The One That Got Away (14 page)

Hard to know what Logan believed, or what he felt beyond
despair.

Max was still watching her, waiting to see what she would say
next.

‘You should go home,’ she said. ‘Get some rest. I can call you
if there’s any change.’

But Max just shook his head. ‘I can sleep here.’

‘You call that sleep?’

A tiny shrug and an even tinier half-smile. ‘Polyphasic sleep
experiment,’ he murmured.

‘I’m thinking eight solid hours would help more,’ she replied
dryly. ‘Kit know where you are?’

Max nodded and closed his eyes again. Not going there. Butt
out, Evie.

‘What about food?’ she asked next. ‘When did you last have
something decent to eat?’

‘Define decent,’ said Max without even opening his eyes.

‘All right. I can’t sit here. I’m going mad. I’m off on a food
and coffee run. Works burger for you, if I can find one. Apple pie.’

‘Hot chips with chicken salt,’ murmured Max.

‘Exactly. Comfort food. The really good bad-for-you stuff.’

Evie looked to those daunting double doors that led back
through to the intensive care unit, wondering what Logan might want by way of
food or anything else. ‘You think he’s okay in there?’

‘I think he’s anything but okay, Evie,’ offered Max gruffly. ‘I
just don’t think there’s anything anyone can do about it.’

Which was pretty much Evie’s assessment of the situation too.
‘Yeah, well. Maybe he’s hungry.’ Squaring her shoulders, Evie got up, took a
deep breath and headed for Caroline Carmichael’s bedside.

Logan had given up on sitting. He stood there, hands in his
pockets and his gaze fixed on the monitors of the machines attached to his
mother. He looked up as she came in and Evie’s confidence grew at the flash of
relief in his eyes and the tiniest tilt of his head.

‘How is she?’ she asked.

‘No change.’

‘I’m going on a food run. You want anything?’

‘I’ll come too.’

‘You don’t have to. That wasn’t why I came in. Max’s out in the
waiting room trying desperately to stay awake. You’re in here. I just want to
stretch my legs as much as anything.’ See whether it was daylight or dark
outside. Her body couldn’t remember.

‘I’ll come too,’ Logan repeated, and followed her out into the
waiting room and looked at his brother and frowned.

‘Everything okay?’ asked Max.

‘You look beat.’

‘Yeah, I—’ Max ran his hands over his face. ‘Yeah.’

‘We’re going to get some food. Bring it back here. Then you’re
going back to the house to get some sleep,’ said Logan, every inch the big
brother. ‘Eight hours. Don’t show your face here again before then unless I call
you.’

Max smiled faintly. ‘Bossy.’

‘Not exactly breaking news,’ countered Logan.

So Evie went with Logan to a nearby café and they brought
burgers and chips and coffee back to the waiting room—decaf for Max—and then Max
left and Evie settled down to another long stint of sitting in the waiting room,
this time with Logan, who took the seat next to hers.

He took her hand after a while. He played with her fingers and
looked at the clock on the wall and the scratches on the floor and seemed
content with silence, and Evie wanted to talk to him so desperately about so
many things. She wanted to ask him if this was why he’d left her all those years
ago. Whether it was the hospital that had freaked him out so, and the
similarities between Evie’s trip to Casualty and the trips he might have made to
hospital waiting rooms as a child. She wanted to make this about
her
, and
their
relationship, and she wanted to ask him just how often he’d had to clean his
mother up, or himself up, in the war zone that had been his home. But satisfying
her curiosity seemed like such a selfish thing to do when Caroline Carmichael
was in there fighting for her life and so Evie just sat there beside Logan and
offered her hand in his or her thigh nudging his, her shoulder against his,
because if anything could comfort Logan it was touch. Silence beame their
constant companion and when they did sometimes talk they said nothing of any
consequence at all.

* * *

Two
days later Caroline Carmichael regained
consciousness and Max and Logan set about rearranging their lives around their
mother’s recovery. Evie watched them prepare to upend their lives for her, bring
her home and keep her company here, take her to London or Sydney; whichever way
they argued it, no way was Caroline Carmichael going to be alone.

They were staying at Caroline’s house—making use of her cars
and her facilities and eating her food. Logan and Max thought nothing of it.
Evie thought it was a little bit presumptuous—not of Caroline’s sons but of
her—but Logan had flat out refused to let her stay in a hotel and Max had backed
him and that was that.

She’d tried to make herself useful. She washed clothes and kept
the fridge stocked, put new flowers in the vases and cleaned up around the home.
Nothing big. Changing very little. Not her home.

She’d been on a supermarket run this evening—the fridge had
been largely bare and she’d wanted to fill it before heading back to Sydney
tomorrow. Max and Logan had been at the hospital when she’d headed out, but they
were home when she returned, Max looking relieved and Logan wearing a scowl.

‘Hey,’ said Max with a smile that looked hard forced. ‘We were
just wondering where you were.’

Evie held up the grocery bags in hand. ‘Most of the dinner
ingredients are still in the car,’ she offered by way of a hint. ‘I thought we
might have a nice meal to celebrate Caroline’s most excellent prognosis, and,
seeing as I’m leaving tomorrow, tonight’s the night. Though it doesn’t have to
be if you’ve got something else on,’ added Evie, because Logan was still
scowling.

‘I’ll get the rest,’ murmured Max and beat a hasty path for the
door.

‘Your phone wasn’t on,’ said Logan. ‘You didn’t say where you
were going. You don’t know this neighbourhood and it’s seven o clock at night.
Next time you
wait
for me and I’ll come with
you.’

Evie eyed him warily. ‘Logan, I went grocery shopping. It
happens a lot. It’s
not
a two-person job. And I
thought I’d be back before you. Next time I’ll leave you a note.’

‘And the phone?’

‘The battery’s probably run down. I’ll charge it.’

But Logan still didn’t look appeased.

‘Look, Logan, there’s concern for my well-being—which I
appreciate—and then there’s trying to control my every move—which is going to
drive us both mad. Are we going to have a problem with this?’

Logan stared at her for what seemed like an eon, and then he
let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair and turned away as Max came
back in hauling grocery bags.

‘All good?’ asked Max, and Evie glared at him and Logan shot
him a look that should have had a kill-warning attached. ‘Great,’ said Max.
‘That’s great.’

‘Any more to come in?’ asked Logan and Max nodded.

‘Couple of bags.’ And this time Logan disappeared to get them
while Max started unpacking the ones he’d brought in. ‘Hey...Evie...’

Evie waited for Max to spit out whatever he clearly didn’t want
to say.

‘Look, I know Logan’s being a little overprotective of you at
the moment, and I know it chafes, but he’s still pretty cut up about Mum. Can’t
you cut him some slack? Just for a little while.’

But Evie couldn’t. ‘I know what he’s doing, Max. I know why
he’s doing it. But I can’t let Logan start down that road with me. It doesn’t
lead anywhere good.’

Max nodded unhappily. ‘Your call. Just—go easy, okay?’

Evie nodded. ‘I will. I’ll try. This setting of boundaries
within a relationship—it’s new for me too.’

And then Logan came in with the rest of the groceries and Evie
started to prepare dinner and both men stayed to help. The opening of wine
became Max’s job, Logan top and tailed crunchy green beans. Max put the stereo
on in the other room and music wafted through to them, warm and mellow. They
could use a bit of mellow, Logan most of all.

Because he simmered, there was no other word for it. And Evie
spent a fair amount of time wondering just how much longer he was going to be
able to keep a cap on the emotions threatening to consume him. The man needed a
release valve. And he didn’t seem to have one.

Talk turned to work. Carlo had been holding MEP together but he
was needed out on a job. Logan had been doing what work he could from his
mother’s house but essentially he was relying on the management people he’d put
in place to do their jobs and manage his business.

The doctors were saying that Caroline could come home from
hospital in a couple of days. There’d been talk of neurologists, physical
therapists, recreational therapists and psychiatrists and Caroline’s sons had
said yes to them all. Max and Logan were both sticking around to help get their
mother settled.

‘Maybe I need to think about moving operations back to
Australia,’ Logan said as he skewered thick steaks onto the frying plate, his
attention only half on his words. Max stared and Evie stared and Logan looked at
them both and said, ‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ said Max and Evie in unison, but Evie stopped by the
cooker and pulled Logan towards her for a kiss that spoke of wordless approval
and a whole lot more.

‘I know an exceptionally talented up-and-coming architect,
should you be wanting to build yourself a better penthouse than that monstrosity
in London,’ offered Max once Evie had let Logan go.

‘I thought you liked the monstrosity in London,’ said
Logan.

‘I do,’ said Max. ‘But I can design and build better.’

‘If we started from scratch I’d want a lot of specialist
electrical work done,’ said Logan with a stirrer’s glance in his brother’s
direction. ‘I’d need someone competent to oversee that part of the build.’

‘We have one of those,’ murmured Evie dulcetly. ‘He’s very
amenable. I’m sure someone could persuade him to bid for the job.’

‘If either of you think this conversation is going to get you
any information whatsoever regarding the status of my relationship with a
certain electrical subcontractor, you’re wrong,’ said Max.

‘Relationship,’ said Evie. ‘You used the R word.’

‘I did not.’

Oh, but he
had
. And he was blushing
because he knew it.

‘Anyway,’ muttered Max. ‘Kit’s got a big government contract
lined up in PNG. He’s not going to be around much.’ Max looked to Evie. ‘He
wants to know if we want in on the build.’

‘In PNG?’ First Evie had heard of it. ‘What sort of build?’

‘It’s a—’

‘No.’ Logan’s voice cut across Max’s, heavy with warning. ‘You
don’t want to be building anything in PNG. As for Evie, she
certainly
doesn’t want to be working there. It’s not safe.’

‘Well,’ said Max, and shot Logan a troubled glance. ‘That’s one
opinion.’

‘It’s not opinion. It’s fact.’

‘
You
work there,’ countered Max
mildly.

‘I consult there every so often as a favour to a friend. I
don’t send my people there and I certainly don’t plan to do business there.
There are easier ways to lose the skin off my back.’

‘What sort of build?’ Evie asked again, and Logan turned on
her.

‘Did you hear me?’ he asked icily.

‘Yes.’ Evie kept her voice smooth and even. ‘Did you hear me?
Because much as I appreciate your input on this, Logan, I’m interested in the
details. Once I hear them, I may even agree with you. I may not. I may wonder
what Kit is doing mixed up in this if it’s as dangerous as you say. What I’m
not
going to do is let you speak for me.’

Logan said nothing.

‘Logan,’ she said softly. ‘You have a point. The delivery’s a
little off, but I do hear you. Your opinion matters to me. I’m interested in
hearing it. But then I get to make up my own mind.’ Evie smiled a little, hoping
to coax forth a smile in return but Logan was having none of it. ‘You worry that
I might be too meek for you. I keep telling you that I will hold my own against
you if need be. Well, this is me. Holding my own.’

But Logan was done talking. He picked up the car keys that
she’d dropped on the bench, his jaw set and his every movement oh-so-carefully
controlled. ‘I’m going to get some beer. We’re out.’

No, they weren’t. And Evie was done with this man bottling
everything up inside. ‘So that’s your answer to disagreement, is it?’ Evie
didn’t want to do this. Not in front of Max. Not at all. But she’d had enough of
tippy-toeing around the real issue. She’d had enough of Logan living in fear.
‘When are you going to stop running away from your emotions, Logan? When are you
going to realise that people argue, lovers argue, and emotions can run hot,
s
hould
run hot, at times, and that it’s not the
end of the world?’

Logan stopped, turned towards her and she met him glare for
glare.

‘Stay,’ she coaxed softly. ‘Argue your point. Engage with me in
debate.’

‘I’ve said all I have to say, Evie. I’ve made my position very
clear.’

‘You argued your point for all of thirty seconds. What’s the
matter, Logan? Scared that if you stay you’ll lose your temper?’

‘No.’ Logan shook his head, never mind the burning heat already
in his eyes.

‘I think that’s exactly what you’re scared of. What
does
happen when you lose your temper, Logan? What
happens when you finally let go?’

‘I don’t.’ Eyes like bruises and still he stared her down.

‘Scared you’re going to do what your daddy did and use your
fists to force obedience? Put me in hospital? Is that what you’re scared of? Is
that why you run?’

‘Evie—’ protested Max.

‘No,’ said Logan tightly. ‘Evie, no.’

But he’d taken her to hospital once and Evie now knew exactly
why he’d run. Tortured, this man of hers. He was still running. ‘All that anger.
All that pain. Wrap it up in a fist and call it an accident, but it never is—is
it, Logan? It can’t possibly be an accident if you’re involved. It’s in your
blood.’