Scarred Hearts (Blackrock) (7 page)
"That's cool," says Paige. "I better get going" thanks for your help, I'll see you around" I say and smile at her. "Sure no problem, see you around, laters" she says and starts to walk away. I make my way back over to my car and pop the trunk. As I am lifting my bags inside I hear a motorcycle pull in beside me, I look over as the driver steps off the bike and removes his helmet. Shit! TDH is standing there fixing his hair, he turns around and sees me at the trunk "Sweet ride" he says nodding at the car. "Yeah thanks" I manage to get out. He smiles and starts to walk backwards; "So you not goanna run away again?" he asks smiling at me.
I lower me head behind the open trunk and I hear him laughing at me, a deep throaty laugh. I scowl at myself and wait until he goes into Gorges bar. I quickly slam the trunk and hop into my car. I arrive home after about ten minutes; I decided to drive the speed limit. I unload all my stuff from the trunk and struggle inside. When I enter the kitchen I see dad writing a note, he looks up and helps me with my bags. "Jesus Bailey what did you buy?" I plop the books on the table and stretch out my hand. "I picked up my books today and some clothes, I had to use your credit card for the books cos I didn't have enough cash on me" I tell him.
"That's ok sweetheart, that is what its for" he begins to pack some papers into his briefcase. "Are you ok dad, you look a little stressed" "Sorry Bailey, I have to head out to DC early, my chief engineer broke his wrist playing football with his son" he says.
"Oh ok" I say. He sighs and gives me a hug "I am sorry, I wanted to be here to see my baby go off to college on Monday". I smile back at him "I know dad, but your business is important so you need to go". "Yeah I do, you can use the credit card while I'm gone, just don't go wild I am not that rich" he jokes. "I have left a list of phone numbers there on the table if you need anything here in town. Call my assistant Ms. Quinn and she will help you out". " I should be fine," I tell him. He gives me another big hug and a kiss on the head "Ok sweetheart, I will talk to you soon. Enjoy college and keep the grades up or I'll have to take that car back" he jokes. "Yes Sir" I say and give him salute. Five minutes later he was gone and I was all alone.
One week later....
It is finally Friday again, I have been at college all week and so far I like it. I have seen Paige in some of my classes but she looks like she has her own friends so I don't bother her. I am in my last class for today, which is fantastic because I lucked out and get to finish at 2pm every Friday, how cool is that.
I am sitting at my desk in my computer class when I see Paige walk in, she waves and walks over. "Hi Bailey, how was your first week?". "It was good thanks, how about you?" I ask her. "Yeah I like it and this is my last class today so I get off early on Fridays" she says. "No way me too" I answer; she sits down in the desk beside mine. "That's awesome, we should totally hang out tonight". "Hey are you going to the fresher's barbecue tonight?" she asks me, "No what is that".
"It is the kick off to a weekend of partying to celebrate starting college," she says lifting her eyebrows. "Never heard of it" I say, "I have been too busy all week trying to get organized, I had to go online and order some stuff for this class that I didn't know I needed."
"I hear ya" she says "but you should come tonight it is going to be fun, a BBQ on the beach" she smiles at me. "There is a beach here?" I ask her. She is about to answer when our professor walks in, she scribbles down her phone number on a page and hands to me with a "call me" on it.
I nod at her and think; wow I have really been living under a rock these last few weeks.
When class lets out Paige tells me to call her later for the details and directions. I agree to go and check it out and tell her I will call.
I arrive home to find a box sitting on the porch; I pick it up and see Summer's parents address on it. I remember her mom telling me she was sending me some pictures, I bring the box inside and set down on the table. I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and down it in one. I look in the fridge again and realize I need to grocery shopping or I will be living on fresh air.
I grab the letter knife and sit down to open the box; I open it to find a note,
Hi Bailey here are the pictures I called you about. I hope you have fond memories and best of luck in college, Love Cindy Anderson.
I open the box and see about two hundred photographs, I take them out slowly and begin to look through them. I see photos of Summer and I all the way back to kindergarten, the school plays through out high school, Christmas's we spent together. These photos opened a Pandora's box inside of me. I find some more recent pictures at the end of the box, one of my eighteenth birthday our fall formal ones. Summer and Ben, Brad, and me we are both smiling like fools but happy fools at that.
By now I am crying, I have a box of tissues half used but I don't want to stop, I look at our Christmas photos of last year, Summer is wearing antlers to the dinner table, I remember laughing so hard at her and she sat there with a straight face all through out the meal, in full view of the restaurant. We did some crazy stuff together, I smile at our valentine pictures, we both painted our finger and toenails red to celebrate love. I see the picture of our spring formal, both of us posing thinking we were supermodels, but we did look hot that night. The photograph makes me cry harder because her parents choose this one for her funeral service. I look inside the box and see the letter, it is in a pink envelope with my name written in familiar swirly writing. I take it out and stare at it for a while; working up the courage to open it, after about fifteen minutes I finally decide to open it.
Hey you,
This is really hard for me to write because if you are reading this, well you understand. I don't know how to tell you or my parents how I am feeling right now. It has been this way for a while now, I used to be so happy and looking forward to the future, but now I can't even take one more day.
As you know about a month ago I finally did the deed with Ben, he had the room all nice and special just like you told him too :-) But you probably know by now what he did to me, I thought your first time was supposed to romantic and private between two people who loved each other but I guess I was wrong.
You know of all the shit I have had to put up with since that night and it hurts so much. I don't know how tell you of the shame and how disgusting I feel inside. Bailey you are my best friend in the whole world don't ever forget it, but please be careful around Ben and his crew. I can't take anymore of their tormenting. It's not fair Bailey, I gave myself to him and he wrecked my life. I feel so dirty and degraded I just can't get it off my mind, every morning I cry because I woke up, I don't want to wake up anymore. I want the pain to stop and the old me back but that will never happen. I can't do this anymore Bailey; tell Roger I love him too.
You are the best friend a girl could ever have; I love you from the bottom of my heart all the way to yours. Your BFF xxxxx Summer.
P.S Goodbye Bails see you again someday, but for now go out and live and find your true love because if anyone deserves it, it is you.
Love ya babe.
I sit at the kitchen table crying so hard I am choking I can't breath. I feel the blackness looming over me again. I fold up the letter and bring all the photographs up to my room. This hurts so much, what am I supposed to do now, I sit on the floor and rock back and forth, I can't even function at the minute. I eventually lie down on the floor and fall asleep.
I wake to the sound of my phone ringing over and over, I lift myself off the floor, my muscles are sore and my eyes are stinging. My phone starts to shrill again; I grab it off the nightstand and answer with raspy voice, "Hello". "Hi Bailey, it's me Paige". I close my eyes and lean back against the bed.
"Hey what's up?" I ask, "I was just calling to see if you were still coming out tonight?" Shit I forgot all about the damn barbecue, I take a deep breath "Yeah sure, where do I go?" I ask Paige.
"I was thinking you could come by my apartment and we could go together". "Yeah ok, text me the address, what time will I get there for?". I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. "Well its 6pm now so I was thinking you could get here by 8 and we can head out". "Ok sure I'll see you then" I say and hang up. A few seconds later my phone beeps with a text from Paige; she sent me her address and directions from the college.
I pull myself up off the floor and head for the shower, I wash my hair slowly and then let the hot water sooth my body. After a few minutes I step out of the shower and pull on my bathrobe, I wrap a towel around my hair and head for the closet. I decide to wear my black skinny jeans and the new gypsy top I picked up last week. I fixed the missing ribbon myself by threading a purple ribbon through the opening. I put on a cream tank top beneath it. I decided I will start living again so I put on my full makeup, I go with a purple and grey Smokey eye and my favorite shade of lipstick, the perfect blend of brown and pink.
I grab my riding boots from the closet and tackle my hair. It is so long now, just above my waist. I plug in my large curling iron and get to work, it takes me about twenty minutes to give my hair the perfect tousled beach look, I pin up the sides and take a look in the mirror. I look good for once and put on another coat of mascara. I look at my watch and it is already 7:40, I grab my cell and wallet and head out to the car.
I arrive at Paige's apartment building at 7:55pm and parked in the number 6 spot. I guess she has two parking spots. I make my way up to her apartment and knock on the door. She pulls it open and waves me to come in, "Sorry I was stuck in traffic on the way back from the mall, I should be ready in five" she calls from the room on the left. "Make yourself at home have a look around". I walk into the apartment and notice an empty bedroom; I walk on further and come across a decent size living room with full furniture and a neat little kitchen. Paige comes up behind me while putting her earrings in. "Nice place" I say she nods and smiles "My parents got it for me, even though they live like a fifteen minute drive away, they said when I got to college they wanted me to have the whole college experience, which means living on my own". They sound like fun parents I think to myself.
"Ready to go?" "Yep lead the way". She grabs a small purse off the sofa and heads for the front door. We walk down the stairs and out into the parking lot, it is still warm at night so we don't need jackets. I open my car and get in; Paige hops into the passenger seat. "Wow Bailey nice car" she says. "Thanks my dad got it for my Birthday two weeks ago".
"What it was your birthday, no way?" I laugh, "yeah it was a quiet one for the first time ever," I tell her. "We will have to celebrate it again tonight" she says with a smile. Paige shows me the way to a hidden beach here in Blackrock it is only a ten minute drive down a small road that if you didn't know about it, you would drive by it. I pull into the gravel parking lot and see about thirty cars already, I reverse into a spot near the exit so no one will ding my new baby.
"There are a lot of people here already," I say. "Most of them came after classes today but that is way to early, I needed to get my cute on" she says. I look over at her and see that yes she got her cute on, "You look nice I like your shirt" I say, she is wearing a pale yellow sheer blouse with a baby pink tank underneath. "Awe thanks" she says "I love your gypsy top, where did you get it?". We climb out of the car and I fix my top, "I got it at Beth's downtown, the ribbon was missing through here, I point to the neck. So I put a purple one through it. Its still a little big up top so I have to wear it off one shoulder". "Wow you did a great job fixing it and it looks really good off the shoulder" she says while fixing her hair.
When we reach the beach I see a bonfire already going full blaze, there are people dancing around it to someone's iPod hooked up to a wireless sound system. The music is good, not my style but catchy, Paige grabs my hand and pulls me over to a group hanging out by a pickup truck parked on the beach acting like a bar. "Hi guys this Bailey," she says to the group. Some of them say hi while others just look at me like I am an alien species. "Hi" I say and give a small wave.
Paige and I take a seat on a nearby rock and she starts telling me their names and how they all went to high school together.
After about an hour a tall guy with sandy brown hair comes over to us, "Hey babe" he says while leaning down to Paige and giving her a kiss. "Hi Duke, this is Bailey" she points to me and then "Bailey, this is Duke" she says. Duke holds out his hand to shake mine, "Nice to meet you Bailey" he says. "Hey do you mind if I steal my girl for a minute. I haven't seen her all week and I just wanna tell her something" he winks at me and laughs. "Sure go ahead" I say.
Paige looks a little annoyed and turns to me "Give me five I'll be back" and then follows Duke behind a large bolder.
I am close enough to hear them but not see them. I can hear Paige tell Duke to stop it and that he is acting like an ass. I try not to listen but they are getting louder and a few people around me look over at me and roll their eyes. One of the guys from the high school group walks over to me and sits down a little to close for comfort. He takes a swig of his beer and then turns to me "Hey so you new here?" "Yeah that's me, the new girl" I say and look out at the ocean. "I am Brad," he says. I turn to look at him and burst out laughing.
He looks at me like I am a weirdo, "I'm sorry," I say. "Ok so do you want to make out?" My eyes pop out of my head at his forwardness and I answer "No thanks". "Why you a lezzer?"
I stop laughing and turn to glare at him "No Brad, I am not gay. I don't want to kiss you because you seem like a dick and you have a stupid name" I say and get up off the rock.
I turn around to look for Paige but I don't see her, I start to walk behind the rock her and Duke came behind and I find her sitting in the sand alone. "Hey what happened?" I say as I rush over to her. I can see her wiping away a stray tear, "Its nothing, you know I am done here, do you mind taking me home?" she asks me. "Sure ok if you want to" I reach down and help her up off the sand; we start walking back to the parking lot. I hear a guy slurring his words after us, "yeah piss hoff, you are a tease, pidge" I turn around and see Duke waving his arms around and trying to point at Paige. We reach my car and she makes sure to clean all the sand off her jeans.