Unforgiven (Wanderers #3) (11 page)

I sighed and gently brushed my fingers over his face.
He rolled over on his side, facing me. I pushed a few strands away
from his eyes. He shivered and then blinked, opening his eyes. When
they found mine he instantly smiled. “You came back,” he
whispered.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Better now that you’re here. I thought I’d never see
you again.”

“Shh, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere,” I said,
gently caressing his face.

“You told me you had to leave and I wasn’t ready to
let you go,” he mumbled. He wasn’t making any sense. I just figured
it was the alcohol talking. “I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want
to lose you again.”

“Tristan, you are awake,” I said a little
worried.

“No. I’m dreaming and you look as beautiful as the
last time I saw you. Although, I must have had a few because this
outfit you’re wearing…” He looked me up and down, smiling. I fought
the urge to roll my eyes. “Normally when I dream of you I envision
you in white, but I guess I must have been, well…” He smiled his
cocky smile that I loved and missed. His eyes traveled down to my
breast, lingering.

I hit him. “Tristan, focus!”

“Hmm, I’m really starting to like this dream. You
have that whole dominatrix thing going on.”

This was going to be harder than I thought. “Okay
Tristan, look at me.”

“I can’t stop looking at you,” he smiled, licking his
lips.

I grabbed the sides of his face. “Tristan, really
look at me. Look into my eyes. You are not dreaming. I am real and
so are you. Please…believe me.” He scrunched his brows confused. I
was having a hard time getting through to him. I took his hand and
placed it on my cheek. He rubbed his thumb softly back and forth. I
closed my eyes melting under his touch. Then I slowly and
cautiously pressed my lips to his, applying the most tender
touch.

I pulled back and saw the slightest flash of
recognition in his eyes. He sat up and scooted back, shaking his
head. “No. It can’t be…you’re dead…he told me you were dead.”

“Jack lied,” I said softly. I reached out to touch
his hand and he flinched, pulling back. He looked scared.
“Tristan?” I slowly reached for his hand again. This time he didn’t
pull away. I clasped mine over his and gave a light squeeze. His
eyes traveled from our hands and up into my eyes.

I felt his body quiver and shake. He looked deep into
my eyes and then reached up and caressed my face, placing a piece
of hair behind my ear. “It’s you, it’s really you?” I nodded and
watched a single tear fall down his cheek. His hand slid behind my
neck and he pulled me in for a kiss, but I pulled away. “What is
it?” he asked concerned.

“I’m sorry but you taste like vomit and really
smell…bad.”

“Sorry I’ve been…” He dropped his hand.

“Drowning your sorrows in booze?”

“Something like that,” he said, bowing his head.

“Tristan, what happened?” He looked up at me. “That
night…I still myself don’t understand it. I saw you…you were…dead.”
Even though it wasn’t true it was still hard to say.

“I was,” he confirmed.

“But how?” I didn’t understand it. I felt his heart
stop. I saw him take his last breath, but there he was, alive, and
in front of me. A miracle dreams are made of.

“I died Ella, but it was you. You were the one who
brought me back.” I shook my head confused. “You have the power to
heal,” he smiled, putting the pieces together.

“Yes but…” I still couldn’t grasp it. It was almost
too impossible to believe.

“I don’t understand it either Ella, but I know it was
you who saved me.”

I needed to know more. I needed to know so I could
understand better. Most people wouldn’t question the why or how.
They would just care that their loved one is alive, but not me. I
had to know how it was all possible. “What happened after that?
What did Jack say to make you think I was dead?”

“When I woke up, I couldn’t understand how I was
alive. At first I didn’t think I was. I thought I was dreaming and
then Jack showed up. He told me you used what strength you had left
to heal me and it killed you, draining you of all your power. I
didn’t believe him at first so he showed me.”

“What do you mean he showed you, how?”

“Jack somehow has the power to show you things that
have already happened.” I looked at him confused. “With a simple
touch he can show you what he saw. It’s like getting into his head
without having to bite him. I saw you lying on my chest. You
weren’t moving.” He paused to take a moment as if it was too hard
for him to relive. I took his hand encouraging him to go on. “Then
I saw Gabe lift you up and take you away from me. You were slack in
his arms and you looked lifeless, dead,” he said, meeting my
eyes.

“That’s all the convincing it took for me to
disappear. I called my dad. He’s the only one who knew I was alive
besides Jack. I told him I wanted to fake my death so I could
disappear. He did it no questions asked.”

“I wish you hadn’t.”

“Ella, you have to know if I knew the truth I never
would have left.”

“I know. That doesn’t matter now. We were both
victims of Jack.”

“Jack,” he growled.

“Shh, let’s not think about him. I found you and
that’s all that matters.”

“How did you find me?”

“So much for not mentioning him anymore,” I
sighed.

“Wait, Jack told you? Voluntarily?”

“Not exactly, but I rather not get into it. It’s just
us now and that is what’s important.” He smiled and leaned in to
kiss me. I held up my hand. “I’m sorry but you’re kind of repulsive
at the moment,” I said, holding my breath.

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I could use a shower. I
still can’t believe you’re here. This isn’t a trick is it? I’m not
going to like, wake up in some puddle in a dark alley?”

“No Tristan, I’m really here,” I said, staring into
his beautiful blue eyes. “I still can’t believe I found you.” I
threw my arms around him. I didn’t care how bad he smelled. I just
wanted to hold him and never let go.

“I still don’t understand how all this is possible,
but I don’t care. As long as you’re here and real that’s all that
matters,” he said, squeezing me tighter. “I do have to ask though,
what is with the outfit? Not that I don’t mind if you’re trying out
a new look?”

“We have a lot to talk about,” I said, regretfully
letting go. “But first you really need to shower and brush your
teeth.”

“Okay,” he laughed.

“Do you need help?” I offered as he slowly swung his
legs off the bed.

“You want to give me a sponge bath?” he asked with
his cocky smile.

“No,” I said, narrowing my eyes. Clearly some things
haven’t changed. He tried to stand up but wobbled. I grabbed him
before he fell. “How about I fix you first?” He didn’t argue with
me. I wasn’t sure exactly where he was hurt so I just started from
the bottom and worked my way up. He had a goofy smile on his face.
“What?” I asked bashful.

“You’re amazing.”

“I think you should be okay now,” I said blushing.
Even after all this time Tristan had a way to make me blush.

He got up slowly, just as a precaution, and then
smiled. He walked over to the bathroom and then stopped. “I don’t
suppose you have some clean clothes I could change into?”

“I’ll go next door and ask Dean and Billy if they
have something you can wear.”

“Dean and Billy are here?”

“Yep, and Josie.”

“Josie? I thought…”

“We have a lot to talk about.”

“Right…You know, if you change your mind that offer
is still good?” I looked at him wondering, what offer? “To join me
in the shower,” he winked and smiled cockily. I just rolled my
eyes. I should have known better. “Hey Ella, promise me you’ll
still be here when I’m done.”

“Tristan, I promise I’m not going anywhere,” I
smiled. When I knew he was okay, I left for the boy’s room to see
if they had any clothes Tristan could borrow.

Before they could bombard me with questions I let
them know he was awake and fine and so was I. No cause for panic. I
told them that it did take some convincing that he wasn’t dreaming,
but once he hopped on the sane train, all was good. I asked the
boys if they had some clothes he could borrow once he was out of
the shower. Billy gave me a few t-shirts and sweats for Tristan to
wear in the mean time until we could get him more clothes. I also
let them know that they no longer needed to worry and can rest
comfortably tonight.

“So if we hear any screams we know he’s not killing
you,” Josie said with a smile. I pushed her back in the room and
closed the door.

When I got back I heard Tristan was still in the
shower so I quickly changed into some pajamas before he got out. I
forgot about my shoulder until I slipped on my shirt. I winced and
then tried to look in the mirror at the damage. “What is it?”
Tristan asked, coming out of the bathroom.

“I cut my shoulder on some glass back at the bar when
I…” I stopped when I saw he was standing there wearing only a
towel. His body was dripping wet and I couldn’t stop staring.

“When you?” he prompted me to finish.

“That’s not important.” My eyes traveled up and down
his body unable to look away, but thankfully he was too concerned
about my injury to notice.

“Come here,” he said, holding out his hand. He led me
over to the bed and gestured for me to have a seat. He sat behind
me and pressed his hand lightly to my shoulder. The heat sent
shivers down my spine. “Better?” he asked. Before I could answer he
started to trace his fingers along the tattoos on my shoulder.
“When did you get these?”

“Um, after I thought…” I trailed off not able to
finish the sentence. I sighed and leaned back into him. He wrapped
his arms around me and I melted into his embrace. Feeling
overwhelmed with everything I let myself go and began to cry.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He turned me around, forcing me
to face him.

“I’m sorry. I just thought I’d never see you again
and when Jack told me you were alive and here. There was always a
part of me that still held on to you. Hoping one day I’d see you
again. Oh Tristan so much has happened and I have so much to tell
you.” I threw my arms around him tight, needing his embrace.

“Shh my love, we have plenty of time for that,” he
said, gently stroking my hair. “Why don’t you order some room
service while I get dressed and then we can talk about everything
that happened?” I nodded even though I wasn’t really hungry. I
handed him the clothes from Billy and waited until he came out of
the bathroom. When he did, I decided I needed to tell him something
before I lost all nerve. Something I’ve been wanting to tell him
for a while, but never could.

“Tristan, there’s something I need to tell you that
can’t wait. Something I should have told you a long time ago, but
never had the courage to.”

“You’re not going to tell me you used to be a man,
are you?”

“Tristan, be serious,” I said and then paused when I
remembered Roman had made the same joke before. Seriously, nothing
about me was manly.

“Ella, what is it?”

I took a breath, looking into his beautiful blue
eyes. “Tristan, I love you.” The moment it left my lips it never
felt so right.

“I love you too,” he said nonchalantly, like it was
no big deal.

“No Tristan, you’re not listening to me. I…Love…You,
I love you,” I repeated as the tears started to spill down my
cheeks again.

He closed the distance between us, pausing just
inches from my face. “You know how long I’ve waited to hear you say
that,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “Please don’t toy
with me. Don’t say it because you think you want me to hear
it.”

“I’m sorry. I should have said it a long time ago,
but I was just too scared to admit it. I’m not lying. I mean it
with all my heart.”

He pulled back and started shaking his head. “No. You
don’t. This isn’t real. This is a dream. I know it is. This isn’t
real.” He just kept shaking his head back and forth. “Stop lying to
me, stop.” He clenched his fist against his head and started to hit
himself.

“Tristan, stop.” I tried to grab his hands, but he
quickly pulled away. “Tristan.” He looked like a crazy person. I
had no idea what happened. It was like a switch had flipped and he
was a completely different person. I took a step closer to him.
“Tristan, stop.”

“No!” he yelled and I froze. “I need to wake up. I
need to wake up.” He repeated over and over again smacking his
head.

“Tristan…you’re scaring me.”

“Why are you torturing me? You moved on. You told me
you had to go. Why come back and pretend to be real and make me
feel?” He pounded his chest. He turned and grabbed onto the
dresser, gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white. “I don’t
want to feel anymore. I can’t, I don’t…stop torturing me,” he
screamed and knocked everything off the dresser and flipped it over
on the floor.

I flinched and took a step back. He turned on me and
had a wild look in his eyes, dangerous. For a moment I was actually
afraid of him. Afraid he might attack me. His eyes bored into mine
and he was in front of me in a flash, gripping my arms tight.

“Ella!” Dean yelled from behind the door. I saw a
small flash in Tristan’s eyes. He closed his eyes and when he
opened them he let go of me and backed up. “Ella, open the door or
I’m busting it down!”

“It’s open.” Dean and Billy came charging into the
room, Josie not far behind. Cameron decided to keep her distance by
staying in the hall.

Dean instantly came rushing over to me. “Are you
hurt? What happened?” he demanded. I had a hard time keeping my
eyes off of Tristan long enough to answer. “Ella,” Dean shook
me.

Tristan let out a low growl and crouched down. Dean
pushed me behind him and stood in front of me protectively. “No,” I
said, trying to push Dean out of my way.