Awakening the Wolf (3 page)

“It’s great, Dad.”

“I saw you speaking to Lelana. What did you want to talk to the leader of the flock for?”

Belik cringed because he knew what his father was going to say when he told him the truth. “I was hoping to introduce myself to Illiana. She was at the ceremony with me.”

His father gritted his teeth. “Yes, I saw her along with the others who were being welcomed. You know my feelings about her. Lelana is our leader, and I respect her, but Illiana is not natural. She’s not one of us. She looks different, and the things she can do are not natural.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Father. She’s beautiful. Why can’t one of the flock look different? It doesn’t mean she’s some kind of a monster, and her abilities are mind-blowing. Why does everyone think that being different is so bad?”

“Son, it’s not the point that she looks different than the rest of us. Illiana can do things the rest of us can’t. She frolics with the wolves and . . . I wish you wouldn’t bother with her.”

Belik threw down the rice cake. “You can’t tell me anymore what I can and can’t do.”

“This might be true, but you still live under my roof. If you truly wish to be independent and make your own choices, then you need to get your own aerie.”

What his father had said was true. If he truly wished to be on his own, he needed his own nest. Belik could room with the bachelors in the flock as there was an aerie for them, but he did not enjoy their rambunctious lifestyle. The next thing he was expected to do was pick his profession. His father surmised he would follow in his footsteps and enter the priesthood. Belik assumed he might go into the trade his mother had been in before she died. His mother had woven beautiful things. Her cloth had been prized among the flock. He still had some of things so that he would remember her by. He was good on the loom, and it helped calm his nerves whenever he was angry or frustrated with his father.

“I might live under you roof for now, but that will soon change.” Belik walked into the crowd still gathered on the platform. It was easy for him to disappear. The raven inside of him cawed and rustled its wings, hoping to be free of the flesh it was trapped in. He agreed with it and felt the need to be gliding along the air currents until he could chase his troubles away. He hoped that when he got back, Illiana would have returned and then he could finally speak to her.

Illiana landed catlike on the ground and rushed into Christopher’s waiting arms. He pulled her into a strong bear hug before letting her down. A giggle slipped from her lips, and all her trepidations from earlier fell away. None of it mattered anymore. She was with her best friend, and whenever that happened, her life among the trees disappeared. All seemed right in the world with him, and another part of Illiana was satisfied to be on the ground and not flying through the air. Illiana also felt at home among the wolves and their territory.

“I see you made it through without harm?” Christopher smiled.

She twirled around, showing him that she had survived. Christopher caught her arm and pulled her close. Illiana bumped into his chest and pulled in a deep breath. She stared into his blue-gray eyes and found herself melting the longer she peered into them. Her legs went wobbly, and her breath got short. All she could focus on was the rapid beating of her heart and how warm his body felt against hers. It stirred her deepest yearnings, and she fought those desires with all her might. Christopher was her friend and nothing more, but he certainly brought up all of her buried emotions. Each time she saw him, it was harder and harder to keep those feelings concealed. His grin widened, and he laughed before releasing her. She felt her cheeks burn and focused on smoothing her dress.

“Yes, I made it. All is well.”

“I can see that.” He traced the brand on her left breast.

Illiana sucked in a quick breath and looked down at his hand. A rush of pleasure shot through her and caused her nipples to harden. Her insides quivered. All she could think of was how smooth his finger was trailing over the mark. How cool his skin felt over the burn. How much everything he was doing was turning her on.

“Chris, why . . . what are you?” Illiana asked.

Christopher looked up at her, and she could see the scruff of his beard and smell the musk of his scent, mixed with the pine of the forest. He was tan from spending so much time in the sun. Her friend was no longer the boy she had covered up when he lost his mother. He was a man now, a full member of his pack, with a flat chest and muscled arms. His shirt was half-open, revealing a hairless chest, and he towered over her by a foot and a half. Christopher was everything the ravens were not. He was taller, broader, and enjoyed hunting. Most ravens thought themselves to be above hunting, not giving in to their animal natures. That was another argument her mother had with her. Illiana had no problem with giving into the animal that was in all of them. Hunting was a natural thing for her. There were times when she and Christopher would hunt in tandem, she taking to the air and him on the ground, each sharing the spoils of the kill. The idea of blood made her inner animal growl. She wondered if there was something inside of her that was different from the others.

Christopher leaned in closer to her until their lips were inches from one another. Illiana kept her eyes trained on him, but they closed of their own accord. She held her breath and waited for their mouths to connect. His breath blasted against her lips. They were so close she could anticipate what it would feel like to actually kiss him. After a couple of heartbeats she opened her eyes. He was frozen, still inches from her.

“What are you doing?” a female voice broke Illiana from her stupor. She knew the voice well.

Christopher blinked and backed away a step. He shook his head, and the friend she knew retreated behind the facade he put up when he was around others of his pack. “Jalisa, how lovely to see you.”

The other wolf wore a loose black top that showed off her ample cleavage. She slung her arm around Christopher’s waist and snuggled up against him. Illiana forced a smile. Her brown hair was streaked through with red, and golden eyes stared out from under brown lashes. She was shorter than Illiana but more muscled. A sneer adorned her lips, and through a hateful gaze, she stared right at Illiana.

“I wanted to see where my wolfie had disappeared to. I thought we had plans to hunt tonight?” Jalisa grabbed Christopher’s chin and planted her mouth on his, drawing him into a very long and wet kiss. A cold chill swept through Illiana. The redness of pure anger and hatred tinged her vision. She curled her hands into fists and bit her lip as she watched the display. Christopher returned the kiss with the same fervor, but Illiana caught Jalisa’s gaze and witnessed the amusement in her eyes. The she-wolf knew how much it hurt to see them together.

Besides the fury that Illiana felt, hurt stabbed at her soul and tore it into shreds. All she had ever wanted was to be with Christopher. Ever since they were teenagers and he had stood up for her against the bullies from both the raven flock and the wolf pack, she had had a crush on him. Although she tried to quell the love in her heart, it always got the better of her. Illiana had to remind herself it was not a match that could ever happen. She was a raven. He was a wolf. They might be friends, but they could never be mates. No matter how much she loved him. No matter how much it felt right that they should be together. It went against all the laws and customs the ravens and the wolves had. So she settled on the next best thing. She remained his friend. Illiana endured seeing him with Jalisa, the bitch who had her eyes set on being queen wolf because she had claws in Christopher. Jalisa assumed they would be mated. If that ever happened, Illiana was not sure what she would do.

Hot tears slid down her cheeks, and she turned from the display because Jalisa ran her hands over Christopher’s chest, feeling him, marking her territory. Illiana sniffled and tried to hold in the wrath, hurt, and disgust she felt watching him return the affection. It was no use. Her heightened emotions called to that shadowed part of her. All the time she spent suppressing that piece of her personality, all the time she rationalized it was not something to give into, was falling away. The control she had was slipping. Illiana welcomed it. She clenched her hands and realized she was shaking, but she was more centered on seeing what was within the dark confines of her mind. It was different from her raven form. It called out for blood.

“Jalisa, get off. I told you I wanted to be alone tonight.”

“Being alone with this piece of bird trash makes me wonder what your relationship truly is. You do know that the bird brain lusts after you.” Jalisa chuckled.

“Get lost. We’ll talk about this later,” Christopher growled.

“You want to be alone with it, then I’ll grant your wish.” Jalisa strolled back into the forest.

Illiana wiped the tears from her eyes, but she was used to the harsh words. She felt a hand on her shoulder. The familiar touch helped to anchor her.

“I’m sorry about that. She didn’t mean it.”

She turned and studied his face. “Yes, she did. And she’s right. Come on, Chris, you have to know how I feel for you. Don’t tell me that you don’t reciprocate those feelings?”

Her friend sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. When he glanced at her, his eyes said it all. He had feelings for her; she could see the fight in him. The heat that erupted between them earlier lingered, and it took that bitch to put a damper on it. “We’re friends. We can’t be anything other than that. Ravens and wolves can’t have relationships. It would never work.
We
would never work.”

She nodded. “I know that. It’s been pounded into my head since I was a child. You’ve always been my friend, sticking up for me when no one else would, not even in my flock. I’ve tried not to feel this way about you. But I—”

Before she could finish that sentence, Christopher grabbed Illiana and pulled her into him. He captured her lips and swallowed the rest of her words. She stiffened from the sudden action, but melted into his embrace a moment later. This was where she was meant to be. This was home for her. Every fiber of her being knew it. His lips were insistent. Christopher kissed her with a fervor as though he were a man taking in his last breath and stealing it from her. She would willingly give it over it him. If she died in his arms, all would have been right in her world. Time stopped. All thoughts ceased, and she was in the moment of kissing him, of tasting the lips she had dreamed about for years. Then it all ceased, and she was forced back to reality.

Christopher stepped away, breathing hard. His neck was red. His eyes blazed gold because his wolf was close to the surface. She stepped toward him, but he put up a hand. “We can’t do this! It’s not right.”

“We can make this work. You can’t deny you have feelings for me. Christopher, I—”

“Don’t say it, Illiana.”

“Why? Because then it becomes real and something you have to admit to yourself?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. This thing between us, my father always warned me to be cautious. I should’ve listened. I never should have let this go on so long. Jalisa was right. You lust after me because you can’t have anyone else in your flock. Why didn’t I see it before? I’ve been so blind.”

Illiana did not want to believe what she was hearing. “What are you saying?” She forced out the words.

Christopher took a deep breath and collected himself. His face went blank, and his eyes returned to normal. It seemed he barely even saw her, that he was staring right through her the way so many had done throughout her life. He touched her face and cupped her cheek. She tried not to get her hopes up. Maybe he was coming to his senses. “Whatever this farce was between us is over. You need to fly away and never come down here again. We can’t see one another anymore. It will only make this worse. Do you understand?”

Tears slipped down her cheeks again, and she could not stop them.
He can’t mean it.
“No! We’re friends.”

He backed away from her. “Not anymore. I don’t know how I could’ve been friends with such a thing as you. Even your flock doesn’t want you. Oh, they might have branded you as one of their own, but you’ll never be one of them.”

Each word stung her. Illiana tried to process what had happened. The wind whipped around her, urging her to lift into its currents and wing away, but she slipped to the ground after losing all sense of balance. It was difficult for her to draw breath. Christopher was the only one who had never treated her differently. Now he was turning his back on her. She covered her face and tried to catch her breath. It did not help. It seemed her heart had been torn from her chest by strong jaws, and yet she could not feel the pain. Within the shadowed part of her mind, the otherness stirred. It told her to run. At first, Illiana tried not to listen to it, but it became stronger and stronger until she caved.

A forlorn cry parted her lips, and she dashed through the woods, not paying attention to where she was going, just running, trying to escape the world that had become a blur around her. Soon Illiana ran faster than she had before. It felt good to give into the shadowed side. Whatever it was, it knew that she had to escape the heartache haunting her and the harsh words she never thought would come from her best friend. It did not matter now because no matter how long and how fast she ran, the words were burned into her mind and would always cut at her soul.

* * * *

Christopher watched Illiana dart into the woods. When she was gone, he collapsed to his knees and hung his head in hands. The words he had spoken to her ran through his mind. He could not believe he had said them. He never wished to hurt Illiana’s feelings. She was the only one among all his friends, family, and the pack he could truly be himself with. All the others expected him to be the tough son of the alpha. But she understood the man he was. And now he had shattered the one good thing in his life.

“What did I do?” he whispered to himself.

The urge to chase after and follow her gripped him. Her dejected expression after he had said those things plagued him. It would never leave him. Nor would how she felt against him. She was soft, and they fit together so well. Seeing her tonight in her dress showing off her breasts and all her wonderful curves, it was like he saw her in a different light. It tugged on his desire for her, and he needed to claim her. That was all he had wanted to do. The wolf inside of him agreed that it wanted her as well. They might have been friends for all these years, but the one thing he could never truly admit to himself was that he had feelings for her. It did not matter she was a raven or if she ended up being some shape-shifting vole. All he wanted was her in his arms. But that could never be. He knew it, and so did Illiana. And Jalisa had only made things worse when she’d burst in on them.