Solomon's Porch (9 page)

Seven

Peter’s heart leapt when he got the call that he had a visit. His first thought was that God was answering his prayers and had brought Kevin to see him. God always responds, but sometimes the answer even to the most righteous of men is “no.”

Julie wore a dated outfit she knew Peter liked, a somewhat conservative white dress that fit snugly, highlighting her voluptuous curves. If everything went according to plan, her attitude would be friendly, consoling, even loving in the manner of a dear old friend. All of her conflicting emotions about her ex-husband, the love she still felt for him and yet resented, the anger over the shame he had brought upon her, and, most of all, the sense of betrayal she felt at not being given the life she deserved because Peter Carson wasn’t “man enough” to make it happen were all put away, not to be displayed. Today was strictly business.

Peter’s heart sank from the moment he opened up the visiting room door. There stood Julie, but not Kevin. Then his spirit quickened. He sensed danger, an evil presence. Even without his demonic blood hound Saul around to confirm it, Peter knew he was about to be tested. As they walked outside, he bolstered himself with a silent prayer of protection, knowing that he needed all the strength God could give him to repulse whatever assault Julie had come to deliver.

Peter hadn’t seen Julie in almost two years, but none of her powers had diminished over time. Despite his closeness with God and knowledge of the truth, he sensed his “old self” rising to the surface, just at the sight of her. He felt that all too familiar ache, that longing to be with her physically, and to share emotionally. Her proximity began to unravel him. By the time they reached the south lawn, a place where they could speak in private, Peter was fighting an almost irresistible urge to run, to get anywhere but where Julie was, as quickly as possible.

Just before he was about to give into his fear and flee, into his mind flashed a Scripture, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” A smile came across Peter’s face as he sat down on the grass. God had not forsaken him; He was with him all the time. He reminded himself that the Lord was in control, not Julie. His anxiety began to fade.

“Peter? Hello, Peter. Did you hear me?”

“Sorry, yes. I, uh, mean no. Sorry Jules, I was distracted for a moment. Forgive me.”

There was definitely something different about Peter. Julie picked up on it the minute she laid eyes on him. She wondered if maybe Peter’s “God garbage” (as she called his faith) and this new calmness she was perceiving were the result of some psychotropic medication.

Putting on her best phony front of concern, Julie jumped right in.

“I said, how are you? Are you doing okay here? It doesn’t seem so bad, Peter. No guns or fences, it’s not like any prison I’ve ever heard of.”

“Trust me, Jules, it’s still very much a prison. Where’s Kevin? Why didn’t you bring him with you?”

“Can we just talk, you and I, for a minute before we bring Kevin into this? Please, Peter, I’m here to help you.”

“Lord have mercy,” Peter mumbled under his breath. He knew the devil never came to help, but only to steal, kill, or destroy.

“Sure, Jules. Say what you need to say, please.”

Julie had rehearsed and perfected her game plan in detail over the past two weeks. She had no doubt that she could execute it flawlessly and was quite certain it would be successful. After all, when had Peter Carson ever denied her anything? Despite his many faults, Julie was sure that the man sitting across from her now was the same one who had always been willing to walk through hell barefooted in order to please her.

“Peter, I want you to know that I love you. Always have, always will. I’m so sorry everything came down like it did. I know you’re really not that kind of man. I don’t hate you, I do want you to be happy, and I also want you to have a life when you get out of here.”

The best lies are always laced with some truth. No one knew this better than Julie Morgan. She was a master at the art of manipulating men.

“I’m married to Walter now, Peter. Maybe that’s right, maybe that’s wrong, but it is reality.” She thought this little touch of humility might soften him up. “Being married to Walter means things have to change, Peter. My husband’s needs must be considered, not just mine and not just Kevin’s.”

“Jules, if you’ve got something to say, just say it. Going the long way around the barn won’t make it any easier for either of us.”

“That’s good, I can respect that. Plain and simple, Walter wants you gone from my life and from Kevin’s life. Regardless of how you and I feel about it, I can understand where he’s coming from, Peter.

“The fact that you’re a convicted swindler,” she used this term because she knew how much it hurt Peter to be called it, “is making things tough on your son. The kids at school tease him. Walter has to explain away where Kevin’s father is over and over again to his family and friends. In Walter’s circles, appearances aren’t just a big deal, they can be everything.”

“Your calls and letters and all this God talk is really putting a strain on my marriage and on Kevin. He already resents Walter enough as it is. Before, when you only called once in a while, it was fine, but now, Peter, this situation is getting seriously out of hand.”

“Jules, Kevin is my son. God put him in my care as well as yours. I will not go away simply because Walter doesn’t like either me or my past. As for your marriage, that’s your business.”

Peter’s tone was all wrong. Where was the “Geez Jules, can’t we work this out?” weak-kneed attitude she knew so well. Based on this unexpected resistance, Julie skipped ahead in her pre-programmed attack, figuring that trying to placate Peter at this point with further fluff might be counter-productive.

“Would a million dollars perhaps make you change your mind?”

The offer hit Peter like a slap on the face. His “old man” kicked up for a second, begging him to consider the offer. Temptation comes in many forms, and the devil was using two of Peter’s biggest weaknesses, Julie and money, to try and defeat him.

But the hot flash of his former self was not nearly enough to shake Peter’s faith. He decided to play the game out with Jules, to see exactly what she was up to.

“Who do I have to kill for the million?” Peter said, displaying a slightly snide attitude, hoping to disarm her a bit.

That’s my boy,
Julie thought. She was happy to see some evidence of her old ex-husband re-emerging.

“No one, Peter. All you have to do is give up your parental rights and agree never to contact either me or Kevin again. It’s simple, you sign and I wire the money wherever you say. It’s legal, it’s binding, and it’s final.”

“I can never see Kevin again? That’s what you want, Jules?”

Time for the clincher.

“It’s not what I want, Peter. It’s what’s best for Kevin, for me, and for you,” Julie said, trying to sound as pained and sincere as possible.

Peter Carson closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. The first thing that occurred to him was how foolish he was to ever fall in love with such a vain and shallow woman. How stupid he had been to ruin himself over her, to feel compelled to do anything to please her, to forsake his own life for her selfish desires. The true love he felt for Julie she could not return because she was still trapped in her sin.

Then the Holy Spirit took over.

“Walter doesn’t even know you’re here, does he, Jules?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. How dare you accuse me of … ”

“Oh, let me just say it. You’re a liar.”

“You, of all people, calling me a liar. Well isn’t that rich? You wouldn’t know the truth if it jumped up and bit you on the a**.”

“My, my, Jules! Getting testy, aren’t we? What did you expect, you could march right in here and buy me off? I can understand that, I truly can. The old Peter would have taken the money or probably bargained for more, but the old Peter Carson is dead, Jules. Believe it or not, accept it or not, it’s still true.”

None of this was making sense from Julie’s perspective. The former patterns of her relationship with Peter were no longer valid. Regrouping, she quickly moved on to hostile tactics.

“Peter, I came here in goodwill to try and make your life better, and to help Kevin. You’re still a damn fool, you know that? Why I ever married you, well, it’s just beyond me.”

Ouch. Rejection from Julie had always cut Peter to the quick. When he felt small, and Lord knows no one could do that to him like Julie could, he was pliable and vulnerable. She waited to see what reaction this emotion bomb would bring.

“Funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I’ll pray for you, Jules, I want you to know that. My plea to God for you is that He not hold this sin against you. How I wish you could see what I see, feel what I feel! Jules, God is very real. We were so vain, shallow, and full of greed. You still are. Turn away from all this sin, Jules. Turn away before it’s too late.”

Right about then Julie Morgan’s game plan got tossed out the window.

“Amazing. Very good. What’s next, Peter? A TV show? Live from federal prison it’s Reverend Carson? You’re so full of crap. I know you better than anyone else. Don’t you ever forget that!”

Peter pressed on. “Why do you want me to go away? It’s not Walter, it’s you, isn’t it? That man could care less about me, and I’m sure he doesn’t think much of Kevin. It’s you he wants. You’ve used all your tools and skills and now he’s fully under your control, just like I was. So come on, tell me. Even for a rich person, a million is big money. Why?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Alright, I’ll tell you. There is a part of you, deep in your soul, that nags at you. Wakes you up at night, brings you down out of the blue, reminds you of what you did. My coming back into Kevin’s life is like pouring salt into that wound. You don’t want me around because you don’t want to deal with your own sin. You are a manipulative, greedy, liar, Jules. What’s the matter honey, looking in the mirror getting tougher these days?”

While she wasn’t expecting to be hit so squarely on the head, Julie Morgan prided herself on always being ready for anything. Even a rebuke so on point it was tearing her guts out did not alter her settled and indignant façade. It would take more than a few choice words to break her concentration.

“Who is the criminal here, Peter? I could swear you’re the one with “Property of the U.S.A.” stamped on your back, not me.”

“Julie. Please honey, listen to me. That voice that haunts you, tells you something’s desperately wrong, that’s God trying to get your attention. Listen to Him! He will forgive you, I have forgiven you, and eventually you’ll be able to forgive yourself. But you must submit, Julie. You must come to Him and repent.”

“For hell’s sake, Peter! I’ll bite if it will make you happy. Repent for what? I never stole a dime. You did, remember? All I did was to be a loving and supportive wife and where did it get me? Broke, alone, and disgraced, that’s where.”

“You know better, Jules. I know better. One of the reasons you married me, perhaps the main reason, was you knew I’d do anything for you. I didn’t have much, but I did have drive and ambition. I lived to make myself worthy of you. Now, no doubt once I got rolling my own greed and vanity kicked in right behind yours. My sin is my own, but it’s on you too.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Peter.”

“Come again?”

“I don’t want your sin, your face, your voice, or anything about you on me anymore. The Feds took out my trash and for that I’m grateful. You are a pathetic loser and a con man, Peter Carson. I don’t care what you do as long as you stay away from me and my son.”

“I thought this was about Walter’s needs.”

“F*** you.”

“No, I won’t do that, but I will pray for you.”

Part of Julie Morgan was actually very impressed. Never before had Peter stood up to her. They had fought during their marriage, particularly toward the end, and occasionally she’d given in a bit, but eventually Peter had always acquiesced to her plans and did what she wanted him to do. The one thing Julie didn’t have the patience for was a man she couldn’t control. It was time to play her trump card and move on.

“Peter, this is a copy of a restraining order,” Julie said, handing him the document. “It says you cannot call Kevin or me pending the outcome of a hearing in Georgia Superior Court to determine if your parental rights should be terminated.”

“Judge Grove is an old family friend of the Morgans, Peter. He owes us a favor, lots of favors. You are a sleazebag federal inmate. You do the math, Einstein.”

Peter said nothing. He took the one page order, slipped it in his shirt, stood, and started to walk away. Julie watched, and when she saw Peter wasn’t turning around, she got up to follow him.

They walked back to the camp offices in the most awkward of silences. Two people who once swore a lifetime of unconditional allegiance to one another, now shared only the pain of their mistakes.

As they approached the main lobby, Peter stopped and gently grabbed his ex-wife by the arm. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

“Jules, God will not allow this to happen. Kevin is not a toy, and your demons aren’t going away even if I do. Please, Jules, for the last time I’m begging you not to do this. I don’t know what God might have to do to stop you. Don’t play with Christ. The wrath of the Living God can be a terrible thing.”