The Determining (32 page)

With her nerves already frayed from sleep deprivation, Ruth’s apologetic tone sent Charlie over the edge. “Oh, I’m Charlie again, am I?” Throwing the covers off, she abandoned any chance of falling back to sleep. She stomped out of the room and toward the kitchen. “What happened to calling me Charlotte, the spoiled princess?”

“I called to apologize.”

That gave Charlie pause. “Really?” She didn’t bother hiding her disbelief. “Where’s this coming from? Last I knew, you hated me for stealing Thayer.”

Ruth’s sigh whooshed in the phone. “Can we please meet in person? I feel like I’ll do this better face to face.”

More from curiosity than anything else, Charlie found herself agreeing. “You have a lot to make up for,” she warned as she entered the kitchen and walked straight to the coffee pot.

Ruth’s relief was obvious. “I’m flying into Portestas tonight. My mom has some event she wants me to go to on Sunday.” There was an audible hesitation. “Could we get together tomorrow?”

Charlie agreed. Once they’d hung up, she couldn’t help wondering if giving Ruth a second chance was a mistake. The problem plagued her as she got ready, as Liam drove her to class, and throughout the day.

“How long until Ruth gets there?” Thayer asked, his voice echoing through the phone.

Charlie glanced at the clock. “Twenty minutes.” She cradled the phone between her shoulder and her ear. She held two different shirts at eye level, glancing from one to the other.

“What’s going through your head?”

“Honestly?” Charlie laid her options out on the bed and stepped back to consider them. “I’m wondering what to wear. Blue shirt or brown?”

Thayer’s laugh made her stomach flutter. “Aren’t you worried about what she’s going to say?”

In the grand scheme of things, a confrontation with Ruth was the least of her worries. With the threat of Richard trying to possess her and discovering that she loved Thayer, Ruth seemed miniscule.

“Patching things up with Ruth would be great, but it’s not the most important thing. Now,” she swapped her yoga pants for a pair of fitted jeans, “blue or brown.”

“Blue.” His smile was evident even through the phone.

“Give me a second.” Charlie set the cell down and took off her oversized sweater, replacing it with the navy blue Henley. “I’m back.” She placed the phone against her shoulder and headed to the bathroom.

“I have a question for you.”

“Alright.” Charlie started pulling out compacts from her makeup bag.

“How are you sleeping?”

She paused, a makeup brush pressed into her foundation. “Where did that come from?”

He sighed, “Just answer the question.”

“I’ve had better nights.” She blended foundation over her dark circles.

If she were honest, she’d hardly slept since he left. For the first few days, she’d held his pillow and pretended it was him. That worked until his scent began to fade. Now, even sleeping in his bed or wearing his shirts didn’t keep the nightmares at bay.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there for you.”

She was sorry too, more than she wanted to admit. “You have to work. I understand.” She applied her mascara, being careful not to stab herself in the eye.

“How much longer until you’re finished at University?”

Not soon enough.
“Four and a half months.” She finished her face with a touch of bronzer.

The buzzer sounded, interrupting their conversation. Charlie pulled the cell from her ear, glancing at the screen and the waiting text message. “Ruth’s here.”

“We’ll talk later,” Thayer promised before hanging up.

Charlie buzzed the girl in and waited at the front door. The knock sounded a minute later. She opened the door, feeling totally unprepared for what waited on the other side.

“Hey.” Ruth twirled a red curl around her finger. Charlie recognized the nervous habit.

“Come in.” Charlie stepped back, holding the door open. Before she could get another word out, Ruth started in.

“Can we get the awkwardness out of the way?” Ruth’s shoulders were hunched and her eyes averted.

Charlie ushered her into the living room and took a seat. “Go ahead.”

With a deep breath, Ruth plunged in. “I’m a bitch and an awful friend. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did.” Charlie bit her lip to keep from agreeing. “When I found out about the wedding, it was like my future had been ripped away from me. I was upset and everything I said was out of anger.”

“I get that, believe me.” Charlie leaned back on the couch, drawing her legs under her. “I just wish you believed me about the Lottery.”

Ruth glanced up. “I’m sorry, but all that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is you’re with Thayer and I’m okay with that.”

Charlie’s brow arched. “Really?”

Ruth nodded. “I met someone at University.” A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Having him in my life made me realize that Thayer wasn’t my only option. It also made me realize that I’d treated you unfairly.” She pulled on a curl as she spoke. “Will you forgive me?”

If it weren’t for the sincerity in her voice and the uncomfortable way she held her body, Charlie wouldn’t have believed Ruth. But having known each other for years, Charlie could tell the apology came from a genuine place.

“I forgive you.” Charlie allowed herself a small smile.

Their conversation from there was a little bumpy, but after a few minutes, things smoothed out. Charlie even found herself laughing as they headed to the kitchen to cook dinner.

“So, who’s the man that’s swept you off your feet?” Charlie pressed as she bustled around the kitchen, putting on a pot of water to boil.

Ruth’s red hair made her blush more pronounced. “He’s someone I’ve known for about a year.” She grinned. “I never noticed him because of…”

“Thayer,” Charlie supplied.

Ruth hurried on. “When I went back to school, I finally noticed him. Things just progressed from there.”

“His name?”

“Thomas.”

“Any connection to the Council?” Charlie watched Ruth awkwardly browning sausage in a skillet on the stove. She grinned, thinking of her own escapades in the kitchen.

“Not one.” Ruth stirred the meat.

“Your mother must be disappointed.” Charlie regretted how critical the words sounded out of her moth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that to sound so condescending.”

Ruth waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. My mother’s just happy there’s someone out there who wants to be with me.”

They finished cooking and spent the next two hours catching up, though Charlie was careful to avoid mentioning Thayer any more than necessary. By the time Ruth had to leave, Charlie felt like a balm had been applied to the wounds her friend had inflicted.

“When will you be in town again?” Charlie asked, handing Ruth her coat.

“Actually, next weekend. Mother has another event that I can’t possibly miss.” Ruth rolled her eyes.

“If you have any time, we should get together again.”

Ruth pulled Charlie into a hug. “I’d like that.”

With their goodbyes said and plans made for the next weekend, Charlie closed the door. Alone again, she turned her attention to the class work she’d put aside that morning. Throwing herself into the assigned reading kept her from dwelling on the empty apartment. She’d managed to get through almost half when her phone rang.

Thayer.

“Hey,” she said, stifling a yawn. Having her nose in a book for hours made her feel drowsy now that she’d resurfaced.

“How did it go with Ruth?”

Charlie didn’t miss his curiosity, though he tried to sound casual. “Better than I expected. We’re getting together next weekend.” She smiled at the idea of having a social life outside the apartment again.

“What are you going to do?”

Charlie got up from the couch and started up the stairs. “She mentioned an Italian restaurant she likes.”

“You’re going out?” The phone couldn’t mask the tension in his words.

“I won’t be alone, Ruth will be there,” she said, beginning to wonder if going out might be a bad idea.

“Take Liam with you.”

“You want me to take the babysitter?” She joked, trying to shake the nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“A bodyguard.”

She took a moment to gather her courage. “I don’t trust Liam.”

Thayer’s reply was a hearty laugh. “Why don’t you trust him?”

His laughter made her feel like an idiot, but she couldn’t take the confession back now. “I can’t shake the feeling that I know him from somewhere else. What if it’s because he worked for my father?”

“Liam is Drew’s brother. That’s why you recognize him.”

Charlie gripped the phone tighter in her hand. “Why does Drew’s brother work for you?” She couldn’t fathom why Thayer would hire her boyfriend’s brother as a chauffer and bodyguard.

“He’s worked for me for a few years. Liam is a good man. Despite his familial connections, I trust him. And I want him to go with you to meet Ruth.”

The explanation set Charlie at ease. “Fine, but I still don’t think I need a babysitter.” She flopped onto her bed and closed her eyes. They hurt from all the reading she’d done. “So, why did you call?”

Thayer cleared his throat. “You said you weren’t sleeping well. I thought I could stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep.”

Even though he wasn’t there with his ice-blue eyes trained on her, she felt a blush in her cheeks. “I’d like that.”

Crawling under the sheets, still in her jeans and Henley, she listened to him tell her about everything he’d done the past week. The rumble of his voice was like a lullaby. Eventually she fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Every night for the next week, Thayer called her and stayed on the phone until she slept. In the morning, she’d wake to find her phone pressed against her ear, the call disconnected during the night.

Saturday morning was an exception. Charlie woke to Thayer’s deep, even breathing in her ear. A sleepy smile spread across her face. Glancing at the time, she realized he’d overslept. He told her the night before that he had an important client meeting scheduled for that morning. She’d kept him up and now he’d be late.

“Thayer.” When he didn’t respond she repeated his name again, louder.

“Hmmm?” he groaned.

“You overslept.”

“What?” His voice sounded heavy with fatigue.

“You’re going to be late.” Charlie fought to keep from laughing at his sleepy confusion.

A pause then, “Damn it!” Charlie pictured him scrambling out of bed. No shirt, plaid pants, and hair sticking up in all directions. The image did nothing to suppress the giggle she felt bubbling up.

“I’ll let you go, okay?” she said, listening to him mumbling to himself absentmindedly.

“Yeah, okay. Thanks for waking me up. I’ll call you tonight. I love you.” Silence, then the call ended.

Charlie lay motionless on the bed with the phone held to her ear.
I love you.
The words paralyzed her body, but her heart raced out of control. Did Thayer even realize what he’d said to her? He couldn’t have realized. He wouldn’t just drop something like that and hang up.

She blinked, forcing herself to move the phone away from her ear. Looking at the screen, she expected it to light up with an incoming call the moment he realized what he’d said. She waited for almost ten minutes, but the screen remained dark. Why wouldn’t he call her back? Had he really told her he loved her without realizing it? Her brain couldn’t handle this new development without coffee.

Still in a daze, she left the bedroom, trudging down to the kitchen. She went through the motions of making breakfast. Pouring coffee, pushing down toast, spreading butter. She tried to focus on her movements, but her mind lingered on the phone, listening to those words.
I love you.
He loved her. He’d said it. The only way she could move forward was to believe he meant it.

Charlie couldn’t deny the attraction between them. Every time he touched her, her body went into overdrive. And that kiss … She flushed remembering the feel of their bodies pressed together, his hands holding her, the taste of his tongue … .

She shook herself. Yes, they were attracted to each other but how could she be in love with him? She knew so little about him. He’d appeared abruptly in her life. He kept secrets from her and, by his own admission, had married her for the convenience of the match. But he also protected her. She’d never forget the look on his face when he burst into her room after the first nightmare.

The memory of their night on the couch came to mind. Their first night sleeping in bed together. She’d fit perfectly next to him. The night he’d walked into her bedroom and nonchalantly got in bed without asking. He’d opened up to her, revealing a side of himself she hadn’t expected. And now the nights spent on the phone. All of it, done for her. But did she love him?

Unable to eat the breakfast she’d prepared, Charlie spent the day in a state of upheaval. She tried to do more class work but her mind wouldn’t settle long enough for her to accomplish anything. Even watching TV proved to be out of the question. She spent the majority of her day staring at the clock, anticipating her late dinner with Ruth.

By the time Liam picked her up, exhaustion weighed Charlie’s body down.

“Are you okay, Mrs. McLean?” Liam asked as he handed her into the car.

Plastering a smile on her face, she nodded. His look revealed his disbelief. They drove to the restaurant in silence, Liam shooting her glances in the rearview mirror. At the restaurant, he stopped at the front door and walked her inside before going to park the car.

The scent of garlic permeated the small room. Dim lighting gave the space an intimate atmosphere despite the tables pressed close together. It took Charlie a minute to spot Ruth at a table by the back. The girl had a phone pressed to her ear. She spoke animatedly, her expressions revealing her annoyance at whoever was on the other end. When she noticed Charlie, her face broke into a smile.

“ …it done.” Ruth gave Charlie an apologetic smile as she took a seat. “We’ll talk later.” She hung up and stashed the phone in her elegant silver clutch. “My mother can’t let me have a night out without calling to nag.”