The 21 Biggest Sex Lies (2 page)

Breaking news: Men think differently than women.

But you knew that already. What you may not know is that when it comes to sexual stimulation, men are visual, and think seeing is believing.

We like looking at attractive women. We but magazines with glossy photos of beautiful women, and yes, sometimes we watch porn.

I agree that the exploitative variety of porn demeans women and you have the right to get mad if you catch your guy watching it.

But when your guy tells you he does not want to watch porn, he is probably lying to you. We are voyeurs, and in the end, we want to see what other people are up to.

Which reminds me of another lie…

By definition, a one night stand is a spontaneous roll in the hay with somebody you have just met, and have no intention of ever seeing again.

Of course, he always calls or drops by at the worse possible moment a day or two later, but for the most part, this is sex for the sake of sex.

Women are compelled to lie about this because you have been sold a bill of goods that says women must be chaste.

It’s sad, but a woman who enjoys sex is often called loose, easy, or worse. Whereas a guy who enjoys sex is a playboy or a Prince Charming.

It’s this double standard that perpetuates this lie.

That said, I think this is a good lie. Men may claim to want to hear the truth, but in my experience, telling your man you slept with a guy you just met in a bar does not do your relationship any favors.

Which is one reason I love this next lie…

Maybe you haven’t. After all, there is a first time for everything.

But there are only so many different ways to experience sex before you start running out of options.

Both men and women tell this lie to protect the feelings of the person they are with.
Which in my opinion makes it a good lie.

We all want to feel like Robert Frost, exploring that “road less travelled by,” and there is nothing like the truth to destroy our illusion of being the first.

If push comes to shove, you can always tell your partner…

We all want to feel important, and when it comes to sex, we are all inwardly insecure about our abilities to please the person we care about.

Which is why this lie is so important to a healthy relationship.

Imagine you are in bed with your lover and he decides it is time to experiment. You’re reluctant because your last experience in this neighborhood of non-missionary sex left you feeling unfulfilled
.

Your first duty is to deny having ever tried it, followed by a few choice words when you are finished, such as,
“Wow. That was interesting. You’re the best.”

Your lie is safe with me. Err, wait a minute…

Men use this comment so often it almost qualifies as a cliché.
And believing this comment can lead a young lady to an experience she may or may not cherish.

Take it from a man who has use
d this lie to his advantage: When a guy says “trust me,” what he is really saying is, “I want to do this and it is up to you to say no.”

And unless you are with a total jerk, you should have the power. “No” means no. You set the limits.

Some women are so desperate to please their man they will not set limits. But let me tell you, limits are a turn on to a guy. We will see your reluctance as a challenge and pester you until you give in.

But again, it’s up to you, and if he refuses to cooperate, it may be time to find somebody who respects your desires.

Which is strange because…

When a woman is in love, she will do virtually anything to make her man happy.

Most of us guys are too stupid to realize this because we operate on a different playing field. As Jeff Foxworthy often says in his redneck jokes…

“…a man only wants three things: to watch a game, drink a beer, and see somebody get naked.”

I admit it. With the exception of a few outliers, we are all simpletons. We go to work where we tell lies about our sexual prowess, hang out with our buddies where we tell lies about our sexual prowess, and buy trucks and big screen televisions to lie about our sexual prowess.

In the end, when it is time to pay the piper, we crawl up the stairs to bed, and struggle to prove that we are not living one big lie.

It is at times like this when the woman we love rolls over, kisses us good night and whispers, “Only you make me feel this way.”

Which reminds me…

A guy will do just about anything to protect his image—including lying to his buddies about being able to please his wife or girlfriend.

The problem is, most guys honestly don’t know the first thing about a woman’s anatomy. It’s a mystery to us, and half the time we don’t know whether to poke it or kiss it. Sorry, I didn’t mean to get too graphic.

But this is a book about truth, right?

Take the G-Spot for example. What the heck is the G-Spot? I’ve read about it. But I seriously doubt I could point to it and say, “Yep, there is it boys. The G-Spot.”

If I could I would probably be qualified to hang a shingle on my door and start doing pelvic exams. But alas, I’m just a guy.

It seems some German OB-GYN found a spot inside his patients (creepy) that heightened the sensation of an orgasm. Fortunately, it is only a couple inches inside, so even the average guy could tickle this spot—if he could find it.

Guys live the lie that they know everything there is to know about the woman in their life because they can’t face the fact that they are frightened by the female anatomy.

It is true that good sex generally accompanies a healthy relationship.

But it is not true that good sex is the same as a healthy relationship.

Relationships and sex are two different things. You can go to a club tonight, pick a partner, and probably have a good time. But if you think this means he loves you or wants a lasting relationship, you may be in for a rude surprise.

Don’t fall for the lie that sex is love. They each have their place in life, and the sooner you can draw a line between the two, the better off you will be.