Torn - Part 1: The Torn Series (4 page)

“That one doesn’t hurt, either.” he said, dropping the shirt back down. I peeled my eyes away and back up to his.

“I think you’re lying.” I sounded a little breathless to my own ears, but maybe he wouldn’t notice.

“This one does.” He tugged down the collar of his shirt, revealing an especially nasty bruise on his collarbone, so dark it was almost black.

“That one looks serious.” I touched it gently.

He rested his other hand on my bare knee as he spoke, warm and calloused, caressing my leg just enough to be distracting. “It’s pretty painful.”

“Do you want to put some ice on it?”

“I want you to put your lips on it.”

I blinked. Definitely not the response I was expecting. A blush spread across my cheeks and I looked away.

He tilted my chin back towards him with one finger. “Still want to make the ex jealous?” His voice was lower, now. Seductive. “I’ll bet you haven’t kissed anyone but him in a long time.”

I nodded slowly, not trusting my voice.

“He’s just another college boy. Why don’t you give a real man a try?”

My heart was pounding in my chest, but what girl could turn down an offer like that? Not me; not when surrounded by that arrogant, commanding presence. He wasn’t being a jerk, though - he wasn’t just jumping in and trying to maul me. Hell, he was trying to
taunt
me into doing what he wanted.

Shit.
It was working. I wanted to do it. I wanted to kiss him. “Okay.” The rest of the bar faded and blurred - all I saw was him, his laughing green eyes, his sexy little smirk.

He guided me to him with a hand against the back of my neck. I felt a flash of guilt as his mouth descended upon mine, but only a flash. It was dumb - I was single, at least for the moment. What could one kiss hurt?

He pressed his lips to mine, warm and firm. Immediately heat blossomed all around me. It was short, and sweet, but it left me wanting more.
So much more.
I clenched my hands at my sides.

His fingers curled at the back of my neck - he hadn’t let me go yet. He looked down into my eyes with a deeper hunger.

It mirrored my own. It wasn’t what was supposed to happen, but suddenly I found myself clutching the collar of his shirt as he kissed me again.

He tilted my head as his tongue dragged slowly across my bottom lip once, then again. He deepened the kiss with a quiet growl, and my own responding soft moan surprised me. He tasted so good. This was wrong. But it felt incredible.
I shouldn’t want him like this.
But little sparks of pleasure crackled through my veins as he slid his tongue against mine.
Oh God, I shouldn’t…I can’t…
I was sinking fast, losing myself in the sensations, the heat. I was dizzy with it.

I was tipping off of my stool.

He grabbed me before I could topple completely and laughed as my feet scrambled for purchase. I straightened my skirt as he set me down and hoped no one behind me had gotten the full view of my ass.

“I was right,” he said with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“About what?” I casually grabbed my beer as if I had intended on standing in the first place.
Real smooth.
I was blushing furiously and I tried to hide it behind my glass; I took a sip but it did nothing to cool me down.

“You like me.” He lifted his glass at me. “You want me.”

“I have to go home.” I shook my head. I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

He quirked an eyebrow. “With me?”

I
definitely
wasn’t ready for that. Okay, maybe my body responded to the suggestion, maybe I thought about it for just a moment, perhaps the thought made me shiver a little. But no, I wasn’t ready. “I couldn’t… I’m still with Tyler. Sort of. I think.”

“You’re not.”

“I will be. I can fix it.” I wished I sounded more sure than I did.

“Do you really want to?”

That made me pause. Sometimes I honestly didn’t know. I had flashes of certainty - we’d been together for so long already, made so many plans together. But I had long stretches of doubt. Tyler never would have stayed out this late, at a bar like this, and he certainly didn’t kiss me quite like that. Especially not in public where anyone could see.

“I have to try,” I finally said. “We were together all through college. That’s like, four years.”

He hitched a lazy shoulder and turned back to the bar.
Now I’ve done it, I’ve bored him half to death.
Was that disappointment on his face? He must have had hundreds of girls throwing themselves at him - what the heck was he bothering with me for anyway?

Whatever it was, he was over it quickly. “Let’s send you home a little drunker, at least,” he said, waving down the bartender. “If we’re sticking with the ‘make him jealous’ plan, that’ll definitely do it.”

I hopped back up on my stool. It was a better plan than any I’d come up with on my own so far. “Thanks for helping me,” I said.

He looked me up and down again. “Guess I’m a sucker for a short skirt.”

The plaid fabric was running up too high again. I tugged it down but by that point what did it matter.

Son of a bitch.

CHAPTER 3

Why?
That was the only thought in my head when I woke.
Why did I drink so much? Why did I stay out so late? Why do I deserve such a horrible hangover?

I needed a shower. And a bagel. I wished I could have both at the same time.

I opened my eyes and saw a pair of legs standing in from of me.
Oh, no. I didn't...
Peering up slowly, I found it was Tyler standing over me, mug of coffee in hand and scowl on his bearded face. "You were out late."

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "I was out early, depending on how you look at it." I was sleeping on the futon in the living room. Tyler got the bed in our break-up - it belonged to him to begin with and he paid a little more of the rent since he took the single bedroom in our tiny apartment.

"Who were you with? You look like trash." I hadn't changed out of my punk outfit, though I'd kicked my boots off... somewhere.

"I was playing a show, I told you. I thought you'd be there."

He sighed heavily. "And I told you I couldn't make it."

"But-"

"But nothing. Clean yourself up, I've got people coming over."

Girls, oh God.
His words stabbed at me. It was a real jump to that conclusion - he was working towards his master's, it was probably a study group - but that knowledge did nothing to assuage the dread in my gut.
He's found someone else. He loves someone else.

If he could read any of the jealousy on my face he gave no sign of it. He sighed once more like a disapproving parent and disappeared back into the kitchen.

Memories of the previous night returned to me. I hadn’t gotten so drunk that I forgot anything that happened - just enough that it was an effort to remember. Mallet had backed off after our kiss. I couldn’t believe that had even happened; it felt like a dream. And I couldn’t get it out of my head. Should I tell Tyler about it? Slide it into the conversation at some point? The whole idea had been to make him jealous.

I zombie-walked to the bathroom and got into the shower with my eyes closed. Mallet's kiss was still an echo on my lips. I didn't feel especially guilty, which in itself made me feel bad. I had to keep reminding myself that Tyler had dumped me. It was easy to forget. And just because I intended on getting him to take me back didn't mean I wasn't allowed a little fun in the meantime.

It wasn't like I went home with the guy.

Though a little part of me had wanted to.

Mallet was a total gentleman the rest of the evening - even a little distant. He made sure I got home safely, even walked me to my building even though it wasn't his stop.

"It would make him insane with jealousy if you invited me up," he'd said with a wink, but I think he knew as well as I did that it wasn't a good idea.

"Thanks for everything, really," I said, impulsively pulling him in for a quick hug. What can I say, I'm a drunk hugger.

"No worries," he said, smoothly extracting himself from my sloppy embrace. "I'll see you Saturday. Let me know how it goes with the ex."

I watched him leave feeling oddly disappointed. I wanted to kiss him again.

I was a mess.

○●○●○●○●○

I tried to feel out Jen for information at rehearsal the next evening. I had a shift right after - I was working at a bar not too far from my place, so I wouldn't be able to spend the night hanging out with them.

We rented a rehearsal space for as many practice sessions as we could - it looked almost like a classroom, complete with a chalkboard, and it wasn’t cheap. In theory I was supposed to chip in as a member of the band but they were cutting me a break until I’d played a few shows and made a little more money. I had almost no savings at the moment but I was trying.

"It was nice of Mallet to take me home," I said, eying Jen for a reaction.

She grinned. "He liked you."

I tried to hide the smile that spread across my face by looking down at my bass intently, tuning it by ear. "What did he say?"

"Aw, you're blushing!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands. "He said you were cute."

I scoffed.
Who cares about "cute?"

"And he said he wants to bone you."

"Oh, God," I said covering my face, and both Jen and Robin laughed.

"You totally should," Robin said, "He's pretty hot."

"He's the perfect rebound," Jen said. "Have a little fun while you get over Tyler."

"I don't want to rebound," I mumbled. "Did he say anything else?"

"No, that was all. 'She's cute. I want to bone her.' I told him he has my blessing as long as he doesn't fuck it up so bad that you quit the band."

I blushed again.
I guess that means they want me to play with them for a while.
I'd thought our Sunday show had gone well, but my definition of "well" could have been vastly different from theirs.

Practice breezed by too quickly. Even if punk pop covers weren't quite my thing, I loved playing and loved just being part of a band. I had to bite my tongue against all the questions about Mallet that came to me through the evening. I didn't want them to think I was interested. Hell, I didn't want to
be
interested.

But I was looking forward to seeing him again.

○●○●○●○●○

Saturday couldn’t come quickly enough. Tyler never displayed the jealousy I’d hoped to inspire, and if anything, things between us were deteriorating even further. He was barely speaking to me at all.

I’d been getting more and more fed up all week. I wanted to see what Mallet thought - the whole jealousy thing was his idea in the first place. Maybe he could come up with another plan.

Or maybe he’d want to kiss me again instead.

I wasn’t sure which outcome to hope for.

He was already at the bar when I arrived - it was a little place in the west village called Ace of Hearts. This time we’d be playing the main room instead of a basement, so that was an improvement. There was a chance people would hear us from the street and decide to come in for a listen.

I was wearing a different skirt this time - blue plaid instead of red. It was only marginally more modest, though. I’d gotten lazy about my promise to myself to let the hems out. My black corset-style top bared a bit more of my tits to the air, but that wasn’t on purpose. It was just what I happened to grab when I was getting dressed. If Mallet happened to like what he saw, well, I wouldn’t turn down a compliment but it wasn’t my plan to begin with. Honest.

I was too shy to approach him but I waved when he caught my eye. Jen and Robin sat at the bar and rearranged our setlist for the fifth time. I didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation but I leaned over and listened and tried to appear busy. Maybe Mallet would stay down on his end of the bar until we started our set. I needed more time to work up the nerve to talk to him.

He came over to me, though, striding through the room like he owned it.
Butterflies.
Wasn’t I supposed to be too cool for butterflies? I certainly wanted to be. But there they were, fluttering about in my stomach because a hot guy was headed in my direction. I felt like the biggest dork on the planet.

Jen and Robin giggled and took off with their drinks when they saw him approach.
Oh, come on, guys.

“Hey,” he said, leaning casually against the bar.

“Hey. You look better,” I said, gesturing at his cheek. The bruise on his face had faded to just a discoloration.

“Yeah. Should be in fighting condition again soon.” He ran a hand through his light brown hair. “Want to come watch a match tonight? Surly’s up against some guy from Jersey.”

I blinked with surprise. I was hoping maybe we’d grab a drink after the show - that it would sort of naturally happen, since we were in a bar already. I wasn’t expecting an invitation to go out anyplace else. “Oh. Is Jen going?” I cast my eyes around for her but she was nowhere to be seen. Probably helping Robin set up the drums since we were playing first that night. I should have been with them.