.

“Nicole!” Mason ran after me.

“Fuck you, Mason.”

“Fuck me? Fuck you!” He grabbed my upper arm. I pulled away from him, causing the thin fabric of my shirt to rip. I shrieked as I stumbled backwards, tripping over a large stone. Mason took advantage of my position, forcing himself between my legs.

“Get off me!” I screamed out, praying someone could hear me. Kissing me roughly, Mason dug his fingertips into my hips as he went to pull down my leggings.

“Get the fuck off of her!” I heard Roxy’s voice swiftly approaching us. Mason shot his head upward, and I took advantage by winding back and punching him right on the bridge of his nose. I cried out in pain as he rolled to my side and cupped his face. Roxy kicked him right in the ribs.

“You fucker!” she yelled at him as he rolled onto his back groaning in pain.

“You fucking bitch!” he spat out. Roxy grabbed my uninjured hand and pulled me off the beach.

“Let’s just get the fuck out of here.” My adrenaline was wearing off, my hand throbbed and the tears flowed. I shouldn’t have been upset but fuck it- I was. Roxy walked us back to the fire, calling someone along the way. Minutes later a bike was rumbling down to the waterfront.

“You called your bother?!” I groaned as I took the hem of my shirt and wiped under each eye.

“No one fucks with us and gets away with that shit, Nicole. Plus, who else was I going to call?”

Well, not only Jeremy rolled up, but both of our knights on their shiny armor arrived. Chase and Jeremy both kicked their stands out and quickly walked to us.  Jeremy’s eyes scanned my face as he took off his riding gloves. His eyes stopped at my shoulder, where my shirt was torn and my bra strap was hanging on by a thread. I held my aching hand as I lowered my gaze in embarrassment.

 “The party is over, everyone go home!” Jeremy yelled, and everyone was out like a bat out of hell.  Mason started to make his way past Jeremy, but Jeremy splayed his fingers on Mason’s chest to stop him. A smile crossed Jeremy’s face as he put two and two together, my injured hand with Mason’s bloody nose. Moving me behind him, Jeremy slowly walked back to Mason.

“You’re mine, you mother fucker.” Jeremy shoved Mason backwards.

“What the fuck?” Mason yelled out, going chest to chest with Jeremy. Roxy and I backed up to boys’
bikes;
the warmth of the fire had long left me.