Watching Over You (9 page)

Charley smiled. ‘Of course it is. Sorry, I forgot that your flat has the same layout as mine.’

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ Ella asked, seeing Charley wince.

‘I’m fine, thanks. It only stings a little.’

‘Not as much as this one, I bet.’ Ella pulled her left sleeve up and held out her forearm. Still hurt by the reaction it got, she avoided Charley’s eyes as she took in the large patch of mismatched skin and scar tissue running from her wrist to her elbow.

‘Wow,’ said Charley. ‘That looks like it hurt a lot. How did you do it?’

‘I tripped into a bonfire when I was ten,’ Ella explained, giving a small titter. ‘I’m so bloody accident-prone.’

‘Makes me shudder just thinking of it. Did you have to have a skin graft?’

‘Three. It took ages to repair itself.’ Ella felt tears well in her eyes as she tried to shut out the memories. The hours in hospital, operation after operation to cover the open wound in new skin. It had hurt like hell and she’d had no one to soothe her, reassure her that it would be all right. No one to put their arms around her, hold her while she cried as she realised she would be disfigured for life.

Charley reached out a hand.

Instinctively, Ella moved her arm away but Charley placed it on her shoulder instead. Ella shuddered at her touch but more to do with desire than fear. She could still feel the weight of its presence as Charley moved it away.

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ said Charley. ‘I only meant to comfort you. I wasn’t going to touch it but I can see how you would think that. I’m such a touchy-feely person. I –’

‘It’s fine,’ Ella interrupted, looking up through watery eyes. ‘It just brings back a lot of painful memories.’

They stood in silence for a moment before Charley shooed Ella from the kitchen.

‘Why don’t you go and sit down in the living room,’ she told her. ‘I’ll dish out the food and bring it through.’

Ella turned quickly on her heel, heaving a sigh of relief.
Luckily
Charley hadn’t sussed her out when she’d reached for the first aid box. Even though she hated anyone seeing her scar, it was much better to use it to avoid any further awkward questions.

She didn’t want Charley to realise she’d been snooping around her place. Their friendship would be over before it started.

Chapter Ten

Charley came through with the food minutes later to see Ella sitting at the table with her back towards the window. Her eyes were clear and she was smiling again. Charley sat down across from her, handing her a large bowl.

‘Help yourself to Parmesan cheese,’ she said, passing a smaller dish to her after she’d poured wine. ‘There’s a lot more of it in the kitchen if you want extra. I mean, like a mound of the stuff. And more bolognese too. I always make too much. I might have to freeze some of it.’

‘It’s delicious,’ said Ella after her first mouthful.

They sat in silence as they tucked in.

‘So how did you meet Dan?’ Ella asked after a while. Then she made a face. ‘Sorry, I hope you don’t mind me being so
forward
, but it’s so lovely to see your face light up at the mention of his name.’

‘I don’t mind at all.’ Charley shook her head. ‘I – we met through work. We attended the same conference. It was one of those where you had to sit where you were told around tables, like you were at school, and mingle with strangers. Dan was sitting next to me and we were both moaning about it, having a giggle, and it went from there.’ She smiled then. ‘Actually, I knocked my drink of water over on the table and it soaked the crotch of his trousers. I was mortified!’

Ella laughed. ‘That was a great first impression to make. Please tell me you didn’t try to wipe it from his trousers.’

‘No! But it was so embarrassing. He had a wet patch for hours.’

Ella snorted them.

Charley smiled, recalling more memories of years gone by. ‘W
e wer
e so in tune with each other.’

‘So was it all perfect?’ Ella probed. ‘Not even the teeniest of arguments ever?’

‘Of course! We rowed like every other couple. I just think that the nature of what I dealt with on a daily basis made me realise how lucky I was. Or maybe we worked harder at it, I don’t know.
I don
’t think I’ll ever find anyone like him.’

‘No, you won’t. Nor do you need to. You’ll find someone else.’

‘It’s not that easy.’

‘Sure it is. You must meet men when you go out?’

‘I haven’t been out in a long while.’

‘You mean you haven’t been with anyone since Dan?’

Charley shook her head, her eyes dropping for a moment. Almost certain she would have forgotten the etiquette of dating, having been married for so long, the thought of finding someone suitable scared the hell out of her. For starters, trying to figure out compatibility would be an issue. She often heard about dates going wrong, men thinking the older the woman the more desperate they’d be, plus the men’s excess baggage to contend with. Then there’d be that awkward moment when she’d have to explain that she was a widow, and the first time she would sleep with someone who wouldn’t be Dan. Falling in love was definitely not on her radar for the foreseeable future. But still, she couldn’t help but feel lonely every now and then.

‘Not even a snog at a Christmas work do?’ Ella probed.

‘I’m not looking, if that’s what you mean,’ Charley tried to explain.

‘Oh dear.’

‘What?’

‘When you’re not looking, that’s when love comes looking for you.’

‘I doubt there’ll be much left to choose from now. Divorced fathers with weekend children or the weirdos who’ve never
married
and still live at home with their parents. Neither of those are my scene.’ She laughed nervously.

‘Oh, don’t worry about that. There’ll be plenty to choose from, for an attractive woman like you.’

Charley beamed at the compliment. ‘Maybe.’ She held up the nearly empty wine bottle. ‘I’m going to be a rebel and open another.’

Three hours later, Ella couldn’t help but smile as she made herself comfortable on a settee across from Charley. She was buzzing so much just by being around her that she knew she didn’t need any more to drink, but it wouldn’t hurt her plans to indulge Charley a little more. Having finished off the second bottle, they were now on to a half litre of Bacardi.

Ella leaned forward to top up Charley’s glass. ‘One for the road?’ She giggled at her own joke. Neither of them was going anywhere and she was very glad about that.

‘I am such a lightweight when it comes to booze,’ said Charley, raising her glass to her mouth and missing entirely. ‘That bottle has been open for ages. I topped out a couple of inches and then left it. I can’t believe how drunk I feel now, though.’

‘Hello,’ said Ella. ‘We’ve sunk two bottles of wine before that!’

Charley laughed as she wiped the liquid from her chin with the back of her hand. ‘I am so going to regret this in the morning.’

Ella sniggered but a smile never reached her lips. ‘The times I’ve heard that said.’

‘That sounds intriguing. Tell me more.’

‘My last partner used to go on and on about my high sex drive.’

‘No! I wish I had one at all!’

‘I bet most women wish they had one at times but often it’s hard for men to keep up. I mean, ask a man to screw you more than once every night and they soon get fed up.’

Charley’s eyes widened.

Ella grinned sheepishly, praying that Charley wasn’t put off too much by her outburst. She hoped instead that she’d want to hear more about her sex life. Then she could open up the conversation further. See where it led.

‘So how many men have you slept with?’ Charley asked
eventually
.

‘God, I don’t know.’ Ella pretended to be flippant about it. She slipped off her shoes and curled her feet up beside her. ‘Surely you don’t keep score?’

‘I don’t have a score to keep.’

Ella studied her in amazement. ‘Christ, you’ve never had a one-night stand, either, have you?’

Charley shook her head. ‘Nope.’

‘I thought everyone had had at least one.’

‘Not me. I often wonder if I missed out when I was younger, though. But then I met Dan.’

‘You haven’t slept
just
with him?’

‘No, there were a couple of others before we met. But –’

‘A couple of…’ Ella shook her head. ‘We need to get you laid, girl. You have some serious catching up to do.’

‘I wish it was that easy, Ella.’ Charley burst into tears. ‘I miss Dan so much at times. I miss the closeness, the way he made me feel protected. I miss the little things, like the cup of tea he’d bring me in the morning before he headed off to work; his smile as he’d come home of an evening. I even miss the arguing. I miss…I miss everything about him.’

Ella realised this was her moment to become indispensible when she saw Charley’s face crumple up again. She rushed to sit next to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Charley finally let go. Holding her as she cried, Ella soothed her with words of comfort, all the time enjoying the feel of her body close to hers.

It was a few minutes before Charley was calm enough to speak again.

‘I’m sorry,’ she smiled through her tears. ‘Blame the drink. I’m fine until I have one too many.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ said Ella. ‘Dan wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your life, though. He’d want you to move on.’

‘I – I know.’

‘Everyone needs someone to call their own. I wish I had a
partner
.’

‘I wish I had Dan,’ Charley sniffed.

‘You need to find someone else – in time, of course. But you have to get used to going out and standing on your own two feet.’

‘I’ve been doing that since he died.’

Ella paused. ‘I mean with another man.’

‘I can’t! I’d feel disloyal.’

‘That’s ridiculous. If Dan loved you as much as you say, he’d be pretty pissed that you were still moping after him. He sounded like he was a decent guy.’

Charley wiped at her tears. ‘You’re right, Ella. Maybe it would be okay to go out and have some fun.’

Ella gently wiped at Charley’s tears too. ‘And if anyone does come along, you could test the water.’

‘It – it’ll be hard.’

‘Falling in love with someone new will bring back painful memories, yes, but then you’ll be making new ones.’

Charley nodded.

‘No one has to be alone,’ Ella spoke again. ‘You’ll find happiness, once you stop grieving. When my parents died, it nearly destroyed me but I kept on going. Eventually you wake up one morning and you realise that there’s a whole world out there that you’ve forgotten. And when that moment comes, you realise that it’s time to step into it again.’

Charley smiled kindly. ‘I never had you down as a
philosopher, Ella.’

‘I just believe that sometimes we have to help ourselves so that we choose the right path.’

‘Has anyone ever told you that you talk a lot of sense when you’re drunk?’

Ella giggled. ‘I think I’ll start training to be a life coach.’

‘You should!’

She sat forward. ‘Hey, how about we go out for a night, you and me?’

‘I’m not sure. I –’

‘Go on. We can go into Hanley! It will be fun. Please! Please!’

As Ella pleaded with her, Charley gave in. ‘Okay.’ She nodded. ‘Why not?’

‘Great! We can do it next Saturday.’ Ella checked her watch and sighed. ‘I really should be going. We both have work tomorrow and it’s nearly midnight.’

‘Shit!’ Charley stood up with a wobble.

Ella caught hold of her arm as she stood up too. ‘Whoops,
better
get you to bed,’ she said.

Charley groaned. ‘I am going to be good for nothing in the morning. I shouldn’t get this drunk in the week!’

Back in her own flat, Ella re-opened the bottle of wine she’d started earlier and poured another large glass. Unable to keep still, she couldn’t stop grinning as she took it through to the living room, plonked it down on the coffee table, and flopped dramatically onto the settee.

The evening had gone far better than she’d anticipated. All that stuff with Charley! It hadn’t taken long for her to open up; the poor woman was still grieving after so long. Her emotion was so raw, so animal. It had been terrible to see her suffer like that, pouring her heart out and crying.

But it had left Ella with a job to do – a purpose even. Charley was suffering and it was up to her to help. She needed Ella – she must, because she’d told her all that stuff – and she wanted her friendship.

More to the point, Ella felt worthy. She laughed to herself, stamping her feet lightly on the cushion. She had a friend at last, someone she could turn to, maybe in her darkest moments too. And arranging to go out together the following weekend had been a bonus. She could see them now. They’d be drinking and chatting and dancing. Maybe they’d even do some flirting, get some guys interested, and have a laugh.

But first would be the shopping for new clothes and getting ready for the night out. She wondered if Charley would prefer to come upstairs and get ready here or if she’d be invited to join her downstairs again. She could imagine sitting on the edge of
Charley’s
bed, painting her nails while Charley applied her make-up. It was going to be such fun; if she could just keep Cassandra at bay, they could have a good evening. She doubted Charley would like Cassandra so much. Charley needed Ella; she didn’t need Cassandra.

Ella poured more wine as she wondered where they could go. Perhaps they would be better going into Newcastle rather than Hanley, though. She’d hate to bump into anyone who might give Charley the wrong impression.

Who are you trying to kid, you stupid bitch? She doesn’t n
eed yo
u.

The words popped into her head as quickly as the recent optimism, pummelling it down and dashing her hopes. She closed her eyes, begging to be left alone. She’d had a good night; didn’t fancy going out again. She wanted to sit at home and think of Charley. Charley was her new friend; she needed her.

She put down her glass and turned on some music. If she didn’t think too much, maybe she could ignore Cassandra. But the louder she turned the music up, the more Cassandra screamed in her ear.