Sabrina (Big Sky Dreams 2) (31 page)

"Not every time,- Sabrina said. "Just nearly.Rylan

had to laugh. He took her hand and finished the walk home. Honestly wondering how his heart was going to survive.

Sabrina got a letter from Callie when the mail came on Monday. She didn't allow herself to look at it until the end of the day. She walked back to Jeanette's and went to the garden, sitting on the stone bench there. [ My dearest Sabrina,

There is no way to tell you how muchIlong to hold you and tell you in person how much you are loved. Your question

268brought back many memories. Both Danny and I have laughed and cried over our remembrances of that time.

To answer your question. It took a while. I saw Danny probably much the way you do Rylan. Perfect. No real shame in his past. None of his sins of unthankfulness, an occasional bad attitude, or a struggle with lust ever seemed to compare with my past. I shouldn't have been keeping score, but that's what my mind did. So what did I do? The turning point might surprise you. I didn't keep weighing the two of us, or try to find some sin in his life that made me feel better. I simply recognized that I was not that person any longer. I was saved from all of that, and was being saved every day. It was one of the most freeing things that ever happened to me. It wasn't about me but about what Christ had done with my sin.

By the time Danny told me how he felt, I was not surprised. I realize that not every man could handle having a former prostitute for a wife, but I knew that the

269Man who let me get away was a fool. I was growing in my faith and I was working hard to be holy. I was kind, caring, wanted a home of my own to keep. and deeply wanted a godly husband and children. ]

Sabrina stopped reading, her mouth open a little in surprise. Having confidence that she had something to bring to a relationship had never occurred to her. She felt almost grateful that Rylan cared for her, too grateful in fact--as though she should forever be in his debt that he would overlook her past and love her. But that was all wrong, and she knew that Rylan didn't feel that way either.

"Well, now," Becky said as she came upon her. "I didn't know you were here.-

"Hi, Becky. I'm just reading a letter."

Becky sat beside her, a basket in her lap.

"From Denver?"

"Yes."

"You're not leaving us, are you?-

"No,- Sabrina said, and knew how true it was. It also caused her to remember something.

"Are you going to put something in that basket?" Sabrina asked, slipping the letter into her pocket. "Would you like some help?"

The women worked side by side in the garden, talking about the day and what Becky had planned for supper. Sabrina didn't miss a single berry or squash, but her mind was hatching a plan the whole time.

Not until Thursday did Sabrina get a chance to see Rylan and give him the gift she'd bought. She went there directly from the shop, telling Jeanette she might be a little late to supper, Rylan answered

270

the door right away, surprised and pleased to see her. They faced each other on the porch, and Sabrina took something from the fold of her skirt.

"What's this?"

"A ticket to Denver so you can see your family. I know it's only one way, but I thought if you had it, you could save for the return ticket."

Rylan looked at it and back up at her.

"What about you?"

"That's just it. If you don't go now, then we might become married, and it will be even more expensive to go. It's been two years. I want you to see your family."

Her sweet face, watching him intently, caused Rylan's heart to clench with love. He could have crushed her in his arms but made himself stand still and gather his emotions.

"I have something I need to show you."

Rylan was in the house for only a minute before returning, two letters in hand. The couple sat side by side on the bench before Rylan began.

"I wrote to both my father and Danny Barshaw. I don't think I need to tell you what I wrote. You'll be able to tell by their letters.

"Dear Ry,' my father writes, 'I don't know that I'Ve ever known a man who wrote to ask his own father if he could marry. I've certainly known men who checked with the bride's father, but never the groom with his own. To say you make me proud is so inadequate it's not worth the ink.'

"Your Sabrina sounds as precious as a woman can be. To have found someone who will partner with you in your love for Token Creek and the church family is a gift from God. I am not concerned about you marrying someone we have not met. I know Chas keeps in close touch with you, and you have never shirked a single question we have sent your way. My only regret is not being able to see you married or at some point on your honeymoon, but you know that we understand.-

271 Rylan looked at Sabrina, whose mouth had fallen open a bit, smiled, and started on Danny's letter.

"Dear Rylan, do you want to know something special? I saw your father for the first time in years the day after your letter arrived! He told me of your letter, asking if you could marry Bri, and my heart was blessed.'

"I do not hesitate to give you my blessing to marry our Bri. She is precious, and I know that you will treasure her always. Our only regret is not being there with you or having you visit us here. Keep us informed of your plans and know our prayers are with you."

Rylan stopped long enough to look Sabrina in the eyes before speaking again.

"So you see, we need to set this ticket aside until there is enough money to make the trip together. That's what everyone wants, including me. Don't ask me, my sweet Sabrina, to go to Denver without you. It wouldn't be any fun at all."

"I thought I was giving you such a lovely gift, but you're right," she answered with utter practicality. "We'll have to go together sometime."

Rylan had to smile at her matter-of-fact tone, and Sabrina smiled in return. And it was at that moment the most natural thing in the world to lean toward each other and kiss for the first time. It was brief, and for a few seconds they moved back and looked at each other.

"Are you all right?" Rylan asked, his voice soft and deep.

"I am. Are you?"

Rylan nodded before they leaned one more time. The second kiss was sweeter than the first, and Sabrina sighed when Rylan put an arm around her and she was able to put her head on his shoulder. She was planning only to drop off the ticket and get home to Jeanette's, but they started to talk about their families, and she was a good deal later than she planned.

272

CASSIDY, NOW FIVE AND a half months pregnant, walked the short

distance back to her house to get the loaf of bread she had forgotten the night before. Trace and Brad were on their annual cattle drive, and the women were staying together. It had been decided early on that Cassidy would stay at Brad and Meg's, so as not to uproot Savanna. And truth be told, they were having an amazing time.

It felt like the days before Cassidy and Trace were married, when Cassidy would come to Meg's on Wednesday afternoons and the two women would sew and visit. The first two days the men were gone, they worked on their own laundry and some special jobs that had been waiting, but now they were doing things together, including meals and long conversations in the evening.

Meg well remembered the cattle drives when she went to stay in town with Jeb and Patience-and they had come for supper one night-but this time together with her sister-in-law was causing the men's absence to be less painful and to pass swiftly.

Cassidy was nearly to her porch when she heard a wagon coming up the drive. She looked over to find Jeanette and Rylan in the wagon. She stood still and watched as her pastor brought the wagon between the two houses. Meg had heard as well and had come out her back

273 door as they pulled up, Savanna in her arms. The tears in Jeanette's eyes told the women the news was not good. They both knew before being told that Theta Holden was gone.

Brad and Trace had gone to see their mother before they left, but that did not make her funeral any easier. The Holdens had lived in the area for many years, and many folks were at the graveside for Rylan's words.

"I have two very good friends in Token Creek, and they happen to be brothers," Rylan said, looking at the Holden men, their faces sober as they stood across from Rylan, Theta's coffin between them. "Brad and Trace befriended me when I first arrived here, and I count myself blessed to know them.

"I knew their mother in a different way. Theta and I never had a normal conversation, but I knew much about what Theta believed because of her sons. Theta Holden understood that this life is temporary. She taught her sons from an early age that they must not settle here too permanently. She told them about her own faith in Christ, and that heaven awaited her. Her sons could see the genuine belief in her life and wanted it for themselves.

"I have no doubt that if Theta could have spoken, she would have told her sons how pleased she was that their faith was real. She would have been blessed beyond words that they both found believing wives and were having children who would know exactly where their salvation lies."

Rylan's eyes swung to Jeanette before he continued. "I'm sure there were moments when time seemed to crawl, but in truth the time that Theta lived at Jeanette's passed swiftly. Jeanette and I were talking last night, and she vividly remembers the day her sister was born, even though she was only three years old. 'A live doll to play with' was how Jeanette saw it."

More than one person smiled at the image before Rylan went on.

274 "But the relationship progressed far beyond that. They were not just sisters but friends. Theta moved here with her husband and two sons many years ago, and the relationship she shared with Jeanette only became stronger. Theta's sons were Jeanette's sons. They shared joys and sorrows as one. When Jeanette's husband died, Theta was there with love and support. There was nothing they wouldn't do for each other, so when Theta's needs became special, it never occurred to Jeanette to do anything else but bring her into her home to live.

"And I'm sure you can guess who gained the greater blessing. Theta was not able to tell us how she felt, but I know that God used Theta Holden to strengthen Jeanette Fulbright. She has shared with me many times how Theta's silence caused her own heart to quiet. And when those times came, God always used His Word to remind

, Jeanette of something she'd forgotten. Something she needed to have fresh on her heart again.

"Heather, Becky, and Timothy will all miss Theta. They have selflessly given to her for years and also have known God's blessing because of it. Theta has touched many of us repeatedly, and I know her memory will continue to do so."

Rylan closed in prayer then. He had not asked anyone else to share-the family had not wanted that-but few hurried from the graveside. Indeed it was more than an hour before the friends and family broke up and took Jeanette up on her invitation to come to the house.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself," Heather said to Sabrina after the service. A large group had gathered at Jeanette's, and those two women were in the kitchen helping Becky. "I already miss her."

"Give yourself time," Sabrina said. "Don't rush your heart." Timothy sat at the table and pretended to read the newspaper. They all heard Becky sniff but knew she would not want to talk.

275 They worked along, making food for the ones gathered and talking to those who wandered through.

Sabrina thought about the way death affected a family and then realized that was what they were. With Theta gone, not a person who lived in the house was related to another, but that didn't change what they had become.

As if she had suddenly had the same feelings, Jeanette was there. She didn't question how anyone was doing but finished loading a tray with fresh fruit, her hand touching each one of them as she passed by. She slipped back out, Heather behind her with another tray. Sabrina made no move to leave. Even when the next tray was ready, she waited for Timothy to notice and continued to work in silence alongside Becky. She was strangely comforted by this small act and a feeling that for the moment this was where she belonged.

Cassidy found Trace on the porch, sitting across from his mother's empty chair as he had done so numerous times in the past. Cassidy came close, sat on the arm of his chair, and slipped an arm around him.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm glad she's not going to stare blankly from that chair anymore, but at least when she was there, I could be with her."

Cassidy laid her cheek on the top of Trace's head, and he reached for her hand.

"The truth is, Cass, I haven't had her for a long time. None of us have. I'm sad for me," Trace spoke as he realized, "but more than that, I'm happy for her."

Cassidy felt tears coming and didn't try to speak. Trace had not cried, and the reason was just as he'd stated: Theta Holden had been gone for years.

"We can still tell the baby all about her, Trace," Cassidy whispered.

276 "You have so many memories to share. These last years will fade, and our baby will know all about the mother you remember."

Trace choked up at that point but didn't try to speak. He held his wife's hand a little tighter, wondering when it was really going to hit him that his mother was gone for good.