Scarred Hearts (Blackrock) (41 page)
Bailey is already pulling out of her parking spot when I reach the car, pounding on the window shouting at her to stop but she doesn't. I watch her pull out and feel my heart get ripped out with her. I am on my knees in the middle of the street when I feel a hand on my shoulder, looking up I see Lindsey "Get off me, get the fuck out of my life! I hate you can't you tell now fuck off!" I shout at her. Getting to my feet I go back into the bar locking the door behind me. Max I need to talk to him pulling out my phone I speed dial him. It's ringing and ringing before the voicemail kicks in, hanging up I dial again. I keep dialing until he finally answers "What Knox?" he sounds pissed "Max, I fucked up. I kissed her Max I fucking kissed her" I feel the tears slide down my face knowing I have probably just lost the best thing in my life.
"What are you talking about bro?" Max asks but I can't get the words out "Knox? Hello" "Max I'm in the bar" It's all I can get out before dropping my phone and crying like I did that day my mom died. I don't know how long I am there when Max and Paige run in "Knox what the fuck?" Max asks sounding even more annoyed than he did on the phone, I can't look at him I know what I will see in his eyes my shoulders shake as more tears assault me. He puts an arm around me "Bro you need to tell me what is going on here" lifting my head I look into his face, my brother the only person who has ever seen me cry is filled with worry and concern. Clearing the knot in my throat I spill my guts to him the whole fucking sordid tale "Jesus Christ, Knox what did you do that for?" I hang my head in shame even hearing the words out of my own mouth sound dumb and immature. Paige comes back into the bar then "I am going to find Bailey, her dad said she never came home"
"What? Where is she?" I ask standing up; I have to find her Jesus what if she wrecked her car? Paige puts a gentle hand on my arm "Stay here Knox, I think it would be better if I go alone" I can see the pity and anger mixed in her eyes as she looks at me, nodding I sit down on the stool feeling like the asshole that I am.
Paige and Max take off out back for a minute then he comes back "Knox you're my brother and I love you but what the fuck were you thinking? You probably just ruined the best thing in your life" knowing he is right I don't even answer him.
Waking up in my own bed fully dressed I look around wondering how I got here. I feel a body behind me, looking over my shoulder I see Paige lying there asleep in her clothes. "Paige" I shake her, She opens her eyes looking at me "Hi Bailey" I can see the sadness in them and I know it wasn't a dream. Paige puts her arm around me as fresh tears begin "Why? Paige Why did he do it?"
She hugs me tighter "I don't know Bailey, I don't understand it anymore than you do" I nod closing my eyes as a fresh wave of pain hits my heart. I don't know how long I am laying there when I turn to look at her again, she wipes my face with her hand "You need a shower, you're a mess" she smiles "Ok" I agree getting up "Where is my car?" I ask taking off last night's clothes. "In your garage, I followed you home from the turnout" she says with a question in her voice "Oh ok I didn't remember" I say walking into the bathroom. The shower is scalding just the way I like it, mind-numbing heat on my skin like a sandblaster. When I finally get out Paige has coffees and toast waiting in my room "Thanks Paige"
Sitting on the bed beside her I take the coffee "Do you want to talk about it?" she asks brushing my hair behind my ear "No, I just want to forget. I am done crying Paige. I have shed more tears in the last five months than I have in all the rest of my life. I'm done with it" as I say the words I force myself to numb the pain in my heart and soul, I am not going to cry anymore I can't cry anymore and I will not allow myself to shed one more tear. Turning to Paige I ask what she is doing for the day "I was supposed to hang out with Max" she says sheepishly. Looking at my watch I see it is two in the afternoon "Well you better go be with him, say hi from me" I say with a smile.
"You don't have to put on a brave face with me Bailey" she looks at me with pity in her eyes and I can't take anymore of that, steeling myself against the emotions assaulting me I smile at her "I am ok Paige now go be with Max and have a good day. I might see you tonight" she stands up hugging me goodbye then leaves.
Walking into the kitchen I see my dad reading "Hi dad" he looks at me "No Knox today, I thought for sure he would be here" he says smirking at me "Nope, he had other plans. What are you doing today?" "Well I have a charity ball I have to go to tonight but I have no date, unless I can convince my daughter to tag along" he raises his eyebrows in question.
"Sure dad I will go I missed you these last few weeks" I smile sitting opposite him "Do you have a dress? Its black tie" shaking my head no he offers to buy me a new dress and get my hair done "Ok thank you" I say kissing him on his head, he sits there smiling at me "I missed you too sweetheart. The car will be here at seven so you better get going" checking my watch it is already two thirty, I scramble to my room grabbing my purse and phone I am on the road in five minutes.
I take the freeway to the mall so I don't have to cut through town even though this way is longer; I make it to the mall just after three. I know the perfect store for a ball gown I saw it when I was here yesterday so I head straight there, going through the racks of dresses I eventually find a beautiful pale purple chiffon empire waist dress with a band of purple and white stones. I try it on and snap a picture, I need a second opinion so I text Roger.
Me: How do I look? Charity-ball tonight this ok? I haven't spoken to him since he was here but I need to rekindle our friendship even if it did get damaged.
Roger: WOW!! Yes you are beautiful as always
Me: Thanks you're the best love you
I get the dress on the credit card then get my hair done. The stylist puts it into braids with purple and white flowers through out I am nearly in tears when she shows me. I get her to take a picture for me from the back. By four thirty I am leaving the mall when Paige texts me, asking if I am going to the bar tonight I reply no that I have a date and attach the picture of my hair.
Paige: OMG!! You look amazing, I am jealous
Me: lol thanks I am driving back now see you later
Paige: stop by my place on your way back, please
I am not sure I want to stop by because I don't want to see Max today. That is the bad thing about dating a twin there are two reminders walking around when things get crazy. Pulling into Paige's apartment I see her second space empty, breathing a sigh of relief I hop out of the car and run to her door. "Bailey, wow" she says when she opens the door I walk in to her sitting room seeing Max laying on the couch "Hey lazy" I say pulling his foot. "Hey Bailey, damn look at you" he says as I twirl for him "Thanks Max but I can't stay, the car is picking us up at seven" he smiles at me but I can see him wanting to ask me questions just then Paige walks in with a jewelry box.
She hands it to me "Here, it's only on loan but it will look good on you" opening the box my jaw hits the floor as I see a diamond choker nestled in the velvet "Paige, I can't wear this. What if loose it?" She waves her hand at me "Every girl attending a ball needs diamonds" she smiles at me. Max is looking between us and at the box "Are they real?" he asks, Paige laughs "Yes Max, of course they are" I can't tear my eyes away from them they are beautiful "Paige really I can't" I say handing the box back but she moves out of my reach "You can and you will now go, I have a boyfriend to occupy before he starts work" I feel a sadness wash over me but smile anyway "Ok thank you, I will have them back in the morning" I hug her and Max goodbye.
By seven that evening my dad and I are in the limo heading to a hotel in downtown. Arriving I see all the women wearing diamonds, thanking Paige in my head. "Where did you get that necklace sweetheart?" I see dad looking at it "Paige loaned it to me, she said everyone here would be wearing diamonds" We both look out of the window of the limo as other guest walk by us. "She was right" dad says tapping my shoulder, turning I see him holding out a box to me "Hear an early Christmas gift" I take the box from him opening it I see a diamond tennis bracelet "Dad, what the heck! How can you afford this?" he just laughs at me putting it on my wrist "Bailey, you will inherit everything I own one day then you will know".
I am in serious shock as we walk into the hotel; they have a photographer taking pictures of guests as they enter. Dad and I stop, posing for our picture then walk into a ballroom. I look all around, seeing the beautiful decor of the room. They have hundreds of roses filled in huge vases all around the room and on every surface, the pillars lining the room are made of the same marble as the floor rising to the ceiling which is painted with pictures of cherubs sitting on clouds reaching out to one another.
"Bailey, is that you?" I draw my eyes away from the ceiling to see one of my class mates Terry standing with a petit girl "Hi Terry, what are you doing here?" he smiles at me "Hey Bailey, the same as you huh?" I smile "Yeah I guess, I am here with my dad" I say to him. "This is my fiancé Cassidy" he introduces us, through out the night I hang out with them as my dad chats with colleagues and clients. Cassidy and Terry are really fun, we have a great time dancing together and getting our pictures taken. Cassidy is in town for Thanksgiving when she asks what is there to do around town, Terry asks me about Georges bar "Hey don't you date that singer dude from there?" he says "Yeah I do, its good fun on Friday and Saturday nights, maybe you should go there next weekend before you go back to school" I say to Cassidy "Yes! Only if you are there though, I don't like going places where I don't know anyone" she smiles at me "Yeah sure I can met you guys on Friday" I say trying not to show my pain just thinking of what happened last night. "Hey why don't we bust outta this place and go there now, it's only ten" Terry says looking at his watch. Cassidy is excited about the idea "I don't think so, we are all dressed up" I say looking around for my dad.
"Come on Bailey, please" Cassidy begs with her hands together, shit this is going to be awkward. "Let me find my dad first" they nod as I walk away. Looking around I spot him in deep conversation with two men "Excuse me dad" I say arriving at their group, he smiles introducing me to them "Dad, I met some people from my class here but they want to leave, do you mind if I go with them?" I am hoping he will play the, I haven't seen you in months card but no he tells me to go have fun with people my own age.
By eleven that night we arrive at the bar in all our finery, I only have to get through two hours then I can get out of here. Terry walks in first then me and Cassidy follows me holding on to my elbow. I see Paige in our spot and point Terry over that way, walking past the bar I see Knox watching me but I ignore him. "Paige" I say tapping her shoulder, she turns nearly falling off her stool "Oh my god Bailey, you are beautiful" Max whistles at me from the bar, I smile and wave at him. He comes out from behind it pulling me into him, he whispers to me "You ok?" I squeeze his hand and nod. "So who wants a shot?" he announces letting me go, we all raise our hands and Max smiles than kisses Paige.
Terry, Cassidy, Paige and I are having a laugh when Knox comes out from behind the bar; I turn my back as he walks by me. He touches my arm briefly sending searing heat through me but I ignore it, it kills me but I have to if only to protect my heart from further decimation.
Some guy gets up to sing and we all clap "This is for all the lovers in here tonight and the hot chick at the bar" He raises a glass to us and I turn to Paige "You, its you" I say laughing. He sings "Wonderful tonight" by Eric Clapton; my heart beats wildly in my chest as I watch Terry and Cassidy take the floor. I can feel the tears swim in my eyes then I feel a hand on my back pushing my to the dance floor, I know its him I know his touch anywhere, he takes my hand in his leaving his other on my lower back and we dance. He sings the song to me and I have to swallow hard to keep the tears at bay, we don't speak just dance. He pulls me closer and I can feel his heart beat just as wild as mine "Knox please" I try to pull away but he won't let me, he holds me close and tight "I love you Bailey" he whispers which causes a rouge tear to escape.
I cough swiping at the tear so he won't see it "Don't cry darlin I know I fucked up and I want to explain what exactly happened but I know you don't want to hear it right now" My whole body aches for him but I can't just forgive him "I need time, Knox. You smashed my heart and I don't know how to feel right now" I whisper back to him. He squeezes my hand resting his head against mine "I'm sorry darlin".
We dance in silence for the rest of the song, the guy singing announces "Hey bro, you are one lucky dude" nodding at Knox who just nods back at the guy. We walk back to the bar holding hands Knox won't let me go when we arrive he waits a few seconds then squeezes my hand again walking through the beads. Max goes after him; I keep an eye on the beads while Paige rubs my arm "You ok?" I nod at her "Yeah I think I should go home, I need a taxi. We came in a limo" I nod to Terry and Cassidy who are still dancing, I see Max emerge from the beads and looks over at me giving a half smile.
Knox comes out a few minutes later caring a case of beer I look at him seeing his eyes are red he has been crying which kills me even more. "I'll get a taxi Paige" walking to the dance floor I say goodbye to Terry and Cassidy agreeing to meet them next weekend. I wave to Paige as I walk out of the door searching my Phone for cab companies in this area, which it turns out are none. Fuck, why did I agree to come here. I text Paige telling her I am outside and need a ride home, She walks out a few minutes later "Hey no cabs?" "No they don't service this area" she laughs "Ok I will let Max know" I nod shivering in the wind; I should have brought a wrap or shawl or something.
My body is in full shaking mode when I feel a strong warm arm around my shoulders he just isn't giving up. I look at Knox from the corner of my eye "I have the truck tonight I can take you home if you let me" shit I am cold, tired and emotionally drained. "Ok" he walks me around to the back of the bar as we reach the last corner my step falters, although he is beside me I don't want to turn the corner. I feel him tense "I'll bring it round" he says letting go of me. My body shivers the minute he lets me go betraying me at every turn, he pulls up beside me then gets out opening the door for me. He helps me up and gathers my dress closing the door he climbs into the driver seat.