Cowboy Desires: The Complete Collection (13 page)

My heart stopped. I tried to cry out, but nothing happened. They were pushing a crash cart in and calling out medical terms I didn’t understand. I tried to get in, but one of the nurses gently pushed me back and told me to wait in the hall.

What the hell was going on? Was Mason in there dying? I would never get a chance to tell him again that I loved him more than anyone else. That he was the only man who would ever have my heart. I would never get to tell him that I finally forgave him. He was going to pass away without me ever getting to look into his blue eyes again.

I slumped into a chair and sobbed for everything I was losing in that moment. He was the father of my child. He was my first in so many ways. He was a man with faults, but his heart outshone them all. He walked away from me, but his heart wouldn’t let him stay gone. And I didn’t want him gone ever again.

I felt so helpless as I kept hearing them say, “Clear” over and over. Then I heard the all-telling beep of the end of someone’s life. I heard someone declare the time of death. I felt a part of me slip away with those words. I started to shake with an absolute sense of loss that only comes with the realization that your soul mate will never again be at your side.

That’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

They were the words of an angel because they could have only been spoken by the love of my life. I looked up with tear-filled eyes to find Mason standing next to me dressed in a hospital gown and pulling an IV cart.

“M-Mason?! What’s going on? You were just in there! You’re gone!”

“What are you talking about? I’m just up for a walk. The doctor said I have to get my butt moving to help me heal.”

“But this was your room. They brought a crash cart in and someone is dead. I thought it was you! I thought you were gone!”

I slapped him hard on the arm and he winced.

“Hey, I was just in an accident! Try not to hurt me again, girl! They just moved me to a different room earlier today.”

He was laughing, and it made me laugh, too. I was crying and laughing, and then I was holding him in my arms. And I was squeezing him. And I was making sure he was really there. And he was. He was real. He was alive.

“I love you so much, Mason. I can’t imagine my life without you. It took me forever and a day to get here, but after thinking I lost you three times now, I’m not letting you go. I’m done living in the past and ready to take on the future. Please say you’ll still have me.”

Just then, our moment was broken by a body with a sheet over it being rolled out. I said a little prayer for whoever that poor soul was and thanked God again that it hadn’t been Mason. He explained that they had moved him to the less critical rooms at the end of the hall that were farther away from the nurses’ station. I took it as a sign from God. Maybe someone wanted me to see that I couldn’t live without him.

Mason took me by the hand and led me back down to his room. He was tired from all the commotion, so he got in bed, and I settled in next to him. He hadn’t said much since I told him I chose him.

“I want you too. You already know that. I screwed up. Probably worse than most other guys ever have. I love you more than anything in this whole world, and I want to spend every day loving you and making it up to you. But I have to ask you something. Did you know that you wanted me before you thought I was gone?”

I took a minute to collect myself as I thought about my overwhelming sense of loss in the hallway. I also thought about how violated I still felt by Austin. I knew I had to be completely honest with Mason if we were going to move forward with a clean slate.

“Today I found out that Austin has had a fiancée this whole time. He was taking advantage of my heartbreak and using me. He pretended to care, but all he wanted was a piece of ass. Jamie saw him with his other woman at the gas station today, and I saw him at the park a few days ago. I should have known. I’m so sorry I ever gave him the time of day. He would have never been you, Mason.”

“I knew he was a jerk. I could kill him for ever touching you. For ever knowing your body like I do and thinking he could love you half as much as me.”

“He never knew my body like you. I thought of you every time I was with him. I compared him to you at every step. I should have seen right through him, baby. I should have taken a step back and realized that I was using him, too. I needed someone to distract me and ease the pain. But now my heart is healed because I have you back.”

“Oh, Jamie. You didn’t know it, but you never lost me. I cried myself to sleep almost every night, both when I was gone and since I came back. I held onto your picture and begged and prayed to have one more chance. I knew I would never screw it up again. I love you so much. I want to be together.”

Our hands were joined; our fingers laced together tightly. Our eyes were locked, and I could see the tears pooling amidst the deep blue. I moved toward him and kissed his mouth, trying to be gentle but wanting to make it last. He still gave me butterflies every time he was near me.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You made me believe in second chances, Mason. All I want to do is help you get better so you can come home. With me. I want you to move in.”

“Absolutely, baby. I never want to sleep without you again.”

I spent the next few hours in his hospital bed until the nurses gave him something to help with the pain and get him to sleep. I kissed him softly as he was drifting off and promised to be back the next day.

After an unsettled night’s sleep, I woke up to a text from Austin asking me to meet him for breakfast at a local diner. He said he missed me and couldn’t stop thinking about me. It really pissed me off, but I needed to see him to tell him exactly how I felt. I sent him back a sweet text telling him I couldn’t wait to see him.

I got dressed in one of my prettiest summer dresses and some black flip-flops. I put my hair up with some pretty pins and put on some simple makeup. Knowing I looked good, I headed to the diner.

I could see Austin’s truck in the parking lot when I got there. My stomach was hurting from the nerves, but I knew I had to confront him.

I made my way inside, and I saw him sitting at a booth toward the back. He got up when he spotted me and headed my way. I put on my best smile and hugged him back when he put his arms around me. I didn’t want to make a scene and disrupt everyone else’s breakfast.

We settled into the booth, and I ordered a coffee and some eggs and toast. We made small talk until the food came. He told me he had been really busy with work, and that the dry wall business was on fire that summer. I wanted to slap the smile right off his face, but I held myself back.

When we were both just about done eating, I decided it was time to call him out. I took a deep breath and started to question him.

“So, Erin said she saw you at the store yesterday.”

“Oh, really? I didn’t see her. I just stopped to get some gas.”

“Just you, huh? That’s not what I heard.”

I could see him start to fidget in his seat and sweat form at his brow.

“What exactly did you hear?”

“I heard that your fiancée came in to pay for gas. I heard she had a big diamond rock on her finger. I also heard that when she came back out, you grabbed her and kissed her like no one was watching. Like you were madly in love. You’re found out, Austin. Stop lying to me now. I know you’ve been engaged to her this whole time. I’m so fucking pissed that you used me!”

“No, you don’t understand. I didn’t mean to! I was just going to help you that one day, but I couldn’t get you out of my head. I love Andrea, but I am falling for you, too. I can’t help it. I’m sorry you found out this way, but I do still care about you. I just can’t leave Andrea yet.”

“Well, I’m not an option for you anymore. You should go back to Andrea and be a family. Stop being a cheater and an asshole. Give that little boy the life he deserves. Be the man that you claim to be. I’m going back to Mason. He may have messed up royally, but I believe in second chances, for him. He is it for me. I want to start my family with him.”

“I think you have it all wrong. I’m not the guy you think I am.”

“Save it, Austin. Take my advice. And please don’t try to contact me again. We’re done. Have a good life.”

He started to say something else, but I left some money on the table and walked straight to my car without looking back. That was a chapter in my life I never wanted to open again.

Mason stayed in the hospital for another week, and I was there with him every step of the way. I gathered all of his stuff up from his parents’ house and had Erin, Dave, and Laney helped me move it all into my place. Everyone knew my secret at this point, and my sisters both had time to make their peace with him. They knew that once I decided he was it for me, I wasn’t going back.

His road to recovery was another six weeks long, but then he was as good as new. He got a job as the manager of a local restaurant and bar. He also helped me come up with plenty of new material for my stories while we made up for our year and a half apart. He made me feel special every day by leaving me notes, bringing me flowers, and just supporting me in every way.

One night, he took me to the Italian restaurant where we had our first date. It had been a favorite of ours in the past, but I hadn’t been able to stand the sight of it while he was gone. It felt good to be sitting there having a glass of wine while he sipped his beer. We both had their famous lasagna, and held hands and smiled. It was so easy now, and I was so grateful.

As we were sharing a piece of cheesecake for dessert, he got a serious look on his face.

“Jamie, I need to talk to you about something.”

My heart clenched, and I immediately felt worried. Was something wrong? Was he ready to run again?

“What is it, babe?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking. See, I have this beautiful girl in my life who took me back into her heart after I broke it. She’s the mother of my little girl. She’s my world. She heals me when I’m sick and beaten down by the world. She believes in me when no one else does. She makes me laugh and smile. And forget about what she does to me in the bedroom. I’ve decided that I can’t risk losing her, and I need to make her mine for good.”

I went to say something, but he stopped me.

“See, that girl is you, Jamie. You are everything and more to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

I started crying as he pulled a ring out of his pocket and got down on one knee. Who knew Mason Phillips was such a romantic?

The ring was a single, princess cut diamond on a platinum band, and it took my breath away. I must have been nodding yes because he slipped it on my finger.

“Yes, baby. Absolutely yes. Make me your wife and then we can start trying all of this again. I won’t be happy till we have someone to call us Mommy and Daddy.”

He stood up and kissed me, and I knew, right then, that I was finally home.

The End

*****

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