Reunited with the Cowboy (14 page)

The older man held his gaze for a long, meaningful moment, then his eyes shifted to Heather. “I think you're right. And I'm guessing that there might be other changes happening here?”

John felt a flush creep up his neck. Given the warning Monty had given him when Heather first arrived, he sensed her dad's reluctance had eased off.

John had hoped to talk to Monty privately, but at the same time he felt as if events were coming to a head. He looked over at Heather, thinking about her comment about accepting the job in Saddlebank. “We're taking it one step at a time,” he said. “But I think we're moving in a good direction, Heather and I.”

Monty nodded slowly. “That's good.”

“This is so cool,” Keira said, giving her sister an exuberant hug. “I'm so glad. After all Mitch put you through. All the pain and—” She stopped suddenly, clapping her hand over her mouth, her gaze shooting to John, then back to her sister. “I'm sorry,” she said to Heather. “I wasn't thinking.”

John frowned, wondering why Keira seemed so upset. It was no secret that Mitch had put Heather through a lot.

But when he caught Heather's horrified look at her sister and the quick shake of her head, his apprehension grew.

“Heather? What's going on?” he asked.

She gazed at him, eyes wide. He was about to ask her to talk to him outside when a knock on the back door interrupted the moment. The door opened and a voice called out, “Anybody home?”

It was Mrs. Panko, come to take Adana.

Talk about terrible timing.

Chapter Thirteen

H
eather stared at John, her thoughts a jumble. She saw the question in his eyes, a question she didn't know if she was ready to answer. Half-formed thoughts spun through her mind as she tried to choose which one to formulate.

You have to tell him.

That's what Keira had said, and as Heather looked away from John, she caught her mother and father watching her with the same puzzlement.

But then Mrs. Panko stepped into the kitchen, the phone rang and Heather was given a momentary reprieve in the sudden influx of activity.

With shaking hands she picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Can I talk to Heather, please,” a male voice on the other end of the line said.

“This is Heather,” she said, walking into the living room where it was quieter.

“It's Alan at the garage. Your car is ready to be picked up.”

“Can you tell me what the bill is?”

“Hold on, let me check.”

She clutched the phone, her heart beating wildly in her chest while she waited.

You have to tell him.

She knew that, but she wasn't ready to face John's reaction. Not when so many things were going on. He had just found out he would be a partner in the ranch. His life was finding a solid, steady place.

Herself?

She knew she wanted to stay in Saddlebank. She knew she wanted to be with John. She just didn't know what he would think if she told him everything.

“It comes to about twelve hundred dollars,” the mechanic was saying.

That was less than half of what she had expected. “That's great. Can I pay you when I pick it up?”

“Has to be today by two o'clock. I'm closed after that and tomorrow.”

“Okay. Thanks.” She ended the call, feeling surprisingly carefree as she walked back to the dining room. Twelve hundred dollars was a lot, but that amount was manageable. Could things be truly changing for the better for her?

“That was the mechanic,” she said, sitting down in her chair, giving John a quick smile. “My car is ready. I'm going to need a ride into town so I can pick it up before two.”

“I can take you.”

Mrs. Panko's unexpected statement startled Heather. She glanced over at her, puzzled as to why she would offer.

“I'm just here to pick up Adana,” Kim said, jiggling her granddaughter on her lap. “I'm leaving right away. It seems a shame to take everyone else away from their work.”

“It would save us the trip there and back,” Monty said. “Besides, I want to go over a few things with you, John.”

Heather felt a tiny bit of disappointment that John couldn't take her, but at the same time the option made sense.

“Okay. I guess that would work,” she said. She wasn't too keen on spending half an hour in the car with Mrs. Panko, but it was the most practical solution.

“So, did you pack a bag for Adana?” Kim asked John.

“I'll get it,” Heather answered, as she got up. She was glad for the few moments alone.

She found Adana's suitcase and picked it up. Just as she was about to leave, the door opened. She stopped when she saw John.

“I had to get some of my bank statements,” he was saying. “It's for the partnership agreement.”

“Of course.” She smiled at him, her heart battering against her ribs. “Congratulations. I'm so glad that Dad agreed to take you on as a partner.”

“It changes everything.” John took a step closer. “It means I'm able to plan better for the future.”

“That's good.”

John remained silent, and Heather felt as if something had suddenly shifted. Not for the better.

“What did Keira mean?” he finally asked, his quiet question increasing the pounding in Heather's chest. “What was she referring to when she talked about all the pain Mitch put you through?”

“I can't talk right now. Mrs. Panko is waiting and I just...I don't think...”

“There's something else going on. Something about Mitch that you're not telling me.”

Heather looked at John but couldn't speak.

“If this is going to work between us, you have to talk to me,” he pressed.

“I know. But I can't. Not yet.” She pushed past him, carrying Adana's suitcase.

“When?” The anger in John's voice grew as he followed her down the hallway. “You have to tell me what's going on.”

“I will. Soon,” she said, each footstep seeming to emphasize the growing distance between them. She could feel John's frustration, but she couldn't deal with it yet.

“Don't run away from me,” he insisted, catching up to her. “Don't shut me out again.”

She felt a strong hand catch her arm and pull her around. Terror rushed through her, and she swung wildly, hitting his shoulder, pushing him away. “Stay away from me,” she yelled, as she swayed on her feet.

Fear blended with anger coursed through her.

Heather pressed her lips together, clamping down the growing hysteria. She knew her reaction was way out of proportion to what John had done. It was instinctive. She was losing it in front of the only man she had ever loved.

John stood staring at her, eyes wide.

“It's me. John,” he said quietly.

She took a few quick breaths, then nodded. “I know.”

“I don't think you did a few moments ago.”

Heather could only look at him, her past mingling with the present.

He stood in front of her, his hands clenched at his sides. “Please tell me what's going on.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, feeling as if she was teetering on the edge of an abyss. One wrong step and she would fall.

“I need to know. If this is going to work, Heather, you have to tell me what that was all about. What is going on?”

She sent up a prayer for strength and courage.

“I don't know where to start.” Heather willed her quavering voice to be strong.

“I think you should start with Mitch.”

She bit her lip, inhaled a cleansing breath and began.

“Contrary to what you may think, Mitch and I never really dated when I left Saddlebank. He was just my manager,” Heather said, setting the record straight at last. “At the same time, I knew he wanted to get back together with me. I didn't want that. I wanted to work and pay back Mom and Dad.

“I didn't make a lot of money at first. Catalog jobs didn't pay that much, or so I thought. Mitch handled my finances, which was a mistake, but I didn't really know any better. He had control of my life, though I wasn't aware of it at the time. Anyway, I started taking on other jobs, but didn't really like the work.

“When I found out about you and Sandy getting married, I realized that I would never get you back. I was upset one night. Mitch came. I talked about quitting modeling. He told me that would be an even bigger mistake. That I had a great future ahead of me. I was lonely and scared, and he stayed with me...”

Heather's voice faded away as shame overtook her. She cleared her throat and carried on. “I was pregnant a few months later. And I was upset. Mitch said we needed to get married. I didn't want to end up a single mom, like my mother, so I agreed. After a couple of months, I found out that he'd made some bad investments. And had lost most of my money. We fought about that, and that's when the abuse started.”

“Abuse?”

Heather ignored John, unable to look him in the eye.

“He was careful,” she said, keeping her voice even, emotionless, as she struggled with the shame and humiliation. “I still had a modeling contract. He told me to keep my pregnancy quiet. Otherwise I would lose work. Of course, he needed me to keep making money, but I also knew sooner or later it would become obvious. I was at a photo shoot one day for a magazine and I was joking with the photographer, and it came out that I was pregnant. Mitch heard us. That night he blew up.” Heather's hand slipped, as it often did when she thought of that night, to the scar on her hip. The scar she got when Mitch pushed her so hard she fell down the stairs. “He beat me so badly, I lost the baby...” She faltered, feeling the pain, sorrow and shame coursing through her.

John's sudden intake of breath made her glance up.

He looked horrified. Angry and disgusted.

“Why did you stay with him?”

“I didn't. Not after I lost the baby.”

“But before that. Why didn't you leave before that? Why did you stay with him?”

Ice bloomed in Heather's chest, spreading to her hands and feet. She had bared her soul and made herself vulnerable, and
this
was John's reaction? She couldn't face it.

“Are you ready to go?” Mrs. Panko asked, stepping inside the house. She looked at Heather, then John, frowning as if she sensed she'd interrupted something.

Heather knew she should stay. Talk it through. But she couldn't. Her own emotions were rubbed raw. She needed to retreat. Regroup.

“Yes. I'm ready,” she said. “Just let me get my purse.”

“Heather,” John called out, but she kept going. Later, she thought. She would deal with it later.

* * *

“Is everything all right?” Kim asked as they headed toward her car.

Heather guessed she was referring to the situation she had just walked in on.

“Yes. Everything is fine,” she said, the lie coming automatically to her lips. It was her standard answer to Mitch whenever he sensed she was upset.

She tightened her grip on the handle of the suitcase as she reached the vehicle, which was parked by the house. Adana's car seat had already been moved from John's truck.

“I'll get Adana and meet you out here,” Kim said.

Heather nodded, putting the suitcase in the trunk and then following her to the house to get her purse. Luckily, she usually left it on the porch. She didn't need to go inside to answer any awkward questions.

She caught a glimpse of her mother looking over at her as Kim lifted Adana out of the high chair. Heather gave her mom a quick smile and wave, then hurried out of the house.

Thankfully, Mrs. Panko was quick, and by the time she had Adana in her seat and had slid behind the wheel, John still hadn't come out of his house.

But as they drove away from the ranch, Heather saw him striding across the yard, clutching a large envelope. Probably the papers he'd been looking for.

Sorrow gripped her at the sight. What would happen to them now?

“So, that's happy news for John,” Kim said. “Him becoming partners with Monty.”

“I'm sure he's thrilled.” Pain, as heavy and solid as a rock, settled in Heather's chest. His reaction to her news—his shock, his confusion, his retreat—all battered at her already fragile emotions. She didn't want to chitchat with Kim. Not as they drove away from the man who had so easily recaptured her heart. Heather wasn't sure how to interpret his reaction, but deep down, she knew it wasn't good.

“I'm thankful he found a good use for the insurance settlement he received when Sandy passed away,” Kim was saying. “I know he felt guilty for getting it and wanted to give some to us, but we told him that he had to think of Adana and her future. I know we were hoping he would start up a business closer to town, but we can't complain. At least this way Adana is only half an hour away. We can still see her whenever we want, can't we, munchkin?”

Kim shot a glance in the rearview mirror at her granddaughter. The toddler's cheeks were red and she gave a huge yawn. Heather suspected she would be asleep before they got to the road.

“She's a cutie, isn't she?” Kim declared.

“She's adorable,” Heather agreed, tired from the constant stream of talk.

“You sound like you've become attached to her.”

“It wasn't too hard to become attached.”

“I know for us, our connection to her is so strong because of losing Sandy.”

“I'm sorry, again, for your loss,” Heather said. “Sandy was a wonderful person. I owe her a lot. It was thanks to her that Ellen found out what was happening with my mom, and I got moved to the Bannister household.”

“When was the last time you saw your mother?”

“It's been a while. I haven't been around much.”

“I know.” Kim's words had an edge that cut as sharply as any knife. “And when will you be leaving again?” she continued.

“Leaving?”

“Yes. You're going to Atlanta for your interview in a few days, aren't you?”

The assumption that she was leaving was more than Heather wanted to deal with right now. But she didn't have the energy or the ability to erect defenses.

“I don't know. I was going to go talk to Marnie Giesbrook today about setting up barrel-racing clinics,” she said.

“Would you be happy doing that? After working as a model?”

The faint disdain in Kim's voice cut, so Heather chose not to answer.

“I know this is hard for you. I know you loved John at one time, but I want you to consider...” Kim paused, biting her lip, as if unsure how to carry on. “I don't know how to phrase this more delicately, but I'd like you to consider keeping away from him. He's a good man. He loved our daughter dearly and I know he's still grieving Sandy's death. You have your own complicated history and, let's face it, you haven't had the best role model with your real mother. I know Ellen is a gem, but your more formative years were spent with your birth mother. And I got to see firsthand what she was like and how she behaved. We love Adana dearly and we want only what's best for her.”

Kim Panko shot her words out like poisoned arrows. Heather found herself reeling from the precise verbal hits that only reinforced what she had just told John.

She couldn't protect her own baby, let alone take care of someone else's. She was just like her mother in more ways than one. In more ways than she wanted to admit.