Scarred Hearts (Blackrock) (34 page)

Sitting in font of me he takes my hand "I know I am lucky but seriously were going up to the mountains so you will need to dress appropriately" I roll my eyes, the mountains ugh I hate the mountains, but I will do it for him. "So what time we heading out?" I manage between bites of toast "About noon, I need to get the picnic put together first" he stands up going to the fridge "Bailey when is your dad back?" he asks looking into the cupboard now "Three weeks he said he would be home for Thanksgiving" Knox just nods as he decides to chop up some fruit.

"I am hitting the shower," I announce going up the back stairs, It's weird having him here all the time. I step into the water relaxing as it hits my skin, it will be hard having Knox leave when my dad comes home. I have gotten used to him here, we are quite companionable so far I haven't gotten annoyed at his little quirks, I like them. He is a bit strange when it comes to cooking but that's ok he is good at it. I wonder what my dad will make of him, hopefully he likes him life would be hard if he didn't. Then again my dad is not they type of person to warn Knox away from me, he is easy going for the most part. My eyes are closed as I enjoy the water running over my body, I turn to get out when I see Knox standing there against the door jamb with his arms crossed and his leg cocked "Jesus Christ Knox, you frightened the life out of me" I yell at him.

He still stands there looking at me "Ok so you're not Knox, Max get out these are for your brother only" I say joking as I step out of the shower. He is still standing there saying nothing looking at me "Knox you are being creepy" I see his lip slightly lift at one corner, so he is alive. "I am just admiring the view" he shrugs. In a perverse way, I think to myself.

"Can you check my stitches?" I ask moving my wet hair, He is over like a shot examining me "They look good almost gone, is it hurting?" I let my hair fall down "No just tender to lay on still but no more pain" he nods "that's good, otherwise I would have to fly to Florida and beat Rogers ass" I kiss his cheek as I walk by him to my closet. Pushing hangers around trying to find something fitting to wear to the mountains. I grab my faded jeans or also known as my, if I wash them one more time they will fall apart jeans and my black V neck sweater. I also take out my hiking boots. Knox raises his eyebrows at them "Darlin we are driving not hiking"

"I know but its good to be prepared" I smile getting dressed. My phone chimes on the dresser, Knox hands it to me as I pull on my jeans. I open the email to see my car will be ready next week "Ah finally my baby will be home next week" I smile reading the rest of the email.

"That's great" he smiles at me, I twirl around "How do I look?" "Stunning as always" he winks, he is smooth I don't even have on any makeup and my hair is still wet "Sure" I say to him picking up the hair dryer blasting my hair. By eleven thirty we are in the car all set to go "I have to check the bar real quick" he tells me "Ok do you what you gotta do" I smile then look out of the window. We park out back and Knox runs inside, I wait in the car for him. It's getting cold now I can feel the chill on the wind, glad to have brought a heavy jacket. Knox comes back out locking the door behind him and slides into the car "Lets go" he says rubbing his hands together. I turn on the heater as he pulls away from the bar.

About an hour later we pull into a secluded wooded area with barley enough space to open the car doors without being assaulted by foliage. I sigh as fight my way to the back of the car "Do you not like the mountains Bailey?" putting on my jacket I smile "What ever gave you that idea Knox?" he starts laughing swinging the back pack onto his shoulder and taking me by the hand. He leads me through some trees then we are in an open area, it looks as if someone came chopped down a circle of trees and planted grass.

"Wow Knox" I say turning around with my arms out stretched, He spreads a blanket on the ground for us and puts the backpack down removing the food. I stay standing for a few minutes feeling the sun on my face and the wind gently kissing my cheeks, there is not heat to the sun but it is shining brightly. I am smiling when I sit down "You like it here?" Knox asks "Yeah its pretty. So how many other ladies have you picnicked with up here?" I wiggle my eyebrows at him. "Just one, my mom" Knox looks around "She used to bring us up here when we were kids, we'd have a whole day out here. Playing ball, eating a picnic" he smiles at me "But you are the first girlfriend I ever brought up here" I kiss him lightly "Thank you, for sharing this place with me" he gives me a small smile rubbing his knuckles on my cheek.

"I brought you here to tell you some stuff but can we eat first?" he says removing lids and unwrapping sandwiches. "Sure babe" I say behind a somewhat false smile, I can tell he is nervous, he keeps chewing his lip and his hands are shaking slightly. Looking at him is making me get all worked up again, I don't really have an apatite now. He hands me a fork and the small container of fruit salad; I take a few bits of orange and some grapes putting it down. "You ok Bailey?" he asks nodding at the fruit. I rub my hands on my thighs letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding "Can we just do the talking bit, I am getting nervous waiting" I say trying not to sound petulant, he nods "Ok" he sighs putting down his food, his head hangs low so I can't see his face. I lay down beside him so I can look up into his eyes; he rubs the side of my face smiling at me then takes a deep breath.

"After my mom died Max and I were lost, we spent all out time with her. My dad was always away on business when she was sick so we had to deal with that by ourselves. When she died my dad decided he would stay home and be a father to us finally but he was the opposite to my mom. She was carefree and hippyish, he was hard and regimental, Max and I hated it. We were wishing someone would call and give him a job overseas so we could do our own thing again. Our senior year was awful, he was home that entire year always complaining, always had something to say about our friends or girls we were seeing, I don't think he liked anyone including us. So during senior year we got a call from Uncle George who told us a new college was opening in Blackrock in September that we should look into it.

Max and I were on that website so fast, we were only thinking of getting the fuck out of there away from him. As it turned out we saw it had a great engineering program and a business program, we always said we would set up our own business after college. Max is talented when it comes to engineering, we both design motorcycle engines but he gets all the nitty gritty details done, I said I would learn the business side so we wouldn't have to ask for any outside help.

We applied to BRU in that March and we got our acceptance letters in July, we couldn't believe that both of us got picked to go to the same school we were beyond happy. I called my uncle telling him we were accepted and he offered us a place to live as long as we worked to earn our keep. Max and I agreed so we moved here in late August, our dad was annoyed at first but we told him we were going to college not going to work in a bar and pick up chicks, eventually he came around" Knox stops talking taking my hand in his "Darlin the next bit is probably going to piss you off a lot but please wait until the end before you hit me" I frown at his words sitting up on the blanket I take my soda "Ok" I say waiting for him to go on.

"So we moved here everything was going good, I met a girl named Lindsey who was in a few of my classes, we hit it off and started hanging out. She was fun, we used to go dancing, out to see bands play she even came with us as a roadie on weekends. On spring break of that year I brought her home to meet my dad and spend time on the beach, she was from Arizona so she didn't get to the beach often. I thought I loved her but I know now I didn't, I think it was hormones more so than anything else"

I am trying to keep my face blank of emotion as Knox is talking but my heart is slowly cracking listening to him tell me how great she was, I can see him looking at me from the corner of my eye but I just stare straight ahead hoping my face is blank. "She kept hinting at me to propose at the end of the school year" A small whimper escapes me and I cough trying to cover it up drinking some soda, Knox holds my hand again and continues.

"So she is going on and on about this ring she saw and how it would be perfect for her. I was in a good place then so I considered it, I let her take me to the mall and show me the ring. I was a little surprised as I would never be able to afford it but she was so excited, jumping up and down. I nearly died when she pulled me inside the store to try it on. Later when we got home I told her I could never afford something like that on what I earn from the bar, I mean Max and I only work part time and we had just bought our Harley's so any money I had saved was now gone.

She didn't like me saying that to her and took off for a few days, I didn't know where she went at the time and honestly I didn't look too hard. When she came back from her trip she was distant, she was getting texts at all hours and hiding her phone. She changed her phone passcode so I couldn't use it, I asked her what was going on but she said she was fine that we were fine. I believed her, after a while she was acting normal again. So during the early summer we all went back to Marion for a few weeks, Lindsey and I, Max and Sarah. Sarah and Lindsey did not get along so it was hard for Max and I to spend time together.

Sarah was a surfer so she was in the water by six am everyday, Max and I would get there about eight but Lindsey stayed in bed and refused to hang out with me if I was with them. I told her that I am not giving up my brother for her or any other girl, which pissed her off even more.

She then stayed in the house all the time, even if Max and Sarah were not with me she refused to come out with me. In the evenings she would eat with us but then go to bed, when I came to bed she got up and slept on the sofa, I didn't get it, I thought she was hormonal or missing Arizona or something so I let it slide. After two weeks I got pissed off and told Max I was coming back here and going to work in the bar for the summer he wanted extra cash too so we came back. When I was working Lindsey was never around she always took off saying she had to go see this friend or that friend, but would always end up staying overnight.

One night I got pissed off with her, yelling at her to come home. Asking her where she was? Who she was with? I was acting like a crazy asshole. Which is not me at all but in those last few months she changed me, without me realizing it because of all the games she was playing. Sarah transferred back to San Diego so Max was upset for a while, I was trying to help my brother through it when Lindsey came into the bar and announced she was Happy to see the back of Sarah. Max was pissed off anyway but that just turned him against Lindsey, he told me not to call him until I was done with her because he didn't like her. So now not only was Max without a girlfriend he was without a brother, he took off back home for a while to think.

I was missing him so much; we were never apart before so it was strange. Lindsey took that opportunity to fuck with my head, telling me how much she loved me and now that Max and Sarah were gone we could get our own apartment and get engaged and move on with our lives. We had a huge fight that night I was pissed. I told her again that Max was number one to me and no girl would ever come between us then she told me Max tried sleeping with her one weekend when we were out on a gig.

I was shocked and pissed at Max; I walked her home that night and drove straight to my dad's house. Poor Max was asleep, I hauled him out of bed slamming him up against the wall I wanted to hit him so bad but I couldn't. I asked him why he would do that but he laughed at me, telling me I was crazy and he would never touch Lindsey or ever try because he never liked her, he only tolerated her for me. I didn't know what to do then, Max and I talked most of the night, he told me that he would never make me choose between a piece of ass and him because he knew he came first with me and I with him. That night we agreed never to fight over a girl ever.

So the next morning we went to the beach, my dad was away that week. He didn't know we were there at all. After dinner we came home and saw his car in the drive, we were not expecting him and he was certainly not expecting us. Max and I were walking up the stairs when we heard a woman laughing; both Max and I were about to take off when she comes running out of the bedroom with a sheet around her and my dad chasing her in his boxers. I froze; I couldn't believe my eyes Lindsey and my dad were fucking each other.

I didn't know what to say, the usual questions came out Why? How long? Why? Max pushed me into his room but after the initial shock I stormed back out punching my dad in the face over and over until all I saw was blood. Max pulled me off him, Lindsey was crying screaming that I was an animal and that she loves him. I asked her how long they were fucking behind my back she was crying and said since spring break so about six months.

My mind went numb after that, Max and I packed our stuff and took off never went back, that was last Summer. I was in a bad way for months, I didn't go to school Max would say he was me sometimes and go to some of my classes turn in my homework that he had done on top of his own. I couldn't function I lost all kinds of weight, grew a beard, Then just before Christmas last year Max lost it with me. He dragged me into the bathroom telling me I looked homeless he shaved my head and my beard; he gave me those drinks old people drink to get my body strong again. He would watch me eat everyday counting calories and adding more and more. Eventually I was able to go to school but I missed so much, Uncle George got me into some extra classes but I had to work hard and on Saturdays for the rest of the year to make up my grades.

Max and I started going to the gym and out for rides on the bikes, he got me back together. I could never repay him for what he did, Sometimes I still get angry at them and in some way I think it was my fault, if only I loved her more or if only I stayed in with her. I don't know sometimes I still get all those feelings and I can't shake them.