See the Light (7 page)

Jason was sweating. He frowned. His apartment was air-conditioned. Why was he so hot? Then he remembered. He wasn’t at his apartment, and the reason for the blazing heat in the bed was the man sound asleep next to him.
Patrick
. Jason smiled.

While they’d slept, they’d drifted apart, but Jason remembered slinging an arm around the older man. Should he do that again? Would Patrick wake up if he did? Jason had never cuddled another man, but as soon as the front of his body connected with the back of Patrick’s, he’d felt like it was the right thing to do. The puzzle had finally come together.

His stomach gurgled, and Jason pressed a hand there, trying to shut it up. Patrick rolled onto his back.

“Guess I’d better feed you before you start picking off limbs.”
With a laugh, Jason sat up before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Yeah, I was just thinking I needed to find some ketchup.”
“Ha-ha.”
Jason grabbed the room-service menu and then brought it over to the bed, propping himself against the headboard. Patrick joined him there, and together they perused the selections. It felt oddly…domestic, but comfortable at the same time. Jason wasn’t at all sure what to make of that.
“A steak sounds pretty good. What are you looking at?”
Patrick gave him a half smile. “Steak.”
“We’re creatures of habit, aren’t we?”
“Well, I eat with the team on the road, so I’m guessing I’m as sick of chicken and pasta as you are.” Patrick slanted him a glance. “Wanna get a bottle of wine, since we’re not leaving tonight?”
“Sounds good.”
Not leaving tonight…
Jason chewed the inside of his cheek. He’d agreed to spend the entire night with this man. Would they sleep? Fuck all night long? Play cards?
Patrick placed the order and then went into the bathroom. Meanwhile Jason tried to calm his now galloping heart.
Everything’s okay. Don’t make too much of this.
By the time the other man returned, Jason had managed to calm himself, and they shot the shit while Jason flipped through the pay-per-view channels, looking for a movie while they waited for dinner.
The rest of the night passed without either Patrick or him making a move on the other. Instead they watched the movie they’d picked out and stuffed themselves with steak, wine, and a dessert Patrick had ordered. Jason didn’t often eat dessert during the season, but when the tray came and Patrick offered to split the slice of cheesecake with him, he threw caution to the wind, figuring he’d expend enough calories to counteract the rich treat.
The movie ended, and Jason watched as Patrick tried to hold in a yawn.
“Sorry. I’ve been up for a long time.”
“And you’re old.”
Patrick straight-armed him to the bed, pushing up his T-shirt and flicking his nipple.
“Ow!”
“Cut it out with the old-man jokes.”
“Cut it out with the kid references.” “Deal.”
Patrick was leaning over him, and Jason took the opportunity to reach a hand up to cup the back of his neck. Obligingly Patrick allowed Jason to bring his head down, and their lips met for a kiss. Whereas before their kisses had been wild, almost desperate, now they were languid and relaxed. Jason wasn’t sure which he liked better.
Patrick slowly lowered his weight, sliding a thick thigh between Jason’s as he continued his slow assault. His lips moved from Jason’s mouth, down his jaw, and to his neck. With a little moan Jason turned his face to the side to give the other man better access.
“I want to mark you,” Patrick said.
Jason turned until his gaze collided with Patrick’s. “You can’t. The guys will notice.”
“Shh,” Patrick murmured, putting a finger to Jason’s lips. “I know that and I’m not going to, but fuck, I want to.” Moving his finger, he then slid it down the side of Jason’s neck. “Would love to mark all this perfect skin up.”
“Perfect skin? Hardly.”
“Perfect to me.”
What the hell can I say to that?
He squirmed. “Um, thanks.”
Patrick reared back and stared at Jason. “I just went too far, didn’t I? You just drive me crazy.”
He sighed, and Jason wanted to say it was all right, but it wasn’t, and he felt weird.
“I’m sorry. I know this is supposed to be us having fun, it’s just…”
Refusing to meet his gaze, Jason said, “Don’t worry about it, dude.”
“Dude? Shit, I definitely went over the line.” Rolling onto his back, Patrick said, “I really didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Seriously, it’s fine.”
Liar.
Patrick looked over at him. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“Do you still want to, you know?”
Jason’s eyebrow rose. “Want to do what?”
“Fuck me.” The other man cleared his throat. “Do you still want to fuck me? If you don’t, that’s fine, we can just go to sleep. I mean, we both had long days, and—”
“Patrick.”
“What?”
“Shut up.”
“You’re mad.”
“I’m not mad.” Jason rolled to face him and repeated, “I’m not mad, okay?”
Feeling a little weirded out, but not mad.
“Okay.”
“And if you’re offering your ass, you better believe I’m taking it.”
“Really?”
Jason laughed. “What gay man would be able to refuse your tight ass served up on a silver platter?”
“Uhh…”
“Don’t answer that.”
“It’s quite an image.”
With a chuckle Jason rolled away to grab a condom and the lube. “Do you do this often enough that you’d be okay on your back? It would be kind of cool to actually be able to see the face of the man I’m fucking.”
“We can do that.”
“You sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I’m sure. I want to see you too.”
Jason poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. “How slow do you need me to go?”
“It’s been a while, but if I’m not okay, I’ll let you know.”
He took his time preparing the other man until finally Patrick moved restlessly.
“I’m ready. Fuck me. God, I need it.”
After wiping his hands, Jason started to put on the condom and found his fingers were shaking. Finally he got the damn thing on. “Ready?”
Patrick nodded, his features tight with arousal. “So ready.”
He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, exposing his tight hole, and Jason forced himself to take several deep breaths.
“Are you this hesitant with your bar hookups?”
Jason’s gaze flicked up to meet Patrick’s. “What do you mean?”
“You seem really uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine.”
“Then give me your dick.”
Jason gave a little chuckle he knew sounded forced. “Man, you’re pretty bossy for a guy with his legs in the air.”
“You’re pretty tentative for a guy who does this all the time.”
This is different.
Jason swallowed through what felt like a beach ball in his throat. The best way to get through this without losing his mind was to take control, and Jason did. “You wanna be fucked? You got it.” In one smooth glide Jason slid his cock all the way into the other man and groaned.
“That’s what I wanted, yeah. Now fuck me with that nice big cock.”
So Jason did as he asked, pulling out none too gently before slamming back into Patrick. “You like that? You want that?”
“Shit, yes.”
He couldn’t resist ribbing Patrick. “I had no idea you were such a cock slut.”
“What gave me away? The way I drop to my knees to suck your dick as soon as I see you, or the way I keep begging you to bang me?”
A laugh sputtered out. “Hey, anytime you wanna suck me off, just let me know.”
Patrick bared his teeth. “Be careful what you wish for, kid.”
Jason’s own teeth were clenched against the barrage of sensations arrowing through him like a lightning bolt. “Don’t. Call. Me. Kid.”
“Fuck me.”
The words were little more than a growl, and Jason redoubled his efforts, thrusting so hard Patrick was moving up the bed a few inches at a time.
“That’s it.”
Soon they were both breathing hard. Jason grabbed Patrick’s cock and quickly spread the precum over it before beginning to jack the man hard. “Come for me. Come all over your chest. I wanna lick it off.”
Where the fuck did that come from?
“Ah shit!”
Patrick’s body bowed as his release took him over, and Jason watched until his own climax crashed into him and his eyes slammed shut. When he came to, Patrick’s abs and chest were dotted with his milky-white seed, and after pulling out and quickly tying off the condom, Jason did just what he’d said he’d do. He leaned down and licked the cum off the other man. The taste of cum had never been a turn-on in the least, but somehow he didn’t mind Patrick’s. In fact, he found himself craving it.
Dial it down, Jason.
They took a quick shower together, too tired to do more than a cursory rinse, and then crawled into bed. Jason spooned Patrick again and fell into a deep sleep.

As Jason wandered through the huge mall near his apartment, he wondered if he was supposed to get Patrick anything for Christmas. They’d managed to meet once since the overnight the day after Thanksgiving, but Jason had no idea how to classify what they were doing. Were they dating? Was Patrick his boyfriend?

Jason made a face. It was weird to call anybody his boyfriend, much less a dude who had fifteen years on him.
Partner? Lover?
He made another face.
Definitely not lover.

Should he call Patrick and ask? He felt like an idiot, like he should know what to do. But how would he? He’d never been in a relationship before, and he wasn’t even sure he was in one now. With a sigh he hit Speed Dial Four— yes, he’d put the man in his speed-dial contacts, which had to mean something —and pressed Call.

“Hi. I have a really stupid question to ask you.”
Patrick chuckled. “Okay.”
Jason took a deep breath. “Are we dating?”
“Huh?”
“Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have called.”
“Wait. Give me a minute.”

Jason heard some muffled voices, and then Patrick came back on the line.
“Sorry. I was in the training room.”
“I didn’t even think about that.” Jason felt his face flaming and turned away from the bustling shoppers. “I shouldn’t have called you. It’s just… I’m at the mall—”

“No, it’s fine, really. You just surprised me.”
“I feel like an idiot.”
“Why? For calling me?”

“For not knowing what we’re doing.”
“Oh, hon, don’t feel stupid. I don’t know what we’re doing either.”
“You don’t?” The last word came out a good octave higher than his normal speech, and as his blush deepened, Jason laid his forehead on the wall next to him. This was mortifying.

“Not really. I mean, we never talked about it.” The other man paused and then continued. “Are you…are you seeing anybody else?”

“No.”
“Hooking up with anybody?” “God, no. I wouldn’t do that.” “Neither am I, on either count,

which means we’re exclusively seeing each other. I’m not sure I’d call it dating, since that usually involves, you know, going out on dates. Is that what you wanted to know?”

“Yes. No.” Jason made a frustrated noise and rolled his eyes toward the heavens. “I’m at the mall, and I didn’t know if I should buy you something for Christmas.” The words rushed out before he could stop them, and Jason seriously considered investigating ways to make somebody forget a conversation. If there was such a thing, he’d be lining up to get ahold of it so he could wipe this ridiculously awkward encounter from Patrick’s mind.

Obligingly Jason took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Better. Now, what do you want to do? We both have enough money that neither of us
needs
anything, but if you want to exchange gifts, we certainly can.”
Jason tried to think fast. He was a terrible present giver and definitely didn’t feel like he knew Patrick well enough to come up with anything decent. “How about this? Next time we see each other, we’ll actually leave the hotel room and have dinner somewhere.”
“You sure you want to do that?”
“Men go out to eat together all the time. And we’ll be in Trenton.”

“Some people might consider that a date.”
“So it’s a date. The idea doesn’t bother me.”
“Is it what you want?”

“Do I want to date you? I have no freaking idea, since I’ve never done it before and I don’t really understand what’s involved.” Jason could swear he heard Patrick sigh on the other end of the phone.

“It means we’re not just fuck buddies. That we actually care about each other.”

“You thought I didn’t care about you?” The words came out louder than he’d intended, and he wondered if this conversation could get even more embarrassing.
Doubtful, you moron.

“Right… Look, I know you care about me. No one could kiss like you do and not give a damn.” Patrick took an audible breath and continued. “But that doesn’t mean we have to start talking about a commitment ceremony or anything. I think the idea of a nice dinner out when we see each other is good. Other than that, let’s just play things by ear. With the Games coming up, we’re going to have all the pressure we can handle without worrying about how to label this thing.”

Jason knew Patrick was right, but for some strange reason he felt let down. Not willing to reason out why the hell that might be, he said, “Okay. That makes sense.”
“You don’t sound sure.”

“No, I am. But you know I don’t have experience with this stuff, so I’m really just following your lead.”

“Do you want something different?” “I’m fine. Seriously.”

“As long as you’re sure… I want you to be happy, and I
don’t
want you to feel like I’m railroading you.”

“Okay. Now do I get to ask
you
something stupid?”
Jason chuckled. “Sure.”

“What’re you wearing?”
“Dude!”
“What?”
“You’re sick.”
“I’m horny,” Patrick shot back. “Uh-huh. And you call me a kid.” Patrick’s voice lowered, and he

Jason pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it before holding it to his ear again. “What?”

“You heard me. I want your dick in my mouth. I want to suck you. I want to roll your balls around on my tongue. I want your cum. I jerked off last night, thinking about it, and I could swear I tasted you in my mouth.”

“I’m gonna go home right now and jerk off to that again. When will you be done shopping? We could have phone sex.”

“What the hell’s gotten into you?” “I started thinking about you. That’s all it took. You are no doubt the sexiest man I’ve ever seen. So how about it?”
“The phone sex?”
“Yeah.”
Jason smirked. “I’ll think about it.”
“Tease.”
“Later, man.”
He had a sudden urge to leave the mall and pushed the heel of his hand into his crotch to dispel the hard-on before turning and heading for his car. When he got home, he called Patrick back.
“Well, hello.”
Situating himself on his comfy couch, Jason said, “Okay, I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“Fuck you. You got me all excited. Now do something about it.”
“Honey, you take a deep breath and pop a woody. It’s not all that much of an accomplishment.”
“And fuck you again.”
“Don’t get testy.”
“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
Patrick laughed. “Was that sonic boom I heard a little while ago from your car heading home from the mall?”
“Are we gonna do this or not?”
“Is your dick out?”