In the Rain (10 page)

Deadlines
don't wait.
And the closer we got to August, the
more Thayre would start searching for someone else. No matter what I decided, I
could only pick
one.

*
* * * *

F
or
the next week, Thayre and I spoke mostly through texts. Between my crazy hours
at work and his long rehearsals, it was hard to plan for much of anything else.
He'd sent me one or two short snips of what the crew was working on, and it
turned out to be the worst torture imaginable. Not only was
the melody catching, but I wanted to watch them play. Hell, I wanted to hear
the entire song.

So
the following Thursday, once I'd finished with work and Thayre assured me he'd
be home for the evening, I headed for his place. I didn't bother getting
changed. No doubt our clothes would end up on the floor anyway.

Knowing
he had the same habits he did in high school, I grabbed some takeout from Max's
along the way.

Hope
you're hungry,
I texted him before pulling out of the
drive through and into traffic.

You're
a saint. I'll be in the basement, so let
yourself in,
his text replied one stoplight later.

When
I reached his driveway, there was another car parked in front of the garage, so
I left my car on the street. The plates belonged to someone who lived in Pennsylvania
and supported the Nittany Lions if the blue paws on the bumper were any
indication.

I
shrugged, and per Thayre's request, let myself in. As soon as I opened the
door, I didn't have to ask where he was. Something played softly in the
distance. A cello accompanied by a violin. Whoever he was playing with, they
were really good. Better than good. Professional.
Better than me.

Whoever
belonged to the violin should've been the one Thayre had offered the job to.
Not me. I was nowhere near qualified, which became more apparent the longer I
stood there listening to them play. I couldn't bring myself to interrupt a song
that was
in progress, so I waited.

I
sat on the sofa and set Thayre's dinner on the coffee table. It was hard to
imagine that,
less than two weeks ago, I'd sat here for the first time. And while I'd been
here twice, including tonight, it already felt familiar. Comforting.

The
music stopped, and a deep voice filled the void. It was Thayre's voice soon
followed by a feminine one. The music started up moments later, picking up
right where they'd left off.
Thayre must've corrected her.
Knowing that,
she was still a lot better than me.

Ten
minutes passed as they played and replayed the same set, and when they finally
stopped, I was lost somewhere in the melody. Footsteps came from down the hall,
soon followed by Thayre's smile as he turned the corner.

"Moyra."
I stood as he hugged his arms around me. Then, once we parted, he asked, "When
did you get here? You could've joined us."

"Us?"
I craned my neck, searching for the woman I'd heard earlier.

A
petite blonde appeared behind him moments later, but unlike Thayre, her smile didn't
reach her eyes.

"Moyra,
this is Tabitha. Tabby, this is Moyra, an old friend of mine."

I
held out my hand and smiled when she shook it. "Pleasure to meet you,
Tabitha."

"Tabby,
if you don't mind," she corrected me, standing beside Thayre once our
introductions were out of the way.

"That
sounded beautiful," I said, looking between them. "You play the
violin, Tabby?"

"Who,
me?" She shook her head. "Heavens no." Then, straightening her
posture, she added, "The cello is my preferred weapon."

"Then
the violin was—"

"Me,"
Thayre chimed in, seemingly amused. "I told you before, Moyra, I'm filling
in the blanks until I can find someone to do it for me."

"Meaning
me." It wasn't a question. He'd said as much before. "But I sound
nothing like that."

"I
beg to differ." He turned to Tabby then, hugging her the same way he'd done
to me. "Think you can practice what we went over until we meet on
Saturday?"

She
looked at her hands as if they could offer an answer. "I can try."

"Well
remember, if you get stuck, you can call me anytime. I have an open block tomorrow
afternoon, should you need it."

She
nodded. "Thanks, Thayre. It was nice to meet you, Moyra."

"You
as well," I said, watching her after she'd stepped outside and into her
car. "Jesus, Thayre, Tabby doesn't look older than twenty."

"They
start younger every year," he said, coming up behind me to kiss the back
of my ear. "She started playing with us last fall, and she's grown a lot
since then."

"And
she's part of Transcendence?" I asked, turning to face him.

"Not
yet, no. By August though, so long as she keeps this up, she will be."

"I
thought you were only missing
a first violinist."

"I
am for now, but a lot of our players switch out all the time. Some play with us
for a bit to put on their resume or college applications. There are a handful
who have stayed with Transcendence since we started up a few years ago."

"You
weren't kidding when you said it was hard to find good musicians in the area,
then."

"Far
from it actually. I wish it were easier, but most of the applicants we get are
too young, too inexperienced, or don't want to work hard for their pay. I don't
know about you, but I gave up on drama once I got out of high school."

"And
yet you have a fresh graduate playing for you."

"Fortunately
for us, not all of the kids fresh out of school are that bad.
We got lucky with Tabby. She'd actually seen us play a year or two ago, back
when all we played were local events. Didn't have the money to do much else.
But once she came to see us perform, she sent in an application shortly after that."

"And
she got in?"

"Not
at first, no. We rejected her first sample as she didn't diversify her music
enough. But then she applied again last summer, and we're glad she did. She's
grown a lot since she first applied."

I
dropped my gaze and focused on my feet. "Would I need to apply?"

Thayre
set a hand under my chin, gently lifting my gaze so we could see eye-to-eye. "Does
this mean you've considered my offer?"

"I've
thought about it, but I can't say I've decided yet. Especially now since I've
heard you play."

He
took my hands in his and smiled. "Moyra, you are that good,
you just can't
see it yet. But I understand your apprehension. This is a big move, and a huge
favor for me to ask of you, but it wouldn't be one-sided—I hope."

"Trust
me, getting an offer like this
is unbelievable. But I can't help thinking I'm pulling the rug out from under
someone else's feet."

He
tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, but didn't remove his hand. "And
I told you before, I have no one nearly qualified enough for the part."

"Except
you."

He
released a breath. "Yes, but unless I want someone else conducting my
music and, more than likely, making a mess of it, I could really use your help.
If not for the long-term, at least until after we play at Webster this fall.
Everyone's so excited about it, but I'm afraid we won't be ready unless I can
find someone fast—preferably someone who knows a thing or two about music."

I
winced. "Let me guess, you've had applicants for this exact position."

"I
have, but they're all playing at a beginner's level. Even if I had years to
train them, they wouldn't be half as ready as I need them to be. We don't have enough
time." He arced his thumb along my cheek. "But that isn't the only reason
I'm asking you to do this for me. If you're the girl I remember from school,
you won't walk away from this. Not now, and not after Webster. And trust me,
getting a first violinist who sticks around would make my job worlds easier."

I
forced a smile and, as much as I didn't want to mix personal and professional,
I leaned into his caress like a
cat seeking the warmth of her owner's hand. "No pressure, right?"

"We'll
take it one day at a time. How about we do this—you don't have work on
Saturday, do you?"

"Not
so long as Jay keeps to the schedule."

"Well,
keep your cell off. Come and watch us practice. Then, if you still want out,
I'll stop asking."

"And
if I want in?"

"We'll
go from there." He pressed his forehead to mine. "As for tonight, I
have a few things in mind."

"Have
you at least managed to sleep recently?"

He
lifted his shoulder in a partial shrug. "Fifteen minutes earlier this
morning maybe? More than enough for me."

"Not
if you plan on pulling another all-nighter."

"Oh,
honey, you obviously don't know me as well as you think you do."

"You
might want to fix that."
I nodded to the bag on his coffee table. "After you eat."

"Pfft,
eating can wait. That's what they invented microwaves for."

"Well,
when you put it that way—"

Any
snarky remark I may have had didn't make it past my lips. Thayre pressed a hand
against the small of my back and drew me to him, making sure I felt his
erection before crushing his lips to mine. I tried to take a breath, but his
hold on me threatened stole the very life from my lungs.

I
closed my eyes and was vaguely aware of us moving toward the stairs before
opening them again.

Somehow,
I found my breath, and with it, my voice. "Wait."

Thayre
paused, keeping one hand on the railing. "You okay?"

No,
this isn't right. We shouldn't rush things.
"Yes.
Maybe...no."

He
frowned, and guilt settled in my stomach when the flicker of a smile faded from
his lips. "What's wrong?"

I
could almost hear
him say,
"You were fine with this the other night,"
but the
words in my head didn't belong to Thayre. It's something Bret would've said.
Not Thayre.

"Moyra?"
He set a hand on my shoulder, but didn't press me. "Maybe we should stay
down here for the night."

"I..."
That's what you want, isn't it?
Hell, I didn't know. What I really
wanted was to keep my life as simple as possible, which didn't include a new
job, a new relationship or both at the same time. "I'm sorry. This will
probably sound stupid but—"

"Try
me." He stepped off the stairwell, and as he did, I realized how much
taller he was. Granted I still had my flats on, but even without
shoes, he was close to a foot taller than me. "Is it too much at once?"

Maybe?
"I..."
I wet my lips. What was I supposed to say? "
So, I noticed you were
assertive the other night and...I was wondering if you might be a Dom?"

"Depends
who's asking," Thayre said, and it was then I realized I'd given myself
diarrhea of the mouth.

"Oh
God, I didn't mean—Thayre, I am so sorry. It's just,
I...when we—"

"Moyra,"
he said, his voice wavering the slightest bit. "Perhaps this would be
easier if we sat down."

It
wasn't up for discussion. Our dance toward what could've been another amazing
night of sex had done a complete one-eighty, no thanks to my big mouth.

He
gestured toward the sofa, and, after taking a breath, I joined him. He sat on
one end, and I took a seat on the other, keeping a cushion between us. Sitting
beside him right now may have pushed us back toward the stairs, but we needed
to talk about this. About us. My submission.

It
was out in the open now—a caged animal I'd let loose without a leash to reel it
back in. And the longer the silence lingered, the more I thought this conversation
was a very bad idea. Yes, I had planned on asking him eventually, but that was
after I gave him my decision on the job as his first violinist.
May as well
kiss that career goodbye.

"So,
would you like to
start? Or should I?" Thayre asked, looking directly at me.

"This
is crazy. I mean," I exhaled, "talk about complicated."

He
smiled. "Complicated pretty much sums up my life. Lets me know I'm still
alive."

"By
fighting with yourself every day?"

"Who says I'm fighting?"

I looked at my lap. " But it's
two different lives. How can you balance something like that?
I'm sorry. I'm just having
a hard time wrapping my head around this."

"Moyra,
this doesn't change anything. For me, you or whatever we have going on between
us."

"But
it does." I met his gaze, but I couldn't return his supportive smile. "God,
I've been fighting that part
of myself since my ex, and I thought I had it under control until—"

"The
other night." He nodded his understanding. "It's one thing for a
vanilla couple to experiment with kink, but something else entirely when it
comes to our lifestyle and trying to be something we aren't."

"You
sound like you're
talking from experience."

"Maybe
I am, but you obviously are. Listen, I'm not going to pry, but at least now I
understand why you were hesitant the other night. We have a good thing here, our
friendship. You're probably thinking there's no way we can build a new
relationship, professional or otherwise, without screwing up what we already
have. Am I right?"

"Pretty
much."

He
reached across the middle cushion and squeezed my hands. "And you think
you're the only one
with those fears?" He drew in a deep breath, and when his gaze met mine
again, his expression softened. "If there's one thing fear has taught me,
it's that the
cause is usually worth it. I was scared to death when I started conducting, but
I did it anyway because it gave me that rush. These days, I couldn't be a
violinist, even if
my life depended on it. I've come too far. Lived this life too long. Same thing
goes for being a
Dom, or for your being a sub. Try and hide it all you like,
but even if you keep the truth from everyone else, it will always be there."