The Girl at the Bus-Stop (12 page)

‘But if you took on someone like that, what would happen to poor old Rose?’

‘It would break her heart if I forced her into retirement, and this is her home as well. She has a suite of rooms on the top-floor, and I suppose she looks on us as her family. We’re hardly ever here these days anyway, so it seems pointless upsetting the established scheme of things. Now, do help yourself to sandwiches, Ms Caine. I’ve no idea what’s in them but they look absolutely divine.’

‘Yes they do,’ replied Becky, filling her plate with a variety of crust less triangular works of art.

‘I prefer taking tea in the garden, but it’s so chilly today,’ said Gale, ‘I’m not usually in the country this time of year at all, much too fucking cold for my liking. But I have to audition for a part in a new television series.’

‘That’s great, ‘replied Becky, stuffing one of the tiny sandwiches in her mouth, ‘I hope you get it.’

‘Thank you. My agent thinks it could raise my profile and re-invent me as a stalwart amongst English character actresses,’ she replied, looking unconvinced. ‘Next stop,
Midsomer Murders
no doubt.’

‘What’s this new series about?’

‘Another one of those tiresome period dramas, ‘period’ being the operative word,’ said Gale dismissively.
 
‘The costumes give you the most terrible cramps, the script a migraine and the unimaginative writer and dullard of a director put you in a foul mood before you’ve even uttered your first line.’

‘Still, it must be quite exciting mixing with all those big stars,’ replied Becky sounding awestruck. ‘I’ve only met one famous person, apart from you of course. A TV presenter, from that children’s programme, you know, the one where they make money boxes out of washing up liquid bottles and stuff. They always go on exotic holidays paid for by the TV Licence fee, and come back to tell you how wonderful it was, as if we didn’t already know.’

‘I’ve never seen it but it sounds positively dull,’ said Gale.

‘Anyway, he was Buttons in our local pantomime when I was about fifteen and I won a backstage VIP pass to meet the stars of the show.’

‘Sounds marvellous,’ Gale said dryly. ‘Was he the biggest name they could get?’

‘He must have been,’ replied Becky. ‘I recognised Cinderella from one of those Australian soaps, and the ugly sisters were those two gays from that hairdresser sitcom from way back,’ Becky explained, ‘but Buttons was the main star. But when I met him in his dressing-room he stank of whisky and tried to put his hand up my skirt. It’s funny that, but after watching him on telly for all those years I just assumed he would be a really nice bloke.’

‘There are no “nice blokes” as you put it, in show-business, Ms Caine,’ Gale said pouring out more tea. ‘It’s an industry full of waifs, strays and ne’er -do-wells escaping from reality. Their own lives are a bigger lie than any of the fictional characters they portray. There’s not a writer born yet who could come up with greater examples of tragedy, intrigue, deception and deceitfulness and make it sound even remotely credible. Yet these poor, sad and sorry bastards live and breathe it twenty four hours a day.’

‘What about yourself, Gale? You don’t seem to have done too badly out of show-business.’

Gale smiled at her, flushing slightly before nibbling on a delicately sliced carrot stick.

‘I’ve only been fortunate when it comes to money, but that goes back to the early days. My agent always negotiated generous fees for me to “get my kit off”.’ she explained.
 
‘In one awful film I made in the 1980s,
Liner of Lust
,
I was originally only supposed to do a five minute nude scene. The director was a young man called Lance Flame, who was so impressed with my physical attributes that he practically re-wrote the whole script. Leading up to the shipwreck, I
was
supposed to be dressed in my Edwardian finery dancing with the ship’s captain. Lance cut this scene out altogether, and put me in my cabin bathing in an enamel bath. Instead of reaching the shore with the other survivors wearing a sopping-wet
ballgown
, I staggered on to the beach completely naked and stayed that way for the rest of the film. In fact my whole career in those days seemed to involve me running around
au natural
.’

‘Really?’ replied Becky sounding shocked. ‘I wouldn’t have had the guts, but I suppose you got to see some lovely places.’

‘As I explained to your Mr Rudge at the book launch, when I started in The Biz one could expect some proper location shooting. Unfortunately the rot had set in by the time this epic came along.
 
It was supposed to be a South Sea island, but the budget would only stretch as far as Lincolnshire.’

‘You must have been incredibly brave to bare all for your art.’

‘Not so much brave as avaricious, Ms Caine,’ she said, standing up. ‘I bought a new Porsche 911 after that particular ship came in. Of course all the sex and nudity left me somewhat typecast, and I think it was at least six movies later before I could get through a scene without removing any essential garments.’

‘I don’t think I would like all those people gawping at me.’

‘You do surprise me,’ said Gale, looking puzzled. ‘After all, in chapter fourteen of
Disciplinary Attraction
you capture perfectly the feeling of almost indescribable joy experienced by the middle-aged businesswoman, Faye Delahaye .’

‘Faye Delahaye, of course,’ confirmed a clueless Becky. ‘the businesswoman, middle aged.’

Gale strutted around the room as if auditioning for a part, her hands waving in the air to emphasise various points during her analysis of the character.

‘I loved it when Faye faces total humiliation after her Dominatrix makes her serve drinks in the nude to a room full of strangers. All pawing and groping at her, women as well as men, as she moves around carrying her tray full of glasses, brimming with champagne. It was pure delight, and then the final and absolute ecstasy she must have felt being spanked in front of them.’

‘Yes, she was a game girl was Faye,’ said Becky, ‘but I suppose at her age she just wanted a bit of excitement.’

Gale let out a sigh and sank to her knees at Becky’s feet.

‘Exactly, but don’t you see what I’m driving at, Ms Caine?’ Some of the most memorable experiences for me as an actress and as a woman were doing exactly like Faye Delahaye.’

‘How do you mean?’ asked Becky.

‘When I was the only one naked on an open set surrounded by men and women all watching me, it used to give me such a thrill,’ Gale explained. ‘But now that I’m older, when that type of role is no longer open to me, I still crave that same sensation of humiliation. All I get offered these days is matriarchal types, or dowdy looking pathologists, chisel faced barristers and that type of thing. Take this new series I’m up for, I’ve been put forward to play the fucking cook.’
 

‘At least the kitchen will be warmer than a beach in Lincolnshire.’

‘I know, but it’s just so unfair. I’m not ready to play Lady Bracknell just yet.’

‘Well you look fantastic for your age,’ replied Becky, ‘and I’m sure something younger will come your way. You could easily pass for someone in their late-forties even.’

‘I
am
late-forties,’ she said indignantly, ‘forty seven actually.’

‘Well there you go then,’ said Becky. ‘What about the stage version of
The Graduate
?
 
I read somewhere that they’re always looking for famous old actresses to play Mrs Robinson.’

‘No thank you, I still have some dignity,’ she replied, tossing her head to one side. ‘I draw the line at baring my all on stage in what is little more than a tawdry peep show. I need more intimate surroundings, up close and personal.’

‘But I’m sure your devoted fans would love to see you in the flesh, I mean, live,’ Becky assured her. ‘They’d flock to buy tickets out of respect and admiration for you.’

‘Out of morbid curiosity you mean,’ she replied, frowning. ‘Besides, I’m no stage actor. I get so bored spouting out the same lines over and over again. It would be worse than being in a fucking soap.’

‘If you want to feel like Faye Delahaye, you may have to.’

‘Well I’ve been a bit naughty on that front already. You see my present husband is a film producer, and that young beauty you met when you arrived is his secretary, Shona. She’s one of two over educated bimbos who work for him, the other being the equally young and annoyingly attractive, Charlotte.’

‘You obviously don’t mind your old man surrounding himself with young beauties then, Gale?’

‘Not in the slightest. He prefers to plough a different furrow.’

‘Come again?’

‘He’s gay, Ms Caine.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘Anyway the morning after I read your marvellous book, I went downstairs as usual to collect the post at seven and as usual I wasn’t wearing any clothes. When I walked back into the hall the two girls were standing there looking at me, “absolutely gobsmacked”, I think the modern terminology for it is. I’d only fucking overslept and it was nine o’clock, not seven.’

‘So what happened?’ replied Becky.

‘I just handed them my husband’s mail and walked slowly up the staircase and back to my room. I can’t tell you how good it felt,’ she said enthusiastically.

‘You certainly sound like you enjoyed it, Gale.’

‘Absolutely, Ms Caine, and then just a few days later, joy of joys.
 
I was in the sauna down in the basement, and Shona popped down to find me because there was an urgent telephone call from my agent. I immediately rushed up the stairs and down to the office, completely naked of course. The other haughty bitch, Charlotte, was in there signing for a package from a motorcycle courier, so I had an audience of three as I sat on the corner of Shona’s desk to take the call.’

‘Why didn’t you just ask Shona to take a message, or just tell her you’d call him back later?’

‘These days, Ms Caine, any call from my agent has to be treated as a matter of urgency, I hardly ever get any. If I wasn’t there to speak to him directly, he’d just call up one of his other clients. Despite being with the greasy little, toupee-wearing guttersnipe for the best part of thirty years, loyalty is not a word that exists in his vocabulary. But thanks to that ‘phone call I was able to enjoy every embarrassing moment of being gawped at. It gave me a real Faye Delahaye-type buzz, you know?’

‘It’s not something I’ve ever done myself,’ replied Becky, ‘so no, I wouldn’t know.’

‘When I read about Faye in your book I must have wanted another taste of that feeling of humiliation myself,’ she said, her eyes almost glazing over. ‘So perhaps you can help me get another fix, Ms Caine.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘I would simply adore it if you would watch me walk around the house naked,’ she said, closing her eyes briefly and shuddering with anticipated pleasure. ‘Perhaps you could even call me a worthless old slut and give me a good hard spanking? It’s only what I deserve.’

‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this. Who the hell do you think I am, Gale?’

‘Ms Raspberry Caine of course. After reading your book it made me think, “now there’s someone who really understands women and their needs”. You know how to handle someone like Faye Delahaye, a spoilt bitch. You treat her like a worthless slut, and she enjoys every bitter sweet moment of it and I am just like her.’

 
‘I’m sorry, Gale, but I am
not
your personal Dominatrix,’ she said, standing up and walking across the room towards the door. ‘Thanks for the tea and the chat, but I really must be going.’

‘Please stay, Ms Caine?’ pleaded Gale, a faraway look in her eyes, ‘You can do with me as you please, and I mean anything. But I don’t need to tell you that, you already know I’m just seeking the ultimate in humiliation.’